I don't like babies, or kids by extension. I'm always baffled whenever anyone starts cooing over them, saying how awwwww they're so adorable, and otherwise giving the amount of attention I personally reserve for actual cute things like puppies. I don't have a high opinion of tiny proto-humans that have no function outside of screaming, shitting, and sleeping, and yet something inexplicable and existentially terrifying just happened.
I was at the checkout line in Ikea when I saw a female specimen of a proto-human. It was generic was far as the species went, sitting in its stroller doing nothing of productive worth, but it was staring at me. It smiled, and against my will, I smiled back. This action caused it to smile wider, and instead of the proper response of scowling and/or punting it out of my sight, I giggled like a dumbass. It took so much effort and willpower to stop that I had to look away, even to the ceiling.
As I mentioned, I don't like proto-humans and I don't think they're cute. However, despite how it didn't give me the butterflies objectively cute creatures of greater value give me, I still smiled and laughed. It was madness. I wondered if it was those maternal instincts everyone says I'll develop, since it's one of those things that apparently comes with the tits-and-vagina package.
The more I thought about it, however, the more I horrifically realized how these "instincts" are in fact unconscious mind control on the part of me and the proto-human. This incident taught me there are some things mere mortals cannot withstand, but this is unacceptable. I'm supposed to be stronger than that, and yet, a worthless sack of flesh and poo managed control me into feeling emotions I know are incorrect? The worst part is the proto-humans can't even consciously control it. They lack the brain capacity for that kind of manipulation, but that just means that proto-humans, by nature of what they are, can do things we are helpless to resist. There is nothing we can do.
Or is there? As I walked away from the scene of the crime, I formulated a plan so such an incident will never happen again. I've accepted my weakness, but that doesn't mean I can't do anything about it. My plan? Explosives. Lots of them. Firearms if you have the means. Whenever you see a proto-human, you must destroy it before it destroys you. I will personally spearhead the movement if it means saving us all.
I am Dracozombie, professional baby exploder. I encourage you all to join me on my noble quest to rid the world of proto-humans, or at least, put them in controlled environments for the sake of population. Those who refuse to join me are under the control of the proto-humans and must be liberated by any means necessary, and by that, I mean with gratuitous amounts of fire and explosions.
I don't like babies, or kids by extension. I'm always baffled whenever anyone starts cooing over them, saying how awwwww they're so adorable, and otherwise giving the amount of attention I personally reserve for actual cute things like puppies. I don't have a high opinion of tiny proto-humans that have no function outside of screaming, shitting, and sleeping, and yet something inexplicable and existentially terrifying just happened.
I was at the checkout line in Ikea when I saw a female specimen of a proto-human. It was generic was far as the species went, sitting in its stroller doing nothing of productive worth, but it was staring at me. It smiled, and against my will, I smiled back. This action caused it to smile wider, and instead of the proper response of scowling and/or punting it out of my sight, I giggled like a dumbass. It took so much effort and willpower to stop that I had to look away, even to the ceiling.
As I mentioned, I don't like proto-humans and I don't think they're cute. However, despite how it didn't give me the butterflies objectively cute creatures of greater value give me, I still smiled and laughed. It was madness. I wondered if it was those maternal instincts everyone says I'll develop, since it's one of those things that apparently comes with the tits-and-vagina package.
The more I thought about it, however, the more I horrifically realized how these "instincts" are in fact unconscious mind control on the part of me and the proto-human. This incident taught me there are some things mere mortals cannot withstand, but this is unacceptable. I'm supposed to be stronger than that, and yet, a worthless sack of flesh and poo managed control me into feeling emotions I know are incorrect? The worst part is the proto-humans can't even consciously control it. They lack the brain capacity for that kind of manipulation, but that just means that proto-humans, by nature of what they are, can do things we are helpless to resist. There is nothing we can do.
Or is there? As I walked away from the scene of the crime, I formulated a plan so such an incident will never happen again. I've accepted my weakness, but that doesn't mean I can't do anything about it. My plan? Explosives. Lots of them. Firearms if you have the means. Whenever you see a proto-human, you must destroy it before it destroys you. I will personally spearhead the movement if it means saving us all.
I am Dracozombie, professional baby exploder. I encourage you all to join me on my noble quest to rid the world of proto-humans, or at least, put them in controlled environments for the sake of population. Those who refuse to join me are under the control of the proto-humans and must be liberated by any means necessary, and by that, I mean with gratuitous amounts of fire and explosions.
Join me. Do not underestimate their power.