WHY DOES EVERYONE I PUNCH TRY TO STALK ME?!
Your move...

Edited June 2, 201411 yr by Firaga Sensei

SPACE DUCKS.

Zoro: What is it?

 

Luffy: It's our new flag!

 

Zoro: Yeeeah, but what's it supposed to be of?

 

Luffy: *shows flag with picture of horse with an erection on it* It's a horse doing Zumba, but note the eyes: his confusion from his poor coordination is compounded by his inability to express his emotions.

 

Zoro: Why does it have an erection...?

 

Luffy: ... For glory, Zoro, for glory!!

 

==============================

 

Zoro: ... You went so stark raving mad when we told you we we're gonna change it, that you started huffing paint thinner and then you freaked out and put horse boners are everything! *shows that Going Merry is covering with pictures of horse boners*

 

==============================

 

*on island*

 

Usopp: It's a good thing we found this island. I don't think we would have lasted much longer out there.

 

Zoro: Dude, I'm pretty sure you just did more exposition than the narrator.

 

Narrator: And then Zoro fell into a f*cking coma, because he's an OVERLY CRITICAL ASS! *Zoro falls asleep*

Dandy Man: I may or may not have fed a lie to the local polizia that in return for your capture, I'd give them immortality...

 

Alucard: And the f**king bought that?!

 

Dandy Man: Like discount piche.

 

Alucard: You cheeky d**k waffle!

I don't need a piece of paper to tell me how to swim or f*dolphin noise*k Dean Winchester.

Najenda: What about you, Shelee?

Shelee: *Blank stare*

Najenda: Shelee!

Shelee: Oh, uh, sure, I'll cut them off if he doesn't join.

Tatsumi: Wait, what?!

Bulat: SHE MEANS YOUR JUNK.

 

 

 

Najenda: Akame, you're in charge of his training. Just... Go well.

Akame: Aight.

 

 

Tatsumi: Okay, is that everything? O-oh, wait, I have to do that. *Clears throat* In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my stabby sight. Let those who worship... the bads... to die. Beware our power... NIGHT RAID! Yeaaah...

 

 

Tatsumi: Before you kill me, I've gotta ask one thing. Is pink your favorite color?

Mine: Yeah...

Tatsumi: Ah, good to kno- AAAAH.

Edited December 12, 201410 yr by Shulk

Leone: Heeey, don't look so glum, chum! You read to do some killin'?! *rests boobs on Tatsumi's head* 

 

Tatsumi: Aaaahh! *backs off* Get those monsters away from me!!

 

Leone: Aw, they're not that big.

 

Tatsumi: Those aren't breasts! They're tumors!

 

Leone: *shoves Tatsumi into her chest again* Awwww, youuu... so, you ready to kill some bitches?

 

================================

 

*Night Raid theme playing in background*

 

Najenda: We're a group created by the Revolutionary Army to carry out all assassinations and dark shit that no one else wants to deal with.

 

Tatsumi: Oh, you're like janitors then.

 

*record scratch*

 

Mine: What?

 

Najenda: You wanna interrupt me again like that...?

 

Tatsumi: *scared* No, hahaha, you can continue, hahahahaha...

 

Najenda: As I was saying...

 

================================

 

Najenda: Well, if no one else has any reason why Tatsumi shouldn't join...

 

Lubbock: Well, I haven't said my thoughts about him yet.

 

Mine: No one cares what you think, Moss Head!

 

Lubbock: HEY! SCREW YOU!

 

================================

 

*flasback to mission briefing for Ogre*

 

Leone: Alright, you see this guy? *refers to picture of Ogre*

 

Tatsumi: Yeah? Why?

 

Leone: His name is Ogre. This son-of-a-bitch is one of the worst people in the Capital and is responsible for many innocent deaths.

 

Tatsumi: Okay, so what does that have to do with me?

 

Leone: Go kill him.

 

Tatsumi: Just like that?! What about training?!

 

Akame: This is your training.

 

Tatsumi: Don't you think you're rushing things a bit here?!

 

Akame: Eh. You'll be fine. Now go get 'em, tiger.

 

*back to present time with Tatsumi facing Ogre*

 

Tatsumi: *thinks* I hate those guys.

Edited December 12, 201410 yr by Firaga Sensei

sasuke and gaara ABRIDGED! [Machinima #24]

Behold, my SusanooSusawhat?my Susanoosusasoo?SusanooSusanna?Susanoo!Sasunoo!Yes... No!Susayes!Susanooooo!Soprano!Susanooooo!

 

Purple stuff.

 

Eh, close enough. 

Edited December 15, 201410 yr by Soul Eater Evans

That's not an abridged series, Soul...

That's not an abridged series, Soul...

I know, but I thought it would go here.It was from the storm 3 abridged cutscene, if that counts.

Edited December 16, 201410 yr by Soul Eater Evans

I know, but I thought it would go here.It was from the storm 3 abridged cutscene, if that counts.

 

Again, not really an abridged series. It's just done in the style of one.

From the only abridged series I've watched as of now :Alucard: Sweet black fvcking Sabbath. If I wasn't holding up with that beast of a woman Integra, I'd fvck the red right out of those eyes.........well, kinda like that, only with less symbolism and more my penis in your vagina.Alucard: Excuse me, but I'm a fvckmothering vampire. I killed a lot of people to get this title, I deserve to be called such!Alucard: You done goofed.Anderson: How the blood soaked protestant hell did you do that?Alucard: Fvck you, that's how.Integra: No.Alucard: Bet you I'm right.Integra: Bet you, you're wrong.Alucard: Bet you, you're a skank.Integra: You bet you, you're an asshole.Alucard: BITCH, I EAT PEOPLE!!Ok, I'm done now. ^.^ 

HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED TO DO

 

YOU GO DOWN TO THE LOCAL PHARMACY

 

ASK FOR SOMETHING CALLED VIAGRA

 

AND IT'LL HELP YOU GO F*** YOURSELF!

