A bit mediocre, but, I'm still learning. This is also my senior project.

Edited March 20, 201510 yr by Hargleblargleboo

Alright, I'm going to be honest. 

 

For your first animated film... this was really good! 

Very nicely done! The only thing that bothered me a little was that early on it was mentioned that the wanderer was looking for a voice, and it ends up sacrificing itself and its light. Now I presume the light would have granted it its voice, but the whole voice angle of the plot is never mentioned again. Was this intentional (i.e. sacrificing its light = sacrificing its voice)?

Very nicely done! The only thing that bothered me a little was that early on it was mentioned that the wanderer was looking for a voice, and it ends up sacrificing itself and its light. Now I presume the light would have granted it its voice, but the whole voice angle of the plot is never mentioned again. Was this intentional (i.e. sacrificing its light = sacrificing its voice)?

Yes, that was indeed the intention.

It's really good, and nice touch using a couple songs from the Kingdom Hearts series

don't sell ourself short- it was far from mediocre! It was actually very good, I especially liked the kh music, I thought it fit very well. The animation, while simple, was elegant and beautiful. The snow just took my breath away, and the scene in the cave was just amazingly beautiful. The only problem was the presentation of the story. The story its self is nice, but remember, show don't tell. I know that would be hard for a 6 min video but it can be done. If you are restricted to only the text on the scene though, try very hard to make the narrative flow with the scenes. Like, putting the words over the animation as it is happening. I felt like watching it that the words were meant to line up with the animation- to symbolize that the words were its thoughts or memories. But when the screen faded to black and the words came across the screen, you kinda lose that feeling and it feels at least to me like a bad voice over. Some one telling me how I should feel rather than the animation and music on the screen conveying the story and mood.

 

Don't get me wrong, it was good, I really liked it and you better get an A+ for that. Just work on your story presentation a bit. And again, don't sell yourself short. Be proud of what you accomplished. Even if its not the best, even if it has problems, even if it wasn't all you wanted it to be, be proud! You worked hard, and got It done, and in the end you had something good. It is far, far from mediocre! Keep it up! If you make any more definitely post them here, id love to see more of your work in the future.

don't sell ourself short- it was far from mediocre! It was actually very good, I especially liked the kh music, I thought it fit very well. The animation, while simple, was elegant and beautiful. The snow just took my breath away, and the scene in the cave was just amazingly beautiful. The only problem was the presentation of the story. The story its self is nice, but remember, show don't tell. I know that would be hard for a 6 min video but it can be done. If you are restricted to only the text on the scene though, try very hard to make the narrative flow with the scenes. Like, putting the words over the animation as it is happening. I felt like watching it that the words were meant to line up with the animation- to symbolize that the words were its thoughts or memories. But when the screen faded to black and the words came across the screen, you kinda lose that feeling and it feels at least to me like a bad voice over. Some one telling me how I should feel rather than the animation and music on the screen conveying the story and mood.

 

Don't get me wrong, it was good, I really liked it and you better get an A+ for that. Just work on your story presentation a bit. And again, don't sell yourself short. Be proud of what you accomplished. Even if its not the best, even if it has problems, even if it wasn't all you wanted it to be, be proud! You worked hard, and got It done, and in the end you had something good. It is far, far from mediocre! Keep it up! If you make any more definitely post them here, id love to see more of your work in the future.

Thanks for the critiques!~ I'm always looking to improve on story in my animations! Like I said before, still learning!~ The learning process is the most vital, because you pick up mistakes and hiccups that you didn't see before, and it's the most fun!~

This was a very beautifully done short film, and I just loved how the music fit in with the atmosphere of the story, you really nailed the timing!  I also thought that the character was very cute!  A tale of selfless sacrifice...a very touching tale indeed.  I'm pretty sure you got an A in the bag, so you don't even need to worry about it! Keep up the great work! 

Edited March 21, 201510 yr by Shigehiko