_EPISODE 1_

 

Setting: A huge Kingdom Hearts logo with a keyblade spinning around in the middle. An intro with the title shows up on the screen...transitioning to a backdrop of the same logo, with Sora, standing in place.

 

Sora: Holy smokes, baloney, fudge and mustard, stop the presses and stop the internet!! If you are a member of KH13, and are loading this up your internet machine....you're here. Now, stand, the F**K UP!!

 

(No one stands up. Not even the cast members off screen watching)

 

Sora: -__-....Well, anyways....welcome to 5 Questions With The Kingdom Hearts Cast....where the most important questions on the face of this planet are answered....these, my friends (holds up paper) are the questions. And we (spreads arms out) We...have the answers....the answers to existance! (raises fist)

 

Riku: (Off-stage): By God, you're a ham.

 

Sora: (looks to Riku): By God, you're a homo.

 

(off-screen cast "OOOOHHHH"s in unison.)

 

Riku: -__-....just start the f*king show.

 

Sora: Alrighty then! First question....

 

(record skip, pause)

 

Hi, Firaga96. You know, I was going to make up stuff at this point, but then i thought, "Hey, why not get some actual questions going?"

 

So, KH13.com, I'm leaving the rest to you. Post some questions, being about anything you want to ask Sora, and once I get five, I'll continue the story from there. If you didn't get your question in, you can always ask another one for another character.

Edited October 14, 201213 yr by Firaga96

I have BQ Sauce! I shall eat this delicous duck! Or will I? I MAY HAVE filled out a document to eat this duck, unless I get a really good reason why I shouldn't eat this duck.

 

If you eat him, I shut down 5 Questions. Seriously, I am going to have a BIG LAWSUIT on my hands.

If you eat him, I shut down 5 Questions. Seriously, I am going to have a BIG LAWSUIT on my hands.

Okay, fine....

Larxene:

Heartless

Nobody

Reason?
Antennae.

 

Thoughts?

Larxene:

Heartless

Nobody

Reason?

Antennae.

 

Thoughts?

 

Ah, maybe I'll continue the bit from Episode 7.

Ah, maybe I'll continue the bit from Episode 7.

 

I still say that we do Larxene.

I still say that we do Larxene.

 

That bit involves Larxene, silly.

That bit involves Larxene, silly.

Oh, okay.

 

 

 

 

To Larxene:

 

 

 

You are a filthy woman, you have no life, seriously, no one LOVES YOU!!! You are better off dead, than alive!!!!! Go jump off a cliff you ugly, dirty skunk!!!! You don't deserve your powers anyway. Larxene? More like Lamexene!!!

Edited March 2, 201312 yr by Tom13

Terra: Why didn't you stop yourself when it came to darkness? You're a smart guy. You knew when you went too far.

 

Aqua: You are epic, and nobody can deny that. How did that come to be? :huh:

 

Ven: Picture this: Everyone that's backstage with you BUT you is falling to their doom. Who would you save if you could only save one person? Just wanna know.

 

Vanitas: ...you realize...you have so many fangirls...you could start a whole army...? :mellow:

Oh, Larxene! Here comes part 2 of my rant about you that shall be heard in the next part of your showtime!!!

 

 

 

 

You are an old lady with no sense of self, you are an insane dumb old sloth, with no brains!!!! You are TERRIBLE at magic and FIGHTING!!! You are as terrible as Xemnas!!!

Larxene: Seriously you are in need of getting your bugged face being beat by Replica Riku.

Ladies and gentleman, it gives me great pleasure to officially announce that Larxene of the former Organization 13 is going to be the host of the next episode of 5 Questions With The Kingdom Hearts Cast--

 

Larxene: Why the hell can't I say that myself?! And why am I in a straight jacket and tied to a chair?

 

Um, uh, safety precautions.

 

Lea: (whispers) Psst... hey, boss, I took care of Larxene like you said.

 

(whispering back) Good job. (fist bump with Lea)

 

Larxene: Why are you two fist bumping?!

 

Lea: Later! (dashes away)

 

Just sit tight, Larxene.

 

Larxene: Screw that, I'm not shuttin' up until I get some damn--

(Sora shoves a papou in her mouth)

 

Sora: That'll hold her for a while.

