So I have an new idea for a series. I've given this some thought and I really think we have some fun with this. I'm not really doing anything relevant with 5 Q's at the moment anyway, and until I get the extra stuff for that series done and can continue putting out new content for it, I might as well start something new, right?

 

Well, let's see where this takes us...

 

-- EPISODE 1: Fast Track To Failure

 

Hello, KH13. My name is Firaga Sensei. And say hello to my three friends, Sora, Riku, and Kairi.

 

Sora: Hi. 

 

Kairi: Hello. 

 

Riku: Hey.

 

Today is a great day for these three friends; they're going to embark on a great adventure, one that will be full of action, adventure... and unicorns.

 

Sora: Wait, what?

 

Well, that depends, actuallly, I mean, personally, I don't think unicorns would fit into this story. I'd rather see something like dragons or elves or even a giant marshmallow filled with cream chee--

 

Riku: Hey! What are you talking about?!

 

Wait, you guys can hear me?

 

Kairi: Of course we can hear you!

 

Hmm. That was quick. I thought I had the fourth wall reinforced... should have used steel instead of pillows, I guess.

 

Sora: Who are you exactly? We've never seen you before.

 

What do you mean you've never seen me?? We do 5 Questions togeth-- oh wait. I forgot about the memory wipe. Better just keep that to myself for now... probably shouldn't reveal anything else to them either.

 

Kairi: Memory what?

 

Riku: Alright, I need answers. Just what is going on?

 

Okay, okay, I'm going to level with you guys. You're about to be subjected to your greatest adventure yet, and I'm the guy that's going to narrate it all.

 

Sora: You're a narrator?

 

No shit, Sherlock, I just said that. (Sigh) Sharp as a tack, you are.

 

Riku: How come we need a narrator?

 

Because much like your lives in general, this adventure is going to be controlled by people you don't even know.

 

Kairi: Our lives are being controlled?

 

Sorta. Technically, you guys don't even exist.

 

All: WHAT?!

 

Sora: Okay, now you're just trying to mess with our minds!

 

Too late for that. I'm already in your mind.

 

Sora: What! No, you're not! (closes eyes, takes breath) I'll be safe here. He's not coming inside here...

 

(in Sora's mind) I'm in ya head, bitch!

 

Sora: AH! (eyes snap open)

 

Okay, enough formalities. I think you chuckleheads get the main jist of this now.

 

Sora: Well, uh, I guess...

 

Riku: Sora, you can't be seriously going along with this.

 

Kairi: I don't think we have a choice, Riku. We might as well.

 

Riku: You too, Kairi?

 

Sora: Let's just see what happens. It might be fun, who knows.

 

Riku: (sigh) ... fine. I'll play along. But if things get weird, I'll have something to say about it.

 

We'll see if you'll be able to say anything at all...

 

Riku: What?

 

TURTLES, now, the first thing we should get out of the way is the setting. Right now... there is no setting. You guys are basically just sitting in a big black room at the moment.

 

Sora: No, we're not. We're on our home world, Destiny Isl--

 

(snaps fingers, SRK are now in the big black room)

 

Sora: --or, not. Nevermind...

 

Now then, let's put you guys in a more "exciting" setting.

 

Kairi: I don't think I'm gonna like this...

 

Riku: Let me guess, it's gonna be something stupid.

 

Ooh, I know! How about the magical land of Agrabah?

 

Riku: Oh, that's not bad.

 

Sora: Alright! Now I can introduce Riku and Kairi to Aladdin!

 

ExceptI'mputtingyouguysinthemiddleofthedesert.

 

All: What?!

 

SHAPLABLOOEY! (snaps fingers, teleports the three to Agrabah)

 

(SRK stand 50 feet above the desert of Agrabah)

 

Let's hope they have something soft to land on... ooh, I know! ... Nothing.

 

ALL: WHAT THE HE--

 

(They all fall to the ground)

 

All: --EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLL!

 

(SPLAT!)

 

Sora: Ow.

 

Whoops, I guess nothing was a bad choice.

 

Riku: Oh really now?! (stands up and straightens back)

 

Kairi: How much more of this do we have to take? (brushes sand off) It's only been five minutes and we've already been launched into the middle of nowhere.

 

Riku: See, this is why we should have backed out.

 

Sora: Whattaya mean? You agreed to this too.

 

Riku: I'm only agreed so I can make sure you two idiots don't get killed.

 

Kairi: Hey, we're not idiots!

 

Riku: Well, I don't know-- your track records speak for themselves.

 

(Watching this all unfold, not amused) Oh God... (sigh)

 

Sora: You're the one who turned evil, Riku!

 

Riku: I did it to save Kairi!

 

Kairi: And what a glorious job you did. By the way, if you can't tell, I'm being saracastic.

 

Riku: Oh, you can show emotions? That's a first.

 

Kairi: (Gasp) Hey!

 

(All three kids argue with each other)

 

... This is taking too long... SILENCE!!

 

(thunder crackle)

 

All: (stops arguing) ... 

 

Alright, maggots, listen up. We're burning daylight. Now then, KH13, this the part where you chip in and help with the story. I'm giving you three choices onto what these three are going to do next. Here they are:

 

Are they going to --

 

A} continue arguing like little bitches, leading to a hilarious duel,

 

B} go to Agrabah by me transporting them again (wink, wink) 

 

C} A random Heartless/random creature appears and SRK have to fight it.

 

Leave your choices below and we'll see what the outcome will be in one week's time.

 

Sora: Wait, what's the wink, wink thing for?

 

Riku: Are... are you coming onto us?

 

Kairi: Aren't you, like, 40, or something, cuz that's kinda weird...

 

.... I'm gonna enjoy torturing these numbskulls.

 

All: Huh?

 

BANANAS! VOTE NOW!

 

(throws down smoke bomb, dissapears)

 

-- END --

 

Alright, so there's that. I, uh, don't really have anything new to add, so just remember to vote for the next outcome. Allons-y.

Edited August 22, 201312 yr by Firaga Sensei

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You changed your avvy. Da eff is thiiiiis? *explodes*

NOWS NOT THE PLACE TO DISCUSS THIS, TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS IN STATUS.

