Have you ever found yourself wanting to go back to a certain point? Lately I’ve kinda been wishing I could relive the last seven years of my life. I mean right now I’m pretty much going nowhere. I’ve got very few friends and they’re all across the country, and I can’t really go out and make new ones as I don’t have transportation. I don’t really know how to make new ones now that I’m out of school. There’s a guy I would like a second chance with. He was the closest thing I’ve ever had to a boyfriend. I might have had some feelings for him, I don’t really know because my friend started having problems with her boyfriend (don’t ask) and I kinda let the whole thing slide. Naturally she’s not my friend anymore. FML. I kinda would like to live through the fall of 2012 again. Yeah, I had severe problems with OCD, but I was happy. I had friends. I had something to look forward to everyday. Now each day just blurs into the next one. All I pretty much do is sit at home. And I’d kinda like to get things right this time, you know. Get all the stuff I missed. All the stuff I should have gotten but didn’t. I guess there’s no point in even thinking about this, but I’ve got nothing better to do. I’ve always thought that the answeres would come in time. That there would be an opportunity waiting for me when I’m ready. But it’s been three years and all I’ve done since I’ve left school is go backwards. I don’t know. Has anyone else felt like that?

There was a girl, she completely destroyed my heart, multiple times. I waited out her recent relationship and wasted almost four years on her. When they finally broke up I took my chance, only to be used and then thrown away like trash. I wish I could go back and warn myself somehow.

I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through a bit of a rough patch, but I really do believe these opportunities will present themselves to you again, or maybe even better ones, maybe not as soon as you like and maybe not how you expect them to, maybe you will have to work for them, but I believe things will get better even if it doesn’t seem that way right now. I am just speaking from my own experience however, everyone’s situation is different of course. 

 

I have definitely felt this way before, especially for the better part of last year when I was struggling to find a new job. I distanced myself from my friends save for a very select few, and definitely spent more time at home than I would have liked to, out of embarrassment for my situation at the time. During that time I thought to myself “I should have done x, y and z differently while I was in college or I wouldn’t be in this mess” and other things along those lines. I’m in a much better place now, but  I really do understand that it is difficult and does take a stressful toll on you. 

 

I think it’s natural that we reflect upon past experiences and think about what we could have done differently. In fact, I think it’s important that we do so in order to take steps to do better in the future, so we can learn and grow as people. But that being said I think it’s also important that we aren’t too hard on ourselves either, after all we can often times be our own worst critics and sometimes that can hold us back. 

 

For me personally would I go back? I think there will always be that part of me that will think to go back and do things differently, but like I said before, I think it’s learning from our struggles and past experiences that makes us grow as people so from that perspective I wouldn’t want to go back because I don’t think I’d be the same person I am now if things had panned out differently. I know it may sound a bit cliché but that’s just my take on it. 

Oh wow, I'm sorry that you're going through this rough situation, Joan! No one should have to feel like one day blurs into the next! You should look forward to each day your life brings, so I hope you can get out of this funk and give yourself a chance at being happy and striving to better yourself to achieve your happiness! Just hang in there!

 

As for myself, I'm pretty content with my life with the way I've lived it at the moment. I've learned from the good and the bad, and I've grown as a result. But that being said though, I'd love to live through my high school years again. Those were the best days of my life! Not to say that I don't enjoy the present, because I really do, but in the sense of nostalgia and reliving past years, I would love to live through my high school years! They were the best, and I remember all the memories I made with my closest friends, the rough patches we went through, the experiences we shared, and just the lazy, carefree semblance of not having to worry too much about the future, ya know? I guess I really miss that, since my closest friends and I were more unified. Don't get me wrong, we're as close as ever, but we don't all hang together like we used to, and I miss that. I hang out with them individually, but sadly, there's only a rare chance when we all come together, ya know? 

 

And I also personally would have wanted to go back to 10th grade, and I would've fixed the mistake of having been too shy to not give one of my best friends, Selina, a chance. Because years later, she told me that she had crushed on me at the time, but I was very innocent and didn't catch on to cues, and I was shy and everything! So I was pretty oblivious, like Naruto to Hinata's feelings during most of Naruto! But yeah, with how close we are, I wish I would've made a move on her back then, and maybe, we'd be a couple nowadays. We're extremely close in the present, but we aren't together, and that saddens me. But hey, everything happens for a reason. So I look back with fond remembrance, and while I think of what could have been, I don't let that make me lose my focus on what's in front of me, ya know? I, for one, am happy and fortunate to have lived life all the way I've lived it up till now, and I'm very blessed to have met all the people I have along the way, and experienced the experiences I've been through!

There's always room for new friends and better things in our future and present, thing is we sometimes close ourselves in an attempt to re-experience the past as how we knew it, that is called to grow up. Life keeps changing and we must go with the change, things in the past should stay in the past, it's better to focus on the present which offers new things different than those of the past, not meaning they are not good enough as those of before. Open yourself to the possibilities and then you shall have brand new experiences that can be even greater. Wish you the best on this journey called life Joan!

 

Alway Smile

I can relate there was a time a couple of years ago where i had no job and no money and felt as if i was useless garbage. I would change the things that lead to that unfortunatet outcome but i cant. But i can build for the future and as the transcendet key said everything happens for a reason you will see in a couple years from now you will realize that this is all life experience that will make you wiser in the end