I really need some advise.

[Aqua7KH 5,395]

As you guys know already, my mom, the person who I loved the most died in November right after Thanksgiving. She wasn't my biological mom, as she was my grandma, she took care of me since I was born and I loved her so much I wanted to call her mom. And therefore I did. She died, and with her death I never felt so damn alone in my life. Now that she's gone, I had to move to a different state and away from her and my grandfather, who I love deeply also. I now live with my biological father, and I never have lived with him before. He's a really good dad, and my step-mom and step sisters are awesome also. It's just they they don't get me, and I'm so frustrated with everything I feel like I want to burst into tears. I have a best friend named April, and she's someone who I care so deeply and I'm desperate to keep our connection. We have, as we talk every day and roleplay, but my parents now just don't understand what's so important about the computer? And it's getting me so touchy and frustrated. I go on the computer mostly about 5-8 hours a day, depending on what I'm doing that day, and to me that's perfectly fine. With my new bedtime, the time I have on the computer is even more limited. My dad feels like I'm anti-social, and that I am not active that much, and it's just really, really getting me frustrated. And now, with all these feelings I've started to not tell anyone. Ever since 8th grade since I met April, I talked to her about everything, and my problems. And she gave me advise and sudjestions of what I should do. My mom and dad hasn't had a best friend like that in their childhood, and I feel like I should detach myself from her, because apparently "She's too close to me". My parents didn't say that, but it's just the vibe I get from that, and it's so stupid! I've been lying to her lately, refraining from telling her anything, keeping things to myself, and I'm just so angry at myself for this. And I wonder if it's something in my head, or if it's actually something that's going on. I want my parents to understand why the computer is so important to me, and stop prying at me. I really don't like my new school, and I just want life to be the way it was before. It's not fair. I've switched schools 7 times in my life, and I didn't give a shit because I never had friends and I was bullied all the time. Finally I was going to a school I love, and I have all these wonderful friends and teachers. I finally have a damn good life and the person who I held so highly in my heart died. The last memory I have of her was watching the paramedics take her away, unable to talk and sputtering on her own black gunk at 5:30 in the morning. Shouldn't her death be enough? Why did everything else so important to me was taken away also? When my parents want me to do something with them, I usually do whatever it is they ask. I have perfect grades as always, and I've been outside with my new friends. Every weekend I ask if we can go out somewhere, and we do. I don't know why they keep asking me to get off of the computer. I feel so anti-social but I'm not! Why can't they just accept the fact that I don't do stuff like other kids do? My dad said he wants me to have a life. Why can't he realize and accept that I do have a life?

[OthersiderME 614]

Just remember that you're not alone and only you can say if you have a life or not.  The others, well, it's just how they see you.  I may not be the best advice giver, but I do know how it feels to have different values from your parents.  Hang in there.

[Aqua7KH 5,395]

Just remember that you're not alone and only you can say if you have a life or not.  The others, well, it's just how they see you.  I may not be the best advice giver, but I do know how it feels to have different values from your parents.  Hang in there.

I am just so frustrated. When I lived with my grandparents, I never had to deal with any of this....

[keybladeknight 42]

As you guys know already, my mom, the person who I loved the most died in November right after Thanksgiving. She wasn't my biological mom, as she was my grandma, she took care of me since I was born and I loved her so much I wanted to call her mom. And therefore I did. She died, and with her death I never felt so damn alone in my life. Now that she's gone, I had to move to a different state and away from her and my grandfather, who I love deeply also. I now live with my biological father, and I never have lived with him before. He's a really good dad, and my step-mom and step sisters are awesome also. It's just they they don't get me, and I'm so frustrated with everything I feel like I want to burst into tears. I have a best friend named April, and she's someone who I care so deeply and I'm desperate to keep our connection. We have, as we talk every day and roleplay, but my parents now just don't understand what's so important about the computer? And it's getting me so touchy and frustrated. I go on the computer mostly about 5-8 hours a day, depending on what I'm doing that day, and to me that's perfectly fine. With my new bedtime, the time I have on the computer is even more limited. My dad feels like I'm anti-social, and that I am not active that much, and it's just really, really getting me frustrated. And now, with all these feelings I've started to not tell anyone. Ever since 8th grade since I met April, I talked to her about everything, and my problems. And she gave me advise and sudjestions of what I should do. My mom and dad hasn't had a best friend like that in their childhood, and I feel like I should detach myself from her, because apparently "She's too close to me". My parents didn't say that, but it's just the vibe I get from that, and it's so stupid! I've been lying to her lately, refraining from telling her anything, keeping things to myself, and I'm just so angry at myself for this. And I wonder if it's something in my head, or if it's actually something that's going on. I want my parents to understand why the computer is so important to me, and stop prying at me. I really don't like my new school, and I just want life to be the way it was before. It's not fair. I've switched schools 7 times in my life, and I didn't give a shit because I never had friends and I was bullied all the time. Finally I was going to a school I love, and I have all these wonderful friends and teachers. I finally have a damn good life and the person who I held so highly in my heart died. The last memory I have of her was watching the paramedics take her away, unable to talk and sputtering on her own black gunk at 5:30 in the morning. Shouldn't her death be enough? Why did everything else so important to me was taken away also? When my parents want me to do something with them, I usually do whatever it is they ask. I have perfect grades as always, and I've been outside with my new friends. Every weekend I ask if we can go out somewhere, and we do. I don't know why they keep asking me to get off of the computer. I feel so anti-social but I'm not! Why can't they just accept the fact that I don't do stuff like other kids do? My dad said he wants me to have a life. Why can't he realize and accept that I do have a life?

