Okay, so I'm making a The Dark Knight Rises fanfiction. And I'm at the part where Batman and Bruce fight. My character Abigail is there. I needed an opinion to see if I'm using Bane, correctly.

 

Like this (Which I added (The beginning of the fight) "Seems like you brought your companion. I'm sure she's been trained well." (He says to Bruce)

 

And this (Bane just pushed Batman over the railing)  "You still stand with a Knight that is about to fall?" Bane says turning to Abigail.

 

This (Batman is practically defeated on the ground.) "Alright, young one. You have two options." He says walking to Abigail slowly as she slowly backs up. "You will either fall with the Bat or rot with the city. Your choice." She shakes her head, not wanting either of those. Because both mean; losing Bruce. "Alright, have it your way then." Bane says putting his hands together. (Then he tries to punch her, she dodges, blah blah blah)

 

And lastly, this (Bane kicks Abigail, she's in pain on the ground. He makes an explosion go off, says his lines about the "Precious armory." Then grabs Abigail and well, this.) Bane walks to Abigail quickly, she tries to move away. But it is no use. Bane grabs her throat and she grips onto his hand. She tries to kick. "And you will lose the only person here, that you love." He says to Batman as he punches her in the same spot he has kicked. 

 

So my question is, since I added the lines myself. Did I use Bane's character, correctly? I think I did, but I'd like another opinion.

Edited August 13, 201411 yr by TheWayToDawn

yeah, that sounds like a bane to me.................................................................MY PARENTS ARE DEAD

I think you struck the right tone with Bane, but the choices he gave Abigail...might not work, depending on what Abigail's relationship with Bruce is and how long she has been working with him. If she just started, then I think the choice could work. If she goes back a ways, I don't think Bane would seriously give her the option to walk away. Unless that was a ruse for Abigail to walk into a trap if she left.

I think you struck the right tone with Bane, but the choices he gave Abigail...might not work, depending on what Abigail's relationship with Bruce is and how long she has been working with him. If she just started, then I think the choice could work. If she goes back a ways, I don't think Bane would seriously give her the option to walk away. Unless that was a ruse for Abigail to walk into a trap if she left.

 

Well, the reason why he gave her the second option. Was because that one would hurt Bruce most. Because Abigail is the adopted daughter of Bruce Wayne (Abigail Justice Wayne, is the new name she) which he adopted her in The Dark Knight. It would hurt Bruce more, not only to see the city go through chaos, but his daughter going through it as well. And Bane wouldn't let her walk away without a scratch, I can assure that. Even though he's targeting Bruce, he also has a small target on Abigail, because she is one of the people Bruce cares for most. (Also including Alfred on the list.) 

 

Edit; More of her history, Batman saved her from Scarecrow. She became an experiment to Scarecrow, which I'm still working on all the Batman Trilogy movies all at once. Batman kept her at the mansion, because he feared if he let her back out there. Scarecrow would find her again and use her to get around the antidote. She's an orphan and also a forgotten girl to anyone. So no one would notice her absence. That's when she convinces Bruce into letting her help in her own identity. So that mean Bruce has trained her and helped give her another identity as he tried to go after Scarecrow.

 

At the end of Batman Begins, he adopts her as a "legal guardian." But later on in The Dark Knight, he realized how much he cares for Abigail and adopted her as a daughter. Abigail was honored with both. He took the liberty of giving the middle name "Justice". Because, what does Batman fight for? He fights for, Justice. (I know, the middle name is kinda cheesy. But I figured to give them something to connect with.)

Edited August 13, 201411 yr by TheWayToDawn

Well, the reason why he gave her the second option. Was because that one would hurt Bruce most. Because Abigail is the adopted daughter of Bruce Wayne (Abigail Justice Wayne, is the new name she) which he adopted her in The Dark Knight. It would hurt Bruce more, not only to see the city go through chaos, but his daughter going through it as well. And Bane wouldn't let her walk away without a scratch, I can assure that. Even though he's targeting Bruce, he also has a small target on Abigail, because she is one of the people Bruce cares for most. (Also including Alfred on the list.) Edit; More of her history, Batman saved her from Scarecrow. She became an experiment to Scarecrow, which I'm still working on all the Batman Trilogy movies all at once. Batman kept her at the mansion, because he feared if he let her back out there. Scarecrow would find her again and use her to get around the antidote. She's an orphan and also a forgotten girl to anyone. So no one would notice her absence. That's when she convinces Bruce into letting her help in her own identity. So that mean Bruce has trained her and helped give her another identity as he tried to go after Scarecrow.At the end of Batman Begins, he adopts her as a "legal guardian." But later on in The Dark Knight, he realized how much he cares for Abigail and adopted her as a daughter. Abigail was honored with both. He took the liberty of giving the middle name "Justice". Because, what does Batman fight for? He fights for, Justice. (I know, the middle name is kinda cheesy. But I figured to give them something to connect with.)

In that case, I'd say your writing for Bane was quite fitting for the character. Heh, and don't worry too much about things sounding cheesy. Batman and the characters associated with him have all had a dose of cheesy every once in a while.

Edited August 13, 201411 yr by rikunobodyxiii

In that case, I'd say your writing for Bane was quite fitting for the character. Heh, and don't worry too much about things sounding cheesy. Batman and the characters associated with him have all had a dose of cheesy every once in a while.

 

LOL yeah true.

(I'd like but I reached my quota )