_EPISODE 1_

 

Setting: A huge Kingdom Hearts logo with a keyblade spinning around in the middle. An intro with the title shows up on the screen...transitioning to a backdrop of the same logo, with Sora, standing in place.

 

Sora: Holy smokes, baloney, fudge and mustard, stop the presses and stop the internet!! If you are a member of KH13, and are loading this up your internet machine....you're here. Now, stand, the F**K UP!!

 

(No one stands up. Not even the cast members off screen watching)

 

Sora: -__-....Well, anyways....welcome to 5 Questions With The Kingdom Hearts Cast....where the most important questions on the face of this planet are answered....these, my friends (holds up paper) are the questions. And we (spreads arms out) We...have the answers....the answers to existance! (raises fist)

 

Riku: (Off-stage): By God, you're a ham.

 

Sora: (looks to Riku): By God, you're a homo.

 

(off-screen cast "OOOOHHHH"s in unison.)

 

Riku: -__-....just start the f*king show.

 

Sora: Alrighty then! First question....

 

(record skip, pause)

 

Hi, Firaga96. You know, I was going to make up stuff at this point, but then i thought, "Hey, why not get some actual questions going?"

 

So, KH13.com, I'm leaving the rest to you. Post some questions, being about anything you want to ask Sora, and once I get five, I'll continue the story from there. If you didn't get your question in, you can always ask another one for another character.

Edited October 14, 201213 yr by Firaga96

Whoops. I'll change that.

 

 

 

Yeesh. Two for one.

Thanks. Here, have some cookies.

 

 

 

Thanks. Here, have some cookies.

 

 

Yosh! Thanks a bunch.

Seriously make one more question on him from us why he can't tell you you're actual gender is please Firaga.

 

Hey, this episodes gonna be done tonight. I don't need to sleep so you don't need to wait for me to wrap things up.

Edited February 18, 201312 yr by Firaga96

Yay. Though I still wonder why everyone mistakes me as a boy.

(unpause)

 

Marluxia: Next question! From...Gambler'sApprentice, another regular question-asker on the show...he asks, "Wouldn'tit havebenn easier to turn Roxasto your side then play off Namine's loneliness to call Sora to Castle Oblivion so she could begin rewriting his memories so he held a loyalty to her, and would fight in her name which you would then play off of to manipulate him into fighting your battles, but only so long as Namine continued to work with you? Meanwhile Roxas, asa blank slate, could have his whole personality molded by you two." ... uh...well, before I answer your question, let me ask you a question: Spell Check, much? Just saying, man. Second, since I can actually understand what you're trying to write in to me: No, because personally, I think she'd be too much of a goody-two shoes to do that; she wasn't exactly obidient during the whole Castle Obilvion thing. Her self esteems not that low, you know.

 

Namine: You're a dick. -__-

 

Marluxia: Yeah, yeah, cat eats food, whatever.

 

Namine: Oh, one time I did that!

 

Roxas: If you're done picking on my girlfriend, you have an episode to wrap up. :angry:

 

Marluxia: (flatly) Sure thing, Ventus.

 

Roxas: I'm Roxas!

 

Marluxia: Whatever. Anyways, here we are with our last question. Unfortunatley, it's not one of the best questions in the world, as I said it would be. Like I said (sigh) I built it up too big.

 

Sora: (snaps fingers) Just pick it up.

 

Marluxia: (turns to Sora) D-Don't, don't give me this, I'm playing the part here. This is the moment; these are the moments that shape our existence.

 

Sora: You're starting to get weird, dude.

 

Marluxia: Well, I still have something to cling to right now, so I'm just going with the flow, alright? Let's just get this done with. The last question is from Tom13. He writes,"Hey Marluxia did you know that Nomura once planned to make you a female but made you a guy instead because he didn't want all of the traitors to be girls?" Well, actually, I didn't know that. I don't see why, though...though I guess one crazy bitch is enough. (laughs)

 

Larxene: :angry:...I will haunt your dreams!

 

Marluxia: You already do, along with Ricky.

 

Larxene: Ricky?

Marluxia: Don't ask, anyways, to close this episode of 5 Questions, I think I should give a little speech; there's been a lot of talk about boys and girls and femininity and what not in this episode...so what I would like to do is give a Public Service Announcement, on behalf of the LGBT, as well as my fans who continue to support--

 

(Camera falls, almost hits Marluxia, who dodges)

Marluxia: The hell was that?!