You should have Sora, Riku, and Kairi being chased by the Walrider from Outlast inside the Cave of Wonders and try to kill it with Kairi's rainbow attack.

Nuts!  I can't think of anything!

Hey guys. Sorry for the late, late update, I was busy. But now I promise you that today's episode is going to be as wacky as the others. Now then, let's get to the first ever Grab Bag episode of the Bullshit Chronicles

 

-- EPISODE 6: Cave Of Blunders

 

And so there they were, in the mystic Cave Of Wonders...

 

Donald: Why is Sora acting like a fool?!

 

Sora: WOW THIS CAVE IS SO BIG! HAHAHAHA! (Jumps around like a goof)

 

Uh, I might have given him a cookie before the episode started... and by that I mean a bunch of cookies.

 

Riku: Oh, screw you man!

 

Heh...

 

Sora: (Hops around and makes noises like Daffy Duck)

 

Donald: Hey I take offense to that!

 

Goofy: Why, Donald? You're not a black duck.

 

Donald: I meant ducks in general!

 

Goofy: Oh....

 

Donald: Wait a minute... why did you think I meant that? You got something against black ducks?

 

Goofy: What?! No! Just because I sound like a redneck doesn't mean I'm racist like one!

 

Kairi: Can we move on? This is getting stupider by the moment.

 

Riku: Ya think?

 

Sora: MONKEYS! HAHAHA! (Runs around the group)

 

Riku: .... I have nothing to say.

 

???: (evil laughter)

 

Riku: What the hell? (tries to find source of laughter)

 

Sora: (still running around like a doofus, is stopped by Riku grabbing his hood, but still runs in place in the air)

 

(??? reveals himself to be Jafar, floating down to the ground)

 

Sora: (stops running and gasps) Jafar! Iknewit! Iknewit, Iknewit, Iknewit! Iknewthatitwashim, therewasnootherpersonitcouldbebuthim, itjusthadtobehim!

 

Riku: Sora, calm your ass!

 

Sora: ButRiku, IknewitwasJafar! (hops up and down slightly and points at Jafar) Iwasthefirsttosaythatitwashim! Dontyouremember, whenwewereinAgrabahandIsaidthatJafarmusthavebeenbehindthisandkidnappedAladdinandJasmineand--

 

Donald: THUNDAGA! (shocks Sora)

 

Sora: (stops talking and stands singed black, coughs up a little smoke) Okay... I'm spent.

 

Donald: Good.

 

Jafar: Excuse me, I was just about to go on a monolouge.

 

Goofy: Well, go ahead now. We're listenin'.

 

Jafar: Ah yes, very good (coughs into hand) Ah, yes, the Keyblade brats and their lackeys! I knew you would be foolish enough to come here!

 

Sora: (shakes off soot and gets serious) What did you do with Aladdin and Jasmine?!

 

Jafar: Oh, you'll see the rat and the princess soon enough... in the next world! (laughs)

 

(Everybody glares at Jafar and summons their weapons)

 

Sora: You're going down Jafar!

 

Jafar: Oh so you want to fight me? Well Im afraid you cannot. However, I will leave you to find your friends. After all... you're all going to fall to me and my allies in the near future anyway... so I might as well let you live a little longer so that you may enjoy your last moments.

 

Sora: Wait, really?

 

Riku: What are you planning Jafar?

 

Jafar: In time, young ones. In time. Until then, go ahead and dive further into the Cave... if you dare... (evilly laughs as he floats up and flies deeper in the Cave)

 

(As he flies away, the end of the room's door opens, and everybody goes through, revealing that the next room is filled witha  giant loop to loop looking slide that covers the entire room, with the front being the entrance)

 

Sora: What is this?

 

Jafar: (appears again) This is your first challenge in the CoW. I and my allies have created these challenges ourselves. You'll be lucky enough to survive. (laughs)

 

Sora: But its just a slide.

 

Riku: Yeah, it doesn't look that dangerous.

 

Jafar: Oh you will see... now here are the rules.

 

(Big black bar appears and explains the rules)

 

(sound of wall being broken) (random guy yells: FOURTH WALL!)

 

Sora: Oh great, just like the games.

 

Black Bar: Slide down the formidable Slide Of Wonders! Collect coins along the way! Pass the course by having 50 coins at the end of the slide! And watch out for Jafar! If he gets you, you'll loose all your coins!

 

Riku: Wait, what's with that last part?

 

Jafar: (grins) Good luck, little rats.

 

Donald: I guess we gotta do what we gotta do.

 

Goofy: Yeah. We've done worst stuff anyway.

 

Sora: Well, I don't know if we done anything that bad before...

 

Donald: Remember Atlantica?

Sora: That wasnt that bad...

 

Donald: I mean the second time.

 

Sora: Oh yeah, that sucked chode, never mind.

 

Jafar: Alright everybody! On your marks! Get set! Go!

 

(Everybody goes on their respective slides and goes off, going on loopy loops and all kinds of crazy turns. Jafar tries to mess with some of them, but they manage to smack him away and keep their coins as they go. Riku, Donald and Goofy finish first with exactly 50 coins in hand, meanwhile Sora and Kairi are about to finish; their slides go side by side with anohter, they lock hands and blush, and are too bust yo notice Jafar coming behind them and zapping them with his cane, causing them to lose all their coins and finishing the slide with zero coins in total.)

 

Sora: Fudge!

 

Kairi: Shiz!

 

Riku: Man you guys can't curse for beans. How (bleep bleep bleep), you (bleep bleep).

 

Donald: What a potty mouth.

 

Goofy: Coming from you?

 

Donald: Wak! Well (bleep) you, you (bleep)ing (bleep)

 

Jafar: Enough with the bleeps! Now then, since Sora and the useless princess--

 

Kairi: Aw...

 

Jafar: Will be incarcarated! Ha ha! (Zaps Sora and Kairi, teleports them into a cage hanging at the top of the ceiling)

 

Sora: Dang! It's a physic force field! (bangs on wall)

 

Kairi: Guys, get us out of here!

 

Riku: Don't worry, we will!

 

Jafar: Oh will you?! (transforms into giant snake) You don't have a ssssliver of a chance! HAHAHAHA!

