Does anyone get that feeling were you just know that something that was supposed to happen didn't? Anyone else ever feel like there's a gaping hole inside of you? Well that's what I'm feeling right now. It's simple. I can no longer trust my instincts. It's really sad, but there were times this year and last year where life whispered, I listened closely , and it ended up being wrong. Did you know that there was someone that was supposed to be my little? I had a strong feeling about it - I just knew. And I got really excited about it too. And then it didn't happen, and I had to watch someone else get something that was supposed to be mine. Trust me, it sucks. I've been pretty good at baby predictions - at least with family anyway. I'm never wrong. Until yesterday. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for everyone about Walter, but he was supposed to be Clara. But it's not really about the baby. It's about something that's been a part of me that I no longer have, and I can feel it. I feel like I have a gaping hole inside me. Like something's missing. I feel like I'm stuck in an alternate reality and I'm in tune with the real one - the one where everything happened the way it was supposed to. But I'm in this one, and I can tell that something's off. It's like I've lost a part of myself. That's why I'm not in such a great mood.

Life is unpredictable. Case closed, no dispute, no riddle, it' just that. Life. Cannot. Be. Entirely. Planned. For. You can estimate, you can guess, you can meticulously "prepare" for what you think will come or happen in the future, and even have what you call a "gut" instinct, but sometimes life does the exact opposite of what we anticipate, and in turn, that can make us feel a little empty. Make us feel...out of control, or unable to control our own life and/or environment. It doesn't make us bad people, or inadequate, it just reminds us of how (as humans) limited our control over everything really is. So your cousin was supposed to be Clara, and not Walter? You felt it deep inside, but it didn't happen? Don't fret over that...obviously, despite your own wants or expectations, Walter was supposed to be brought into this world. You may not know now why your expectation was wrong, or why this happened, but there is an end purpose for it. Nothing happens without reason, or so I've learned in life.

 

If you are truly feeling disconnected however, perhaps take a few steps back, and recollect. Say to yourself: Are my "gut instincts" truly what's supposed to happen, or my own personal desires? There's a huge difference. Sometimes our mind and spirit can become so clouded or weighted down with daily happenings, that we confuse the two.

Everyone looks back on things at some point in their life, and sometimes, we dwell on them. I've done my own share of dwelling on the past, and it sucks. Eventually, you must realize that things simply are. If it was really supposed to be, then surely, it would have happened. It's not something that's fun to accept, but it's the truth. It's not always easy going with your gut feeling, either. For myself, I am indecisive, so even when my gut does tell me to do somthing, I procrastinate on it most of the time, which ends up working against me, a lot. But, we are all given our share of gifts, and our share of curses. For me, my curse is indecisiveness, and it's a painful curse to have. I can't simply tell you that it's going to be better, and that you should count your blessings and realize that they outweigh your curses. Working out your own emotions is ultimately something that you have to do on your own. If you let that decision eat at you, though, you won't be able to grow. I don't know how destiny works. Is it pre-determined? Is it something that we create? Or, is it, perhaps, a little bit of both? Either way, what has happened was meant to happen, given your choices, and the choices of those around you. And who knows? Even had you followed your gut instincts, can you really say that the current circumstances would be that different? There are many variables to take into account, with every event that happens in our lives.

Desires and expectations can be and will be pretty often confused and mixed by most of the people. Instincts are just that: instincts. You will never be 100% sure whether you are going to be right or wrong, whether you have been right or wrong for your whole life. Life is unpredictable, in every single little way.

 

I hope you will feel better and I'm sure Walter will bring you some joy as well Perhaps Clara is meant to be your own

 

 

I hope you will feel better and I'm sure Walter will bring you some joy as well Perhaps Clara is meant to be your own

 

Interesting way of putting it.  Of course I'll have to find a guy first, but you've given me hope on that too.

 

Thanks for support everyone and I'm feeling okay now.

Interesting way of putting it.  Of course I'll have to find a guy first, but you've given me hope on that too. Thanks for support everyone and I'm feeling okay now.

Im always avaible you know! :PJkjk, of course you should have hope, I see no reason why you shouldn't!

I've had that before, but I don't expect it to be true. I wait and see. Sorry if you were disappointed. That could have been false intuition you experienced.