So I have an new idea for a series. I've given this some thought and I really think we have some fun with this. I'm not really doing anything relevant with 5 Q's at the moment anyway, and until I get the extra stuff for that series done and can continue putting out new content for it, I might as well start something new, right?

 

Well, let's see where this takes us...

 

-- EPISODE 1: Fast Track To Failure

 

Hello, KH13. My name is Firaga Sensei. And say hello to my three friends, Sora, Riku, and Kairi.

 

Sora: Hi. 

 

Kairi: Hello. 

 

Riku: Hey.

 

Today is a great day for these three friends; they're going to embark on a great adventure, one that will be full of action, adventure... and unicorns.

 

Sora: Wait, what?

 

Well, that depends, actuallly, I mean, personally, I don't think unicorns would fit into this story. I'd rather see something like dragons or elves or even a giant marshmallow filled with cream chee--

 

Riku: Hey! What are you talking about?!

 

Wait, you guys can hear me?

 

Kairi: Of course we can hear you!

 

Hmm. That was quick. I thought I had the fourth wall reinforced... should have used steel instead of pillows, I guess.

 

Sora: Who are you exactly? We've never seen you before.

 

What do you mean you've never seen me?? We do 5 Questions togeth-- oh wait. I forgot about the memory wipe. Better just keep that to myself for now... probably shouldn't reveal anything else to them either.

 

Kairi: Memory what?

 

Riku: Alright, I need answers. Just what is going on?

 

Okay, okay, I'm going to level with you guys. You're about to be subjected to your greatest adventure yet, and I'm the guy that's going to narrate it all.

 

Sora: You're a narrator?

 

No shit, Sherlock, I just said that. (Sigh) Sharp as a tack, you are.

 

Riku: How come we need a narrator?

 

Because much like your lives in general, this adventure is going to be controlled by people you don't even know.

 

Kairi: Our lives are being controlled?

 

Sorta. Technically, you guys don't even exist.

 

All: WHAT?!

 

Sora: Okay, now you're just trying to mess with our minds!

 

Too late for that. I'm already in your mind.

 

Sora: What! No, you're not! (closes eyes, takes breath) I'll be safe here. He's not coming inside here...

 

(in Sora's mind) I'm in ya head, bitch!

 

Sora: AH! (eyes snap open)

 

Okay, enough formalities. I think you chuckleheads get the main jist of this now.

 

Sora: Well, uh, I guess...

 

Riku: Sora, you can't be seriously going along with this.

 

Kairi: I don't think we have a choice, Riku. We might as well.

 

Riku: You too, Kairi?

 

Sora: Let's just see what happens. It might be fun, who knows.

 

Riku: (sigh) ... fine. I'll play along. But if things get weird, I'll have something to say about it.

 

We'll see if you'll be able to say anything at all...

 

Riku: What?

 

TURTLES, now, the first thing we should get out of the way is the setting. Right now... there is no setting. You guys are basically just sitting in a big black room at the moment.

 

Sora: No, we're not. We're on our home world, Destiny Isl--

 

(snaps fingers, SRK are now in the big black room)

 

Sora: --or, not. Nevermind...

 

Now then, let's put you guys in a more "exciting" setting.

 

Kairi: I don't think I'm gonna like this...

 

Riku: Let me guess, it's gonna be something stupid.

 

Ooh, I know! How about the magical land of Agrabah?

 

Riku: Oh, that's not bad.

 

Sora: Alright! Now I can introduce Riku and Kairi to Aladdin!

 

ExceptI'mputtingyouguysinthemiddleofthedesert.

 

All: What?!

 

SHAPLABLOOEY! (snaps fingers, teleports the three to Agrabah)

 

(SRK stand 50 feet above the desert of Agrabah)

 

Let's hope they have something soft to land on... ooh, I know! ... Nothing.

 

ALL: WHAT THE HE--

 

(They all fall to the ground)

 

All: --EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLL!

 

(SPLAT!)

 

Sora: Ow.

 

Whoops, I guess nothing was a bad choice.

 

Riku: Oh really now?! (stands up and straightens back)

 

Kairi: How much more of this do we have to take? (brushes sand off) It's only been five minutes and we've already been launched into the middle of nowhere.

 

Riku: See, this is why we should have backed out.

 

Sora: Whattaya mean? You agreed to this too.