 

Donald: Aw, crap baskets.

 

(Riku, Donald, and Goofy summon weapons)

Riku: Well, this is an odd pairing, isn't it?

 

Goofy: Aw come on, we're all friends. We can work together.

 

Donald: I don't know. I think pretty boy over here might crack under the pressure.

 

Riku: Hey! I've fought things that could cook you for dinner, white meat!

 

Donald: Oh you wanna bet?!

 

Riku: F**k yeah I do!

 

(Riku and Donald glare at one another and have a "staring contest of death" (shooting lasers into each others eyes))

 

Goofy: (facepalms) We're doomed...

 

Uh oh. Egos clash as the SDG trio becomes RDG in this epic fight against Snake Form Jafar! Will Riku and Donald be able to get along and save Sora and Kairi? Will Goofy be able to handle these two for any much longer?

 

Goofy: I'm not gonna lie, I'm getting kinda pissed!

 

Sora and Kairi: GET US OUT OF HERE!

 

Jafar: I'm going to eat you all up and spit you out!

 

Riku and Donald: (continues laser eye thingamajig)

 

Well... this oughta be interesting. Now then, with the choices:

 

A} RDG get their shit together and fight Jafar in great unison

 

B} Riku and Donald continue to bicker and it's up to Goofy to fight Jafar by himself

 

C} Another ally appears and saves the day

 

Alright, pussywillows, make sure to vote! Ciao, Auf Wiedersehen, and GET THE F**K OUT! ... Nah, just kidding. lol Now if you'll excuse me... IMMA FIRING MAH LAZA! (fires laza at the ground, propels myself into the air and flies off)

 

Okay, guys, another episode in the bag. Hint hint, by the way, for people who want to choose C... (whispers) This would be a good time to request a cameo from a non-KH character... Just Saiyan...

Edited October 7, 201312 yr by Firaga Sensei

I want to see Goofy fight Jafar alone........But i would rather have someone new take the stage.

 

C) BRING OUT LIGHTNING FROM FF XIII TO COME AND SAVE RDG PLEASE!!! IT WOULD BE UNEXPECTED SINCE SHE HASNT APPEARED IN ANY KH GAMES YET!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to see Goofy fight Jafar alone........But i would rather have someone new take the stage.

 

C) BRING OUT LIGHTNING FROM FF XIII TO COME AND SAVE RDG PLEASE!!! IT WOULD BE UNEXPECTED SINCE SHE HASNT APPEARED IN ANY KH GAMES YET!!!!!!!!!!!

This and bring Noctis too,it could be interesting for FF pairings...

Actually, going with A.  Let Riku and Donald get over it and get things done (in a funny way).

Edited September 29, 201312 yr by Ultimus Grid

B} Riku and Donald continue to bicker and it's up to Goofy to fight Jafar by himself

 

Much funnier than any Saiyan.

I want B.

Hello, friends. Sorry for the late, late, LATE update. I think I should start updating this series either on Fridays or the weekend because I really can't seem to get it done during the week right now. Anyways, enjoy today's latest installment.

 

-- EPISODE 7: Chaotic Canine

 

When we last left our heroes...

 

Riku and Donald: (yelling and arguing loudly)

 

Goofy: (stands and shakes knees) ... (thinking) Garwsh. I guess its all up to me now...

 

Jafar: BAHAHAHA! This is hilarioussss! The weakessst member of the Keyblade brat'sss little sssquad is going to fight me alone?! BAHAHAHA!

 

Goofy: Aw man...

 

Sora: Goofy!

 

(Goofy looks to Sora and Kairi in their cages)

 

Sora: C'mon Goofy! You can do it!

 

Kairi: We believe in you!

 

Goofy: (Goofy blinks then stares at the ground, looks back at Riku and Donald and then closes his eyes again) ... (opens) Alright then. I'm going in! (raises shield)

 

Sora and Kairi: (smile)

 

Jafar: Oh, what's this? The fool is trying to be brave? Heh, heh... well then, I hope you've written your will, dog!

 

Goofy: Just you wait! (shakes fist) Imma gonna make a pair of boots outta ya, Jafar! Ayuck! CHARGE! (runs towards Jafar)

 

(Jafar swipes at Goofy with his tail, knocking him against the wall)

 

Goofy: Oof! (drops shield, runs head) 

 

Sora: Goofy! Look out!

 

Goofy: (sees Jafar looking to bite him, moves out of the way as Jafar hits his face) 

 

Jafar: Agh! 

 

Goofy: Oh boy, now's my chance! (jumps on Jafar's neck and starts bashing his neck with his shield)

 

Jafar: Gah! You little! (swings neck around with Goofy hanging on)

 

Goofy: WHOA!

 

(Jafar swings his neck in a circle while Goofy continues to yell and hold on until he finally throws him up the air)

 

Goofy: YAAAAAAAAAAAA-HOOHOOHOOHOOHOO-HOOEEEEEY!

 

(Goofy falls back down and into a open Jafar's mouth, he quickly stretches his long body out to hold himself inside the ridges of Jafar's big snake lips)

 

Jafar: Huh?! Grr! (Tries to shake Goofy off)

 

Goofy: (holds on for dear life) Whoaoaoaoaoaoaoh!

 

Jafar: (growls and grabs Goofy with his tounge)

 

Goofy: ... (gulps)

 

(Jafar eats Goofy)

 

Sora and Kairi: GOOFY!

 

Sora: (gribs iron bars) No... Goofy...

 

Kairi: (about to cry) ... Riku! Donald! Please stop fighting and help us!! 

 

And in the midst of Riku's and Donald's argument...

 

Riku: Yeah, well you sound worse than Arnold Swartzanegger in Judge Dredd!

 

Donald: Yeah, well, you-- wait, what? You think Swarzanegger was in Judge Dredd? No that was Sylvester Stallone.

 

Riku: Oh... well, isn't he that guy from the West Wing?

 

Donald: That's Arnold Vinick.

 

Riku: What about that guy who plays the sax?

 

Donald: Arnold Lee.

 

Riku: What about the golfer and the drink?

 

Donald: Arnold Palmer.

 

Riku: What about the guy from The Mummy?