 

Much appreciated.

 

Larxene: (looks at Sora) (muffled ranting)

 

Sora: I'm just doing what I have to do.

Larxene: (even more muffled ranting)

 

Sora: What? You can't prove that. That elephant had it coming!

 

Elephant?

 

Sora: Nothing! I didn't mean it!

 

.... Okay then... anyways, we have already gathered a lot of questions for Larxene, so we are more than ready to start filming.

 

Sora: You mean you writing the script?

 

Don't break kayfabe, Sora!

 

Sora: Barely anyone on this site knows what that means!

SILENCE! (thunder cloud rumbles)

 

Sora: 0-e... alright, alright, geez.

 

Anyways, Episode 14 should be out in the next couple of weeks or so...

 

Larxene: (curious mumbling)

 

Well, I don't know, Larxene, wouldn't you want to wait until we film the episode?

 

Larxene: (demanding mumbling)

 

I'm just Saiyan, it's more of a surprise if you wait, and--

 

Larxene: (angry mumbled ranting)

 

Okay, I'm not taking this anymore. Ladies and jellyfish, look out for Princess PMS coming to host the next episode of 5 Q's.

 

Larxene: (mumbled) Princess PMS?!

 

Would you prefer the Countess Of Crazy? I got tons more.

 

Larxene: (rants like crazy and rocks in her chair)

 

Make sure to tune in. Until then, we gotta go give Larxene her happy pill and then get her ready to film.

 

Sora: Script.

 

FILM... and anyways, goodbye for now.

 

Sora: Uh, boss?

 

What?

 

(Sora points to a now open door in the studio where Larxene has escaped her chair and is now running around outside in her straight jacket, flailing around and shooting lighting/obscenites)

 

(facepalm) Sora...

 

Sora: Yeah, yeah, I got it. (summons Keyblade) One good Stop spell oughta do it. (chases after Larxene)

Edited March 9, 201312 yr by Firaga96

Oh my!

How do you flail in a straight-jacket?

How do you flail in a straight-jacket?

 

Misprint. Sorry.

Misprint. Sorry.

No, I like it.

Larxene's contorted, shooting lightning and obscenities, and completely unable to use her arms.

No, I like it.

Larxene's contorted, shooting lightning and obscenities, and completely unable to use her arms.

 

Oh, that actually works. lol

O_o  I knew Larxene was a crazy, irritating bitch before but, wow.

To Goofy:

 

To Goofy:

 

 

Goofy: ... I don't get it.  :mellow:

_EPISODE 14_ ..... At least... the introduction...

 

(In the studio, the room is pitch black, and there is no sound and lights on... then, you can hear some shuffling and mumbling as everybody gets in their place)

 

Do we have speed?

 

Sora: We have speed.

 

Do we have clearance?

 

Kairi: We have clearance.

 

Where's the echo at?

 

(toilet flush, Riku walks out of the bathroom)

 

Riku: Taken care of.

 

Alrighty then.... cue the lights!

 

(lights flash on)

 

???: AH! MY EYES!

 

Calm down, Ienzo. You need light.

 

Ienzo: No, I do not! (runs and hides in the corner)

 

-__- What a baby. Anyways, cue sound!

 

(a spotlight appears on Neku who is sitting behind a DJ's desk and sound system) (scratch, scratch)

 

Neku: We up and ready to bounce, hommie.

 

Word.

 

Sora: Okay, what?

 

What? Neku's a gangsta. You didn't know that?

 

Sora: No.

 

Well, shoot, he's always got that hoodie and those headphones on, you didn't notice?

 

Sora: No, I have not. That's wiggity wiggity whack!

Kairi: Whattity whatitty what?

Okay, now you just ruined it. -__- And dammit, where's Larxene? The shows about to start, and I've heard word from the back that shes in the makeup room. Did you catch her, Sora?

 

Sora: Uh....

 

Dude. Don't do this to me. Did you catch her?

Sora: Heh. (starts sweating) Well, uh, heh, you see, uh, I, um, uh, uh, I.... (deflated) No. No, I did not catch her.

 

(facepalm) Moses Malone... if she's not here in the next few minutes, I'm afraid that this episode will have to be... cancelled.

