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Posted

The Origin of Canada's Flag


Canada was founded on the whims of the British fashion industry. Beaver fur was, for a time, highly sought after and useful in making hats and the like, popular with rich women of the time.
Soon, colonists began to settle in the harsh wilderness, and the beginnings of a civilization sprouted. And where civilization begins, so to does crime. A militia was soon formed the combat the vagabonds, and they would one day be known as one of the greatest military forces in the world.
While it's older sibling, what would one day be known as the United States of America, floundered with rampant incompetence and an incomprehensible political system based smoking and fighter jets, Canada mastered arts that took other civilizations thousands of years to discover.
Soon, Canada was recognized as the greatest cultural superpower in the world, as much revered for their art and technology as they were feared for their potent military. It did not take long for them to draw jealous eyes.
The newly christened United States of America, who was still struggling to create fire, began to form a devious plot. Drawing upon jealous members of the British Commonwealth, whom had never aspired to the great heights of Canada, such as India and Australia, they soon had a military force that rivaled even Canada's, but how would they strike?
It was not until July 4th 1888 that the United States attacked, though they didn't attack the Canadians. One of their parties encountered another American party, and attacked immediately, without waiting for their commander's order. While the American citizens struggled to explain that they weren't Canadian, the military force took them all prisoner, and later that same day declared their 'victory' over Canada, eventually this day became an annual holiday in the United States.
The higher ups eventually discovered their mistake, thirteen years later. They created a new prison state, known as 'Haway' and jettisoned it into the sea, with their July 4th prisoners in tow. The prisoners, over their thirteen year imprisonment, had grown resentful of their bumbling superiors, and secretly began to study forbidden Canadian arts. As such, what was intended to be a death sentence instead lead to the creation of the successful autonomous state, 'Hawaii', as its denizens mastered the tropical terrain and eventually created a revenue stream that still outstrips the entirety of the United States to this day.
But I digress. While the Hawayakans, as the Americans called them, were rebuilding, the United States launched a second attack, known as 'Operation Fate/Destiny'
Gathering their troops en masse, they marched upon the Canadian border. For a time, they seemed evenly matched, then the Canadian military arrived, and decimated the troops, who were attempting to attack the civilians with wooden clubs and rocks.
Taking pity on the primitive folk, the Mounties (Canadian Spec Ops) set their muskets to 'stun' and drove back the attackers. Most of the British Commonwealth realized the error of their ways and withdrew quickly, however, the Australians, driven into a blood rage by their obsession with sports, continued to attack. Soon only a ragtag group of American and Australian soldiers, as well as a handful of American tanks, and half a dozen Australian Fighting Kangaroos, remained. Canada saw that they would fight to the end, and was growing weary, as such, they produced their White Flag of Peace on March 31st 1891.
Unfortunately, the military remnants viewed the flag as a sign of surrender, and, thinking they could press the advantage, pushed for a final attack. The Canadians, caught off guard by such a stupid decision, opened fire on the cavalry. their blood dyed the snow red, and splatters touched the White Flag of Peace. Meanwhile, one Canadian misfired, and confidently burnt down the White House, the only building the Americans had managed to build in their one hundred year span. As compensation, Canada offered a portion of their water supplies, should the Americans ever need it, proving that Canada was truly benevolent, even in victory.

Five years later, in 1896, Canadian artist Graceland Brooks took the sullied White Flag of Peace (Of which Canada only had one of, sewing wasn't their thing) and redesigned it into the Canadian flag we all know and love to this day.

Posted Image

Featured Replies

 

The attack by the Americans to take Canada was a failure, and both sides took heavy casualties. Hence why it's known as "The War Nobody Won."

The attack by the Americans to take Canada was a failure, and both sides took heavy casualties. Hence why it's known as "The War Nobody Won."

 

It wasn't entirely a plan to take over Canada, but that's how most Canadians perceived the attack. Either way, we didn't lose and we got most of what we wanted.
  • Author

It wasn't entirely a plan to take over Canada, but that's how most Canadians perceived the attack. Either way, we didn't lose and we got most of what we wanted.

 

Sounds like SOMEBODY has been eating too much propaganda for breakfast.

I so glad Canadians evolved beyond such crude means years ago

Sounds like SOMEBODY has been eating too much propaganda for breakfast.

I so glad Canadians evolved beyond such crude means years ago

 

We attacked Canada because much of it was still a British colony, and we didn't yet have to power to do much else than attack Canada.
  • Author

We attacked Canada because much of it was still a British colony, and we didn't yet have to power to do much else than attack Canada.

 

I don't know why you even thought you had enough power to attack Canada.

I don't know why you even thought you had enough power to attack Canada.

 

We honestly didn't at the time, but I guess most people thought we had to do something.

Children, gather 'round for the history of America.

we win. America has never lost a war. And that's all that matters. Plus Justin Bieber is Canada's fault.



Australia's never lost a war either. Plus we're the only country to have avoided the global recession crisis.

 

I'll keep on topic.

  • Author

 

 

Australia's never lost a war either. Plus we're the only country to have avoided the global recession crisis.

 

I'll keep on topic.

 

Is this on topic because the video isn't available in Canada?

Is this on topic because the video isn't available in Canada?

 

Lol, what? It's a Canadian music video. Lol.

  • Author

Lol, what? It's a Canadian music video. Lol.

 

That's probably why it's blocked ;)

<p>

 

Australia's never lost a war either. Plus we're the only country to have avoided the global recession crisis.</p><p> </p>I'll keep on topic.<p><iframe width="853" height="480" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/1AJmKkU5POA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></p>

 

Can't go wrong with Michael Bublé.

 

 

It wasn't entirely a plan to take over Canada, but that's how most Canadians perceived the attack. Either way, we didn't lose and we got most of what we wanted.

 

The War That Nobody Won

 

Why can't you Americans be humble? Shakes my head.

Children, gather 'round for the history of America.

 

we win. America has never lost a war. And that's all that matters. Plus Justin Bieber is Canada's fault.

 

 

Have you not heard of the War of 1812

 

I really don't believe we won that one

 

 

Why can't you Americans be humble? Shakes my head.

 

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ;n;

lol at america and its defender*

 

 

Have you not heard of the War of 1812

 

I really don't believe we won that one

 

 

 

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ;n;

 

Canada still loves America. xoxoxo <3

Have you not heard of the War of 1812

 

I really don't believe we won that one

 

 

 

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ;n;

 

I guess it prolly is more a matter of opinion. I view it as a victory because we got what we wanted. The British acknowledged our territories and borders, and basically agreed to never touch us again. I figure that if we'd lost, we would've forfeit a significant portion of land and stuff, but we didn't.

 

I need to stop being so srs on random threads 8D

The story of Canada is just Wibbley Wobbley Timey Wimey stuff.

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