 

Larxene: (up top near the cables for the cameras) Dammit, I missed! 

 

X*X*X*X*X

 

Okay, three things. One: Yay, my internet's back! Two: I apologize for Marluxia mistaking girls for boys. I guess since the operation, he's had some of his screws loosened a little, know what I mean? Besides, when I write his material, I forget just how many females tune into this show. I'm not used to girls talking to me. Three: I do not condone hate against gays, lesbians, bisexuals, or transvestites. I don't even find it hilarious. I just felt that Larxene should close out the show like that. Besides, speeches are BOOOOORING....

 

But, anyways, there's one more episode of 5 Q's done. We've gone through 4 members of the Org. 13: Marluxia, Roxas, Lea, and Xion. I kinda like the pattern we have going here with the Org., so next episode will definetly be a Org. member. The question is: who? Do I hear suggestions?

Edited January 26, 201312 yr by Firaga96

Xemnas

This thread deserves to be nominated in the best of kh13. Dont you agree?

This thread deserves to be nominated in the best of kh13. Dont you agree?

 

Maybe so.

Maybe so.

'Maybe'? DEFINITELY.

Demyx: (fumbles with microphone) Is this on? Testing, 1-2-3...(clears throat)...(clears throat again, and even louder)....hello, my buddies! This is Demyx, and I'm the next host for the next episode of 5 Questions With The Kingdom Hearts Cast. I know I'm gonna have a blast answering all you guy's questions and looking good while doing it. It's really great to be able to interact with you guys, and remember, none all this would be happening if we didn't have our cool cat creator of the show behind the scenes, working hard, and giving us time to have some fun. Ain't that right boss?I hate you. :angry:

 

Demyx: Ha-ha, you're a riot, man. Now, remember guys: send in your questions. The faster you do, the faster we get the new episode out. See you then!

SO, what do you acually do?

You told Roxas you do Recon, but bunches of missions were "find this heartless threat we don't know and eliminate"

_ EPISODE 11 _

 

Demyx: Holy smokes, baloney, fudge and mustard, stop the presses, stop the internet!!! Stop your Yahoo and Google searchin', stop looking at girls...s(flatly) stop looking at guys. Don't bump into me...I did a full spread once...and by that, I mean, I spread everything. You wouldn't know me back then; I was known under the name of "Mike Honcho"... (small pause) (stifles laugh while speaking) Bad Talledega Nights reference aside...

 

(Cast is heard stifling giggles as well)

 

Demyx: (clears throat) Hello, ladies and germs, to the eleventh episode of 5 Questions With The Kingdom Hearts Cast. And before we start today's episode, we've noticed that a few cast members aren't here right now, so the Boss is backstage tryin' to weed 'em out. We now go live backstage to the Boss, Boss?

 

(camera cuts to a hallway where I am standing in with a microphone in hand)

 

Yeah, here I am. It's weird how these guys can just pop in and pop out whenever they want. Demyx, I'm walking through the halls, and I'm in front of the dressing rooms for Sora, Roxas, and Riku, all conveniently placed next to one another. They, plus Kairi and Namine are the guys MIA; Imma open Sora's door first and see what's up.

 

(I grad the handle, twist open, sees Sora is leaning back on his makeup chair with Kairi positioned on his lap, arms around his neck, while the two play a game of tongue wrestling.)

 

Sora and Kairi: (they notice I'm here) Ay, shut the damn door!

 

Whoops! Sorry! (I close the door bluntly) Geez, that was a weird sight. Uh, I wonder what's going on in Roxa's room...

 

(opens door, sees Roxas sitting on a chair with Namine...on her knees...her back facing me...and I'm guessing her mouth is on Roxa's....Keyblade)

 

Roxas and Namine: Ay, shut the damn door!

 

GAH! Sorry! (I slam the door shut) Oh God, these kids and their hormones...(sigh)...Okay, I'm going to Riku's room now, and I hope that even though he's the cast's biggest pervert, he'll at least show some damn decency when I walk in...and yes, it's right next to Sora's and Roxa's.

 

(goes to Riku's door, puts hand on handle)

 

I'm not so sure about this...(draws breath)...screw it, I'm doing it!

 

(thrusts door open...and what I see....well....Riku is butt naked, is tied to some kind of device with black leather straps...has a gag in his mouth...blindfolded...and there's a black woman with a dominatrix outfit on and carrying a thin whip)

 

….

 

Riku: Hey, if you're gonna stand there, then at least pick up a camera and film this; I want to remember how this feels...oh, and this is my girlfriend, Shaniqua.

