Eterna

I kiss my Fianc

My Fianc

He's hot. I'd let him sax me all night.

They like Patrick Dempsey.

As a stalker magnet, I love my creepers. No, seriously, I do. They make every day more adrenaline-filled and interesting. Fleeing from them keeps me in great shape, and their sneak attacks keep my reflexes sharp. There are some who I know I will see if I go to their usual hangouts (campus, my closet, the bushes outside my window, etc), and their reliability is comforting. But I have a few suggestions for the non-regulars who decide to hit on me each week to help them step up their creeper game a bit. 1. To that guy driving on the opposite side of the street from me who stopped traffic, opened his door, and offered me a ride with a creepy smile: You don't understand how the creeper thing works, do you? You're supposed to be driving a windowless white van. I'm sorry, but that's just how it works. You might also want to consider growing some facial hair. I'm not saying it has to be a full-out beard, but a simple pedo-stache would do wonders. 2. Inviting me into your molestermobile is great, and I'm totally flattered, but there's one problem: you didn't offer me candy or a puppy. Seriously. You're going to have to bribe me. I'm not choosy, even stickers will do (bonus points if they're the scratch and sniff kind). But don't neglect that component of stalkerdom. Seriously, respect the Creeper Code. 3. If your windowless white van has a "how's my driving?" bumper sticker, and your ID number is still legible... you probably shouldn't shout inappropriate things at me. It'll piss me off, and I probably have a phone with me. Side note, the guy I spoke with at the aforementioned how's-my-driving number told me I sounded attractive. And you doubted my stalker magnet status. 4. Yelling, "Damn, Boy!" at me as you drive by, or honking, whistling, or flashing various parts of your anatomy will not get you laid. Neither will following me home or playing an uninvited game of 20 questions about where I live. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't work like that. But I might roll my eyes, and if you're lucky, I might raise a finger at you. Hey, at least I acknowledged your existence, right? Baby steps. 5. Randomly adding me on Facebook goes over a lot better if you haven't listed "Boys" under your activities. There is an art to being a creeper. It's that sparkle of rape in your eye, the subtle leer in your smile, and the way you find excuses to touch me during casual conversation. Being a blatant creeper takes all the fun out of the stalker-stalkee game. 6. If you're going to stare at me creepily for an extended period of time, at least say hi or something. Seriously. Plus if you're talking to me, looking at me is simply the polite thing to do, and you'll be able to do so for an extended period of time without me slowly edging away from you. The odd thing about the guys who tend to do the staring thing is that they tend to actually be trying to make direct eye contact the entire time. 7. On a related note, if you're staring at me while you drive, please take breaks to make sure you're still driving on the road and in the correct lane. When you veer off the road towards me because you're incapable of driving towards anything other than what you're looking at, that's bad. If you squish me with your van, you'll have to find someone new to creep on. Save yourself the effort, and steer properly. 8. Hanging outside my windows is totally creepy, and you're on the right track. But remember to kick it up a notch with heavy, exaggerated breathing. It's no fun for either of us if you just sit out there in the cold all night. If you want to hang out front of my apartment during the day, I have a new request: please be entertaining. Those of you who think you can just stand there and hit on me whenever I walk out the door need to step it up. You need to start entertaining me. Lure me outside. Do an interpretive dance, sing a song about what you're watching me do, or perform improve

Patrick Dempsey Fans.

But Lady Gaga said I was born this way!

Tenchelly everyone is BORN GAY. thats right. you're born gay/lesbian. But as you mature and age,learn orm life it hink you either what's hard to explain so "move on" about your sexually or you jsut know. most of the time you know wht you liek and what you don;t like. I don;t its real different I mena i used to grow up and as a kid I liekd barbies, I mean wo didn;t liekd barie dolls growing up. But i have always liekd women. been more comfterble around the same sex, so does that make me gay? n, but i think Lady has a point. bulling has to do with it,but its not about being gay or beign afried of the unknown, its about whatthey themseevles are hidin form the rest of the world. I;ve known people who come out and not get bullied, i knew gay bullies, so its abotu fear or bulling but you here it more ofen then it happends. I didn't understand a word you just said, but it sounded beautiful. *applauds*

I cover all my bases by assuming that the mods are genderless.

