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(NSFW) my kay ech funfiction: riku teh 40 YEAR OLD vergen

Posted

riku was 40 yeers old... and he had tfw no gf. riku wanted to secks someune but who? he was owld nd hairy and very phat. he had been a dooshbag in teh passt and nobody wunted his kehblaide (his ding). one dai reku was watching sroa and karl ray do the hentaiz. so riiku asked kairi if he would wash because that way he coold at least SEE the secks. so rikky peaked his heed over the windough when sroa was doing karry. "can i wash" rik asked. "riku go way wear on our honnimoon." and riku ran off. so reekew decidd he needed to get layed... so he wint to a nEW PALCE. this new place... sas a wurld nd he met someone there... it was eggmun from snoci hedgehog vidyea goim series.

 

"im 80 year old version (virgin)" egg said to reek.

"im 40 yur old virgil..." recku said.

so riku and eggmen promised to both get... layed...

 

reku opened up an ackount on okcupid ahnd he gat a date.

 

so reku was about to hav THE SECKS. and he took of his pants and his date said "ITS ONLY 0'3"!!!! OMG!!!!" and then reiku was like "bby lets roleplay. ill pretend to be a guy with a 0'10" DING DONG and u pretend to be gurl who is having secks with a 0'10" DING. then the gurl laughed at him and left."

 

eggmen was not doing well.. he was dyin in his hospetal bed...

 

"egg" riku said sadly.

 

"rek" eggmon said. "im going 2 tell ut he story of my virginhood"

 

 

Posted Image

 

 

 

"omg so u got FRANDZANED so hard no gurl wnts 2 go out with u???" riku said astonished. riku put on his fedora. he realized tht the wurd fedora rhymed with sora...

 

"join me egg. together we will be menininininininininininists" riku said as he tikpped his sora fedora.

 

"i cant rikhu... im going 2 die... and im STILL a virgil!" egg cried.

 

"egg!!!" riku cried.

 

reck knew wht he had to do... no, not WHAT he had to do... WHO he had to do.

 

then reck did the egg RIGHT THERE on the hospital bed. egg the not-virgin smiled as he died...

 

The End

Featured Replies

My head hurts trying to decipher this back into readable human English xD

11/10 would read again

I read the title as "mm'kay ecchi french fries: riku teh 40 YEAR OLD vegetarian"

is so sed. th egg got wut he wontd.  :

liek if u cri evrytiem

ley dontri nut 2 cricri

Ok... Ok... You win xD

Ok... Ok... You win xD

nu, the egg win. he get wis.

  • Author

It's just like real life!

IKR? It's very realistic, I made it that way so the characters would seem more human and relatable to the audience.

 

Best story ever, 10/10 

Thanks I'm the new Shakespeare.

IKR? It's very realistic, I made it that way so the characters would seem more human and relatable to the audience.

 

Thanks I'm the new Shakespeare.

You mean Shukspure, bruh. 

  • Author

You mean Shukspure, bruh. 

 

I would have said Shulkspeare but we already have a Shulk here.

I would have said Shulkspeare but we already have a Shulk here.

Shakeandbakespeare 

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