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ObsidianEagle

Text Xemnas Gets Exiled From The World That Never Was

By ObsidianEagle, in Creative Media

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ObsidianEagle    103

ObsidianEagle
Posted

Hey, some of you might have read my other story series. i decided to do a slightly longer one, one visiting all the worlds in all of the kingdom hearts films! (i don't know much about the BBS worlds, but i'll try my best)

 

Prologue: Xemnas's Adventures

 

Book 1: Kingdom Hearts II

Chapter 1: Twilight Town

Chapter 2: Hollow Bastion (Town)

Chapter 3: Land Of The Dragons

Chapter 4: Beasts Castle

Chapter 5: Olympus Coluseum

Chapter 6: Atlantica

Chapter 7: Agaraba

Chapter 8: Halloween Town

Chapter 9: Pride Lands

Chapter 10: Port Royal

Chapter 11: 100 Acre Woods

Chapter 12: Disney Castle

Chapter 13: Space Paranoids

Chapter 14: Timeless River

 

Book 2: Kingdom Hearts 1

Chapter 15: Hollow Bastion (Castle)

Chapter 16: Wonderland

Chapter 17: Traverse Town

Chapter 18: Neverland

Chapter 19: Monstro

 

Book 3: Birth By Sleep

Chapter 20: Deep Space

Chapter 21: Castle Of Dreams

Chapter 22: Dwarf Woodlands

Chapter 23: Disney Town

Chapter 24: Enchanted Dominion

Chapter 25: Mysterious Tower

Chapter 26: Land Of Departure

Chapter 27: Radiant Garden

 

Epilouge: Xemnas's Adventures

 

Secret Chapter: Subspace

 

I'll be releasing chapters at approx. once a week. this doesn't mean i'll stop with my other story!

 

i split them into books just for convenience

 

Click here to read 'Xemnas's Adventures In Real Life'!

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ObsidianEagle    103

ObsidianEagle
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PROLOUGE: XEMNAS'S ADVENTURES

 

Xemnas: Ok, everyone invent a new flavour of sorbet, go!

Demyx: but sir, i'm allergic to ice-cream!

Xemnas: Which is why we're making sorbet, move it

???: Xemnas, could you come here please?

Xemnas: Ok...

Demyx: who's that?

Xemnas: oh, no-one!

 

???: Good to see you again Xemnas

Xemnas: you almost blew the secret there! you know that i never told my organisation that they were 1 of 80!

Big Boss: I know, i know, but this is important. i've been reading the charts of Organisations 1-40, and noticed a very small amount of hearts being produced.

Xemnas: you don't understand! organisation 23 took away our sea-salt ice-cream business, and we have barely any munny!

Big Boss: that's no excuse. i mean come on, you have them making random flavours of ice-cream!

Xemnas: you mean sorbet

Big Boss: i don't care!

Xemnas: well i was going to give you a free sample, but if you're gonna gonna be moody about it...

Big Boss: YOU'RE FIRED!

Xemnas: well you can't burn sorbet but- wait, what?

Big Boss: I'm handing your job over to Zac Efron. he sucks, but he can just smile, ask for a girls heart and he's got half the world!

Xemnas: i'm begging you-

Big Boss: Leave! and take your sorbet with you!

 

2 PACKED SUITCASES AND A BIG BUCKET OF QUESTIONABLE SORBET LATER

 

Xemnas: screw him! i don't need any of them. i'll give myself a new life! i'll go to twilight town, make love to ollette and steal organisation 23's business! i'll be happier than i've ever been in a dark room making deoderant flavoured sorbet.

 

Book 1: Chapter 1: Twilight Town Coming soon

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ObsidianEagle    103

ObsidianEagle
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BOOK 1: Kingdom Hearts 2

CHAPTER 1: TWILIGHT TOWN

 

Xemnas: hah! twilight town! let me hear it for the new guy in town!

*silence*

Xemnas: i told them linking to a world with no personality would be a good spot! so roxas gave me an address before i left, so i'll try for a home there first...

 

IN THE USUAL SPOT

 

Pence: wow, don't you feel that sea-salt ice-cream is so boring? we need something different like... like... like sorbet!

Hayner: yeah, sea-salt-sucks, if only we has some sort of girly-grey-haired old man in a black coat that sounds like richard epcar who could overthrow the company

Ollette: yeah, and i'm really short of love, if i don't get some in the next 20 minutes i'll explode!

Xemnas: well i can answer all your prayers. you want sorbet, i've got buckets full. i'm an old man who sounds like richard epcar, and i want sea salt gone! and ollette, i'm yours

Ollette: perfect! mine first!

 

*2 hours later*

 

Xemnas: woo! let's do that again soon

Ollette: in 50 minutes?

Xemnas: you said it! right, next up on the list is killing organisatation 23's stupid ice cream business!

Hayner: Lets go!

 

*at the ice cream stall*

 

Xamnus: oh god, what do you want xemnas?

Hayner: give me the stand, or you'll be sorry...

Xamnus: no

Xemnas: you asked for it

*spits in ice cream tup and stirs it*

Xemnas: MWUHAHAHA!

Xamnus: *Crying* your so mean! *sniff sniff*

*runs away*

Hayner: oh yeah! you rule, no one will eat this ever again! the sea salt was the reason my grandmother died...

