Hello everybody,

 

I wrote a screenplay for a Kingdom Hearts Fan Film we are shooting this summer, and I was wondering if I could get some feedback.

 

It is based in the Kingdom Hearts universe, but is a new story with new characters. It's the story of two nobodies in their search for meaning in a twilight-town-type world. 

 

Thanks guys!

 

 

Untitled Kingdom Hearts Fan Film_v1_14_05_03.pdf

Edited May 4, 201411 yr by KeybladeWielderXIII

Fool. Not very good. Some of the format is off for a screenplay. Your targeted audience will be very very very small. I'd say you should almost never turn a bad fan fic into a film. Either do something something original or stick with the original KH story. Otherwise it will be a waste of time and money.

Fool. Not very good. Some of the format is off for a screenplay. Your targeted audience will be very very very small. I'd say you should almost never turn a bad fan fic into a film. Either do something something original or stick with the original KH story. Otherwise it will be a waste of time and money.

 

Was there anything in particular that was made it bad fan fic? Like certain pieces of dialogue or story pieces? 

 

I feel like the Kingdom Hearts is a series that can spawn many amazing images and stories for a film, but the original canon is way too hard to make into live action. It is basically a anime cartoon intertwined into disney worlds.

 

There are tons of fan films that aren't don't have the original characters or stories. 

 

Thanks for being honest, but I feel like a fan film like this could be something that KH fans would enjoy. If this exists, then I feel it would be lame to abandoned it just because of my subpar first draft writing skills. 

 

Is there anyway you can see this project being interesting or do you think I should abandon it? 

 

Thanks man

Fool. Not very good. Some of the format is off for a screenplay. Your targeted audience will be very very very small. I'd say you should almost never turn a bad fan fic into a film. Either do something something original or stick with the original KH story. Otherwise it will be a waste of time and money.

 

But isn't KH itself already a fanfic?

I'm not really interested in it, it's boring.

Fool. If you can somehow connect it to the main story, it might work. It has to seem interesting to someone who has never heard of Kingdom Hearts.

Here's what the film ended up being after I hired a writer. Thanks for the feedback! 

Wait you're behind the story of Nobody?

Here's what the film ended up being after I hired a writer. Thanks for the feedback! 

Fool. Nice work. You definitely did the best with what you had. Visual effects were great, I'd say. Very nice audio, was the dialogue adr? Some of the lines were clunky and/or didn't make sense. Choreography for the fight needs work, but choreographers and fancy stunt work can get expensive, so I get it. Try maybe cutting up the action in to more shots. Best fan film ever, no not really. Great Kingdom Hearts film, yeah, it's up there. Sorry it took so long for a reply, I've been off this site for a long time.