Shaniqua: How you doing, sugar?

 

Uh....(slowly closes door) Excuse me a moment...(I walk off screen...I get to a certain distance from the sound system so that my words are faint...and then you can hear a soft “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!” …. and then I walk back on screen)

 

Back to you, Demyx; I need a break from this...whatever the hell I'm doing now.

 

(Back at the Q studio)

 

Demyx: That maybe the most disturbing thing we've ever seen on this show...and we all remember the time Riku danced...ugh...well, before the floors are covered with puke, I say we get this show on the road. Are you with me?(Studio audience cheers (you thought I forgot about that, didn't you?))

 

Demyx: Ok then! Question one...

 

(pause)

To: Marluxia.Have sex with me.

To: Marluxia.Have sex with me.

 

XD XD ....

 

I'm gonna have fun with this one.

Edited February 7, 201312 yr by Firaga96

To Demyx: so you are lazy but you can actually fight? (Glares at remembering hard mode with kh2)

To Demyx: so you are lazy but you can actually fight? (Glares at remembering hard mode with kh2)

Like Shikamaru, but less entertaining.

To Demyx: Since you're able to control water and all, do you ever prank Axel (since he's fire)?

(unpause)

 

Demyx: Okay then! Question one: from Rixku. She asks (your welcome): "so you are lazy but you can actually fight? (Glares at remembering hard mode with kh2)" ....Tch, yeah, of course. I'm not the best member of the Org. for nothin'!

 

Xemnas: Shut up, Demyx.

 

Demyx: You can't boss me around anymore, Mansex!

 

Xemnas: MANSE--?! I-I told not to call me that!

 

Demyx: Well I did. But again, you can't boss me around anymore, so I don't have to listen to you. Neener neener neener!

 

Xemnas: GRAH! Boss, I refuse to let this be in the script!!!

 

Too bad. It's staying.

 

Xemnas: WHAT?! WHY?!

 

Cuz it's funny.

 

Xemnas: Well, I don't think it's funny!!

 

Well, I'm the writer and what I say goes. And I say it's funny and it's allowed. In fact...

 

Mansex: W-what? What are you doing? I can't see you, I can just hear your voice, but (stops and looks to the left at his name card) NO! NO! NO! NO! I refuse to let my name be dragged through the mud!!!

What, what's the problem? We all know you swing that way with Saix, so why not just come out of the closet?Mansex: I'm not even in the closet!Saix: Neither am I!

 

Is that true?Mansex and Saix: YES!

 

Well, R. Kelly has something to say about that.

 

Mansex and Saix: What?R. Kelly: AND THEN I PULLED OUT MY GUN!

 

Mansex and Saix: AH! Run away! (bolts out of the studio)

 

Heh-heh. 

 

Demyx:...Well....that was different....who knew we could tear down the fourth wall that quickly...oh well. Question two!

 

(pause)

Okay Demyx do you like Xigbar? Oh and Mansex shut up. He's a harder boss fight than you, Xehanort, and firetruck Mysterious Figure was combined.

 

(Omg this is gonna be crazy. Picking on my favorite character at the same time...)

SO, what do you acually do?

You told Roxas you do Recon, but bunches of missions were "find this heartless threat we don't know and eliminate"

This is directed at Demyx.

Okay Demyx do you like Xigbar? Oh and Mansex shut up. He's a harder boss fight than you, Xehanort, and firetruck Mysterious Figure was combined.(Omg this is gonna be crazy. Picking on my favorite character at the same time...)

 

Rixku, what did I tell you, missy? One question only. I know it sucks, but its better this way. Trust me. If I had magic fingers, I'd type something up for everything that was thrown on here at once. But I can't.

This is directed at Demyx.

 

I know. No need to clarify.

But it's a good one! Your just begging me to do it Firaga!

But it's a good one! Your just begging me to do it Firaga!

 

Only if you call me one of the various names on my member title. Be lucky I feel generous right now.

Edited February 7, 201312 yr by Firaga96

Only if you call me one of the various names on my member title. Be lucky I feel generous right now.

You're doing to me what Xeveemon did to me once. Fine then SensiDenpaiSanSamaKunaFiraga. /shot/

You're doing to me what Xeveemon did to me once. Fine then SensiDenpaiSanSamaKunaFiraga. /shot/

 

-____- Now you have to wait for your answer.

-____- Now you have to wait for your answer.

you should of seem that coming.