Okay, here it goes...

 

So my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months, but we've been through a lot. We jumped the gun and after 2 weeks of dating we told each other we loved each other. He said it first, I said it back. Months later he admitted he jumped the gun and told me he loves me, but he wasn't in love with me. I felt the same exact way. We kept up our relationship for a while, but then we broke. The break up only lasted a week and we got back together, but agreed to take things slow because we rushed things the first time. Well, his 2 best friends and one of his sisters deleted me on Facebook. He's the one who broke up with me via text message, while I was on vacation yet his friends/family deleted me. Well, I finally saw them and they treat me just fine. They talk to me, hang out, hug me and just act like nothing happened. Like okay? What also really bothers me, is he was with a girl for 5 years and his family always talks shit on her. They always say how rude, ignorant, selfish, spoiled, ugly and everything else she is.. yet on Facebook they constantly talk to her, tell her how proud they are of her, how beautiful she is… His other family members like aunts and uncles hope they get back together as well. Um, she cheated on him multiple times. Like what the firetruck?? Do they talk about me behind my back too?? My boyfriend does the same thing. His best girl friend who he liked his whole life started with me, they stopped talking, he deleted her off of Facebook but 2 days after we broke up they were friends again. She asked him to hang out, but he never went. They also haven't talked in weeks. However, he talked shit on her ALL the time. Said how she has no morals, he can't stand her, he's done.. Yet 2 days after we break up he's friends with her. He hasn't talked to her since then and that was weeks ago and they haven't seen each other in almost a year. I feel like everyone is 2 faced though. My family thinks he's playing me and I'm making a mistake… I don't know what to think. We get along really well, he does really nice things for me (treats me to everything, buys me stuff, is always there when I need to talk), we have a lot of fun together, if he gets a job in NY he said he wants me to go with him, but my parents say that'll be a huge mistake.. I don't know what to do or what to think. Im so confused ;__;

 

However, I'd also like to point out that I too was with someone for 5 years and my family (parents, aunts, uncles) think we'll somehow get back together (Um, we moved to SC and he still lives in PA) and he treated me bad. He was on drugs, alcoholic, he hit me twice.. Like what the firetruck is wrong with people? Why would my boyfriends family want him to be with someone who cheated on him and why would my family want me to be with someone who treated me like shit??

 

I don't get it. I really don't. I just know Im really confused, scared and I feel myself pulling back a lot. It all really sucks. And on top of it Im in college and trying to find a job… So stressed out -____-

Sound like some tom foolery is a foot. Hope it all works out

Sound like some tom foolery is a foot. Hope it all works out

 

Thank you.

Really , please listen to your gut .Its always right, Something does seem amiss and i would keep your guard up . His family's behavior is also very suspicious and it would warn me to keep on my toes . Please be careful.

I think you need to be honest with your boyfriend. Tell him about it and see what he thinks and says. If what he says afterwards bothers you or doesn't feel right, then I think you have your answer.

I think you need to be honest with your boyfriend. Tell him about it and see what he thinks and says. If what he says afterwards bothers you or doesn't feel right, then I think you have your answer.

 

I did talk to him about it. He called his sister a bitch for deleting me (he can't stand her for the most part lol), he swears his other family likes me and if they didn't I wouldn't be able to go to their house because they wouldn't want me there (his Mom does really nice things for me that she doesn't have to do), he says his friends don't hate me either. He said we don't date those people, we date each other and how we feel about each other is all that matters. He said he's a lot more emotional than what he makes out to be because he has a wall up and he realized you can't please or trust everyone. Not long ago he said he'll pick me up tomorrow so we can hang out all day, he misses my pretty face, if I need a ride to a job interview I have on Wednesday he'll take me (i can't afford gas ).. so he treats me good and all, but my family seems to think he's playing me. I usually have really good gut instincts and intuition, but even that is confused right now. I feel like Im being pulled in so many different directions.

 

 

I did talk to him about it. He called his sister a bitch for deleting me (he can't stand her for the most part lol), he swears his other family likes me and if they didn't I wouldn't be able to go to their house because they wouldn't want me there (his Mom does really nice things for me that she doesn't have to do), he says his friends don't hate me either. He said we don't date those people, we date each other and how we feel about each other is all that matters. He said he's a lot more emotional than what he makes out to be because he has a wall up and he realized you can't please or trust everyone. Not long ago he said he'll pick me up tomorrow so we can hang out all day, he misses my pretty face, if I need a ride to a job interview I have on Wednesday he'll take me (i can't afford gas ).. so he treats me good and all, but my family seems to think he's playing me. I usually have really good gut instincts and intuition, but even that is confused right now. I feel like Im being pulled in so many different directions.

 

My personal opinion is I don't think a guy who's playing you would go to that extent to please you. I think he genuinely cares for you, Dawn. He's right about the fact you two aren't dating his friends and family, you're dating each other. I think you should take the time to concentrate on working out your relationship now and ignore what everyone else thinks. It's not really any of their business, is it?

Edit

After seeing the last two post I'll change my post a bit.