 

Donald: Oh, uh... l-let's see, that was uh... Arnold, uh, something...

 

Riku: Oh, sorry. (raises card) It was Brendan Fraser, we were looking for Brendan Fraser.

 

Donald: Oh, well thanks for at least having me on the show (shakes Riku's hand), I really enjoy it and (double take) oh, WAIT A MINUTE!

 

Sora: GUUUUUUUYS!

 

Riku and Donald: (look at Sora)

 

Sora: GODDAMMIT, WOULD YOU TWO PULL YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES AND FIGHT THE GODDAMN SNAKE AND GET US OUT OF HERE???!!!

 

(everybody goes silent...)

 

....

 

... okay then...

 

Sora: (breathes in and out)

 

Kairi: ...... I think I peed a little...

 

Riku: (snaps out of it) Okay, Donald, Sora's right. We need to work together.

 

Donald: Hmm... well... in full honesty, I guess I got a little hot headed there...

 

Riku: Yeah... I kinda let my mouth run a little too far as well...

 

Donald: Aw, put 'er there, pal. (Sticks hand out)

 

Riku: Heh. Alright. (shakes Donald's hand)

 

Riku: Okay, let's do this! (summons Way To The Dawn)

 

Donald: Yeah! (summons staff)

 

Jafar: (lookst at Riku and Donald) Hmm, now this will be a little more of a challenge...

 

(Riku and Donald charge at Jafar, dodging whips from his tail)

 

Donald: Blizzaga! (shoots spell at Jafar) 

 

Jafar: Gah! (blinded by blast)

 

Riku: Now's my chance! (jumps in the air and shoots a Dark Firaga into Jafar's mouth, seriously damaging him)

 

Jafar: (falls to the ground)

 

Riku and Donald: Victory! (raise weapons)

 

Jafar: (chuckles and gets up again)

 

Riku and Donald: ... Crap baskets.

 

Jafar: You really think you can vaquisssh me? You're even more pathetic than that dog I had for lunch...

 

Donald: That dog has a name! It's Goofy!

 

Jafar: (laughs) Oh whatever... you know what they say: it all goes down the same... (leers over Donald and Riku, looks to gobble them up)

 

Riku and Donald: (tense)

 

Sora and Kairi: (gasp)

 

Jafar: (stops) ...

 

Everyone: ...

 

Jafar: (stomachs starts to rumble as he looks down as realizes something is trying to come back up) Agh.... (looks like he's about to vomit) ... BLARG! (stomach is ripped through as Goofy spills out from his guts, covered with stomach slime)

 

Everyone: GOOFY!

 

What a twist!

 

Everyone: NO! NONE OF THAT! SHAME ON YOU!

 

Aw...

 

Goofy: Bleck! Y'know, that was really gross...

 

Donald: Goofy! I'd hug ya, but... uh...

 

Goofy: Yeah, I know... (shakes off goop) Nevermind that, though. Did you guys win?Riku: Does that answer your question? (looks at giant snake Jafar corpse with guts spilling out on the ground)

 

Goofy: Uh... yeah, I guess it does.

 

Riku: Alright, now to free Sora and Kairi. (Jumps to cages and cuts the chain)

 

Donald: Magnega! (pulls cage over to ground)

 

Riku: (unlocks cage keyhole with Keyblade)

 

Sora: Whoo. Thank goodness for that.

 

Kairi: Yeah. I'm so glad that Goofy is still alive.

 

Goofy: Aw, ayuck. (chuckles)

 

Riku: But Sora, what was all that about you flipping out?

 

Donald: Yeah...

 

Sora: Well, uh, gee... (scratches head) I had to get you two to work together somehow.

 

Riku and Donald: (look puzzled, then nod)

 

Sora: Alright gang, let's move out! Aladdin and Jasmine are still in here!

 

Everyone: Right!

 

And so our heroes set off once more to look for their friends. Meanwhile, Jafar...

 

Jafar: ... (more guys spill out as his body fades out and his heart flies up into the air)

 

Yeah... so, anyways, viewers, what kind of wacky stuff will Sora and the gang do next episode? Well--

 

(Alarm sounds on a clock)

 

Oh! You hear that? That's the sound of the Cameo Clock! It's time to pick a character to cameo in the series for the first time! (since we haven't had the chance for that to actually happen in the series yet...) Here are your choices:

 

A} Black Star (from Soul Eater)

 

B} Link (from The Legend Of Zelda)

 

C} Ryu (from Street Fighter)

 

Okay then, people, get to choosing! I'm out! (spreads wings and fly aways into the sunset)

 

And there you have it. I'm real excited for the next episode, cuz I think once we start doing cameos, the series will get alot more interesting.

