Hey. Yeah, you. Would you like to make Sixty-ONE dollars? Yeah, that's right. It's gone up from Sixty dollars. If you accept, take a Handheld-Portal device, and start testing. For science. If you decline, you can go back to being a broke bum, like when we found you.

 

Wait, what's that, Caroline? According to the Government, we are required to tell you these tests are dangerous. But, when have I ever listened to the d*** government? THIS-IS-FOR-SCIENCE. Also, our Mantis men escaped. We suggest taking a rifle, just in case.

 

So, will you help us? And I swear, if you go to Black Mesa, I will personally rip of all your limbs and....Oh, yeah. Caroline, get the gel ready. We have some science to do.

You are right. We do have science to do. Unfortunately, willing test subjects are a rather... rare... breed.

Therefore, all members of KH13.com will be required to attend an... employee enrichment seminar.

For science, of course...

OK CAVE JOHNSON. IF THERE'S SCIENCE TO DO, I WILL BE THERE!

 

Your whole life has been a scientific error...

 

A scientific error I'm about to correct.

Cave, i'm bleeding gasoline, is that normal?

I WANNA JOIN! DO WE EAT MONKEYS WHILE WE TEST?!

Somebody has to lock this thread if anyone dare post the lemon rant.

Somebody has to lock this thread if anyone dare post the lemon rant.

 

Don't make melon-juice, get mad! Give the Watermelons back to Life! I don't want your damn Watermelons! Does life know who I am!? I'm the guy who's gonna burn life's house down! With the Watermelons! I'll make my scientists invent some kind of combustible Watermelons and burn Life's house down!

 

Technically, that wasn't the lemon rant.

Lemons are life's way of rubbing in your face it can do better. But I won't continue with that.

 

Anyways, about the sixty-one dollar thing...we can't pay you that much. It's not because we don't have the money. It's because your not worth that much. Yeah, sorry. Anyways, continue on. For science!