Seems like the only threads I make are asking for personal advice... x_x

 

Okay, so my best friend's birthday is coming up this Saturday, and I want to do something nice for her. The trouble is, I'm just not sure how this whole thing is supposed to work (side effect from not having friends since elementary school). I don't want to just buy her some cliché gift that seems like I didn't put any thought to it. So I thought it'd be a nice idea to write her something, as we both enjoy reading and writing (and she's loved my writings that I've shared with her).

 

Here's the difficult part, though, I'm not sure how to go about that. Being the socially awkward person that I am, I'm scared that I'll make it too lovey-dovey-mushy and make things weird between us. What I really want to write does, to be honest, sound like a love confession. To be honest, again, I do really like her, but I don't want to give off that impression for two reasons:

1) I don't want to lose her as a friend

2) I couldn't handle a romantic relationship, she's too busy to be in one, and I am almost certain that she only sees me as a friend (I'm okay with that, and that isn't the point of this thread, so please no advice on this).

 

Now, at this point, it might just seem like it would be better for me to just not get her anything. But I don't want to do that. I owe her a lot, more than I think she realizes. She had a major part in helping me go from a kid who hardly ever talked and was extremely awkward to converse with to someone who is only somewhat socially inept. I'll reiterate the point that the last time I even had people I could consider real friends was elementary school (around six or seven years ago). I, unfortunately, don't have the time to give any specific examples.

 

Here are my ideas so far:

1) Write a short poem (I'm really hesitant with this; at least in my mind, poetry screams "the dolt likes you!")

2) Write a little bit about what she does that I appreciate

3) Tell her a little bit about me (I'm more of a listener than a talker, I know more about her than she does me.)

4) Come clean about how I actually didn't like her at first (I though of her as a rival), but am glad that I got passed that

5) Just write a happy birthday message (not like a throwaway saying from a store bought card, something that I make up myself). Though I'd probably do this in conjunction with the above as well.

 

Like I said, I just want it to be something from a friend to a friend. I only want to show her that I appreciate her and care about her, not that I love her or anything.

 

Thanks for any help.

(This whole post feels really awkward, but I need help.)

Give her a bucket of Hot Wings, that always seems to work. Also my birthday is Friday, so you could also get me a bucket of Hot Wings.

Seems like the only threads I make are asking for personal advice... x_x Okay, so my best friend's birthday is coming up this Saturday, and I want to do something nice for her. The trouble is, I'm just not sure how this whole thing is supposed to work (side effect from not having friends since elementary school). I don't want to just buy her some cliché gift that seems like I didn't put any thought to it. So I thought it'd be a nice idea to write her something, as we both enjoy reading and writing (and she's loved my writings that I've shared with her). Here's the difficult part, though, I'm not sure how to go about that. Being the socially awkward person that I am, I'm scared that I'll make it too lovey-dovey-mushy and make things weird between us. What I really want to write does, to be honest, sound like a love confession. To be honest, again, I do really like her, but I don't want to give off that impression for two reasons:1) I don't want to lose her as a friend2) I couldn't handle a romantic relationship, she's too busy to be in one, and I am almost certain that she only sees me as a friend (I'm okay with that, and that isn't the point of this thread, so please no advice on this). Now, at this point, it might just seem like it would be better for me to just not get her anything. But I don't want to do that. I owe her a lot, more than I think she realizes. She had a major part in helping me go from a kid who hardly ever talked and was extremely awkward to converse with to someone who is only somewhat socially inept. I'll reiterate the point that the last time I even had people I could consider real friends was elementary school (around six or seven years ago). I, unfortunately, don't have the time to give any specific examples. Here are my ideas so far:1) Write a short poem (I'm really hesitant with this; at least in my mind, poetry screams "the dolt likes you!")2) Write a little bit about what she does that I appreciate3) Tell her a little bit about me (I'm more of a listener than a talker, I know more about her than she does me.)4) Come clean about how I actually didn't like her at first (I though of her as a rival), but am glad that I got passed that5) Just write a happy birthday message (not like a throwaway saying from a store bought card, something that I make up myself). Though I'd probably do this in conjunction with the above as well. Like I said, I just want it to be something from a friend to a friend. I only want to show her that I appreciate her and care about her, not that I love her or anything. Thanks for any help. (This whole post feels really awkward, but I need help.)

Write a rap- in all seriousness a poem/handwritten sentiment would give away you have feelings for her (who writes a poem for someone they're just friends with unless for a joke or to comfort them about some other issue?). I'm being serious- no joke. This one kid in my English class wrote a rap to present his project and the class loved it- it was so goofy but he obviously made it as a joke, so it was rather entertaining.I'm assuming you don't rap in front of people often, so it would make for an entertaining change of pace. The beauty of a rap is it's not as personal as a poem or song but shows you put effort into the gift. You make a silly little rap and lay down the beat on your own (meaning you make sounds in between verses) and if you deliver it correctly, you may just make her laugh not at you, but at your sense of humor.If you're too nervous and deliver it incorrectly though, she'll probably look at you as if crabs were crawling out of your ears, at which point you get out of there- fast.