I sure am afraid of death. Only because I'm totally going to hell.

I can assure you that I never wanted to be gay, however, I wouldn't change it. I love who I am. But if your speaking of actually going out with people of the same gender than I agree. It is a choice. And all to often people decide to deny who they are. It's sad really, seeing people hide from who they are simply to escape judgement from others.

Born with it, I dated a Woman and she was nice enough, but I could never feel sexual attraction for her. In seventh Grade my friends would point out girls they thought were cute, I'd point out boys and say "Hey, wouldn't he be cute as a girl?"

Tell him to stop? It's not that hard. And tbh, it still sounds like joking with the intent of making you uncomfortable, just tell him to stop.

This happens to me all the time, the Virus is trying to trick you into thinking that it's infecting your computer and want's you to run an unknown program to fix it. Just close the window, it goes away and nothing happens.

Why oh why are you under the assumption that because he's Bi he wants to hit on you simply because you have male Organs? He's your friend dude, he won't come anywhere near you with that, stop being paranoid. Contrary to heterosexual belief, gays/bi's do NOT want to sleep with you simply because you're male. This means nothing, I hit on my straight friends all of the time, he's most likely trying to scare you.

Did you even read it? You know what, I'll just outright tell you: It's a parody.

Bella blinked. Where was she? The cold, gray sky matched her cold gray complexion and the dead trees that lined her surroundings matched the deadness she felt inside. It was eerie, yet strangely...dare she say it? Beautiful. It was so beautiful, in fact, that she quickly forgot the deadness she felt, if only for a brief moment. As she blinked, her eyes adjusted to the dim light of the midday gray, and her mind began to think about how much high school sucked. And Edward. He was so beautiful. Did he know where she was? Was he thinking about her? Did he think high school sucked too? She blinked furiously, overcome by the thoughts consuming her brain. What a beautiful swirl of emotion. He stared into her eyes with his deep eyes that resembled Bella's favorite handbag she got from Abercrombie and Fitch .Suddenly she heard a voice. "Hello, beautiful." The voice was strangely beautiful. She recognized it instantly. It was Edward's. Through her blinks she made out the outline of his intricately messed up quaff, his gray J. Crew thermal and, of course, his wounded bad boy attitude. His beauty was almost blinding, and she blinked to keep her eyes in focus. "Hi," she said, looking down and away and covering part of her face with her hair. She was so awkward, but there was beauty in her awkwardness. Edward pulled Bella to her feet. She now noticed that she was covered in dirt and mud. A thick coat of filth now emblazoned her GAP Jeans ,. Despite this, she was still beautiful. "Bella," Edward said, "such a beautiful name." Pun intended? Bella thought it would be awkward to ask. Besides, Edward rarely joked. He was too much of a wounded bad boy to see the value in humor. The thought of her and Edward sharing a laugh made her blink. She was almost lost in her blinking when she regained her composure. She spoke. "Edward? You're beautiful." Edward smiled. Or winced. Bella couldn't be certain, but whatever it was reflected the deep wounds he worked so hard to project. His eyes sparkled like glitter

I SAW THE WORD SEXY IN THE TITLE AND HAD TO POST THIS ETERNA OUT

I would be so flamboyant and sassy with pink text.

Need I even post?

Despite popular beliefs, being single on Valentines Day isn't that Bad.

Thanks, but being that I've only ever had one partner in life and we are both clear, it's not really necessary.

wow, at least your father didn't catch you "on adult dating sites" -_-' Tell him that there are plenty of worse things that you could be watching online. When he says "like what?" Proceed to show him 2 girls 1 cup.

I have not used a condom ever! Please explain how those ones work?