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So.....Kingdom Hearts 1....

Posted

"Wait....this isn't about a character....it's about an entire game!" http://kh13.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/ohmy.png

 

That's right, this thread is gonna be a little different. Instead of making jokes about KH characters....we're gonna go through an entire game! :D

 

This is how it'll work: Like going through appearances with characters, we're gonna list our bullet points based on elements of 2002's KH1, the start of a beautiful walk down a magical road we call the Kingdom Hearts Wet Dr--I MEAN, uh, Franchise...heh......these'll be things like the FMVS, the cutscenes, the gameplay, the enemies, and stuff like that. Simple, right? And FYI....since this is the first game, and regardless of whether you picked this up at age 6 or 16, the stuff that makes up Kingdom Hearts 1 was fairly new to us all, so let's keep things at a rate where we won't spoil games introduced in the games that follow (i.e. Even though Riku was being a body-bitch to Ansemand all that, I can't say "here marks a road to total emoness....because that'd spoil Days.)

 

So, here we go. Anything I list can be used and anything not listed can be added by you (i.e. a specific cut-scene or event)

 

[This is me at age 8, BTW...]

  • Opening FMV: Uh.....alright, that happened.
  • Awakening Stage: Ooh, what happens if I jump off the--hey, I didn't fall. Oh well.
  • VS Darkside: Holy crud, this guy is scary! And ugly! And....is his hand pooping out more of those black ant things? 0-0 Oh well. LEEEEROY JENKINS!
  • Meeting Wakka, Tidus, and Selphie: I have no idea who these three jerk-offs are....but they seem unimportant.
  • Racing Riku: I'm gonna win! I'm gonna win! I'm gonna (FALL)....fail. I am going to fail. http://kh13.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/dry.png
  • Heartless Invade Destiny Islands: Hey, hey....why aren't these guys dying?! (10 minutes later) Screw it! I'm running!
  • Riku Extends His Hand And Ditches Me: You jerk. :angry:
  • Pluto Finds Me: Ah! Dog slobber. Hey, where you going? (doesn't see for rest of game) Well, you're important to the plot... http://kh13.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/dry.png
  • Exploring Traverse Town: I'm jumping off this mutha firetrucking buildiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.....and I didn't break my ankles. I hear by dub this KH LOGIC.
  • Sora's Creepy Ass Smile: 0-0....dude. Please stop.
  • Meeting Queen Of Hearts: :mellow:... You're a mean, mean, lady.... :angry:
  • Exploring Wonderland: It's even crazier than the movie! D:
  • VS Cloud: Oh.....fudge.
  • VS Cerberus: AH! Nice doggie! Nice doggie (runs around like my ass is on fire, dodging the Darkness pillars.)
  • All Of Deep Jungle: :D Love it!
  • The Beginning Of Agrabah: Hey, It's an Aladdin world :) and--what, Mom? I gotta take it back?! Biscuits! (I didn't really say biscuits, I just wanted to add something an 8 year old would say...)
Well, this is all I can tell you....yeah, I know, I didn't finish the bloody game! You think I'm happy with that? No. Frickin rentals. If I had a PS2 again....actually, screw it. HURRY UP WITH THE DAMN HD COLLECTION!

 

Well, I should stop spouting nonsense, now. Leave your feedback below.

Edited by Firaga96

Featured Replies

Exploring Traverse Town: *wanders around for 3 hours before finding the alleyway door, FINALLY ending the Donald-and-Goofy-just-missed-you-goose-chase*

Finishes game and replays it up to heartless invasion.

 

W-w-w-w-w-w-wait! Sora, how come you skipped mommy's dinner!? bad boy.

 

Also in destiny Islands for final fantasy fan-kids

 

*looks around on the sculptures in the secret place* Oh look! Donalds on one of 'em! and hes standin next to a chocobo! Spoiler alerts for the win!! *finishes game* where the hell is the CHOCOBO?!