 

Riku: I'm only agreed so I can make sure you two idiots don't get killed.

 

Kairi: Hey, we're not idiots!

 

Riku: Well, I don't know-- your track records speak for themselves.

 

(Watching this all unfold, not amused) Oh God... (sigh)

 

Sora: You're the one who turned evil, Riku!

 

Riku: I did it to save Kairi!

 

Kairi: And what a glorious job you did. By the way, if you can't tell, I'm being saracastic.

 

Riku: Oh, you can show emotions? That's a first.

 

Kairi: (Gasp) Hey!

 

(All three kids argue with each other)

 

... This is taking too long... SILENCE!!

 

(thunder crackle)

 

All: (stops arguing) ... 

 

Alright, maggots, listen up. We're burning daylight. Now then, KH13, this the part where you chip in and help with the story. I'm giving you three choices onto what these three are going to do next. Here they are:

 

Are they going to --

 

A} continue arguing like little bitches, leading to a hilarious duel,

 

B} go to Agrabah by me transporting them again (wink, wink) 

 

C} A random Heartless/random creature appears and SRK have to fight it.

 

Leave your choices below and we'll see what the outcome will be in one week's time.

 

Sora: Wait, what's the wink, wink thing for?

 

Riku: Are... are you coming onto us?

 

Kairi: Aren't you, like, 40, or something, cuz that's kinda weird...

 

.... I'm gonna enjoy torturing these numbskulls.

 

All: Huh?

 

BANANAS! VOTE NOW!

 

(throws down smoke bomb, dissapears)

 

-- END --

 

Alright, so there's that. I, uh, don't really have anything new to add, so just remember to vote for the next outcome. Allons-y.

Edited August 22, 201312 yr by Firaga Sensei

I say C!

I vote for C.

C. Also, I should make a cameo.

C. Also, I should make a cameo.

Me, too....

C! RAINBOW SHIT POWERS ACTIVATE!!

I was gonna vote C for the 2nd one.... Anyway C FOR KAIRI SHET *･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･* (Copy and paste this when she uses her POWAH!)

C. Also, I should make a cameo.

Yes be needy like how I was with your story, which still has yet to be uploaded...

I say B...because I feel like going against the crowd.

Yes be needy like how I was with your story, which still has yet to be uploaded...

I say B...because I feel like going against the crowd.

I'll upload it when I'm not busy. I have school this week man. D:

I majority for picking C! 

Im rebelling, i chose B ! 

 

(Dammit everyone choses the gay options, skyrim dragon is better than godzilla bro )

Im rebelling, i chose B ! (Dammit everyone choses the gay options, skyrim dragon is better than godzilla bro )

SKYRIM FANBOY ALLERT! SKYRIM FANBOY ALERT!

SKYRIM FANBOY ALERT! SKYRIM FANBOY ALERT!

 

 

That is cold ice, i ain't no fanboy. Firstly, i don't have a peanus, therefore i do not constitute as a boy(Though my name should give that away i mean, how many guys do you meet with the name Amelia, pfft) . And secondly, oblivion and morrowind pwnd skyrim, i twas simply stating that godzilla sucks donkey nuts, in my opinion of course.

That is cold ice, i ain't no fanboy. Firstly, i don't have a peanus, therefore i do not constitute as a boy(Though my name should give that away i mean, how many guys do you meet with the name Amelia, pfft) . And secondly, oblivion and morrowind pwnd skyrim, i twas simply stating that godzilla sucks donkey nuts, in my opinion of course.

It was a joke, you normally don't say Fangirl in a case where someone says something sucks when making a joke...

It was a joke, you normally don't say Fangirl in a case where someone says something sucks when making a joke...

 

I'm surprised you didn't notice that i wasn't being even remotely serious

I'm surprised you didn't notice that i wasn't being even remotely serious

School is making me too serioussssss.

School is making me too serioussssss.

... Do you know how to deal with that, though?

Huh.  Uh, I'll go with B.  

 

A is bit too obvious and C is .... different.

 

Hm.

Is C winning? I'd like to see Kairi lose.

 

So I have an new idea for a series. I've given this some thought and I really think we have some fun with this. I'm not really doing anything relevant with 5 Q's at the moment anyway, and until I get the extra stuff for that series done and can continue putting out new content for it, I might as well start something new, right?

 

Well, let's see where this takes us...