^^^^Quotaaaaa!

"Do do do do doooo... I'm gonna f*ck you in the ass!"

 

"FUKIN SUKS!"

 

"Son of a bitch! GRRR!"

 

"I'm gonna f*ck this chicken!"

OKAY, so, i was just chillin in my room LIKE A BALLER, and then these guys busted in the door and were all like "get on your knees" and im all like "im not your mother last night." they took exception to that, so i had to kill all but one of them. 

what happened to the last one?

PUSS*ED OUT LIKE A BITCH. On the bright side, i got to cancel my room service.

(paraphrasing, of course.)

Android 16: I have spotted a pelican. So majesti-

 

Pelican: *squawk*

 

Android 16: So maje-

 

Pelican: *squawk*

 

Android 16: Maje-

 

Pelican: *squawk*

 

Android 16: That is a big bird.

 

======================================

 

Gohan: We've been here for 20 hours? How?

 

Goku: That's what makes it Hyper Sonic, Gohan.

 

Mr. Popo: Goku?

 

Goku: Yeah-huh? *SMACK* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...!!

 

======================================

 

Android 17: What's going on over there?

 

Android 16: Dodge.

 

Android 17: Dodge wha-*gets punched by Piccolo*

 

======================================

 

Android 17: S-seriously, what the Hell's a Kami?

 

Piccolo: I means God. Now bow. *BLAST*

 

======================================

 

Piccolo: *firing multiple blasts with Scatter Shot*

 

Android 17: *standing still* Um, I stopped dodging! Seriously, are you even trying to hit me?

 

Piccolo: No!

 

Android 17: What the Hell do you mean "No!"?! *gasps and looks at energy balls surrounding him* Oh... Ohhhhhhh.... Ohhhhhhh shiiiit.

 

Piccolo: Hellzone Grenade! *pulls energy balls together*

 

Android 17: Aw man, it's even got a cool name. *BLAST*

 

======================================

 

Yamcha: I've been stabbed and blown up too, and dumped by the only girlfriend I ever had!

 

Krillin: Same. But you know the difference? When mine left, she took all my money. When yours left, she took all her money.

 

Yamcha: ...

 

Roshi: ... Gonna need a Senzu for that one.

Narrator: Will Black Star has the strength to defeat Mifune? Find out next episode when-

 

Black Star: Killing Move! Black Star's Big Wave!! *defeats Mifune*

 

Mifune: AAAAAGH!

 

Narrator: Or, right now. Whichever works. I don't give a shit anymore...

 

======================================================

 

Liz: Kid, you okay? You seem very quiet.

 

Death The Kid: Well... its just that... I can't live without a McDonald's Value Meal!

 

Liz: Yes, you can, let's go... *drags Kid*

 

Death The Kid: No, I can't! I can't go on!

 

======================================================

 

Crona: I have a huge sword.

 

Maka: I have a huge scythe.

 

Crona: I'm a transvestite.

 

Maka: Uh, g-good for you...

 

Ragnarok: *in slow motion* I'm a maaaaaaan! *explodes*

 

======================================================

 

Masamune: So, little sis, welcome to my crib. What do you think?

 

Tsubaki: It smells like Cheetos in here...

 

Masmune: YOUR F*CKING HOUSE SMELLS LIKE CHEETOS! *coughs* Sorry. Anyway, lets begin.

 

======================================================

Edited March 27, 201510 yr by Firaga Sensei

"this is it, this is the year i get my penis back from that dolphin that stole it. Im coming for you dolphin, and im going to steal your penis"

super ultra mega hero powers activate!

"I AM THE HYPE"

So, just a reminder that this thread is in fact still a thing, here's some more quotes from Akame Ga Kill! Abridged:

 

"Only the important players are allowed down there." "Then why aren't you with them?" "... Shut up."

 

"Please don't kill me!" "Wait... you don't want me to cleanse you?" "No!" "Well, why didn't you say so?" "Oh thank f*cking G-*killed* "DON'T USE DIRTY LANGUAGE!"

 

"That is an alarming amount of blood."

 

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BITCH, YOU GENERIC PIECE OF SHIT?! ... YES, MY BOY, IT IS I: SHIA LEBOUF! YOUR BELOVED F*CKBUDDY. NOW BRING IT ON IN AND GIVE ME A HUG. DO IT! ... I GOT AN UPGRADE, NOW HUG ME FAGET!"

 

"This is a miracle. I'll never give you up." "... But will you let me down?"

 

"Alright... so he can read my mind... I just have to not think of something that'll tick him off... like his teeth... being absolutely disgusting... ohshitwaitIhopehedidn'thearthat!!"

 

"Goddammit, I couldn't see her panties." "FILTHY!!"

 

"'Sup?" "Akame, what are you doing here?" "I dunno."

 

"Are you here for your cleansing as well?" "I dunno."

 

"You must eat me Akame! EEEEEEEAT MEEEEEEE!!!"

"Get that bitch a cannon! Bitches love cannons!"

Yes!

 

(I know this is late, by a lot)

Yes!

 

(I know this is late, by a lot)

 

No problem. It's a classic.