Hey everyone, here you can post personal things about yourself like a diary, it can be anything that is going on in your life or thoughts. The thing is, you can't respond to other diary entries. If you'd like to respond to them then please contact the member via PM or Chat if you'd like to help them but only IF they ask for help in their entries.

 

I'll start.

 

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Dear Self,

 

Why can't I just stop messing up? I've already made two failing grades and I don't understand what is happening to me. I'm highly disappointed in myself. I need to get myself back on track and start being serious for once because I don't want to lose my dream school. I just wish I was smart, but I feel so hopeless in my abilities. I really need some confidence in myself. I hope all this gets better for me soon, if it doesn't, idk what else to do.

 

- Cricket

Dear Self,

 

Why am I so afraid of what I can be? I have so much potential, and if I would live up to it, my whole life would probably be 1,000,000 times better (not necessarily easier, but better). Why do I hold myself back and numb my desires with things that will amount to nothing in the long run? I need to start caring about myself, and putting forth an effort to be all that I can be, for my sake and the sake of others.

 

-Always

Dear Self

 

I know life may not be going the way you want them to be, and sometimes you wish that you were born someone else with a different destiny. But always remember that you yourself are a unique person with your own mind and feelings. I mean sure you've hated yourself for making some stupid decisions in life - and you are probably pushing yourself into a career that you've always wanted to avoid but you did it anyway for your family.

 

But always know that no matter what mask you wear on the outside, eventually someone will see through you and take that mask away from that shy personality which you try oh-so hard to hide. And when that finally happens, they will see the cheerful and musical bliss which lays deep and hidden away in your soul rather than the dry and barren person for which you display. No-one can change your true essence even if you cover it up.

 

You need to learn to shout out and show the world who you are and what you want instead of sitting in silence and waiting for fate to serve you. I know its hard, but believe in yourself and who you are.

 

I want to hope that one day, the smiles you wear will be smiles which reflect the happiness from your spirit rather than a act of falseness from a mask.

 

- All the very Best

 

P.S: Remember that in the deepest darkness, a light will always shine ~

Dear Self,

 

Try not to make things too hard on your self by spending your time on silly things. Although you have yet to chose a path, its all right you still have time, and at least you know how to begin. Aside from that you still have promises to keep and the goals you must achieve,goals you set for yourself in what seemed like a long time ago but its really not..heh You've come long way since then but you're not done yet so what are you waiting for? Keep going! Dont worry so much about what the others will think, and dont doubt yourself because the minute you do, they will begin to do the same. But its not their fault dont blame them they rely on "common sense" so much its a wonder they havent lost the ability to think (thank your lucky stars you didnt turn out like that right!?). You'll find a way to piece everything together, so just keep at it, yea?!

 

- lots of love, Oathkeeper

dear self,

 

it it was another day when i dealt with some awesome people. one dumb girl had the nerve to say that california and texas were countries. i let a guy that sat next to me borrow my mechanical pencil and he spent literally the whole call trying to figure out how it worked, i didnt know whether to laugh or cry and then i saw a girl that was trying to go into the main office but she walked into the window instead. stuff like that happeneds frequently like i saw this dude that was trying to get into class but he walked into the pole twice before he figured out that something was wrong....im losing faith in the human race. its clear the most people have and IQ of -5, its even sad to say when we were talking about politics at class they had NO idea who was the vice president. one said "bush"

 

 

-

hope to god i would not be surprised that 20 years from now some idiot might even push "THIS SHINY BUTTON!!!!!" and cause a melt down. peace.

Dear Self,

 

It is February 1st, 2012. Another headache is just landing upon me, and i'm, of course, speaking or thinking in a way humiliating to others besides my own mind. I have just returned to KH13.com some two days prior, my mind is not as fast as it can be working right now..................not as fast as the average boy's mind of my age, wasted on the sins of greed and others. I made my comeback AMV yesterday, just finally finishing it struck the bell of nostalgia. Now i'm remembering the golden days of my youth on this site, imagining the roleplaying section, creating spectacular AMV's to my eyes, writing poem after poem and chapter after chapter of a novel I have all but given up on for it is illogical. Everyday, my body is in chronic physical pain-struck by its own self on me. Now though, just my heart is in pain, a little headache, the top of my spine. I have always been "cursed" with being in pain every single day, all I had done unto myself though. If I hadn't gotten hit by that red truck in my elementary school years my knees wouldn't ache, if I had watched what I ate my heart and other some body limbs wouldn't pain me, if I had less work to carry in my backpack and born into a different family wouldn't have been struck with scoliosis of approx. 70% (my spine was a hair's width away from touching my heart, the surgery was painful to recover from, the horrible 7 hours of surgery, 3 days of recovery, 24 screws jammed to every knick and thick of my spine, 2 rod shafts crushed along inside and then to just be stitched up after being cut like a frozen pig' s carcass!) but I am feeling better now as time passes. My memory is bad, but never the memory of that time.

But thats the past and today is today dear self. The lord has blessed me greatly for my girlfriend, for whom I would never have met in school if I wasn't held back in kindergarten another year because of my baby talk speech impediment. We both have lived terrible lives, one more year left till we can live together, be together happily. Today I will tackle like the rest, with kindness, patience, understanding and truthfulness. If I remember, 80 push-ups in p.e last week for intensive training day on wedsndays. I hope for a similar number today.

This was creative, a diary publicly to "let it all out". It does good for my soul and lifts the pain a little. (deep breathes, let it heal my premature arthritis, my tickling-aching knees.) I hope I can write my stories and poems just as good or even better than before's times when I resided in this site, maybe my AMV's can work out as well, or my roleplaying. My research has stopped itself from the last time I was on this site, now i'm researching my religion, which I could only be scoffed at for even mentioning such a cliche, such a imaginary and "fake" thing which couldn't possibly exist in the eyes of others. But it does to all of you who are as blind as the Sun and receptive as the ocean.

I might be typing too much even for here, my apologies everyone, my mind wanders from thought to thought even if it is a slow mind.

 

-Sorage55

Dear Koko,

 

Don't give up. Ever.

 

Love, yourself.

 

P.S. you are a princess, dont forget it

Dear Self,

 

Yes! You finally made an 85 on your microbiology test and things seem to be looking up! Keep staying strong and don't ever doubt yourself because you are a beautiful and smart person!

Dear self

STOP DRINKING RED BULL U KNOW U ARE WEAK TO COFFEINE

and when u drink it u become SOOOO annoying and starts talking to me about random shit no one cares about and GOD to u go to the toilet alot after u drink red bull for the love of god STOP IT

Dear self

 

Your'e sexy.

Dear me,

 

You know you have that special person in your thoughts, yet you can't do anything because both of you are miles away. It's alright. You know you will see that person soon. Trust your mind and heart.

 

Love me.

 

ZIM!!!

 

Don't use the time machine~

 

Love, ZIM!!!!!