 

(over exaggerated piano riff (DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN))

 

Not needed, but thanks anyway, ATW.

 

ATW: Of course, sir.

 

(sigh) Alright, Sora, I want that honey haired bitch back here ASAP. And you mess up again, then mark my words... (cuts throat with imaginary knife while making "chhh!" sound)

 

Kairi: (gasp) Nuuuuu! Don't kill my Sora! D:(huggles Sora tight) 

 

Sora: (wheezes) A little too tight there.

 

Kill? What? No. I just meant I'd cut off your shampoo supply privileges.

 

Sora: (gasps, still wheezing) That's even worse!

 

Now, I want you back here by 0500 hours.

 

Sora: Five hundred hours! We'll all be grandmas and grandpas by then!

 

(facepalm)

Kairi: (facepalm)

 

You really do suck at math, don't you?

 

(door bursts open)

 

Halt, who goes there?! (holds up gold katana)

 

???: Hey, hey, easy there! It's just me, Lea. Got it memorized? Oh, and by the way, I got Larxene.

 

Oh, really?

 

Lea: Yep. Here she is (throws a tied up. Larxene on the ground, kicking and screaming)

 

Aw, geez. (pulls out walky talky) Demyx, get in here and drag Larxene to her room, over.

 

(static)

 

What the--? Demyx, come in. I need you to get Larxene to her room.

 

(more static)

 

I said, "Get Larxene to her room", Demyx, do you copy?!

 

(even more static)

 

I SAID--!

 

(talkie blows water out of a little nozzle on to my face... ugh)

 

.... (spits out water). Yep... get a walkie talkie, walkie talkie is a prank. Get sprayed in the face.

 

Riku: That's what--

 

NO! NONE OF THAT!

 

Riku: Tee-hee! (runs off)

 

What's with that guy lately?

Kairi: Seriously, I don't even know anymore. -_-

 

(wipes water off) Demyx better get his ass over he--

 

Demyx: Here, boss!

GAH! (eye twitch) Why do you always sneak up on me like that?

 

Demyx: You're lucky that I didn't use my Demyx chop. Then, you would have been killed. ^^ (dashes to Larxene, picks her up, runs to the place he was just at in a flash)

What the fudge?

 

Demyx: Now Imma go make sure this here lady gets her stuff together for the show. SLAMACOW! (dashed off again)

 

.... Can someone give me an explanation of what just happened?

 

Phil: Two words, kid. Chocolate and Adventure Time.

 

Ah, I see. (under breath) And that wasn't two words. OKAY, people, no slacking off! We have a show to run. Larxene should only take so much--

 

(crash from the other room)

 

Uh... she should only take so much--

 

(another crash)

 

She should only take so m--

 

(and another crash)

 

She should--

 

(yet another crash)

 

-_______- Somebody, anybody, go give her the frickin' pill.

 

Namine: I'll do it.

 

Oh? Uh, really?

Namine: Yeah, I don't mind.

 

Well, that's nice of you.

 

Namine: Thanks... it'll give me some time to have a little fun with her (rubs hands together) A little payback for the Castle Oblivion crap... he-he-he-he-he...(walks to Larxene's room)

 

0.o.... (looks to camera) It's always the quiet ones, isn't it? ... Uh, um, the rest of you! Places, places! The show's about to start!

 

X*X*X*X*X

 

I know I'm stalling a bit with this episode, but please understand that I'm having to deal with a lot of personal stuff right now, and that filming--

 

Sora: Scripting.

 

Shut up, filming the Larxene episode might take a little while longer. Don't worry, my Spring Break starts this Thursday, so I'll definetly have some time by then.

So, have you already taken all the questions you need for Larxene? Or can i add one?

That's completely fine Firaga.  ("This Thursday"?  Mine does too.  :mellow: )

Question for Larxy if the questions are still open: What dose Zuse make you do for all that thunder?

To Sora: How many time have you and Riku 'done it'. 

~Regrets nothing.~

_ EPISODE 14 _ (for realsies this time. Pinky swear)

 

RIGHT BEFORE THE "ON AIR" LIGHT GOES ON...

 

(sigh) Finally. FINALLY... Larxene has come back to the studio...

 

(crickets)

 

Sora: Anything relevant to say, Boss?

