There were six people gathered around the table. Five of them, Lea, her husband Demyx, MasterXemnas, Weedanort, and Aaron, were waiting to hear what the sixth was going to say. The sixth, a lawyer by the name of Nortanort, spoke out, "As the executor of Mr. Chiuchiarelli's estate, I have been empowered to read Mr. Chiuchiarelli's last will and testament.""Well get on with it! The bar's open soon," Weedanort drunkenly exclaimed.Lea sobbed out, "Oh poor dear Daniel," and sobbed even more.Demyx tried to console her with, "Oh, there there, Lea," but it didn't really work as she was still sobbing."How predictably boring," MasterXemnas said."I never worked for a kinder man," said Aaron."If we all seated, I shall start the reading," Nortanort said, even though he knew everyone was seated.
Weedanort chuckled for reasons only his drunken mind would understand."I, Daniel Chiuchiarelli, being of sound mind and body," Nortanort started to read out, but was interrupted by Weedanort."Ha, that's a laugh." said he, laughing."Do here by divide up my considerable estate as follows: To my overly emotional sister, Lea."Here Lea cut in, with an extra loud sob. "Lea, darling, he's talking about us," Demyx said, trying, once more, to comfort her."Oh," said Lea, immediately stopping her sobbing.Nortanort resumed, "Who grubbed with her husband Demyx, grubbed for everything they could get from me, and cried crocodile tears when they needed sympathy."Lea made a confused sound, then listened to what she would get"To Lea, I leave: A boot to the head," Nortanort continued, pointing at Lea."What?" Lea asked, just before a boot appeared out of nowhere, and hit her in the head. "Ow," She exclaimed in pain."Lea, are you ok?" Demyx asked, concerned."And another boot to her wimpy husband Demyx!" Nortanort added, pointing at Demyx. He was having a bit too much fun watching people get hit in the head with a boot."Ow!" Demyx exclaimed. Weedanort laughed at his pain."This is an outrage!" said Lea, sounding angry."But still," continued Nortanort, "You are still my sister. You have both admired my Rolls Royce, and since I no longer need it.""Oh dear Daniel!" Lea said, anticipating a new car. This, to her, cleared up the effrontery of being hit in the head with a boot."I bequeath: Another boot to the head!" Nortanort added, still sounding happy."What?" Lea asked, just before being hit in the head again, with an ow right after it.Weedanort laughed again, clearly enjoying their pain."And one more for the wimp," Nortanort continued.As Demyx was hit in the head, he wondered just how much longer this was going to last, then went ow."Next, to my alcoholic brother, Weedanort," Nortanort started."Hey, I don't want no boot to the head!" interrupted Weedanort.Nortanort resumed, "To dear Weedanort, who has never worked a day in his drunken life.""I'm covering up my head," said Weedanort, doing so, with the mug he had been holding the whole time."I leave my wine cellar, and three crates of my finest whiskey," Nortanort continued."Really?" asked Weedanort, thinking it was too good to be true."And a boot to the head," Nortanort resumed, as one was promptly delivered to Weedanort. "And another for Lea and the wimp!" he added, then watched as the boots flew through the air. "Next, to my know-it-all nephew MasterXemnas," he started to say.MasterXemnas cut in, "This is so predictable.""A boot to the head," Nortanort finished, then watched the boot hit him with no small degree of smugness."I knew it," MasterXemnas said, after getting up from the impact of the boot.Nortanort added, after MasterXemnas had gotten up, "And one for Lea and the wimp," then watched the boots hit their intended targets. "This takes care of family obligations," said Nortanort, still reading from the will, "And now to Mister Aaron.""Oh, I don't want nothing, heh," Aaron nervously said, expecting the worst."Who took care of me faithfully these many, many, years, who cared, made me laugh, brought me tea," Nortanort continued, before another interruption."Oh, I didn't mind," Aaron said, feeling relieved."To Mister Aaron, I bequeath: A boot to the head," Nortanort said.The boot hit Aaron, who was taken aback from the impact of it."And one for Lea and the wimp," Nortanort added, smiling as he heard their exclamations of pain. They couldn't be seen anymore, as they had decided it was safer on the floor."And to my cat Shana, I leave," Nortanort continued, sounding as if he was almost done, "my entire, vast... boot to the head."
Nothing was seen, but they could all hear the sound of a large thunk, and the cat screaming. Fortunately the cat was ok, but it didn't appreciate being hit by a boot."And finally, to my lawyer who has helped me with this will, I leave, not a boot to the head, but a rabid... Tasmanian... Devil.. to be placed in his trousers?!" exclaimed Nortanort, shortly before it was done. Through his gasps of pain, Nortanort continued, "And I leave my entire estate of ten million dollars to the people of KHInsider so they can afford to go somewhere decent!" Nortanort finished, having finally extracted the rabid Tasmanian Devil from his trousers."That's it?!" exclaimed the rest of the people around the table, with a "That's disgraceful" from Weedanort. Even Lea, and Demyx were shocked, after they finally got up."One last thing for everyone," Nortanort said, sounding scared at the prospect of what would come next."Cover your heads everybody," Weedanort said, figuring what would come next."I leave everyone a lifetime supply of ice cream," Nortanort said, being happy it wasn't a boot to the head."Ice cream? That's all?" was the question everyone was asking, expect from Aaron.He asked, tentatively, "Well... what flavor is it?""Boot to the head!" Nortanort finished off, finally. He started to laugh as the boots flew through the air, even if he was hit by one or two.
I blame Weedanort. Anyway, this is a parody of the Boot to the Head Skit, from the Frantics. More specifically, the Phoenix Wright video.
