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Posted

                      Revenge

A small family, composed of a father, mother and two children moved to Rio de Janeiro. It was a very beautiful place to live in. But it was also very dangerous, considering the fact that lots of people had been assassinated in that place previously. However, coming from very far away, the family did not know how this place was.


 In the year of 1967 it had been one year since they began living there. Luckily, nothing had happened to any of them during that time. Harry, the father, was secretly having an affair with their neighbor, Jenny. Talitt, the mother, was a very jealous person, and would not stand finding out about her husband’s lover.


 Kevin, a close friend of Talitt, had told her that he saw Harry entering into Jenny’s house many times lately. Actually, he wished that Jenny would separate herself from Harry so that he could have a chance with her.

“I saw him getting in there yesterday, Talitt.” said Kevin, with a tone of happiness.
“Again? He must be mad! If what we think is proven to be true, then he and that damn woman will have a big surprise! I’m done with it. Tomorrow’s the day!!!!!!!” said Talitt, almost screaming.
“Okay, I’ll help you, don’t worry. We’ll catch them!” said Kevin, trying to pretend he wasn’t happy for having a chance to separate Harry and Talitt.

 

[/b]http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=VICoh887ZNE

 The next day, Talitt was lovey-dovey with Harry –just to test him—and he was lovely as well. But, just as she suspected, instead of going to work earlier, as he told her, he went straight to Jenny’s house.


 Accompanied by Kevin, she followed him, and Kevin managed to quietly open the door, since he had already done that many times. Talitt swiftly headed for Jenny’s room, and saw the two of them kissing. She started shouting, crying and minutes later, she threw everything she could throw at Harry and Jenny.


“YOU WON’T COME BACK TO OUR HOUSE. YOU TRAITOR!!!!! I’LL KILL YOU AND THAT UGLY WOMAN YOU WERE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH! YOU WILL NOT SEE THE CHILDREN EVER AGAIN, I SWEAR!” screamed Talitt, before running back to her house, together with Kevin.

 Angry, Talitt got home and locked the front door, while telling the children to remain at their room. She was really devastated –no one had ever seen her like that. She had lost faith in humanity forever.


When would she suspect her husband was betraying her with one of her friends? Why did all of that happen? Was putting an end to her own life the key of freeing herself from all that pain? Questions like that started popping on her head, but she could not answer any of them. She was always such a good wife, caring about the house, the children—but maybe she had not cared enough about her relationship with her husband. But was that a reason for him to go and have relations with another woman—not any woman, but one of the family’s closest friends?
Suddenly, all her sadness had turned into hatred. She could no longer feel sorry for what happened—she had to do something to make up for Harry’s betrayal. In an impulse, she picked up the family’s gun, and calmly headed to Jenny’s house. They had this gun because some people warned them that sometimes, there’s a lot of violence, and a lot of people end up being killed.

“What are you doing? Have you gone mad?” asked Kevin, with a tone that showed he was very worried about her.
“You have two options: either you go with me, or you stay watching the show from here. Choose.” replied Talitt, showing that she was completely out of her right mind.
“I’ll go with you.” replied Kevin, without thinking twice.

Kevin opened the door of Jenny’s house once again, and this time, they spotted Jenny laughing, while Harry was taking a shower.

“There you are, my friend. So, how was it? Kissing Harry for the last time? I hope you enjoyed it, because you’re not kissing anyone from now on.” said Talitt, while holding the gun and pointing it towards Jenny.
“What? Are you mad? Idiot! As if killing me would bring your husband back to you. He’ll find other women—women much better than you. You live to work and to take care of your family, but you don’t give any attention to the man who you claim to love more than anything? That’s ridiculous. I understand exactly why he came to me that night, asking if he could speak about his problems…” replied Jenny, trying to provoke Talitt even more.
“That’s enough. I actually never liked you. I always felt that smell of a dog who wants to steal things from the others. Bye-bye! We’ll see each other in Hell, someday.” said Talitt, while laughing at how frightened Jenny was.

Seconds after she stopped laughing, no voice was heard for a long time. Only the noise of a shoot—and then three more shots. Jenny’s body remained in that room, unable to move for all eternity. Talitt left Jenny’s house laughing, feeling great for being able to finally get revenge for the pain that woman had brought her. Killing Jenny gave her a feeling of being happy once again.




 

Featured Replies

That was really amazing. One of the best story's I have read in quite some time. The song choice was quite matching, and elegant. Nice job Lu!

Well that all went down hill fast. 

Good as always, Lu Xun!

Good job, I put my suggestions for edits in the quote.

                      Revenge

A small family, composed of a father, mother and two children moved to Rio de Janeiro. It was a very beautiful place to live in. But it was also very dangerous, considering the fact that lots of people had been assassinated in that place previously. However, coming from very far away, the family did not know how this place was.


