So I was just lying in bed, having just woke up from a restless sleep, and I thought to myself, "I'm gonna go get on KH13 and post all up on that bitch." And so, I slide my elegant body out from beneath the covers, and place my feet on the carpet. I stand, taking a moment to contemplate my surroundings. Imagine my surprise when I realize that, I am not in my own bedroom, but the bedroom of someone else... I crane my neck so as to view the other side of the bed... and lo, I see another person, nested within the blankets.
I am faced with a choice. Evidently, I got jiggy with someones juggies the night prior, and now have no memory of it. So, do I bail, letting a one night stand stay that way, or do I notify my partner that I am leaving?
Since I am an asshole, I chose the former. But on the journey home, behold, I see another car in my rear view mirror has taken the same turn as myself... a curiousity, certainly, but I am a paranoid sort, and so I ride around the block, just to be sure. And as is natural, the car behind did in fact take the same turns as I. I park in the nearest Starbucks, and face my pursuer.
It is a female. A female who looks like the love child of Gary Busey, and Steve Buscemi.
It my nemesis.
It is...
MY EX.
Indeed, it is the same bitch that I have been searching for ever since she took custody of my child. And here I am, facing her.
"How did you find me, oh bitch that I have been searching for ever since you took custody of my child?"
"You slept with me last night, asshole!"
My testicles recede into my stomach as it dawns on me just who the one night stand was with.
"Tis' a detail in the scheme of something larger, oh bitch that I have been searching for! Where is my child!?"
She merely looks into my eyes, with her ungodly abomination of a face, and frowns.
So I was just lying in bed, having just woke up from a restless sleep, and I thought to myself, "I'm gonna go get on KH13 and post all up on that bitch." And so, I slide my elegant body out from beneath the covers, and place my feet on the carpet. I stand, taking a moment to contemplate my surroundings. Imagine my surprise when I realize that, I am not in my own bedroom, but the bedroom of someone else... I crane my neck so as to view the other side of the bed... and lo, I see another person, nested within the blankets.
I am faced with a choice. Evidently, I got jiggy with someones juggies the night prior, and now have no memory of it. So, do I bail, letting a one night stand stay that way, or do I notify my partner that I am leaving?
Since I am an asshole, I chose the former. But on the journey home, behold, I see another car in my rear view mirror has taken the same turn as myself... a curiousity, certainly, but I am a paranoid sort, and so I ride around the block, just to be sure. And as is natural, the car behind did in fact take the same turns as I. I park in the nearest Starbucks, and face my pursuer.
It is a female. A female who looks like the love child of Gary Busey, and Steve Buscemi.
It my nemesis.
It is...
MY EX.
Indeed, it is the same bitch that I have been searching for ever since she took custody of my child. And here I am, facing her.
"How did you find me, oh bitch that I have been searching for ever since you took custody of my child?"
"You slept with me last night, asshole!"
My testicles recede into my stomach as it dawns on me just who the one night stand was with.
"Tis' a detail in the scheme of something larger, oh bitch that I have been searching for! Where is my child!?"
She merely looks into my eyes, with her ungodly abomination of a face, and frowns.
TO BE CONTINUED...
I am so incredibly tired right now it's insane