The sun shines in the bedroom,

When we play,

The raining always starts,

When you go away...

 

 

But i'll be waiting here in the house all alone,

Looking out the window and calling on the phone,

I love you,

And you love me too,

But when you are here,

The minutes are so few.

 

I open the door to the outside world,

And walk along the path when our love curled,

I looked at the meetings,

The greetings,

The grace,

 

I looked at the love we had made with our own special pace,

We got together,

But we fell apart,

Like this storm-beaten weather,

My heart...oh my heart,

 

I stumbled through the masses,

The hearts are all torn,

I look through these glasses,

At the new image of you born.....

That was really good poem Sorage55.

I'm trying to get more into sonnets than my usual deathful poems.

Well this one was really good.

Thank ye.

Awesome Sorage. I am glad to see something not so deathful lol ( Although I love your dreadful poems just s much)

there really isnt any flow, i wouldnt call it a poem x:

I do enjoy poetry, but I do not understand everything within how to create a proper one. Most if not all the poetry I write is spontaneous and of the moment, giving thought to only my muse and my rhymes, I have bad memory, therefore I have forgotten almost all the teachings of English class. But I enjoy your criticism anyways.

you dont have to have english, why not dissect other poems or just look it up? you have the potential to write great poems, but right now all i see are randomly placed words and a desperation to rhyme. even if its not, thats what it looks like, if you undestand what i am saying? x:

idk.

You really have potential Sorage, and as always I loved this one, and really it's very difficult to make a poem, to know how to express your feelings through words. Congratulations.