Ive seen an unusual amount of depression and/or suicide related statuses latley, so i decided to share my own story for others to look to.
I want to make it perfectly clear im not looking for attention or sympathy.
Got it memorized? cool.
So. a few months ago, towards the end of summer in the northwestern U.S., i started getting depressed. I was sad becasuse i felt pointless. I felt like i didnt deserve to live, becasuse all ive been doing is playing video games, consuming resources that could be given to someone who deserved it more. The thing that kept me going was my girlfreind. she made me feel wanted. despite that, i was still struggling. About a week after our story begins, the clinical depression set in. i stopped eating and leaving my room. I would just lie around all day. i even stopped playing video games. About two weeks after THAT, shit started to hit the fan. I suppose the "Trigger", as it seems to be called, was the day my girlfriend broke up with me. i was in school at the time, in the morning. it took until lunch for me to decide to kill myself.
Id like to stop for a second to clarify something. i didnt decide to kill myself becasue she broke up with me. i got past that. i decided to because now, i had nothing left. I was back to being a looser who just sat around all day. I was worthless.
Okay, now back to our regularly scheduled story.
I mumbled something to myself about it at lunch. my friend noticed it and took it seriously, thank god, and told someone. they tokd my parents, and they took me to the hospital. I cant say much about the hospital seeing as thats illegal, but i will say that talking to the therapists there was great. it helped alot. they also put me on medication. for the longest time, i was against it, but now that im on it, i can say that it really has helped. It has not only taken care of my depression, but it has also helped my anxiety.
Let me wrap this up. ive walked away form this knowing a few things. one. no matter what, someone will miss you. your death will devistate them. two. it can get better. trust me, i know that all someone in this state of mind wants to here is that youll miss them. they dont care about the "worth" it has or anything like that, they just want to know theyre worth something. If you need, ill tell you. but there are plenty of people who can. three. Dont give up. Things work out, i promise. If they didnt, we'd all be dead anyway.
Feel like it goes with out saying, but if you really need someone to talk to, im here.
Ive seen an unusual amount of depression and/or suicide related statuses latley, so i decided to share my own story for others to look to.
I want to make it perfectly clear im not looking for attention or sympathy.
Got it memorized? cool.
So. a few months ago, towards the end of summer in the northwestern U.S., i started getting depressed. I was sad becasuse i felt pointless. I felt like i didnt deserve to live, becasuse all ive been doing is playing video games, consuming resources that could be given to someone who deserved it more. The thing that kept me going was my girlfreind. she made me feel wanted. despite that, i was still struggling. About a week after our story begins, the clinical depression set in. i stopped eating and leaving my room. I would just lie around all day. i even stopped playing video games. About two weeks after THAT, shit started to hit the fan. I suppose the "Trigger", as it seems to be called, was the day my girlfriend broke up with me. i was in school at the time, in the morning. it took until lunch for me to decide to kill myself.
Id like to stop for a second to clarify something. i didnt decide to kill myself becasue she broke up with me. i got past that. i decided to because now, i had nothing left. I was back to being a looser who just sat around all day. I was worthless.
Okay, now back to our regularly scheduled story.
I mumbled something to myself about it at lunch. my friend noticed it and took it seriously, thank god, and told someone. they tokd my parents, and they took me to the hospital. I cant say much about the hospital seeing as thats illegal, but i will say that talking to the therapists there was great. it helped alot. they also put me on medication. for the longest time, i was against it, but now that im on it, i can say that it really has helped. It has not only taken care of my depression, but it has also helped my anxiety.
Let me wrap this up. ive walked away form this knowing a few things. one. no matter what, someone will miss you. your death will devistate them. two. it can get better. trust me, i know that all someone in this state of mind wants to here is that youll miss them. they dont care about the "worth" it has or anything like that, they just want to know theyre worth something. If you need, ill tell you. but there are plenty of people who can. three. Dont give up. Things work out, i promise. If they didnt, we'd all be dead anyway.
Feel like it goes with out saying, but if you really need someone to talk to, im here.
Hope this helps someone.
Edited by TheGuide