Edited October 7, 201312 yr by Firaga Sensei

Hello, friends. Sorry for the late, late, LATE update. I think I should start updating this series either on Fridays or the weekend because I really can't seem to get it done during the week right now. Anyways, enjoy today's latest installment.  -- EPISODE 7: Chaotic Canine When we last left our heroes... Riku and Donald: (yelling and arguing loudly) Goofy: (stands and shakes knees) ... (thinking) Garwsh. I guess its all up to me now... Jafar: BAHAHAHA! This is hilarioussss! The weakessst member of the Keyblade brat'sss little sssquad is going to fight me alone?! BAHAHAHA! Goofy: Aw man... Sora: Goofy! (Goofy looks to Sora and Kairi in their cages) Sora: C'mon Goofy! You can do it! Kairi: We believe in you! Goofy: (Goofy blinks then stares at the ground, looks back at Riku and Donald and then closes his eyes again) ... (opens) Alright then. I'm going in! (raises shield) Sora and Kairi: (smile) Jafar: Oh, what's this? The fool is trying to be brave? Heh, heh... well then, I hope you've written your will, dog! Goofy: Just you wait! (shakes fist) Imma gonna make a pair of boots outta ya, Jafar! Ayuck! CHARGE! (runs towards Jafar) (Jafar swipes at Goofy with his tail, knocking him against the wall) Goofy: Oof! (drops shield, runs head)  Sora: Goofy! Look out! Goofy: (sees Jafar looking to bite him, moves out of the way as Jafar hits his face)  Jafar: Agh!  Goofy: Oh boy, now's my chance! (jumps on Jafar's neck and starts bashing his neck with his shield) Jafar: Gah! You little! (swings neck around with Goofy hanging on) Goofy: WHOA! (Jafar swings his neck in a circle while Goofy continues to yell and hold on until he finally throws him up the air) Goofy: YAAAAAAAAAAAA-HOOHOOHOOHOOHOO-HOOEEEEEY! (Goofy falls back down and into a open Jafar's mouth, he quickly stretches his long body out to hold himself inside the ridges of Jafar's big snake lips) Jafar: Huh?! Grr! (Tries to shake Goofy off) Goofy: (holds on for dear life) Whoaoaoaoaoaoaoh! Jafar: (growls and grabs Goofy with his tounge) Goofy: ... (gulps) (Jafar eats Goofy) Sora and Kairi: GOOFY! Sora: (gribs iron bars) No... Goofy... Kairi: (about to cry) ... Riku! Donald! Please stop fighting and help us!!  And in the midst of Riku's and Donald's argument... Riku: Yeah, well you sound worse than Arnold Swartzanegger in Judge Dredd! Donald: Yeah, well, you-- wait, what? You think Swarzanegger was in Judge Dredd? No that was Sylvester Stallone. Riku: Oh... well, isn't he that guy from the West Wing? Donald: That's Arnold Vinick. Riku: What about that guy who plays the sax? Donald: Arnold Lee. Riku: What about the golfer and the drink? Donald: Arnold Palmer. Riku: What about the guy from The Mummy? Donald: Oh, uh... l-let's see, that was uh... Arnold, uh, something... Riku: Oh, sorry. (raises card) It was Brendan Fraser, we were looking for Brendan Fraser. Donald: Oh, well thanks for at least having me on the show (shakes Riku's hand), I really enjoy it and (double take) oh, WAIT A MINUTE! Sora: GUUUUUUUYS! Riku and Donald: (look at Sora) Sora: GODDAMMIT, WOULD YOU TWO PULL YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES AND FIGHT THE GODDAMN SNAKE AND GET US OUT OF HERE???!!! (everybody goes silent...) .... ... okay then... Sora: (breathes in and out) Kairi: ...... I think I peed a little... Riku: (snaps out of it) Okay, Donald, Sora's right. We need to work together. Donald: Hmm... well... in full honesty, I guess I got a little hot headed there... Riku: Yeah... I kinda let my mouth run a little too far as well... Donald: Aw, put 'er there, pal. (Sticks hand out) Riku: Heh. Alright. (shakes Donald's hand) Riku: Okay, let's do this! (summons Way To The Dawn) Donald: Yeah! (summons staff) Jafar: (lookst at Riku and Donald) Hmm, now this will be a little more of a challenge... (Riku and Donald charge at Jafar, dodging whips from his tail) Donald: Blizzaga! (shoots spell at Jafar)  Jafar: Gah! (blinded by blast) Riku: Now's my chance! (jumps in the air and shoots a Dark Firaga into Jafar's mouth, seriously damaging him) Jafar: (falls to the ground) Riku and Donald: Victory! (raise weapons) Jafar: (chuckles and gets up again) Riku and Donald: ... Crap baskets. Jafar: You really think you can vaquisssh me? You're even more pathetic than that dog I had for lunch... Donald: That dog has a name! It's Goofy! Jafar: (laughs) Oh whatever... you know what they say: it all goes down the same... (leers over Donald and Riku, looks to gobble them up) Riku and Donald: (tense) Sora and Kairi: (gasp) Jafar: (stops) ... Everyone: ... Jafar: (stomachs starts to rumble as he looks down as realizes something is trying to come back up) Agh.... (looks like he's about to vomit) ... BLARG! (stomach is ripped through as Goofy spills out from his guts, covered with stomach slime) Everyone: GOOFY! What a twist! Everyone: NO! NONE OF THAT! SHAME ON YOU! Aw... Goofy: Bleck! Y'know, that was really gross... Donald: Goofy! I'd hug ya, but... uh... Goofy: Yeah, I know... (shakes off goop) Nevermind that, though. Did you guys win?Riku: Does that answer your question? (looks at giant snake Jafar corpse with guts spilling out on the ground) Goofy: Uh... yeah, I guess it does. Riku: Alright, now to free Sora and Kairi. (Jumps to cages and cuts the chain) Donald: Magnega! (pulls cage over to ground) Riku: (unlocks cage keyhole with Keyblade) Sora: Whoo. Thank goodness for that. Kairi: Yeah. I'm so glad that Goofy is still alive. Goofy: Aw, ayuck. (chuckles) Riku: But Sora, what was all that about you flipping out? Donald: Yeah... Sora: Well, uh, gee... (scratches head) I had to get you two to work together somehow. Riku and Donald: (look puzzled, then nod) Sora: Alright gang, let's move out! Aladdin and Jasmine are still in here! Everyone: Right! And so our heroes set off once more to look for their friends. Meanwhile, Jafar... Jafar: ... (more guys spill out as his body fades out and his heart flies up into the air) Yeah... so, anyways, viewers, what kind of wacky stuff will Sora and the gang do next episode? Well-- (Alarm sounds on a clock) Oh! You hear that? That's the sound of the Cameo Clock! It's time to pick a character to cameo in the series for the first time! (since we haven't had the chance for that to actually happen in the series yet...) Here are your choices: A} Black Star (from Soul Eater) B} Link (from The Legend Of Zelda) C} Ryu (from Street Fighter) Okay then, people, get to choosing! I'm out! (spreads wings and fly aways into the sunset) And there you have it. I'm real excited for the next episode, cuz I think once we start doing cameos, the series will get alot more interesting.

All of them are fighters... I choose Li/shot. Of course Black Star, gotta have my crew represent!

A for Black Star! 

Link....because thats the only one i know lol

I choose Link as well.

Ryu!  I want some METSU HADOOOOOKEN!!!!  (But doubt it).

A) LINK!!!!!

 

I cant wait to see Axel come and get all excited to see Black Star come in as a cameo.

