JesusFreak 41 Posted September 11, 2009 Okay so the ppl who read my thread "Should I or not?" I was talking about making a story...Well I'm gonna do it now! It's about Aryxa(the girl i play in the RPs) before she became a nobody...Oh and i haven't found a name for the story let..But i'm working on it...Well here goes nothing... Chapter 1 A Day to Remember... The morning breeze went through the opened window as a fourteen year old girl woke up. Ahh..Another beautiful day! I thought. "Morning Arya" Devon, my older brother said as I came down the stairs. "Do you remember what day it is today?" He asked as he poured some milk for my cereal. "No...Why?" I asked. "No reason...Oh Josh and Alex are waiting at the beach.." "Great thanks!" I tried to run out of the house but he pushed me back into the chair and said "Oh no you don't! You need to eat first!" "But-" "No Buts. Now eat!" "Fine you win...This time!" I smiled then started eating. I finished eating and left the house jogging. Hmm..I wonder what we're going to do today? As i jogged near the beach I saw my two best friends Josh and Alex sitting on some rocks waiting for me. Now my best friend in the whole wide world is Alex. She's pretty crazy and outgoing but a great friend. We've known each other forever. Now Josh was my other best friend but We haven't known him as long. Josh was more of the quiet type. He only talked mostly to me and Alex thats why we became friends with him. I like Josh though, his really nice and can be very funny sometimes. ------------------------------------- I kind of messed up a lot...So i'm gonna fix it later. but i gtg to bed now so I'll do it tomorrow! EDIT: I finally decided to restart this....but I barely remember what I was originally going to do...but whatever I'll dabble with it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kairi-loves-Sushi 15 Posted September 11, 2009 lolz, it very short but not bad. U did mess up a little like you said, but no big deal. you just need to indent when a new person starts talking. i.e. Instead of this: "Oh no you don't!Your gonna eat first!" "But-" "No Buts. Now eat!" "Fine you win...This time!" I smiled then started eating.It should be like this"Oh no you don't! You're gonna eat first!" "But-" "No Buts. Now eat!" "Fine you win...This time!" I smiled then started eating. write more to the chappy is the last i have to say :] Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JesusFreak 41 Posted September 11, 2009 Yea I know it needs to be longer.. I need to fix it...but I'm just too lazy to do it right now!but I'll do it tomorrow..Maybe... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kairi-loves-Sushi 15 Posted September 11, 2009 lol, take ur time. It least you had the motivation to starts writing something, I could never do that Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JesusFreak 41 Posted September 11, 2009 Yea i guess..But i don't think I'll have anytime now..Cause i now have Youth group on wednesdays, I have to go with my dad to pick up my friends that go to Public school everyday which makes me lose time on my school, I'm gonna be gone next friday to go to Six Flags,And I have so much schoolwork I have to do double the work everyday so I can get caught up..Cause I'm not in my right grade right now...And I'm starting to help my dad(His a pastor) at church all the time with other stuff..And some other personal stuff..Plus when Impact choir starts I'm gonna be even busier..and i bet thats not that much but for me it is...I just want to play Kh or go on the computer..and relax..I really miss Summer : ( Well I'll try and finish this sometime..But as i just said I'll be really busy.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kairi-loves-Sushi 15 Posted September 11, 2009 Yeah, I understand. Life gets busy after summer. I miss my summer too Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Larxene12 86 Posted September 19, 2009 nice story@! when i write i dont indent but i am too lazy to do it -.-' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites