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Posted

im black the night

im bight like the sun

im red like fire

im brown like the earth

im all the colors that are met to be

im like the elements who fight

im like the stars that shine in the night.

im like the moon that sends light on the earth

im like the world that lifes the people

Hope you like it

Featured Replies

It's good.I like it.Unique and different.Very nice.

  • Author

Your like a rose that booms in summer.

Your like the light because your the shine in my eyes

Your like the heart i never had

Your like the crow and im like the raven who love darkness.

This is really nice.Romantic to in someway.Good job.

  • Author

you me we r the same

the winter is like the snow we never had

the rain is god crying

the summer is heilos the sun god turning up the heat

The cold is like the ice titan

the god and titans are the same

nice your very good is it a nobodys point of view?

Try using correct spelling and grammer. Ex.:

you me we r the same

You and me; we are the same.

 

Also, if speaking religiously, like about God in Heaven, "God" would be capatalized.

 

What's the point of this last one? It sounds like you're talking about the Lightning Theif, but then it stops making sense to me..

Your like a rose that booms in summer.

Your like the light because your the shine in my eyes

Your like the heart i never had

Your like the crow and im like the raven who love darkness.

 

It's "you're like" not "your like"

 

 

you me we r the same

the winter is like the snow we never had

the rain is god crying

the summer is heilos the sun god turning up the heat

The cold is like the ice titan

the god and titans are the same

 

Some capitalization would be nice please

 

im black the night

im bight like the sun

im red like fire

im brown like the earth

im all the colors that are met to be

im like the elements who fight

im like the stars that shine in the night.

im like the moon that sends light on the earth

im like the world that lifes the people

Hope you like it

 

Capitalization on the "I's" are needed and you need to use apostrophoes in between I and m. Look, we're not making fun of you. If you cannot take one ounce of criticsism, then don't write :/ Everyone takes criticsism. Not everyone is perfect. I'm not perfect, Paopufruity is not perfect, lexi is not perfect, LazorKittehs is not perfect, Auroras is not perfect and you are not perfect. I understand that, but just because that your not perfect, doesn't mean that you can just abuse the language of English in a bad way. And also that "texting excuse" can fool some people, but it doesn't fool me. The texting excuse is just completely ridiculous. This is a formal fourm. I quite honestly think you're just being lazy. Look, improve your grammar, spelling, don't use the texting excuse and then maybe I'll actually like your writing. Once again, this is criticsism. Do not take it so seriously.

/end criticsism.

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