There were six people gathered around the table. Five of them, Lea, her husband Demyx, MasterXemnas, Weedanort, and Aaron, were waiting to hear what the sixth was going to say. The sixth, a lawyer by the name of Nortanort, spoke out, "As the executor of Mr. Chiuchiarelli's estate, I have been empowered to read Mr. Chiuchiarelli's last will and testament.""Well get on with it! The bar's open soon," Weedanort drunkenly exclaimed.Lea sobbed out, "Oh poor dear Daniel," and sobbed even more.Demyx tried to console her with, "Oh, there there, Lea," but it didn't really work as she was still sobbing."How predictably boring," MasterXemnas said."I never worked for a kinder man," said Aaron."If we all seated, I shall start the reading," Nortanort said, even though he knew everyone was seated.
Weedanort chuckled for reasons only his drunken mind would understand."I, Daniel Chiuchiarelli, being of sound mind and body," Nortanort started to read out, but was interrupted by Weedanort."Ha, that's a laugh." said he, laughing."Do here by divide up my considerable estate as follows: To my overly emotional sister, Lea."Here Lea cut in, with an extra loud sob. "Lea, darling, he's talking about us," Demyx said, trying, once more, to comfort her."Oh," said Lea, immediately stopping her sobbing.Nortanort resumed, "Who grubbed with her husband Demyx, grubbed for everything they could get from me, and cried crocodile tears when they needed sympathy."Lea made a confused sound, then listened to what she would get"To Lea, I leave: A boot to the head," Nortanort continued, pointing at Lea."What?" Lea asked, just before a boot appeared out of nowhere, and hit her in the head. "Ow," She exclaimed in pain."Lea, are you ok?" Demyx asked, concerned."And another boot to her wimpy husband Demyx!" Nortanort added, pointing at Demyx. He was having a bit too much fun watching people get hit in the head with a boot."Ow!" Demyx exclaimed. Weedanort laughed at his pain."This is an outrage!" said Lea, sounding angry."But still," continued Nortanort, "You are still my sister. You have both admired my Rolls Royce, and since I no longer need it.""Oh dear Daniel!" Lea said, anticipating a new car. This, to her, cleared up the effrontery of being hit in the head with a boot."I bequeath: Another boot to the head!" Nortanort added, still sounding happy."What?" Lea asked, just before being hit in the head again, with an ow right after it.Weedanort laughed again, clearly enjoying their pain."And one more for the wimp," Nortanort continued.As Demyx was hit in the head, he wondered just how much longer this was going to last, then went ow."Next, to my alcoholic brother, Weedanort," Nortanort started."Hey, I don't want no boot to the head!" interrupted Weedanort.Nortanort resumed, "To dear Weedanort, who has never worked a day in his drunken life.""I'm covering up my head," said Weedanort, doing so, with the mug he had been holding the whole time."I leave my wine cellar, and three crates of my finest whiskey," Nortanort continued."Really?" asked Weedanort, thinking it was too good to be true."And a boot to the head," Nortanort resumed, as one was promptly delivered to Weedanort. "And another for Lea and the wimp!" he added, then watched as the boots flew through the air. "Next, to my know-it-all nephew MasterXemnas," he started to say.MasterXemnas cut in, "This is so predictable.""A boot to the head," Nortanort finished, then watched the boot hit him with no small degree of smugness."I knew it," MasterXemnas said, after getting up from the impact of the boot.Nortanort added, after MasterXemnas had gotten up, "And one for Lea and the wimp," then watched the boots hit their intended targets. "This takes care of family obligations," said Nortanort, still reading from the will, "And now to Mister Aaron.""Oh, I don't want nothing, heh," Aaron nervously said, expecting the worst."Who took care of me faithfully these many, many, years, who cared, made me laugh, brought me tea," Nortanort continued, before another interruption."Oh, I didn't mind," Aaron said, feeling relieved."To Mister Aaron, I bequeath: A boot to the head," Nortanort said.The boot hit Aaron, who was taken aback from the impact of it."And one for Lea and the wimp," Nortanort added, smiling as he heard their exclamations of pain. They couldn't be seen anymore, as they had decided it was safer on the floor."And to my cat Shana, I leave," Nortanort continued, sounding as if he was almost done, "my entire, vast... boot to the head."
Nothing was seen, but they could all hear the sound of a large thunk, and the cat screaming. Fortunately the cat was ok, but it didn't appreciate being hit by a boot."And finally, to my lawyer who has helped me with this will, I leave, not a boot to the head, but a rabid... Tasmanian... Devil.. to be placed in his trousers?!" exclaimed Nortanort, shortly before it was done. Through his gasps of pain, Nortanort continued, "And I leave my entire estate of ten million dollars to the people of KHInsider so they can afford to go somewhere decent!" Nortanort finished, having finally extracted the rabid Tasmanian Devil from his trousers."That's it?!" exclaimed the rest of the people around the table, with a "That's disgraceful" from Weedanort. Even Lea, and Demyx were shocked, after they finally got up."One last thing for everyone," Nortanort said, sounding scared at the prospect of what would come next."Cover your heads everybody," Weedanort said, figuring what would come next."I leave everyone a lifetime supply of ice cream," Nortanort said, being happy it wasn't a boot to the head."Ice cream? That's all?" was the question everyone was asking, expect from Aaron.He asked, tentatively, "Well... what flavor is it?""Boot to the head!" Nortanort finished off, finally. He started to laugh as the boots flew through the air, even if he was hit by one or two.
I blame Weedanort. Anyway, this is a parody of the Boot to the Head Skit, from the Frantics. More specifically, the Phoenix Wright video.