 

Hmm

 

1. The family gives of the hints that somethings a miss, I mean if the girl cheated on him numbers of times, they talk about her, but put up a friendly face when talking to her, saying they should get back together, and congrats her is weird.

 

2. Also like you said you got to wonder if they are doing the same thing to you which in the case is messed up. Far as I know you did nothing bad to make them do that.

 

3. Him and his ex thing. That also kind ponders me. If you two broke up, then friends with her, then you got back to getter but then act like that begs the question, why? Why add her after you two broke up? Was he looking for someone he knew for awhile to talk to or something, but then talk shit about her?

 

 

It seems you need a talk with your boyfriend. Things aren't adding up. Seems a bit suspicious. And whatever happens go for the right answers no matter how hard they are to get to or to hear.

 

But he is right about the family thing, it's you two not them that needs to work out this relationship

 

Also if you're stress you need to calm down and assess the situation, I know you are having problems but stressing a lot won't help. Keep a steady mind. Step back, breath and relax.

Edited May 14, 201213 yr by The One Truth

Edit

After seeing the last two post I'll change my post a bit.

 

Hmm

 

1. The family gives of the hints that somethings a miss, I mean if the girl cheated on him numbers of times, they talk about her, but put up a friendly face when talking to her, saying they should get back together, and congrats her is weird.

 

2. Also like you said you got to wonder if they are doing the same thing to you which in the case is messed up. Far as I know you did nothing bad to make them do that.

 

3. Him and his ex thing. That also kind ponders me. If you two broke up, then friends with her, then you got back to getter but then act like that begs the question, why? Why add her after you two broke up? Was he looking for someone he knew for awhile to talk to or something, but then talk shit about her?

 

 

It seems you need a talk with your boyfriend. Things aren't adding up. Seems a bit suspicious. And whatever happens go for the right answers no matter how hard they are to get to or to hear.

 

But he is right about the family thing, it's you two not them that needs to work out this relationship

 

Also if you're stress you need to calm down and assess the situation, I know you are having problems but stressing a lot won't help. Keep a steady mind. Step back, breath and relax.

 

To number 3, that girl isn't his ex. They were never together, they never hooked up, were never an item, never slept together. They were best friends for 15 years. She started to talk mad shit on me, so my bf defended me and stopped talking to her. But 2 days after we broke up, he friended her on Facebook. They haven't talked since then and he hasn't seen her for almost a year, but when I questioned why he would be friends with her again when all he does is talk shit on her, he never answers. I know deep inside theres still a piece of him that still likes her. He swears he doesn't, but I don't quite fully believe it. She's even single now. However, he doesn't talk to her or hang out with her. They just re added each other on Facebook. I don't know what to think about it.

 

My personal opinion is I don't think a guy who's playing you would go to that extent to please you. I think he genuinely cares for you, Dawn. He's right about the fact you two aren't dating his friends and family, you're dating each other. I think you should take the time to concentrate on working out your relationship now and ignore what everyone else thinks. It's not really any of their business, is it?

 

If it wasn't, I wouldn't post it lol Im inviting people into my business and I appreciate the advice. Thank you

To number 3, that girl isn't his ex. They were never together, they never hooked up, were never an item, never slept together. They were best friends for 15 years. She started to talk mad shit on me, so my bf defended me and stopped talking to her. But 2 days after we broke up, he friended her on Facebook. They haven't talked since then and he hasn't seen her for almost a year, but when I questioned why he would be friends with her again when all he does is talk shit on her, he never answers. I know deep inside theres still a piece of him that still likes her. He swears he doesn't, but I don't quite fully believe it. She's even single now. However, he doesn't talk to her or hang out with her. They just re added each other on Facebook. I don't know what to think about it.

 

 

 

If it wasn't, I wouldn't post it lol Im inviting people into my business and I appreciate the advice. Thank you

 

Oh OK then, I got confused there. I guess I miss read something. Hmm well there might be small hidden feelings there. Ah FB I see...Yeah FB just.... ugh.. I have no tips on FB with relationships because I barely even touch FB since I think it's the root of all evil. lol

 

But anyways ok she talked smack about you he defended you, they stop talking to each other, after the break up they added each other on FB but haven't talk since. But when she is brought up he talks smack about her Hmm interesting.

Edited May 14, 201213 yr by The One Truth

Awww, I just want to hug you right now! I'm so sorry you've been going through all this! Unfortunately, I don't feel like I can give good advice on this matter, mostly due to lack of life experience, but I agree with what everyone else has been saying on this thread, and I wish you the best of luck in overcoming your current situation. In the meantime, please accept my virtual hug and moral support. *hugs you* http://kh13.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/happy.png

Awww, I just want to hug you right now! I'm so sorry you've been going through all this! Unfortunately, I don't feel like I can give good advice on this matter, mostly due to lack of life experience, but I agree with what everyone else has been saying on this thread, and I wish you the best of luck in overcoming your current situation. In the meantime, please accept my virtual hug and moral support. *hugs you* http://kh13.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/happy.png

 

Aww thank you :')

 

*hugssss*

I really really don't know what to tell you. (Maybe it just cause it's late or somethin.) But I will say this.

If it don't work out with your boyfriend again. I say give up dating for a while . Stay focused on school and finding a job.

