Text True Friendship (Poem)

[Roy 137]

True Friendship

Thus a true friend came

I didn't expect him to be,

After all he was quiet and shy

could've missed, if it weren't for the

feeling of wanting to say hi,

A simple conversation that'll last forever

 

Neither knowing of what were to come,

both thinking of just a regular friend

Yet realizing as time goes,

that thus was not true,

We grew in friendship,

Now becoming friends, but not

a fake friend, which thus are many

 

We both encountered false friends,

usally thinking that they are the ones,

yet they beyrayed in one's most needed

hour,whence realized that they are not,

The sudden shock, yet we choose not to accept

but to ignore until they depart,

We look back and wonder why

did we ignore this simple fact,

to save us from the feeling of betrayal

Yet we both knew we weren't

fake since we grew fast in a matter of weeks

 

Then came the time to leave,

we didn't remember the sorrow and pain

but the joy and fun we had,

we then wonder if we are going

to meet again and if not we will

miss each other dearly,but

a feeling was inside saying,

that we will me again.

 

The feeling coming to truth,

we meet again,but in a flash

we already felt as we talked for months

from friends and now best friends,

their was no limilt of our friendship,

Yet we still our doubts of each other

since the past of fake friends

So we tested our level if trust,

Which was a waste of time

Since we were already true best friends

 

We have total faith in each other,

closer than brothers,which we both felt.

Nothing will seperate us apart,

even if we are in the oppsite sides of the world

We still will be best friends

Thus is called a True friendship to me.

 

 

Okay any advice in how to improve the poem,also any thoughts,feelings,criticing please post...since this is my first serious poem I made. Also this poem was dedicated to prowerpower who is actual best friend in life. So umm leave advice please.

[Demyx. 10,064]

It's good.

 

To me it's a bit to straight forward.

Edited January 28, 2013 by Xaon

[DJ369 183]

That's an amazing poem. I wouldn't change a thing.

[Roy 137]

@Xaon any improvements I can make?, oh and thanks

[Demyx. 10,064]

@Xaon any improvements I can make?, oh and thanks

 

Only real thing I could say is to add metaphors and what not. I'm not saying it's a bad poem or anything. More for future reference.

[Roy 137]

Metaphors....hmmm and I meant thanks sincerly....

[Weiss 8,279]

I think it was pretty great. Not much criticing I can give that hasn't already been said Nice job and keep it up!

[Roy 137]

thanks keys...well I haven't thought of doing poems for a hobby but should I do it as a hobby?

[Demyx. 10,064]

thanks keys...well I haven't thought of doing poems for a hobby but should I do it as a hobby?

I find writing helpful with emotions and what not. Plus it's fun to me. But it's all up to you.

[Roy 137]

heh last two years I kept a jorunal but made my life with a keyblade and bad guys...I miss those days.

[Indecypher 495]

Depends on what you mean by "improve" I'm not that deep so I dunno how to help with word structure or whatever. There are some spelling mistakes I noticed, and that's probably the only advice you'll get from me on the poem.

 

The poem reminded me of this song:

 

 

So I dunno if it was just me, the power of suggestion or a failure at reading. But I thought the friend was female at first. Sorry Prower

 

As for feelings I suppose it made me happy, since I recalled the song because of it. "even if we are in the oppsite sides of the world
We still will be best friends" This is where my cynicism and possible literary shortcomings come into play, I didn't know if it had already happened or if the narrator just assumed it would be that way. After seeing Roxas's story and my own experiences, I doubt you and Prower will be friends forever. If that becomes true this poem might be awkward to see later on but hey, you could end up proving me wrong.

[Roy 137]

@Indecyper hmmm this poem already happened is baciscally about my friendship...It's okay if you thought it was a girl because poems mean different stuff to people....and thanks will put that to mind

[Indecypher 495]

@Indecyper hmmm this poem already happened is baciscally about my friendship...It's okay if you thought it was a girl because poems mean different stuff to people....and thanks will put that to mind

I'm sorry to hear that. Interestingly enough the original comment on that video used to be someone complaining about how Dakota had to be the girl. Assuming you even listened to it. You're welcome. Why doesn't anyone quote anymore?

 

Edit: ?

Edited January 28, 2013 by Indecypher

[Shera Wizard 2,736]

this is great!

 

And if you're going to choose poetry as a hobby, I can say your going long ways *o*