 

-- EPISODE 1: Fast Track To Failure

 

Hello, KH13. My name is Firaga Sensei. And say hello to my three friends, Sora, Riku, and Kairi.

 

Sora: Hi. 

 

Kairi: Hello. 

 

Riku: Hey.

 

Today is a great day for these three friends; they're going to embark on a great adventure, one that will be full of action, adventure... and unicorns.

 

Sora: Wait, what?

 

Well, that depends, actuallly, I mean, personally, I don't think unicorns would fit into this story. I'd rather see something like dragons or elves or even a giant marshmallow filled with cream chee--

 

Riku: Hey! What are you talking about?!

 

Wait, you guys can hear me?

 

Kairi: Of course we can hear you!

 

Hmm. That was quick. I thought I had the fourth wall reinforced... should have used steel instead of pillows, I guess.

 

Sora: Who are you exactly? We've never seen you before.

 

What do you mean you've never seen me?? We do 5 Questions togeth-- oh wait. I forgot about the memory wipe. Better just keep that to myself for now... probably shouldn't reveal anything else to them either.

 

Kairi: Memory what?

 

Riku: Alright, I need answers. Just what is going on?

 

Okay, okay, I'm going to level with you guys. You're about to be subjected to your greatest adventure yet, and I'm the guy that's going to narrate it all.

 

Sora: You're a narrator?

 

No shit, Sherlock, I just said that. (Sigh) Sharp as a tack, you are.

 

Riku: How come we need a narrator?

 

Because much like your lives in general, this adventure is going to be controlled by people you don't even know.

 

Kairi: Our lives are being controlled?

 

Sorta. Technically, you guys don't even exist.

 

All: WHAT?!

 

Sora: Okay, now you're just trying to mess with our minds!

 

Too late for that. I'm already in your mind.

 

Sora: What! No, you're not! (closes eyes, takes breath) I'll be safe here. He's not coming inside here...

 

(in Sora's mind) I'm in ya head, bitch!

 

Sora: AH! (eyes snap open)

 

Okay, enough formalities. I think you chuckleheads get the main jist of this now.

 

Sora: Well, uh, I guess...

 

Riku: Sora, you can't be seriously going along with this.

 

Kairi: I don't think we have a choice, Riku. We might as well.

 

Riku: You too, Kairi?

 

Sora: Let's just see what happens. It might be fun, who knows.

 

Riku: (sigh) ... fine. I'll play along. But if things get weird, I'll have something to say about it.

 

We'll see if you'll be able to say anything at all...

 

Riku: What?

 

TURTLES, now, the first thing we should get out of the way is the setting. Right now... there is no setting. You guys are basically just sitting in a big black room at the moment.

 

Sora: No, we're not. We're on our home world, Destiny Isl--

 

(snaps fingers, SRK are now in the big black room)

 

Sora: --or, not. Nevermind...

 

Now then, let's put you guys in a more "exciting" setting.

 

Kairi: I don't think I'm gonna like this...

 

Riku: Let me guess, it's gonna be something stupid.

 

Ooh, I know! How about the magical land of Agrabah?

 

Riku: Oh, that's not bad.

 

Sora: Alright! Now I can introduce Riku and Kairi to Aladdin!

 

ExceptI'mputtingyouguysinthemiddleofthedesert.

 

All: What?!

 

SHAPLABLOOEY! (snaps fingers, teleports the three to Agrabah)

 

(SRK stand 50 feet above the desert of Agrabah)

 

Let's hope they have something soft to land on... ooh, I know! ... Nothing.

 

ALL: WHAT THE HE--

 

(They all fall to the ground)

 

All: --EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLL!

 

(SPLAT!)

 

Sora: Ow.

 

Whoops, I guess nothing was a bad choice.

 

Riku: Oh really now?! (stands up and straightens back)

 

Kairi: How much more of this do we have to take? (brushes sand off) It's only been five minutes and we've already been launched into the middle of nowhere.

 

Riku: See, this is why we should have backed out.

 

Sora: Whattaya mean? You agreed to this too.

 

Riku: I'm only agreed so I can make sure you two idiots don't get killed.

 

Kairi: Hey, we're not idiots!

 

Riku: Well, I don't know-- your track records speak for themselves.

 

(Watching this all unfold, not amused) Oh God... (sigh)

 

Sora: You're the one who turned evil, Riku!

