I thought of what it would've been like if my mom and dad stayed together.

 

Of course, I probably wouldn't have any of my current siblings. However...

Did you know that I don't have one sibling with the same blood as mine? I either have half-siblings or step-siblings.

I knew that Nana telling me all of these stories would get to me, but...

I sometimes wonder whether my mom was in love with any of her previous men, with her current husband. I now wonder if my parents ever loved each other...

but then the story that Nana told me of how he left her to be a 14-year-old. And I was in the womb at the time.

Sure, I live with a mother who loves me, and I try to visit a father who loves me, but I now tend to think of what could have been...

 

It makes me cry....

I'm really sorry and in a different kind of way, I understand you...This may sound crazy and extremely different, but sometimes I think my parents wished I were a boy or my oldest sister. I feel like my dad doesn't really love me at times and he can't understand me and sometimes I just feel like I mess up all the time and I don't get 100% of their love. Your mother sounds very strong and so do you and I respect you for going through all of that. I'm glad you are saying you are happy though where you are in your life, yes I wonder what could have been too and we all do...but love your siblings like they were actual blood-related, because deep down they are still connected to you in a wonderful way. I'm sorry that I don't have much to say on this...

Nah, it's alright. Thank you for the words.

Empathy from me mate. I have no blood relatives, 4 half-brothers and one half-sister. All older than me by many years except for one little half-brother. I always wanted a brother my age to play with when I was younger, sometimes in the past when I still had emotions a tear would fall. I always wonder in life on what would happen if I lived with father instead, or if mother and father were still married and happy. *sigh* oh well, back to research.

I wouldn't know what it was like, but I don't know what I'd do if I was in the same situation as you. You're very brave to be making it through that. And maybe if things hadn't been the way they are, you would've wished they were. I hope things get better for you.