Seems like the only threads I make are asking for personal advice... x_x

 

Okay, so my best friend's birthday is coming up this Saturday, and I want to do something nice for her. The trouble is, I'm just not sure how this whole thing is supposed to work (side effect from not having friends since elementary school). I don't want to just buy her some cliché gift that seems like I didn't put any thought to it. So I thought it'd be a nice idea to write her something, as we both enjoy reading and writing (and she's loved my writings that I've shared with her).

 

Here's the difficult part, though, I'm not sure how to go about that. Being the socially awkward person that I am, I'm scared that I'll make it too lovey-dovey-mushy and make things weird between us. What I really want to write does, to be honest, sound like a love confession. To be honest, again, I do really like her, but I don't want to give off that impression for two reasons:

1) I don't want to lose her as a friend

2) I couldn't handle a romantic relationship, she's too busy to be in one, and I am almost certain that she only sees me as a friend (I'm okay with that, and that isn't the point of this thread, so please no advice on this).

 

Now, at this point, it might just seem like it would be better for me to just not get her anything. But I don't want to do that. I owe her a lot, more than I think she realizes. She had a major part in helping me go from a kid who hardly ever talked and was extremely awkward to converse with to someone who is only somewhat socially inept. I'll reiterate the point that the last time I even had people I could consider real friends was elementary school (around six or seven years ago). I, unfortunately, don't have the time to give any specific examples.

 

Here are my ideas so far:

1) Write a short poem (I'm really hesitant with this; at least in my mind, poetry screams "the dolt likes you!")

2) Write a little bit about what she does that I appreciate

3) Tell her a little bit about me (I'm more of a listener than a talker, I know more about her than she does me.)

4) Come clean about how I actually didn't like her at first (I though of her as a rival), but am glad that I got passed that

5) Just write a happy birthday message (not like a throwaway saying from a store bought card, something that I make up myself). Though I'd probably do this in conjunction with the above as well.

 

Like I said, I just want it to be something from a friend to a friend. I only want to show her that I appreciate her and care about her, not that I love her or anything.

 

Thanks for any help.

(This whole post feels really awkward, but I need help.)

Relationship start of as friends some end up with a good relationship she may not realize it because she's slow with the relationship with you. Every friendship is like that because you're afraid of what might happend. I was actually in a relationship with a friend of mine and he actually liked me all along. Just go for it, it's her birthday anyways. Friends can be more than friends. (:

Edited January 15, 201411 yr by inori

I am not really sure how to help ya because I am not good at giving gifts but I'd say you should do the fifth option thingy ....

Show her the OP of this thread it says more about how important she is to you and how much you appreciate her than the other options do. And also it tells her that you do really like her but you know it wouldn't be right to be with her so you're just glad to have her as a friend, if I can get that from reading that post then she should as well ^^.

If not, just ask yourself what you would be most comfortable and happy doing and go from there I guess.

If you both like reading, maybe try to write a short story. But it seems like the problem you are having is you are afraid of making your friendship with her awkward, but I have to say, if you feel you have to hide part of your heart when you are around her, lest she finds out what you truly feel, isn't that already awkward? Though to be fair it can be good to be cautious. Because if she hasn't been thinking about it herself, she will most likely need time to process her feelings on the matter. Again remember it is going to be awkward either way, unless if you can kill the idea of romance with her. (And this would be awkward if she had those type of feelings for you.)Edit: relooking at it, If you confess that you really like her, tell her that you don't want things to change, you care so much about her that you would just like to stay friends almost no matter what. Something along those lines, though for that route I think what flip mode had a good idea with sharing the OP.Anyways that is just my take on it. 

Edited January 15, 201411 yr by Tigerruss

Give her a bucket of Hot Wings, that always seems to work. Also my birthday is Friday, so you could also get me a bucket of Hot Wings.

I second that. Hot wings will make anyone's birthday better

Aww, shucks guys, I thought I said no relationship advice! Well, I'll take it anyway.

Write a rap- in all seriousness a poem/handwritten sentiment would give away you have feelings for her (who writes a poem for someone they're just friends with unless for a joke or to comfort them about some other issue?). I'm being serious- no joke. This one kid in my English class wrote a rap to present his project and the class loved it- it was so goofy but he obviously made it as a joke, so it was rather entertaining.

I'm assuming you don't rap in front of people often, so it would make for an entertaining change of pace. The beauty of a rap is it's not as personal as a poem or song but shows you put effort into the gift. You make a silly little rap and lay down the beat on your own (meaning you make sounds in between verses) and if you deliver it correctly, you may just make her laugh not at you, but at your sense of humor.