Another weekend, another episode of kids with keys, animals with stuff, wizards, dark lords, and other guys messing around and causing shit to happen. Sounds like a day in the life of Mel Gibson . Remember when he was relevant? Yeah... anyways, let's get to the episode.

 

-- EPISODE 9: Keyblade Master VS Master Sword

 

(Everybody is running through the Cave)

 

Our heroes race on! The hunt for Aladdin and Jasmine goes on! Sora, Riku, Kairi, and the meat shields--

 

Donald and Goofy: Hey!

 

--are relentless to find the fallen princess and street rat! They are diligent! Aware of the dangers that are in front of them! And most importantly--

 

Sora: (trips) AH! (hits head on floor)

 

... Coordinated... well, that's another point on the "Sora Is A Dumbass" score.

 

Sora: Hey, shut it! 

 

Riku: Guys, what's that? (Riku points ahead with everybody looking in that direction)

 

Suddenly, the gang come into contact with someone knew. They look out ahead and see a man in green fighting off Heartless. His weapon, a sword and shield, are no match for the onslaught of black creatures, as only the Keyblade is capable of defeating them.

 

Riku: That guy doesn't have a chance. Only the Keyblade is capable of defeating the Heartless.

 

I just said that.

 

Kairi: That's right Riku. 

 

Sora: Yeah, good eye, buddy.

 

Okay, really? We're doing this? (sighs)

 

Sora: Come on guys we gotta help him.

 

(Sora and the gang rush over to the man, who becomes fatigued)

 

???: (gets on one knee, pants hard)

 

(Soldier Heartless tries to ram him as he weakly raises his shield)

 

Sora: Look out! (quickly moves in front of ??? and blocks the attack, and parries with a single slash, dispersing the Soldier, as the other Heartless disappear.)

 

???: (stands back up and faces Sora)

 

Sora: That was a close call there. Are you alright?

 

???: Haaaa!~ (raises sword and tries to hit Sora)

 

Sora: Whoa! (dodges and jumps back) What was that for?!

 

???: (dashes forward with sword and shield)

 

Sora: Aw nuts. Try and help a guy and what happens? He attacks you! Some people... (raises Keyblade)

 

???: (jumps over Sora and throws boomerang)

 

Sora: (ducks) Ha! U missed!

 

(boomerang turns around, comes back and *BONK* clocks Sora behind the head as it travels back to Link's hand)

 

Sora: (slurred, raises finger) I'll have the fried pickle... (falls forward)

 

???: (laughs and puts boomerang away, raising sword again) Haaa! (jumps up and attempts to drive the sword through Sora)

 

Riku: Dammit! (quickly moves and grabs Sora by the hood, dashing away with him, allowing ???'s sword to impact through the ground, and not through Sora's empty skull)

 

Kairi: Hey, that was mean!

 

That's for undermining me earlier!

 

Riku: (lands and sets Sora on the ground near Donald and Goofy) You wanna fight us?! Bring it! (glares at ???)

 

???: Hn... (pulls out a bomb and throws it at Riku)

 

(Riku deflects the bomb into the air, but it falls back down and explodes, filling the air around the gang with smoke, blinding Riku)

 

Riku: Dammit, where is he?!

 

???: Heh. (appears behind Riku and elbows him in the spine)

 

Riku: Gah! (goes flying forward, catches the ground with palm and gets his footing back, just in time to block another strike from ???)

 

(Epic blade struggle between ??? and Riku as they both glare into each others eyes)

 

(eats popcorn) Oh man, you guys have no idea how cool this is...

 

Kairi: How is this cool?! That weirdo knocked out Sora and he's attacking Riku!

 

Silly Kairi. Sora shouldn't have let himself get hit.

 

Donald: Yeah! Why didn't he dodge?! .. Huh? Huh? Anybody?

 

(crickets...)

 

Goofy: ... (bonks Donald)

 

Donald: Ow! (rubs head) Okay, I deserved that.

 

Riku: (still struggling with ???) Grr... you're a tough nut to crack... 

 

???: Haaa!~ Ze-haa!

 

Sora: (now sitting up and conciscious)... (tilts okay) Okay... I'm really confused here.

 

Riku: Uh, what did you just say?

 

???: Haa! Haaa HA!

 

Riku: Ugh, you're not making any sense!

 

Goofy: Hey, Donald, why don't you try using a spell on him so we can understand him?

 

Donald: Okay! Wait, can I do that?

 

(Goofy, Kairi, and Sora look at Donald questioningly)

 

Donald: (chuckles) Of course I do that! I am a wizard after all! (under breath) I mean, I'm not a miracle worker. Jeez... (raises staff to ???) TAKIUS TRANSLATICUS! (casts spelll on ???)

 

(ala The Miz: REALLY?!) (This sound pops up whenever one of the characters does something really lame)

 

Donald: Hey!

 

Come on, Donald, it was kinda lame.

 

Donald: No it--oh, alright, maybe a little.

 

???: Haaa--- (coughs, voice becomes that of Todd Haberkorn) Ha. I have to say, thank you for that. You can't imagine how much my throat hurts from only being about to shout gibberish all the time.

 

Riku: I bet not. Now who are you?

 

???: My name is Link. I'm looking to rescue Princess Zelda of Hyrule. Where is she?

 

Riku: Oh yeah, well, we're looking for Princess Jasmine and Aladdin of Agrabah. Where are they?

 

Link: First, you tell me where Zelda is.

 

Riku: No, you tell us where Jasmine and Aladdin are.

 

Link: No, me first.

 

Riku: No, me first!

 

Link: No, me!

 

Riku: No, me!

 

Link: Stop copying me!

 

Riku: Stop copying me!

 

Kairi: Gah, this is just ridiculous! I'll just blast the green guy with my Rainbow Runs Gun!

 

Donald: And that's supposed to make this less ridiculous?

 

Kairi: (eats Rainbow Fruit) Rainbow Runs Gun! (shoots beam of rainbows at Link)

 

RikuL (looks behind) Ah! Rainbows! (ducks)

 

Link: Rain-whaa--- (gets blasted by beam) Ah! (falls over)

 

Link: Just what the heck was that?

 

Kairi: That, my friend, is the stuff of gods. Really girly gods.