Me 13

  • Opening: This song will soon be my life
  • Heartless Invade Destiny Islands: WHY IS EVERYTHING DARK!? OH I FOUND THE SHED... -saves-.. now I can't find the way out
  • Exploring Traverse Town: This song is also my life
  • Sora's Happy Face: Can my eyes do that?
  • Wonderland: ALICE YOU'RE NOT A PRINCESS
  • Deep Jungle: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHH
  • Halloween Town: WHY IS IT DARK AGAIN!?
  • Hollow Bastion: heeheee Kairi's inside Sora

Exploring Traverse Town: *wanders around for 3 hours before finding the alleyway door, FINALLY ending the Donald-and-Goofy-just-missed-you-goose-chase*

 

LoL, that's exactly like it happened to me

(sorry they're all spaced out. I keep thinking of more!)

 

Hollow Bastion: YES! I'm a HEARTLESS! Where are you, heartless brethren?! Let us commune! ... ... ... *forever alone*

 

Hollow Bastion: Goes skydiving as a heartless because too lazy to take the stairs.

Wonderland: Hitting the Queen of Hearts so she flips and her undergarments are showing... hehe dat butt

 

Olympus Coliseum: Fighting through the first tournament beating Cloud then immediately trying to take on Cerberus without reloading potions or getting cure... so screwed!

 

Neverland and Agrabah: Visiting after your second trip to Hollow Bastion... really screwed!

 

Olympus Coliseum: Entering the Platinum Match for the first time... super screwed!

Oooh! And don't forget

 

Collecting Raft Provisions:

Uh, Kairi... Are you sure we only need a few fish, some coconuts, an egg, and three mushrooms to survive on that raft...? *collects 50 coconuts, just to be safe*

Opening FMV: ooooo ahhhhhh

Awakening Stage: where the hell is this kid

VS Darkside: I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON

Meeting Wakka, Tidus, and Selphie: OH MY GOD ITS WAKKA AND TIDUS. Who is she?

Racing Riku: *does this for 50x because my brother wants me to get this item 5048450894x*

Heartless Invade Destiny Islands: dieeeeeee *an hour later* why aren't u guys dying *runs away to attack more and goes into a cutscene*

Riku Extends His Hand And Ditches Me: 8D im so confused right now

Pluto Finds Me: PLUTOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Exploring Traverse Town: Where do I go? Do I go over here? Why is there no music? Whats going on? Where is Goofy and Donald?

Sora's Creepy Ass Smile: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH STOP PLEASE

Meeting Queen Of Hearts: OH YUSS BABY! OFF WITH UR HEAD!

Exploring Wonderland: I wanna fight moar cards :<

All Of Deep Jungle: Tarzannn

The Beginning Of Agrabah: OH MY GOD ALADDIN. *Stays here for months and months and keeps on fighting Jafar for eternity*

 

 

i was like 3 - 5 when i was playing this

yep

ill add more l8er

Edited by Shana09

WHERE IS THE FREAKING SEAGULL E- Oh, thanks Selphie

 

Cerberus has ANOTHER hp bar?!

 

I am SICK of watching this scene before Riku/Ansem fight again and again.

 

Heh Heh, Donald hit Sora's heartless on the head.

 

This last world is creeping me out.

 

heh heh Ansem went boom

Heartless invade the island

Me: AUGGH ATTTAACCCK!

-dies-

ATTTACK!

-dies-

RUN TO THE SMALL ISLAND!

-can't find stairs, dies-

RUN TO THE SECRET PLACE!

-dies-

ROW BACK ON THE LITTLE BOAT!

-dies-

Me: Aw screw this.

-goes online and read walkthrough-

Huh? OHHHHH you go through the little staircase thingy. xD

fighting the guard armor in traverse town: im just gonna sit on the roof here and let donald and goofy take care of this....

Ursula: pish posh, Ill whack her to death! 2 hours later~ Yes!

Ursula 2: *keeps failing at staying on her neck to kill her.* whatever, *Casts stop* (makes a horrified expression at Ursulas horrific face.

Halloween town: keeps falling off, taking the ride on the tub

Monstro: Lost. 13 hours later~ ooh I found riku! *dies from parasite cages acid*

Hollow Bastion: *tunes up tv brightness level*. Dies on Riksem to keep seeing him backslap donald away

Ending: someone just JUMP! Dumb***es.

Credits: ~When you walk away, you don't hear me say PLEEEEEASE oh baby, don't go~

Secret ending: oh damn I cant wait for this movie.

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