If you're too nervous and deliver it incorrectly though, she'll probably look at you as if crabs were crawling out of your ears, at which point you get out of there- fast.

That's a really cool idea, but it's one I'd never be able to pull off. I can't rap to save my life. X_X I might die of embarassment (rapping would be immensely unexpected of me), and I sometimes struggle to say the right things in a normal conversation (by that I mean my tongue slips and words get slurred). If I was capable of doing this, I'd definitely do it though. I could just see the look on her face. ^_^

 

 

Relationship start of as friends some end up with a good relationship she may not realize it because she's slow with the relationship with you. Every friendship is like that because you're afraid of what might happend. I was actually in a relationship with a friend of mine and he actually liked me all along. Just go for it, it's her birthday anyways. Friends can be more than friends. (:

I just think its a bit too early for that. We've known each other for a few years now, but it was only within the past year and a half that we started talking with each other. Writing it like that, it feels like it really hasn't been long at all... it's almost amazing how much about the way I think has changed in that time. I would certainly love to become more down the road, but "Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast."

 

 

Show her the OP of this thread it says more about how important she is to you and how much you appreciate her than the other options do. And also it tells her that you do really like her but you know it wouldn't be right to be with her so you're just glad to have her as a friend, if I can get that from reading that post then she should as well ^^.

If not, just ask yourself what you would be most comfortable and happy doing and go from there I guess.

Yeah, I think I could do that, actually. I mean, I'll have to change it a little since I'll be writing it directly to her, but your right, I think that might serve as a nice opening to whatever I give her. It fits my character pretty well. Thanks!

 

 

If you both like reading, maybe try to write a short story. But it seems like the problem you are having is you are afraid of making your friendship with her awkward, but I have to say, if you feel you have to hide part of your heart when you are around her, lest she finds out what you truly feel, isn't that already awkward? Though to be fair it can be good to be cautious. Because if she hasn't been thinking about it herself, she will most likely need time to process her feelings on the matter. Again remember it is going to be awkward either way, unless if you can kill the idea of romance with her. (And this would be awkward if she had those type of feelings for you.)
Edit: relooking at it, If you confess that you really like her, tell her that you don't want things to change, you care so much about her that you would just like to stay friends almost no matter what. Something along those lines, though for that route I think what flip mode had a good idea with sharing the OP.

Anyways that is just my take on it.
 

A short story is a good idea too. Just reading that suggestion gave me a bit of an idea, actually. I'll have to see if I can make it work out.

You're right on that account, that is my greatest fear. It's been so long since I had a friend like her. Crushes I've had in the past were nothing like this, I actually know her and talk to her on a daily basis. Seeing her is the highlight of my day, and she's honestly the reason I had the confidence to go out and make some other friends. It would destroy me if I lost her friendship. I wouldn't say hiding the fact makes it awkward. A bit painful yeah, but the only awkwardness is what I just naturally have. I don't want to kill off the possibility of it becoming something more, I just want to be sure before seeking something more.

 

Thanks for giving me your thoughts.

 

 

Give her a bucket of Hot Wings, that always seems to work. Also my birthday is Friday, so you could also get me a bucket of Hot Wings.

 

I second that. Hot wings will make anyone's birthday better

I'm not so sure she likes hot wings. Even then, the only place nearby where I could get some is Pizza Hut, and the one we have is absolutely atrocious.

Happy Early Birthday, Xeveemon!

 

 

Yay!!!!! Root Beer and Wings!!!!!!!!

'kay, so I've finished. I've used a few of the ideas here to create something that I think (hope) she'll love. I'll put a detailed description of what I did in spoilers, if anyone cares.

 

 

Right at the start I just put "Happy Birthday [name goes here]!"

Underneath I adapted and expanded the intro of this thread to a kind of letter thing that was just over a page long. Hand Written.

I wrote a short story that I somewhat based off my life, which allowed me to include ideas 2, 3, and 4 in the opening post. It ended up being four pages long. Not my best work, but it isn't bad (I'd say its pretty good myself, with a good emotional basis, though it was based on my life so...). I was going to hand write it, but it just ended up being too much (the letter thing took me about thirty minutes to write when I typed out the rough draft before hand in about 15 minutes).

 

Red is her favorite color, so I put it all into a red folder, then wrapped it with read wrapping paper. I do wish I wasn't so terrible at wrapping gifts, and the folder being flat just made it harder.

 

So around four hours of work across two days, time well spent if I say so myself.

 

Thanks for the help everyone! Not sure what I'd do with out you all.

 

EDIT:

She loved it! She gave me the longest hug ever in return. I've never seen her so happy.

Edited January 18, 201411 yr by DragonMaster