 

Link: Hmph. (stands up) You guys really are strong. I no longer underestimate you. But, I'm not giving up! You will tell me where Zelda is! I won't let Ganon win!

 

Riku: Did he just say "Ganon"? Who's Ganon?

 

Kairi: I have the feeling he has something to do with giant gross pigs.

 

(No voice, just text: EPIC FORESHADOWING)

 

Riku: Either way, bring it on! I want to see your best move!

 

Link: Fine then!

 

(Smash Ball appears)

 

Link: Oh. Perfect timing. (smiles)

 

Riku; Uh, what's that?

 

Link: (slashs Smash Ball, glows)

 

Riku: Uh, what are you doing?

 

Link: OMNISLASH! (traps Riku in a giant Triforce)

 

Riku: ... Crapbas--

 

Link: (slashes the shit out of Riku, final slash breaks Riku out of the Triforce, which also breaks and sends Riku flying against the wall, bouncingand into the air and through the roof)

 

Riku: --KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETSSSS! (flips around in the air as he flies further away and turns into a star)

 

(Everybody goes silent except for Link)

 

Sora: ..... GAME!

 

Kairi: What was that for?

 

Sora: I don't know... but it felt right...

 

Link: One down... (raises sword to Sora and gang) Four to go...

 

Oh shiznit!

 

All: No.

 

Oh, I'm sorry, who's the narrator and controller of this story.

 

Sora: Come on, Firaga, if we don't call you out on your stuff sometimes, then--

 

(pulls out gun)

 

Sora: ... Shutting up.

 

Good Sora. Now then. (clears throat) Oh shiznit! There's gonna be some major rizzle going down in this bitch!

 

Sora: Oh my God...

 

And guess what? You get to decide how that goes on! Aren't you special? 

 

What will Link do against Sora and the gang next?

A} Try to kill every last one of them

 

B} Try to fight them but ends up joining them thanks to Sora

 

C} Trys to get them all to be his posse

 

Have fun with all that, jelly beans. I'm out the window! LITERALLY! (jumps out of a window)

 

I can't wait to see what people choose for this one. That's all I have to say. Bye.

Edited October 21, 201312 yr by Firaga Sensei

Another weekend, another episode of kids with keys, animals with stuff, wizards, dark lords, and other guys messing around and causing shit to happen. Sounds like a day in the life of Mel Gibson . Remember when he was relevant? Yeah... anyways, let's get to the episode. -- EPISODE 9: Keyblade Master VS Master Sword (Everybody is running through the Cave) Our heroes race on! The hunt for Aladdin and Jasmine goes on! Sora, Riku, Kairi, and the meat shields-- Donald and Goofy: Hey! --are relentless to find the fallen princess and street rat! They are diligent! Aware of the dangers that are in front of them! And most importantly-- Sora: (trips) AH! (hits head on floor) ... Coordinated... well, that's another point on the "Sora Is A Dumbass" score. Sora: Hey, shut it!  Riku: Guys, what's that? (Riku points ahead with everybody looking in that direction) Suddenly, the gang come into contact with someone knew. They look out ahead and see a man in green fighting off Heartless. His weapon, a sword and shield, are no match for the onslaught of black creatures, as only the Keyblade is capable of defeating them. Riku: That guy doesn't have a chance. Only the Keyblade is capable of defeating the Heartless. I just said that. Kairi: That's right Riku.  Sora: Yeah, good eye, buddy. Okay, really? We're doing this? (sighs) Sora: Come on guys we gotta help him. (Sora and the gang rush over to the man, who becomes fatigued) ???: (gets on one knee, pants hard) (Soldier Heartless tries to ram him as he weakly raises his shield) Sora: Look out! (quickly moves in front of ??? and blocks the attack, and parries with a single slash, dispersing the Soldier, as the other Heartless disappear.) ???: (stands back up and faces Sora) Sora: That was a close call there. Are you alright? ???: Haaaa!~ (raises sword and tries to hit Sora) Sora: Whoa! (dodges and jumps back) What was that for?! ???: (dashes forward with sword and shield) Sora: Aw nuts. Try and help a guy and what happens? He attacks you! Some people... (raises Keyblade) ???: (jumps over Sora and throws boomerang) Sora: (ducks) Ha! U missed! (boomerang turns around, comes back and *BONK* clocks Sora behind the head as it travels back to Link's hand) Sora: (slurred, raises finger) I'll have the fried pickle... (falls forward) ???: (laughs and puts boomerang away, raising sword again) Haaa! (jumps up and attempts to drive the sword through Sora) Riku: Dammit! (quickly moves and grabs Sora by the hood, dashing away with him, allowing ???'s sword to impact through the ground, and not through Sora's empty skull) Kairi: Hey, that was mean! That's for undermining me earlier! Riku: (lands and sets Sora on the ground near Donald and Goofy) You wanna fight us?! Bring it! (glares at ???) ???: Hn... (pulls out a bomb and throws it at Riku) (Riku deflects the bomb into the air, but it falls back down and explodes, filling the air around the gang with smoke, blinding Riku) Riku: Dammit, where is he?! ???: Heh. (appears behind Riku and elbows him in the spine) Riku: Gah! (goes flying forward, catches the ground with palm and gets his footing back, just in time to block another strike from ???) (Epic blade struggle between ??? and Riku as they both glare into each others eyes) (eats popcorn) Oh man, you guys have no idea how cool this is... Kairi: How is this cool?! That weirdo knocked out Sora and he's attacking Riku! Silly Kairi. Sora should have let himself get hit. Donald: Yeah! Why didn't he dodge?! .. Huh? Huh? Anybody? (crickets...) Goofy: ... (bonks Donald) Donald: Ow! (rubs head) Okay, I deserved that. Riku: (still struggling with ???) Grr... you're a tough nut to crack...  ???: Haaa!~ Ze-haa! Sora: (now sitting up and conciscious)... (tilts okay) Okay... I'm really confused here. Riku: Uh, what did you just say? ???: Haa! Haaa HA! Riku: Ugh, you're not making any sense! Goofy: Hey, Donald, why don't you try using a spell on him so we can understand him? Donald: Okay! Wait, can I do that? (Goofy, Kairi, and Sora look at Donald questioningly) Donald: (chuckles) Of course I do that! I am a wizard after all! (under breath) I mean, I'm not a miracle worker. Jeez... (raises staff to ???) TAKIUS TRANSLATICUS! (casts spelll on ???) (ala The Miz: REALLY?!) (This sound pops up whenever one of the characters does something really lame) Donald: Hey! Come on, Donald, it was kinda lame. Donald: No it--oh, alright, maybe a little. ???: Haaa--- (coughs, voice becomes that of Todd Haberkorn) Ha. I have to say, thank you for that. You can't imagine how much my throat hurts from only being about to shout gibberish all the time. Riku: I bet not. Now who are you? ???: My name is Link. I'm looking to rescue Princess Zelda of Hyrule. Where is she? Riku: Oh yeah, well, we're looking for Princess Jasmine and Aladdin of Agrabah. Where are they? Link: First, you tell me where Zelda is. Riku: No, you tell us where Jasmine and Aladdin are. Link: No, me first. Riku: No, me first! Link: No, me! Riku: No, me! Link: Stop copying me! Riku: Stop copying me! Kairi: Gah, this is just ridiculous! I'll just blast the green guy with my Rainbow Runs Gun! Donald: And that's supposed to make this less ridiculous? Kairi: (eats Rainbow Fruit) Rainbow Runs Gun! (shoots beam of rainbows at Link) RikuL (looks behind) Ah! Rainbows! (ducks) Link: Rain-whaa--- (gets blasted by beam) Ah! (falls over) Link: Just what the heck was that? Kairi: That, my friend, is the stuff of gods. Really girly gods. Link: Hmph. (stands up) You guys really are strong. I no longer underestimate you. But, I'm not giving up! You will tell me where Zelda is! I won't let Ganon win! Riku: Did he just say "Ganon"? Who's Ganon? Kairi: I have the feeling he has something to do with giant gross pigs. (No voice, just text: EPIC FORESHADOWING) Riku: Either way, bring it on! I want to see your best move! Link: Fine then! (Smash Ball appears)Link: Oh. Perfect timing. (smiles) Riku; Uh, what's that? Link: (slashs Smash Ball, glows) Riku: Uh, what are you doing? Link: OMNISLASH! (traps Riku in a giant Triforce) Riku: ... Crapbas-- Link: (slashes the shit out of Riku, final slash breaks Riku out of the Triforce, which also breaks and sends Riku flying against the wall, bouncingand into the air and through the roof) Riku: --KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETSSSS! (flips around in the air as he flies further away and turns into a star) (Everybody goes silent except for Link) Sora: ..... GAME! Kairi: What was that for? Sora: I don't know... but it felt right... Link: One down... (raises sword to Sora and gang) Four to go... Oh shiznit! All: No. Oh, I'm sorry, who's the narrator and controller of this story. Sora: Come on, Firaga, if we don't call you out on your stuff sometimes, then-- (pulls out gun) Sora: ... Shutting up. Good Sora. Now then. (clears throat) Oh shiznit! There's gonna be some major rizzle going down in this bitch! Sora: Oh my God... And guess what? You get to decide how that goes on! Aren't you special?  What will Link do against Sora and the gang next?A} Try to kill every last one of them B} Try to fight them but ends up joining them thanks to Sora C} Trys to get them all to be his posse Have fun with all that, jelly beans. I'm out the window! LITERALLY! (jumps out of a window) I can't wait to see what people choose for this one. That's all I have to say. Bye.