 

-___- .... Hey, Sora, what's that? (points off stage)

 

Sora: (turns head) Huh? What? Where?

 

(Sora gets whacked with the Pico Pico Hammer by Amy Rose)

 

Sora: (laughs like a dork as he slumps to the ground)

 

Kairi: Hey! That was way out of line!

 

One more word and I'll have Amy smack you too.

 

Kairi: 0.o ... (gulps) (drags Sora offstage)

 

Thank you kindly, Miss Rose.

 

Amy: No problem! Now, about my pay...

 

Let me guess: gold rings?

 

(Amy and I laugh)

 

Amy: Ha, actually, yes, rings, please. ^^

 

o-o. Ah, fine, here. (gives Rose 50 rings) Will this do?

 

Rose: Sure! (takes rings) Now I can buy that special gift for Sonic!

 

You realize you'll never get with him, right?

 

Rose: What? Yes, I will! :angry:

 

Dude. You've were introduced in the 90s and you haven't come CLOSE. Face it: your relationship with him is basically comic relief.

 

Rose: That's not--! I mean, it's not like-! .... ... (hangs head in depression and walks out of studio, dragging sack of rings and Pico Pico Hammer)

 

Riku: Well, that was harsh.

 

The truth hurts, Riku. The truth hurts. (clears throat) Okay, enough distractions and one-offs. We are ready to film! Now, ladies and gentleman, please, at this time, coming to the stage, hailing from the Castle That Never Was, weighing in at 87 Papous... representing the former Organization 13... The Savage Nymph! LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARXEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENE!!!!! ........

 

(spotlight goes in the center of the stage where the camera is rolling... but no one is there)

 

.... okay, where's Larxene?

 

Larxene: (from backstage) I'm not coming out until you do my entrance right!

 

What?! But I did the whole pro-wrestling flair and everything!

 

Larxene: You forgot the other stuff!

 

Oh hell no! There's no way I'm doing any of that!

 

Larxene: Why not?!

 

Why not?! (snaps fingers) Lea, list!

 

Lea: (dashes over and hands me a list that is about 5 feet long, runs back to his place backstage)

 

Let's see, you wanted these crappy things in this crappy order: Balloons, jugglers, confetti, ten inch high heels, dress made of feathers, crown made of bees, staff made of peanut butter, doves, rabbits, goats, demons, fairies... a rubber hose... I don't even... (sigh), snakes, spiders, men wearing nothing but leotards, woman dressed like human jellybeans, rainbow colored finger and toenail polish, clear and silver eyepolish... uh... hair stylized like a cross between Goku and Yugi Moto... a hyrbid pig and duck as a pet... every male member of Org. XIII stripped and dressed in tight leather with collars and leashes to match, oh God. O-O

 

(Male Org. Members almost barf all over the floor)

 

Roxas: You're a sick, sick woman...

 

Namine: That leather thing would be kind of cute on you, though. ^^

 

Roxas: Oh great! She's corrupted your mind!

 

Namine: I KNOW! D: Go away, bad thoughts, go away bad thoughts!

 

Roxas: (shakes Namine like a ragdoll) DON'T GIVE IN TO THE CRAZY!

 

(I bash both Roxas and Namine on the head)

 

R&N: Ow....

 

Can we get through one episode without you two having a dumb ship moment?

 

Roxas: You're the one writing the script...

 

Namine: Isn't that what the fans want?

 

... Well... Uh... I, uh.... oh, gh, just get out of here before I hit you again!

 

R&N: Yessir! (panically runs out of the studio)

 

Anyways... Larxene, there is no damn way that you are getting all of this crap. You either do the damn show, or you can walk your pretty little ass out off this set!

 

Larxene: Oh please. You can't touch this.

 

(Riku jumps out and starts dancing MC Hammer style)

 

(record scratch)

 

Riku, turn around.

 

Riku: What?

 

TURN... AROUND....

 

Riku: Alright, alright, I'm turning around, I'm turning around. (his ass is towards the camera, security keeps back all the raging fangirls ( -_-))

 

(sigh) Now, Riku... look up at the ceiling.

 

Riku: (cocks head up)

 

You see the ceiling?

 

Riku: Yeah?

 

Well, pucker up, boy.

 

Riku: Pucker up? Why?

 

CUZ YOU'RE ABOUT TO KISS IT! (punts Riku straight in the air as he crashes through the roof)

 

Riku: MY GLOOOORIOUS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! DX DX DX (goes even higher than Mansex)

 

Okay, I'm pissed now. Larxene, if you don't come out in the next ten seconds, I will tie you down, rip off your high heels, and tickle your succulent feet until they're bright red!! (gets a weird feeling downstairs) Aw, nuts, bad call...

 

Larxene: o.o. Okay. I'm coming, I'm coming (slowly walks out)

 

Good. Now, Sora, take over for a second. I gotta go to the bathroom (walks awkwardly away)

 

Sora: (looks at camera with cheeky smile) Ain't that scarring, folks? Now, everybody, quiet on the set! We're on in five... four... three... two... (mouths) one... (points at lights and camera) ACTION!

 

ON AIR:

 

Larxene: (composed) Well, hello hello. My name is Larxene, and I'm today's host for 5 Questions With The Kingdom Hearts Cast.

 

Demyx: This episode's gonna have more nuts than a peanut factory!

 

Larxene: And that's the cue.

 

Demyx: What cue?

 

(sound of rope being cut)

 

Demyx: (looks up) Oh, cheese logs. DODGE! (rolls out of the way as an anvil falls on the spot he was at)

 

Larxene: And that's what happens to anyone who mocks me this episode.

 

(Everyone imaginarily zips their lips)

 

Larxene: Now, then, let's all get to the fun. (pulls out papers) Our first question is from Gambler'sApprentice. Ugh, Luxord. Only a mother could love that face.

 

Luxord: What's wrong with the way I look, lass?

 

Larxene: Everything. >

 

Luxord: Now, see, here! (hears slight rumbling above him) ... Shutting up.

 

Larxene: Now, anyways, Gambler'sApprentice wants to know: "(picture of Heartless with antennae, picture of Larxene) Reason? Antennae. Thoughts?" Oh, that's cute... well, really, I just like the way it looks. Its unique, but cute at the same time. Though, if remember correctly, Xion doesn't take too kindly to it... isn't that right, Xion.

 

Xion: Uh, uh, you can't prove that?

 

Larxene: Oh really? (flatly) Monkeys, roll the footage)

 

(Footag Of Episode 7)

 

Xion: Ha, really, are you a Kingdom Hearts character or a Bug's Life extra?

 

(Back To This Episode)

 

Xion: (gulp) Okay, let's not be rash here. (laughs nervously, morphs into crying) (hits her knees) Oh please, for the love of Glob, don't kill me!

 

Larxene: Oh don't worry, I won't... IF...

 

Xion: If?

 

Larxene: IF... you do the splits.

 

Xion: Do the splits.

 

Larxene: Yes! I command you to do the splits! Do the splits, thou milk-livered maggot pie!!

 

Xion: Ah! Okay, okay, I'm doing it (umcortably strecthes out her legs on the ground and does the splits) Ow, ow, ow, ow. (coat tears) AW....

 

Larxene: Good. Now stay like that for the entire episode!

 

Xion: I will! (covers face) Please don't yell anymore!

 

Larxene: He-he-he... alright, next question. This is from Tom13. (skims question) Oh, well this is so sweet. ^^ He says, "You are a filthy woman, you have no life, seriously, no one LOVES YOU!!! You are better off dead, than alive!!!!! Go jump off a cliff you ugly dirty skunk!!!! You don't deserve your powers anyway. Larxene? More like Lamexene!!!" OMG, you are SO thoughtful to say all that (laughs sweetly)

 

Lea: Is... is she serious?

 

(record scratch)

 

Larxene: (stops laughing) No. No it wasn't. (Throws page behind her and eletrocutes it) And if I read another question like, I'm going to hurt someone.

 

Lea: (gulps)

 

Larxene: (more sweetly) Okay, now let's read the thrid question. This one's from Tom13, too... hmm... I have a feeling... (scans paper)... yep. -_- Tom 13 says, "You are an old lady with no sense of self, you are an insane dumb old sloth, with no brains!!!! You are TERRIBLE at magic and FIGHTING!!! You are as terrible as Xemnas".... (sighs, drops papers on the ground) okay, two things. One.... (zaps Lea)

 

Lea: Oh, my eye!

 

Larxene: Two – Look, Tom. If you don't like me, that's fine. But just remember something: I'm a fictional character from a Japanese video game series made by Disney and Square Enix. You know what that means? You're yelling at the wall, jackass. And it doesn't bother me, cuz like I said, I don't even really exist.

 

Lea: What are you babbling about, of course we ex-- (gets zapped again) Ow, my other eye! I'm blind! My eyes!

 

Random Fish: MY EYEEEEEEEES! MY EYEEEEEEEES!

 

Another Fish: My leg!

 

And Another Fish: (in different tone) My leg!

 

Spider-Man: MY MIND!

 

Larxene: ENOUGH ALREADY!!! (shoots thunder shockwave at fish and Spider-Man, causing them to fly out of the building, Wilhelm-screaming, Lea left untouched)

 

Lea: Whew....(gets hit by anvil) (muffled and somewhat flat) Oh, Glob, why?

 

Larxene: Like I was saying, Tom. Take a look at this. (holds up middle finger) This is exactly what you can get for all your gripes. You like that? Good. Here's another one. (holds up another middle finger) There you go. Two for two. And if you need more reassurance, then here: (unzips top of coat to reveal plain black t-shirt with words in big white letters written on the front) Read this: "Go (EF!) Yourself". Alright? "Go". "(EF!)". "Yourself". I should get a t-shirt for everyone else on this cast just in case they want to spread the messsage too.

 

(Cast mumurs in agreement, actually thinking that's a good idea)

 

Larxene: Now, I think we should get to wrapping this episode up with a pretty little bow, should we? (picks papers back up) Next we have Rixku. She asks, "Seriously, you are in need of getting your bugged face being beat by Replica Riku." Really? Really? REEEEEALLY? You think the little bitch clone that I raped in COM can beat me up? HA! He has too many mental scars... right, Repliku?

 

Repliku: It was.... it was.... horrible... (shivers)

 

Larxene: Oh, yes, yes it was... now you do the splits too! Over there, by your sister! (points at Xion)

 

Repliku: Okay, okay! (runs over to Xion and uncomfortably stretches his legs and does the splits right next to Xion) Ow, ow, ow ow ow ow. (tears already tattered skirt) Ah, butternuts.

 

Larxene: Now, both of you stay like that.... he-he-he-he-he....

 

Repliku: Sis. Hold me.

 

Xion: Gotcha.

 

(RR and Xion hug each other and bury their faces in each other's shoulders) 

 

(The Cast would be going "awww" if it weren't for the sheer creepiness of it all)

 

Larxene: Okay, now for the last question of the episode: ItNeverGetsBetterThanThis is asking, "What dose Zuse make you do for all that thunder?" (scoffs) What did Zeus make me do? How about, 'What did I make Zeus do?'" Hercules, get your dad out here.

 

Hercules: (anxiously pushing Zeus into the studio and in view of the camera)

Zeus: But, but, I'm not even part of Kingdom Hearts! All there is is you, Meg, the pony, the goat, and the dumb broad!

 

Meg: What?!

 

Zeus: I was talking about Hades.

 

Meg: Oh.

 

Hades: Hey!

 

Hercules: Sorry, dad. Not my place. Hercules out! (runs back to his trailer)

 

Zeus: Oh my Me... (starts shaking)

 

Larxene: So, Zeusy, tell them about the day we met and how I got my thunder style from you.

 

Zeus: I... barely remember it, really. It was dark, and-and stormy outside. I saw her in front of me. There was a crack of a whip... and then, thunder. But it wasn't from me. Maybe it was the sound of her cracking my spine as she stepped on my spine with her heel... It was awful... I... I... (starts sucking thumb like a baby, hides face from camera)

 

Larxene: Yep. Sounds just like it. Now, shoo shoo, Zeusy, the episode is over now.

 

(Zeus continues to suck his thumb)

 

Larxene: (sigh) Hercules...

 

(Hercules runs back and drags Zeus out of the building)

 

Larxene: Well, that does it for our show.

 

Okay, I'm back. How much damage did Larxene cause, physically and mentally?

 

Lea: Not so bad physically...