i'm so sorry that this happened to you, i know how hard it is to lose someone you love and harder to accept it

[griann 59]

I'm really sorry about everything that happened to you. I didn't lose someone important to me but my values differ from my parents' and one of my sister's values. The only one who really understands me, is my other sister who lives in Hamburg. If I wouldn't have her I'm sure that I wouldn't be alive anymore.

You need someone you can talk to no matter what it is and most importantly someone who truly understands you. Other than that I can only agree with what's been said before, hang in there.

[Aqua7KH 5,395]

I'm really sorry about everything that happened to you. I didn't lose someone important to me but my values differ from my parents' and one of my sister's values. The only one who really understands me, is my other sister who lives in Hamburg. If I wouldn't have her I'm sure that I wouldn't be alive anymore.

You need someone you can talk to no matter what it is and most importantly someone who truly understands you. Other than that I can only agree with what's been said before, hang in there.

I've been talking to a therapist now, and it's great and whatever. It's just that these problems won't stop. And I'm always the one who really has to try hard, and I do but the problems never go away. April is the person who understands me, and I am so close to her she's a sister to me. But lately I've been having to keep from her. It's not fair. 

[Elrandir 783]

I'm almost the same as you, I lost my grandmother 2 months ago.When I was younger, I spent hours on my computer, not going to parties and things the other boys and girls did.With time I explained to my parents my points of view and that I was (And still am) different from other people. Most people my age go to nasty places, drinking and doing stupid things while I like to read, listen to music and other simple things.My advice, which may not be that good, is, tell your parents you want to talk and explain to them how you feel.

I did that and with the passing of time, my parents understood that I was different and now I have a good relationship with them. 

Edited March 29, 2013 by Elrandir

[Javelin434 3,164]

Have you tried considering telling your parents that being on the computer is the only way of staying connected with your true friend? Telling them about your viewpoint about this will also help. Also, good work on seeking professional help before things get out of hand. Maybe that therapist can tell your parents how you feel, since they'll take a professional a lot more seriously than listening to their own relative. But that's my opinion

[Jason1 105]

I'm so sorry to hear about such a loss.  I definitely know how you feel about not being understood.  Just like what Elrandir said, I don't care about going out looking for stupid things to do, and sometimes people won't understand that. 

 

I definitely agree with the two posts above me.  Communication is key, because every person has their own unique perspective of things.  I also understand that things aren't that simple, but it's important not to forget about it.  Earlier generations didn't have all of the resources that the internet brings, and so there're still people who don't understand it.  I advise you to let them know how you feel.  You could also try writing things down first, to help you organize your thoughts, and also help find the right words to say.  

 

I know it may not seem like it now, but don't worry...things are going to get better.  They always do.  So don't lose hope 

Edited March 29, 2013 by Jason1

[Mystics Apprentice 2,397]

I'm sorry to hear that things are going rough for you.  Your father is probably concerned that you're not getting out there and isolating yourself by being on the computer, which, likely, he thinks he's remedying by telling you to get off.  While I do think that some problems can come from having all connections and socialization online (speaking from experience) later down the road, I do hear where you're coming from.  I would definitely not lose that close connection that you have with your friend, April, because good, true friends like that are few and far between.

 

What I'd do in your position is try having a talk with my dad, perhaps explain your concerns and why you're connected to your computer as you are.  That way he can get a better view on why you're doing it, and perhaps you can have your questions answered on whether he's genuinely wishing your friendship with April to be disconnected.  It's not always as easy as all that, I know, but sometimes talking things through is the only way to move forward.

 

Good luck.