Heroow people of KH13. I am allowing you all to join my new cult religion! Want to know more? Then continue reading!
GOD:
Our God is the Almighty, super awesome and totally not ficional Albus Dumbledore!
Albus Dumbledore, a great, powerful and wise man. He leads us into the meadows so we can skip happily with our Brothers. When we die, after 30 years of trianing [there is an exception to this rule to be explained later] We are re-born as unicorns in said meadows.
BELIEFS:
When we die, after 30 years of trainign out God, Albus Dumbledore, grants us the power to become unocrns.
Once a unicorn, we can run freely in the meadows, with our Unicron Brethen, headed of course by Dumbledore himself.
Our God's ulitmate BeibZ scroll is the key to everlating happiness/
Narwhales ae the Demon's spawn.
Democracy is Evil and is ruining the World.
Obama, leader of Democracy and black, is evil.
Praising time:
Our Days of Everlasting Magic are Fridays. On days like these we will:
"It's the day of the Church of Unicornism so we are going on out weekly hunt for our God, Albus Dumbledore. There, we may encounter giant, wolves, Death Eaters. Once we find the sacred scroll of BeibZ, we may be able to find our God--Albus Dumbledore. Then, he will promise us Unicron reincarnations when we die so we may skip in the meadows with our Brethren at peace. But first, we must go on adventures of Violence, Blood and Murder and resist the evils of Obama, Narwhales, Democacy and Trust"
On days other than Fridays, we dance around the statue of the Elder Wand, giving my prays of violvence and soroow to all. We then stop at exactly the third hour and bow down, deep in prayer for the next four hours. After that, stand up and wipe the tears from out eyes.
All prayers MUST include:
Racist thoughts
Death to all Narwhales
Love of BeibZ
Dirty thoughts of children.
Unicrons
Dumbledore
Gellert Grindlewald
Prayers MAY include:
Lust for Twinkies
Violence
Rage
Blood
Bloodlust
Handjobs.
ANCIENT BeibZ SCROLL:
This scroll, is the key to everlasting happiness. In this, you will not need 30 years of endless trianing, adventures and lustfull nights to become a unicorn. If you present the scroll of BeibZ to Albus Dumbledore on the Twelth hour of the Second night in Augutst-a full moon, the only time when Dumbledore's glorious figure appears from The Portal of Magic, then you become a unicorn then. Once a unirocn, you can get all the lust filled nights with anyone, you cna change back to human whenever you want, you will live the rest of eternatiy in happiness and wealth.
Heroow people of KH13. I am allowing you all to join my new
cultreligion! Want to know more? Then continue reading!GOD:
Our God is the Almighty, super awesome
and totally not ficionalAlbus Dumbledore!Albus Dumbledore, a great, powerful and wise man. He leads us into the meadows so we can skip happily with our Brothers. When we die, after 30 years of trianing [there is an exception to this rule to be explained later] We are re-born as unicorns in said meadows.
BELIEFS:
- When we die, after 30 years of trainign out God, Albus Dumbledore, grants us the power to become unocrns.
- Once a unicorn, we can run freely in the meadows, with our Unicron Brethen, headed of course by Dumbledore himself.
- Our God's ulitmate BeibZ scroll is the key to everlating happiness/
- Narwhales ae the Demon's spawn.
- Democracy is Evil and is ruining the World.
- Obama, leader of Democracy
Praising time:and black, is evil.Our Days of Everlasting Magic are Fridays. On days like these we will:
"It's the day of the Church of Unicornism so we are going on out weekly hunt for our God, Albus Dumbledore. There, we may encounter giant, wolves, Death Eaters. Once we find the sacred scroll of BeibZ, we may be able to find our God--Albus Dumbledore. Then, he will promise us Unicron reincarnations when we die so we may skip in the meadows with our Brethren at peace. But first, we must go on adventures of Violence, Blood and Murder and resist the evils of Obama, Narwhales, Democacy and Trust"
On days other than Fridays, we dance around the statue of the Elder Wand, giving my prays of violvence and soroow to all. We then stop at exactly the third hour and bow down, deep in prayer for the next four hours. After that, stand up and wipe the tears from out eyes.
All prayers MUST include:
Racist thoughts
Death to all Narwhales
Love of BeibZ
Dirty thoughts of children.
Unicrons
Dumbledore
Gellert Grindlewald
Prayers MAY include:
Lust for Twinkies
Violence
Rage
Blood
Bloodlust
Handjobs.
ANCIENT BeibZ SCROLL:
This scroll, is the key to everlasting happiness. In this, you will not need 30 years of endless trianing, adventures and lustfull nights to become a unicorn. If you present the scroll of BeibZ to Albus Dumbledore on the Twelth hour of the Second night in Augutst-a full moon, the only time when Dumbledore's glorious figure appears from The Portal of Magic, then you become a unicorn then. Once a unirocn, you can get all the lust filled nights with anyone, you cna change back to human whenever you want, you will live the rest of eternatiy in happiness and wealth.
Music of Unicronism:
Justin Beiber
Zac Efron
Devil:
Narwhales
David Spade
Nicholas Cage
Ultimate Scroll MAY look similar to this:
Do YOU have what it takes to be in Unicornism?
Edited by Larxene12