 In the year of 1967, it completed one year they had been living there.

This might sound better if you said: In the Year of 1967 it had been one year since they began living there

Luckily, nothing had happened to any of them during that time. Harry, the father, was secretly having a romance with the woman that lived next to their house, Jenny.

Might be easier to say: Harry, the father, was having an affair with the family's neighbor Jenny.

Talitt, the mother, was a very jealous person, and would not stand finding out about her husband’s lover.


 Kevin, a close friend of Talitt, had told her that he saw Harry entering into Jenny’s house many times lately. Actually, he wished that Jenny would separate herself from Harry so that he could have a chance with her.

“I saw him getting in there yesterday, Talitt.” said Kevin, with a tone of happiness.
“Again? He must be mad! If what we think is proven to be true, then he and that damn woman will have a big surprise! I’m done with it. Tomorrow’s the day!!!!!!!” said Talitt, almost screaming.
“Okay, I’ll help you, don’t worry. We’ll catch them!” said Kevin, trying to pretend he wasn’t happy for having a chance to separate Harry and Talitt.

 

[/b]http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8g3gt1SCgA
 The next day, Talitt was very lovely with Harry –just to test him—and he was lovely as well.

Perhaps: Talitt was very flirtatious with Harry, or even Talitt was lovey-dovey with Harry.

But, just as she suspected, instead of going to work earlier, as he told her, he went straight to Jenny’s house.


 Accompanied by Kevin, she followed him, and Kevin managed to quietly open the door, since he had already done that many times. Talitt swiftly headed for Jenny’s room, and saw the two of them kissing. She started shouting, crying and minutes later, she threw everything she could throw at Harry and Jenny.


“YOU WON’T COME BACK TO OUR HOUSE. YOU TRAITOR!!!!! I’LL KILL YOU AND THAT UGLY WOMAN YOU WERE HAVING A ROMANCE WITH! YOU WILL NOT SEE THE CHILDREN EVER AGAIN, I SWEAR!”

Again, affair might sound better than romance.

screamed Talitt, before running back to her house, together with Kevin.

 Angry, Talitt got home and locked the front door, while telling the children to remain at their room.

...While telling the children to remain in their room.

She was really devastated –no one had ever seen her like that. She had lost fate in humanity forever.

She had lost faith in humanity forever.


When would she suspect her husband was betraying her with one of her friends? Why did all of that happen? Was putting an end to her own life the key of freeing herself from all that pain? Questions like that started popping on her head, but she could not answer any of them. She was always such a good wife, caring about the house, the children—but maybe she had not cared enough about her relationship with her husband. But was that a reason for him to go and have relations with another woman—not any woman, but one of the family’s closest friend?

...but one of the family's closest friendS?


Suddenly, all her sadness had turned into hatred. She could no longer feel sorry for what happened—she had to do something to make up for Harry’s betrayal. In an impulse, she picked up the family’s gun, and calmly headed to Jenny’s house. They had this gun because some people warned them that sometimes, there’s a lot of violence, and a lot of people end up being killed.

“What are you doing? Have you gone mad?” asked Kevin, with a tone that showed he was very worried about her.
“You have two options: either you go with me, or you stay watching the show from here. Choose.” replied Talitt, showing that she was completely out of her right mind.
“I’ll go with you.” replied Kevin, without thinking twice.

Kevin opened the door of Jenny’s house once again, and this time, they spotted Jenny laughing, while Harry was taking a shower.

“There you are, my friend. So, how was it? Kissing Harry for the last time? I hope you enjoyed it, because you’re not kissing anyone from now on.” said Talitt, while holding the gun and pointing it towards Jenny.
“What? Are you mad? Idiot! As if killing me would bring your husband back to you. He’ll find other women—women much better than you. You live to work and to take care of your family, but you don’t give any attention to the man who you claim to love more than anything? That’s ridiculous. I understand exactly why he came to me that night, asking if he could speak about his problems…” replied Jenny, trying to provoke Talitt even more.
“That’s enough. I actually never liked you. I always felt that smell of a dog who wants to steal things from the others.

Felt that smell? Maybe: I always got that a feeling of a thieving mutt from you.

Bye-bye! We’ll see each other in Hell, someday.” said Talitt, while laughing of how frightened Jenny was.

...while laughing at how frightened Jenny was.

Seconds after she stopped laughing, no voice was heard for a long time. Only the noise of a shoot—and then three more shoots.

... Shot- and then three more shots.

Jenny’s body remained in that room, unable to move for all eternity. Talitt left Jenny’s house laughing, feeling great for being able to finally get revenge for the pain that woman had brought her. Killing Jenny gave her a feeling of being happy once again.



 

Its about time you wrote a new story xD

Dang. That is awesome! Great emotions. Nice work, Lu xun! :)

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