Chapter 1:

3 years after kngdom hearts 2....

 

Ben woke up in a cold sweat ".... Another dream.." He said, he looked over at his alarm clock. It read 4:48 am, he got out of bed and put his clothes on and snuck out the window. He walked downt he sidewalk to a hill that looked like it touched the moon, he sat down. There was a girl next to him "Hi Ben, why are you out of here?" "Because I knew your the only person awake at 4 in the morning, and I need someone to talk to" Ben said. "Ok whats up?" "Im still having dreams about this ansem guy" he said "I dont know why, but everytime I see him.... I just want to hurt people.." "Wow.... thats some dream." The girl said "I know..... But enough about me, why are YOU out here?" " I like being out here at night, its quite" The girl said.

Ben stood up "Im so ready to leave this town" she looked up at him "You dont want to see me?" "N-no of cours I do... Its just, ive been here all my life and im ready to see the world, ya know what I mean........... umm April?" she fell asleep listening to him. "Sheesh... am I that dull?"

 

ok.... what do you think so far? please give me your brutaly honest review.

 

-ZACH

uuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...it was okay I guess. I will absoultely not give you a brutally honest review, cause i'm not much of a mean guy T_T.

I can't give brutally honest reviews cause I'm too nice.

Well I will say this, put is as an Introduction. Because if that's Chapter 1, you're just really throwning out a random story that we can't get into unless you either explain it (like what usually a book does if you read the back of it), or do an introduction of the story or do number two but in Chapter One, you explain important information to the reader.

 

That is my brutally honest review.

(its a intro... )

Ben shook April awake "Im going home, thanks for the advice" he said "Yea... anytime" she said wearily. Ben walked down the street,sudently, his vision began to blur. "Ugh.. my head" Ben stumbled home he snuck back in through the window and tried to goto sleep. Everything went black. Ben woke up on a large, round platform. "Where am I?" he said aloud, He stood up and looked at the ground. It was strangley cool, doves rose off the groud and feathers danced in the air around him as they flew away. Ben looked up at the doves... Do not be afraid, a voice said out of nowhere "Wha- whos there?!" Ben studerd. Step into the light, the mysterious voice said. Ben stepped into the bright light, but beware, a dark shadow formed behind Ben, the farther you step into the light the darker your shadow gets. Ben looked behind him and saw the dark creature form behind him "What is that?!" Ben sreamed, Do not be afraid.... the light will always be with you. A sword like weapon apeared in his hand "....Key... Blade...?"

Keyblade...

Keyblade...

Keyblade...

It Echoed in his mind like thunder, the shadow lunged at Ben but he slashed it in half. It disolved into nothing, suddently, there was a loud crash. The platform began to tilt, Ben stuck his keyblade into the ground to keep himself from sliding completely off. He looked down and saw a giant shadow "Aaaaah!!!!!!!" he screamed, his keyblade slid out of the platform. He was falling face first toward the shadows, he stabbed it in the face causing it to flinch. His keyblade dug into the creatures face, the only thing saving him from falling was the giant shadow. Ben eyes shot open, he sat up in his bed "was it... a dream?" he asked to himself "No.... It wasnt, keybearer..." Another voice said from the end of the bed. It was Ansem's heartless "Hello.... Ben."

Its too much of KH1. Make an extreme amount of difference between your story and KH1. Otherwise no one would read this continuously.

I'm afraid I agree with Sorage on this one...

It's to similar to the existing storyline, definitely make some changes...

Indeed, all the characters can still be there, just don't have everything start off this way (or continue this way) how about some un-KH related things here?

(this IS a kh story..... and they all have the cenral station in the begining)

oh well...just try to put a little more difference into it...at least...

Ben stared wied eyed at the man at the end of the bed, "Y-you!!! what do you want?!" Ben stammered, The man walked over to Ben and picked him up by the neck "You may not know..." He slamed Ben against the wall "But I OWN you" he threw him on the floor. Bens neck burned "*cough* Y-you dont own me!.." Ben said "You will find out soon enough" Ansem said as he faded away, he rubed the back of his neck, it felt like it was on fire. He stumbled out of his room, vision blured, Ben walked into the and looked at himself in the mirror. Ben was sweating, he spalshed water on his face to try to cool himself off. Ben looked at himself in the mirror, 'It feels like my heart is on fire' he thought. He stumbled down the stairs "What is happening?.." Ben asked aloud "Mom I dont-" his mother wasnt in the house. "Mom?" Ben called out, he looked around and couldnt find her. He went outside, the sky was dark and looked as if the hold world was abandoned. "Where is everyone?" He asked aloud, Ben walked outside. He saw April walking down the street "April?..." Ben called out, he ran behind her. "April! wait up!.." he caught up to her, he taped her on the shoulder and she turned to him. Her eyes turned yellow, skin night black. Heis skin felt cold, and sudently he felt sick. She pounced on him and ran off, "April!!!" he screamed. Sudently the back of his neck began to burn, his vision blured. He ran after her.

 

 

whew! It took me forever to write this part. I dont know why, maybe cuz im lazy.