Inserting spoiler because of wall of text.

 

 

 

Must you and your boyfriend bother to think about what others think about your relationship? Must you follow what other people say about your relationship? You and your boyfriend better not be bothered and get mental abused by this people. By people, I mean his and your family/friends. Sure you can follow an advice or two from your family/friends but not those 'Gossipy, this person does that, should do this, do that' crap.

 

Deleting 'friends' from Facebook is the most immature thing ever. That is to show how much of a child-mind that person is. So you and boyfriend better stop doing that. If they are the one who are feeling awkward around you and your boyfriend, let them delete you from Facebook, not you and your boyfriend delete theirs.

 

To be honest, I don't think you and your boyfriend need to think about what other people said about the both of you. Thats the most important thing. You can just let them tell you shit and let those words go out the other side of your ear. Its not about who says who all the time.

 

It doesn't matter if the both of you jump the gun. The two of you now love each other and thats it. Love each other. Trust each other. Don't doubt for a second and just love each other.

 

And tell your boyfriend not to be bothered by stupid remarks from his friends and family if they talk bad about you. I know he will feel irritated when his friends and family will talk bad about you but just tell him to ignore those remarks. Trust me. I as a boyfriend had done that before and it just to make them know you heard what they said and they will come at you hard. It will make the situation worse. Its ok to feel irritated but don't fight back.

 

I don't know you and your boyfriend but, Please. Just leave the past behind and the both of you just continue with your couple life. Don't bother what they say about you and your boyfriend. I'm saying that a lot because thats the most important thing. Ex- girlfriend/boyfriend/whatevercrap just throw it all away and move on. Trust me. You will laugh about it in the future.

 

I am not giving you advice but I'm giving you AND your boyfriend advice, because my girlfriend and I had almost the same experience as you guys did. Just that our problems was with our friends and they make it sound like a big thing.

 

You and your boyfriend can continue to love you friends and family but just don't bring this shitty situation out. If they ever bring it up again, or maybe everyday, just don't bother and ignore it. Their personality are already like that and can't be changed. Just focus on your studies, your job, and your relationship.

 

The both of you have no idea how high the two of you can fly later in the future. Just be patience.

 

Patience is you and your boyfriend's ultimate weapon. Trust me.

 

Inserting spoiler because of wall of text.

 

 

 

Must you and your boyfriend bother to think about what others think about your relationship? Must you follow what other people say about your relationship? You and your boyfriend better not be bothered and get mental abused by this people. By people, I mean his and your family/friends. Sure you can follow an advice or two from your family/friends but not those 'Gossipy, this person does that, should do this, do that' crap.

 

Deleting 'friends' from Facebook is the most immature thing ever. That is to show how much of a child-mind that person is. So you and boyfriend better stop doing that. If they are the one who are feeling awkward around you and your boyfriend, let them delete you from Facebook, not you and your boyfriend delete theirs.

 

To be honest, I don't think you and your boyfriend need to think about what other people said about the both of you. Thats the most important thing. You can just let them tell you shit and let those words go out the other side of your ear. Its not about who says who all the time.

 

It doesn't matter if the both of you jump the gun. The two of you now love each other and thats it. Love each other. Trust each other. Don't doubt for a second and just love each other.

 

And tell your boyfriend not to be bothered by stupid remarks from his friends and family if they talk bad about you. I know he will feel irritated when his friends and family will talk bad about you but just tell him to ignore those remarks. Trust me. I as a boyfriend had done that before and it just to make them know you heard what they said and they will come at you hard. It will make the situation worse. Its ok to feel irritated but don't fight back.

 

I don't know you and your boyfriend but, Please. Just leave the past behind and the both of you just continue with your couple life. Don't bother what they say about you and your boyfriend. I'm saying that a lot because thats the most important thing. Ex- girlfriend/boyfriend/whatevercrap just throw it all away and move on. Trust me. You will laugh about it in the future.

 

I am not giving you advice but I'm giving you AND your boyfriend advice, because my girlfriend and I had almost the same experience as you guys did. Just that our problems was with our friends and they make it sound like a big thing.

 

You and your boyfriend can continue to love you friends and family but just don't bring this shitty situation out. If they ever bring it up again, or maybe everyday, just don't bother and ignore it. Their personality are already like that and can't be changed. Just focus on your studies, your job, and your relationship.

 

The both of you have no idea how high the two of you can fly later in the future. Just be patience.

 

Patience is you and your boyfriend's ultimate weapon. Trust me.

 

 

We're still not at the love stage yet, but he said the same thing. He said it's about us, how we feel towards each other and that we're together is all that matters. He's right and so are you. I'm just going to let everything go because it really doesn't matter. We're happy and if someone does say anything about me, he defends me. And I do the same for him. Patience is definitely important and thats my problem.. I have very little to none lol but Im learning I have to learn to be patient and live in the moment. He thinks we could have a future together, so why rush it? Enjoy now and keep going

It doesn't matter what 'Stage' you guys in. Love is still love and thats what the both of you felt towards each other.

 

You just basically gave your own advice so remember what you've said. Good luck to the both of you.