I pick C. I think that is the best option for comedy sake.

I choose A.

B. I WANNA SEE LINK ON THE TEAM.

B.  Need I say more?

A.....that'd make quite an interesting battle

So hard to choose--yep,gotta pick C for saving comedy on this Story...

Uh... guys... I just realized that each choice got an equal amount of votes... so... we're going to need some more people contributing to the scenario choosing if we wanna move on. Sorry.  

 

Until then, here's some bloopers from the previous episodes:

 

-- BLOOPER REEL #1

 

-- EPISODE 1: Introduction Scene

 

Today is a great day for these three friends; they're going to embark on a great adventure, one that will be full of action, adventure... and butt sex. Oh wait, No!

 

All: ...

 

I didn't mean that! (laughs)

 

(CUT!)

 

Sora: I didn't know this was a fanfiction now. (laughs)

 

Riku and Kairi: (laughing along)

 

Okay, okay, lemme try that again.

 

-- EPISODE 2: Carpet Scene

 

The votes are in, and the choice from last episode is "B". So now, you guys better get ready.

 

All: Oh no.

 

Oh yes.

 

All: Oh no.

 

Oh yes.

 

All: Oh no.

 

Oh yes.

 

All: No...

 

Yes...

 

All: No!

 

Yes!

 

All: No!

 

Rabbit season!

 

All: Duck season!

 

Rabbit season!

 

All: Duck season!

 

Rabb--pffft (laughs)

 

(CUT!)

 

All: (laughing)

 

(Porky Pig noises) That's all folks! (laughs more) (sighs) Okay, from the top--

 

-- EPISODE 3: Gozilla Fight Scene

 

Sora: I! THINK! I'M! GONNA! PUKE! AGH!

 

(Godzilla throws Sora against a wall, he hits his head) AGH!

 

Riku: Oh God, that sounded horrible!

 

Kairi: I-Is he alright?!

 

Sora: (lands on his neck) (CRACK!) AGH! AGH! OWWWW!

 

Riku: OH MY F**KING GOD!

 

Kairi: (Screams)

 

Sora: My neck! My freaking neck! AGH! (feels head) AND MY HEAD! AGH! I'M BLEEDING OUT!

 

Riku: Oh God, his brains are leaking out!

 

Kairi: Oh God, I'm gonna... I'm gonna-- (pukes)

 

Riku: (pukes)

 

Sora: (turns to his side and pukes)

 

Godzilla: ... (pukes, creating a giant puddle of puke on the ground)

 

... (pukes)

 

(Oh my God, CU--(pukes))

Edited October 21, 201312 yr by Firaga Sensei

I still have to catch up, but since I guess a certain guy on here is making me vote, I'm going for 3.