 

Riku: I did it to save Kairi!

 

Kairi: And what a glorious job you did. By the way, if you can't tell, I'm being saracastic.

 

Riku: Oh, you can show emotions? That's a first.

 

Kairi: (Gasp) Hey!

 

(All three kids argue with each other)

 

... This is taking too long... SILENCE!!

 

(thunder crackle)

 

All: (stops arguing) ... 

 

Alright, maggots, listen up. We're burning daylight. Now then, KH13, this the part where you chip in and help with the story. I'm giving you three choices onto what these three are going to do next. Here they are:

 

Are they going to --

 

A} continue arguing like little bitches, leading to a hilarious duel,

 

B} go to Agrabah by me transporting them again (wink, wink) 

 

C} A random Heartless/random creature appears and SRK have to fight it.

 

Leave your choices below and we'll see what the outcome will be in one week's time.

 

Sora: Wait, what's the wink, wink thing for?

 

Riku: Are... are you coming onto us?

 

Kairi: Aren't you, like, 40, or something, cuz that's kinda weird...

 

.... I'm gonna enjoy torturing these numbskulls.

 

All: Huh?

 

BANANAS! VOTE NOW!

 

(throws down smoke bomb, dissapears)

 

-- END --

 

Alright, so there's that. I, uh, don't really have anything new to add, so just remember to vote for the next outcome. Allons-y.

 

A A A!!!

A A A!!!

That was the last chapter, the voting for that one ended.

That was the last chapter, the voting for that one ended.

CRAP. :angry:

... Do you know how to deal with that, though?

Nope.

Nope.

Kneeew iiiiiit.

Kneeew iiiiiit.

Wooopwoooopwooop.

Another Wednesday, another episode filled with bullshit. Here we are once again for the Bullshit Chronicles. I'm really liking how this series is going along. Anyways, let's get right to it.

 

-- EPISODE 4: Unexpected Breakthrough

 

And we're back, folks, for the thrilling conclusion of this exciting battle! Let's see how the combatants are doing so far. Sora and Riku?

 

(S&R being swarmed by fangirls)

 

Sora: THIS IS TOO MUCH!

 

Riku: I CAN'T TAKE IT!

 

Fangirl: JUST F**K ALREADY!

 

Looks like they're doing good. And Kairi?

 

Kairi: I'm gonna pee my pants!

 

Great! Now then, on with the torture!

 

SRK: On with the what?!

 

Uh, I mean competition. (sits back on chair)

 

Godzilla: (looking at Kairi like a piece of chicken)

 

Kairi: (thinking) What do I do? What do I do? I... I could try seducing him... wait! I'm not a giant lizard with boobs! Crap!

 

Godzilla: (shoots ice at Kairi)

 

Kairi: (tenses)

 

???: Kairi! (jumps in front of Kairi, blocks ice with Firaga blast)

 

Kairi: Sora? Riku?

 

S&R: (standing in front of Kairi, Keyblades drawn, clothes ripped and covered with lipstick)

 

Riku: This isn't lipstick...

 

Ooh, damn.

 

Sora: Don't worry, Kairi. We're here for ya.

 

Riku: Just leave it to us. (thinking) Like you always do.

 

Kairi: ... (looks at Sora and Riku with sad eyes, grips handle of Destiny's Embrace) No! (Runs in front of Sora and Riku) This time, I'll protect you!

 

Heh, nice reference. (chews on popcorn)

 

Riku: Kairi, do you really think you take this monster?

 

Godzilla: (roars and swishes tail around)

 

Kairi: Yes... yes I can. I just need to reach deep down inside myself... and find the great power that's hidden inside me! ... (belly rumbles) Oh...

 

Sora: Huh?

 

Kairi: (Holds stomach) Oh, man... I hope those cupcakes didn't go down the wrong tube...

 

Riku: What the hell?

 

Kairi: Ugh... (turns around) I think... I think I'm gonna...

 

Godzilla: (roars and charges at the three)

 

S&R: Kairi, look out!

 

Kairi: (looks back for a second and ducks head) Ah! (farts, a giant rainbow shoots out of Kairi's ass) AHHHHH!

 

Riku: Holy shit! 

 

Sora: Holy peanut butter cups!

 

Godzilla: (gets hit by beam, holds him back as it weakens him)

 

Sora: K-Kairi! I think it's working!

