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Well I guess I might as well say it. Hopefully this won't get deleted, so I'll try my best to be, "nice", since I feel like most of you were dropped on the head as a baby. 1) I was the real master
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I was naked yesterday, but now I've got my keyblades. C'mon bronies, I'll ride ya all.
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Let's defeat them! No mercy for cuteness.
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Originally this war started out as a way to destroy Bronies.
Now we are victorious!
The original and oppressive acts of all those who have shown negative feelings to Bronies must not got unpunished! We shall begin the great purge and wipe those who refuse to convert off the face of the earth!
But what gives us the right to do this? Well I'll tell you the story, the Xenu story. This is not to be confused with Scientology's bullshit theory. This is the real one...
65 Million years ago there was a galactic confederacy of planets and star systems, all lead by the overlord XENU
However things were not going well for Xenu. His failure to fix the galactic economy was well known throughout the nation and as a result the people were about to vote him out. Xenu knew that once a ruler is voted out his life is over, so he came up with a plan
He decided to round up and kill every alien in the confederacy that he could find.
So Xenu's army went forth from planet to planet capturing multiple alien species and froze them using the powers of psychiatry. One of these alien species were the highly intelligent and scientifically advanced Ponies.
Ponies fought valiantly but Xenu's space armada was too much for the mighty Ponies. They were frozen and then put inside Xenu's spaceship which kind of looks like a DC9 plane but with Jet Engines. Then the frozen aliens were brought to earth. And placed around the Hawaii volcanoes, then Xenu blew them up with hydrogen bombs! Their souls known as Thetans rose into the sky. But Xenu anticipated this so he built giant Thetan catchers in the sky! The Thetan catchers then transported the Thetans to movie theaters where they watched 3-D films teaching all the lies that we know today. They forgot everything about thier past. After they were brainwashed, the Thetans were released and roamed the earth. There they attached to the bodies of humans and fused with them.
You see, the Pony Thetans attached to us which then turned us into the Bronies we are today. The Bronies made many accomplishments in the Ancient era. You know the Sphinx? It's actually a kneeling pony, not a lion. That's just what erosion did to the monment. The Eygptians, Romans, Greeks, all Bronies.
You see kids, the Bronies are the master race. We have been responsible for all of mankinds greatest triumphs. However inferior Thetans attached to others causing Anti- Brony feelings. They were upset and jealous by the triumphs so they accociated being a Brony with being a creep and thus Bronies were forced to hide.
Until today.
With the revolution it is now our goal to rebuild the old glory of Ponyville.
If we do so we will obtain a Brighter future! A Stronger Future! A Pony Future!
As a result all those that refuse to become a Brony will be relocated to special camps where they will work in hard labor until the Brony comes out of them.
HIEL CELESTIA!