Xemnas: don't care, lets go back to the normal spot

Hayner: usual spot

Xemnas: whatever

 

IN THE USUAL SPOT

 

Xemnas: now to grant you last wish... everyone dip in to my delicious sorbet

*everyone tries and spits out*

Pence: oh god that's nasty!

Hayner: now i want sea-salt ice cream back!

Ollette: i'm never making love to you again!

Xemnas: NO!!!!!! i can't stay here, i must leave!

Pence: thank god!

 

IN TWILIGHT STATION

 

Xemnas: word on the street if here i can ride the dope-ass disney train out of here, so leave i shall.

 

BOOK 1: CHAPTER 2: HOLLOW BASTION COMING SOON

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ObsidianEagle    103

ObsidianEagle
Posted

Chapter 2: Hollow Bastion (Town) Part 1

 

Travel Agent: yes, so this is a lovely town, plenty of shops, nice scenery and a beautiful castle on the horizon.

Xemnas: sounds great! now this is a place to live

Travel Agent: right now we are able to offer you a house near the bailey, within walking distance of the shops and our castle postern.

Xemnas: good, i'll take it!

Travel Agent: but first i have to warn you that the area is still going through restoration, so you should be wary of massive white columns that kill anything living and turn it into ashes after a very nice bodily fireworks display

Xemnas: wow, free entertainment! i'll be off to my house then

Travel Agent: goodbye sir.

 

ON THE WAY TO THE HOUSE

 

Xemnas: haha! 3 small ducks and an older duck with ice-cream just got burned by the columns! ooh, they left behind some roast duck, that sorts my lunch.

Merlin: ooh, hello there! we don't often get newcomers to our town!

Xemnas: get out of the way old bag, and why aren't you wearing any trousers?

Merlin: trousers are overrated! would you like some spells, only 30 munny a spell!

Xemnas: sounds good! i'll take the lot

Merlin: ok, do you also want all the summons for only 100 munny?

Xemnas: good idea, i'll take it

Merlin: ok, thats just 260 munny

Xemnas: here you go, SPELLS SPELLS SPELLS!!!!

Merlin: ah the youth of today, playing with fire... and blizzard... and thunder...

 

AT XEMNAS'S HOUSE

 

Cid: Well howdy there!

Leon: hi...

Aerith: nice to see you

Yuffie: look how short my skirt is!

Xemnas: this can't be right, where's my house?

Cid: right here! we just came in to give ya'll a welcome party!

Leon: we went back in time, killed sonic to cook you a delicious steak, and came back

SONIC IS DEAD

Xemnas: you can't do that! you'll create a time paradox!

Snake: yeah, the future will be nothing without sonic!

Xemnas: what are you doing here?

Snake: well i have to be here everytime anyone says that line...

Merlin: also i forgot to tell you something! if you spend over 250 munny at Merlins amazing magic store, you get all the smash bros brawl character free!

Xemnas: well that must mean...

Kirby: xemnas!

Xemnas: kirby! oh i've missed you so much

Kirby: me too xemnas!

Yuffie: my skirt is shorter than yours!

 

O.o

 

COMING SOON: HOLLOW BASTION PART II

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ObsidianEagle    103

ObsidianEagle
Posted

Chapter 2: Hollow Bastion (Town) Part 2

 

cid: what's goin on here?

Xemnas: ah, we and kirby go way back

Kirby: back into the centre of subspace itself

Xemnas: but that's a story for another time, now-

Sonic: leon!

Leon: oh dear... what are you doing here?

Sonic: luckily i got brought back from subspace thanks to merlins smash ball product. leon, why did you kill me???

Leon: i wanted to make xemnas a delicious welcome steak, you can try some if you like

Sonic: like i would eat mysel- GIMME!

*tears away at sonic-speed-steak*

Sonic: oh my god, this is delicious!!!

*disappears in a puff of smoke*

Snake: you can't do that! you'll create a time paradox!

xemnas: too late. anyway i think i should return you to brawl, i'm afraid that you just won't fit in in this dimension.

boswer: but we can't have come all this way for nothing!

yuffie: you won't have been here for nothing, come here big boy!

bowser: wow, look how short your skirt is!

yuffie: oh yes i love you!

Xemnas: ok, fine, bowser can stay. but all of you have to go. but take these with you *hands over xemnas and sora pictures*, take these to nintendo, and with a bit of violent persuasion we might see those in the next smash bros game.

toon link: will do xemnas! bye!

Xemnas: wow, who came up with this wacky bit...

 

cid: so come on y'all, let's get this party started!

aerith: but sonic ate our steak, we have no food.

xemnas: don't worry, i've got sorbet!

leon: what flavour?

xemnas: today's sunday, so it's marmite flavour!

bowser: good, i love marmite!

leon: i hate it

xemnas: you'll like this!

*they all try... and stand still... and projectile vomit DX*

leon: nope still hate it

bowser: oh god, that cannot be marmite!

xemnas: oh, whoops, that's baby flavour

yuffie: you killed a baby?!?!

xemnas: yeah, your baby

Snake: you can't do that, you'll create a time paradox!

xemnas: get out of here...

cid: leave! and never come back

 

xemnas: damn... this never would have happened if i didn't send kirby away... i know what i'll do, i'll randomly go to china!

 

Chapter 3: The Land Of Dragons coming soon...

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