 

Oh my Glob, what happened to your eyes?!

 

Lea: My retina's are fried.

 

Okay, uh, how's mental stability doing?

 

Lea: Well... 

 

(I look around to see Repliku and Xion holding each other and doing the splits, Hercules dragging his dad backstage, Luxord drinking his ass off... wait, he always does that, that's normal)

 

Welp, looks like the bill's still pretty high. Larxene, I am dissapointed in you, young lady.

 

Larxene: I don't care! I could care less!

 

Oh, I know. That's why its time for this episode to end with a happy ending...

 

Larxene: What?

 

Pull the lever, Sora!

 

Sora: Right! (pulls lever by the main light switches, ground by him opens up) .... Uh...

 

(suddenly, Riku comes back to Earth, still yelling as he conviently smashes through the roof above the opened floor and falls through hole)

 

Riku: ITHINKTHISMYCUETOSAY,"WRONGLEVEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

 

(splash)

 

Riku: (crawls out of hole, soaking wet, and with a crocodile chewing on his ass) Why do we even have that lever? (grumbles, smacks crocodile behind him, causing it to whimper and crawl back down the hole) (Riku walks off in a huff)

 

Well, that didn't go the way I thought it would.

 

Larxene: (clears throat) Uh, hello? Still here! The camera's still rolling, jackass! Geez, what do I have to do to have the attention stay on me for once!

 

How about losing the attitude, missy? That's a good start.

 

Larxene: That's it! (causes huge electrical shock wave, causing all the lights to go out) Okay, now when the lights go back on, everybody better be ready to stop dicking around and pay attention to me, OR SO HELP ME, GLOB...

 

(loud shuffling)

 

Larxene: What was that?

 

(more shuffling)

 

Larxene: Where's that coming from, I-- (gasp) Hey, get off me! What the-- (muffled out screams as it sounds like people are dog piling her and/or grabbing her and pinning her to the ground)

 

(lights go back on)

 

Larxene: Oh geez, that was so—WHAT THE (H!)!!?? (finds herself strapped in a high rising chair, laying back as her wrists are tied down and her ankles are stuck in stocks)

 

Well, well, welly well well. Looks like all that bad mouthing and psycho bitchiness just bought you a nice good helping of Karma.

 

Larxene: Let me out of here!

 

Oh... I'll let you out of here... (pulls out feather) When Karma says you can.

 

Larxene: No... no, no, no! (wiggles in the chair)

 

(Every Cast member grabs a bag of popcorn)

 

Ladies and gentleman, thank you for tuning in for the fourteenth episode of 5 Questions With The Kingdom Hearts Cast. We hope you enjoy the series, the next episode to come, and we especially hope you enjoy what's going to happen to Larxene right now.

 

Larxene: (starts sweating and silently praying to herself as I take off her high heels, leaving her feet bare) Oh Glob, why?! Get me out of here! This is Hell! This is pure-- (piece of duck tape magically goes on her face) (mumbled) WTF?!

 

Donald Duck: Ha! This'll be awesome! Right Goofy?

 

Goofy: Sho nuff, Donald! Ayuck

 

(D&G put on 3-D glasses)

 

Alright, Larxene, here it comes (I twirl the feather in my fingers as it nears Larxene's barely struggling left foot)

 

Larxene: (muffled screams)

 

(camera fades out, audience hears muffled laughs from Larxene, loud laughs from the Cast)

 

X*X*X*X*X

 

Whew. That might just have been the longest episode we've had. Bigger than the Christmas Special, I think. (Episode 9) Well, I hope that this episode was the best yet, as usual. Oh, and for those of you asking, yes, that foot tickling thing was, uh... how you say, “very much wanted”. You know what I mean, people that have either read my poem “Pleasure” or have read some particular stories of mine on FF.net. No? Well, you know now.

 

So, I have the perfect candidate for Episode 15's host: he's lean, he's mean, he's bitchier than any ice queen... it's Even! AKA, Vexen, for those of you who stick to KH2 logic. Lol. JK. Send in those questions for the mad scientist! Do it... or I'll tickle you... if you're a girl, that is. If you're a dude, then... well, uh... Idk, maybe I'll do, like, a reference or something...

Edited April 21, 201312 yr by Firaga96