 

Kairi: Really?! (farts louder) Agh, well, it hurts like nobody's business, but--

 

Riku: Just keep doing what you're doing! Me and Sora will finish him off!

 

Kairi: Uh, okay! (closes eyes, farts harder, the beam intensifies)

 

Godzilla: (roars in pain and anger as it is being pushed back by the beam)

 

(Sora and Riku circle around the beast) 

 

Sora: Just a little more... come on Kairi!

 

Kairi: (strains) Geez, this is worse than the Nyan Cat!

 

Godzilla: (beam spills into Godzilla's mouth, filling his eyeballs with colors and his stomach to bloat up) RAAGGGGH!

 

(Gozilla falls over on his side, eyes leaking out and stomach weighing him down)

 

Riku: Sora, now! Aim for the stomach.

 

Sora: Right! One Belly Buster coming up!

 

(Sora and Riku give out a battle cry as they both jump in the air and hit Godzilla's stomach with a Strike Raid, the impact causing Godzilla's belly to explode, rainbow going everywhere, killing Godzilla as his now colorful eyes roll back into his skull)

 

S&R: (land back on the ground, pants)

 

Riku: Whew... we did it...

 

Sora: Yeah... heh... Go us! (throws arms in the air) Whoo... goodnight. (falls on his back, smiling)

 

Kairi: Guys! Are you okay! (runs over, legs slightly covered with the aftermath of her rainbow attack)

 

S&R: Yeah.. we're fine.

 

Riku: I'm more concerned about you, actually.

 

Kairi: Why? Because you thought that I couldn't handle myself? (crosses arms)

 

Riku: N-no, that's not it...  I mean, you did great out there. I think you're really making progress, Kairi. Keep this up, and you wont need to rely on me or Sora anymore. You'll be your own protection.

 

Kairi: (smiles) Thanks, Riku.

 

Sora: (laughs)

 

Kairi: Okay, so what is it that you were concerned with?

 

Riku: Oh, well, I was wondering how your, uh, behind was able to unload all that rainbow...

 

Kairi: Ah... well, um, I don't really know. Maybe Firaga can explain it?

 

That I can. You see, Kairi, I have granted you with a special gift...

 

(Sora, Riku, and Kairi all look up at me)

 

It is a gift that will give you a great advantage in battle. Like Riku said, you are well on your way to becoming a fighter that can protect herself. I hope you can use it well. You will need to.

 

Kairi: Okay. I will, Firaga Sensei.

 

Also because the other cooler options were voted out by the audience.

 

Kairi: Don't remind me, please...

 

Riku: Hey, at least you have a power that fits your personality.

 

Sora: What, what happens when you fart after, like, eating a burrito?

 

Kairi: ... I don't wanna know to be honest. (laughs)

 

Sora and Riku: (joins Kairi in laughing)

 

And now that all is said and done, its time for the next step in these three heroes wild adventure.

 

Sora: (kips up, brushes himself off) Okay, guys. Now that that's done, we need to go back on the hunt for Aladdin and Jasmine. (casts Curaga on both Kairi and Riku)

 

Riku: (straightens up and stretches) That we do.

 

Kairi: Let's go! (runs off)

 

Sora & Riku: Yeah! (follow her)

 

...

 

SRK: (stops)

 

Sora: Wait... where are going?

 

Yes. The journey continues. However, what new challenges await these young heroes on their only so long quest? Well, we'll all find out sooner or later, but for know, it's time for YOU, the fans, to decide the actions of the Keyblade Trio.

 

What will Sora, Riku, and Kairi go to find their friends?

 

A} The Cave Of Wonders

 

B} The Palace

 

C} Aladdin's House

 

Welp, here's the options, folks! Sorry there are a little boring this time around, but hey, it'll get more exciting when we actually choose a scenario, I promise. Remember to vote, kiddies! ALLONS-Y! (straps on a jetpack and flies out)

 

Now we're getting somewhere. Kairi has a new power, which means she'll be able to be more useful in battle until we can figure out the Keyblade situation, and by that, I mean, until she can get some actual abilities... which means Kingdom Hearts 3. lol Naw, I;m kidding. I might be tempted to throw in some actual cool looking moves for her. But until then, rainbow ass powers for the win! Btw, if you guys want, do you think you can come up with a cool name for that attack? If you can, post it in the comments and I might use it as its official name.