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Confused and Scared... HELP!

Posted

My ex asked me if I wanted to take naked pics of myself and have sex with him. I'm 20 and my past history with boyfriends isnt very good. I've been touched inappropriately, pressured to take naked pics by my exs, and was verbally abused by my first bf.

 

All my exs are in relationships, except for my fourth boyfriend whom I broke up with yesterday (yes, I know today's Valentine's Day and I realize I should've probably waited until after Valentine's Day!) I don't feel comfortable doing any of these things with him because he pressured me into taking naked pics before. I told him no over and over today and gave him reasons why I didn't want to, but I don't think he undestands how traumatic that is for me. He told me not to tell anyone or else we'd get into trouble, but I don't want to end up pregnant like my birth mom or get an STD.

 

I've stayed abstinent and alcohol- and drug-free throughout my 20 yrs. of life, and I plan on waiting until I get into a serious relationship to have sex.

 

What should I do??

Featured Replies

One of those guys, no offense but I hate those kinds of guys. Assholes I say, but anyways just ignore the bastard, move on with life. Find someone romantic, perfect to you, that's not so pervy and disgusting.

Edited by Rainbow Dash

Dont' do anything you don't want to. Seriously. If you don't want to do that then definitely don't.

If anything avoid and stay away from him and if that doesn't work you could report him.

Edited by Keysofblades

If you live in the US, depending on the state, this is grounds for verbal harassment/sexual assault (or somewhere along the lines...) and IS punishable by law. If you live in the US, check the state penal codes regarding sexual offenses. Using Texas as an example: 

http://law.onecle.com/texas/penal/42.07.00.html

--- Section 42.07. HARASSMENT. (a) A person commits an offense if,
with intent to harass, annoy, alarm, abuse, torment, or embarrass
another, he:
(1) initiates communication by telephone, in writing,
or by electronic communication and in the course of the
communication makes a comment, request, suggestion, or proposal
that is obscene
;

 

Threatening you not to tell anyone:

(2) threatens, by telephone, in writing, or by
electronic communication, in a manner reasonably likely to alarm
the person receiving the threat, to inflict bodily injury on the
person or to commit a felony against the person,






 

Edited by javelin434

  • Author

Thanks! I live in Minnesota, so I'll have to check on what the law says about abuse, harrassment, ect. I'm going to talk with him tomorrow and tell him that I'm not going to do what he asked.

 

Thanks again to everyone who responded! I really appreciate the advice!

Thanks! I live in Minnesota, so I'll have to check on what the law says about abuse, harrassment, ect. I'm going to talk with him tomorrow and tell him that I'm not going to do what he asked.Thanks again to everyone who responded! I really appreciate the advice!

 

Minnesota statutes:  

Section 609.27 COERCION.
Subdivision 1.Acts constituting.  

Whoever orally or in writing makes any of the following threats and thereby causes another against the other's will to do any act or forbear doing a lawful act is guilty of coercion and may be sentenced as provided in subdivision 2:

(1) a threat to unlawfully inflict bodily harm upon, or hold in confinement, the person threatened or another, when robbery or attempt to rob is not committed thereby;  

609.79 OBSCENE OR HARASSING TELEPHONE CALLS.
Subdivision 1.Crime defined; obscene call.  

Whoever,

(1) by means of a telephone,

(i) makes any comment, request, suggestion or proposal which is obscene, lewd, or lascivious,

 

Those are just some of the statutes. Check your local peace officer/police officer for more info. And don't give in, if you do you'll just make it worse.

Edited by javelin434

In most countries it's against the law to force someone into sex/doing something sexual they don't want to do.

My ex asked me if I wanted to take naked pics of myself and have sex with him. I'm 20 and my past history with boyfriends isnt very good. I've been touched inappropriately, pressured to take naked pics by my exs, and was verbally abused by my first bf. All my exs are in relationships, except for my fourth boyfriend whom I broke up with yesterday (yes, I know today's Valentine's Day and I realize I should've probably waited until after Valentine's Day!) I don't feel comfortable doing any of these things with him because he pressured me into taking naked pics before. I told him no over and over today and gave him reasons why I didn't want to, but I don't think he undestands how traumatic that is for me. He told me not to tell anyone or else we'd get into trouble, but I don't want to end up pregnant like my birth mom or get an STD. I've stayed abstinent and alcohol- and drug-free throughout my 20 yrs. of life, and I plan on waiting until I get into a serious relationship to have sex. What should I do??

Congrats on staying a virgin, alcohol, and drug free its hard to do in the world these days.....and I don't mean to sound ungrateful but forgive me if I do....isn't there anyone in your world, friends or family, you could've gone to with this? Turning to the Internet could've gone a million different ways from the responses you got :) to people telling to do it :/

My ex asked me if I wanted to take naked pics of myself and have sex with him. I'm 20 and my past history with boyfriends isnt very good. I've been touched inappropriately, pressured to take naked pics by my exs, and was verbally abused by my first bf.All my exs are in relationships, except for my fourth boyfriend whom I broke up with yesterday (yes, I know today's Valentine's Day and I realize I should've probably waited until after Valentine's Day!) I don't feel comfortable doing any of these things with him because he pressured me into taking naked pics before. I told him no over and over today and gave him reasons why I didn't want to, but I don't think he undestands how traumatic that is for me. He told me not to tell anyone or else we'd get into trouble, but I don't want to end up pregnant like my birth mom or get an STD.I've stayed abstinent and alcohol- and drug-free throughout my 20 yrs. of life, and I plan on waiting until I get into a serious relationship to have sex.What should I do??

Wish i had more girls like you in my country

you're the man.

 

First, like some people already said, he doesnt love u. what kind of person would hurt his/her supposed soulmate.

Last, you already alcohol and drug free, now free yourself from  him too. I dont know u but from what i read defintely he's not the best man for u.

 

 

Congrats on staying a virgin, alcohol, and drug free its hard to do in the world these days.....

and thats what makes this girl special. talking about pearls ands pigs here eh

Edited by Think Pink

My ex asked me if I wanted to take naked pics of myself and have sex with him. I'm 20 and my past history with boyfriends isnt very good. I've been touched inappropriately, pressured to take naked pics by my exs, and was verbally abused by my first bf.All my exs are in relationships, except for my fourth boyfriend whom I broke up with yesterday (yes, I know today's Valentine's Day and I realize I should've probably waited until after Valentine's Day!) I don't feel comfortable doing any of these things with him because he pressured me into taking naked pics before. I told him no over and over today and gave him reasons why I didn't want to, but I don't think he undestands how traumatic that is for me. He told me not to tell anyone or else we'd get into trouble, but I don't want to end up pregnant like my birth mom or get an STD.I've stayed abstinent and alcohol- and drug-free throughout my 20 yrs. of life, and I plan on waiting until I get into a serious relationship to have sex.What should I do??

If you don't want to do it, you shouldn't let some piece of shit who can't take no for an answer influence you.

No. Don't.

Cut off all communication once you break up.

  • Author

UPDATE: I told him that I wasn't comfortable with what he wanted me to do and that I would go to the police and file for sexual harassment if he ever did this to me again.

 

Thanks again! :)

Easy, don't send him pics. 

 

Even if he was still your boyfriend I wouldn't. 

 

Seriously, us guys are scumbags. 

 

Send him a picture that will make him cry, you can PM me if you need a picture. 

Edited by Amon

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