Actually, the two core desires of humans are 1) to be liked and 2) to be liked. 1 or both is said to exist in the complex of every human being, and having both often causes personally issues or in some cases is the core of personal strength.... sorry I digressed, I studied psychology and have a particular liking for human complexes
I am really impressed by your honesty and forthrightness with your personal hang-ups. If I may, I'd like to offer some advice which solved my own issues similar to your own. Of course, it is all based on assumptions born from the information you have given here (so please don't take offence or my word for law by any means!!!!)
You seem to have a lack of identity. Not in the sense you don't know superficial things like your name, what you want to be when you grow up, ect. but in the sense of you have no firm knowledge of the person you are or even the person you are so keen to become. This could be the source of any depression, anxiety, exhaustion or lack of motivation/ambition in your day-to-day life. This is NOT a big problem as most people go through it either through their teenage years or in what we refer to as a 'mid-life crisis'. Obviously, this doesn't help at all knowing that, but accepting it is the first step to finding resolution.
I began an experiment about 18 months ago on myself, as I also did not particularly like who I was, and was beginning to lose my grasp on who I was at all. As briefly as I can here, (as my personal story will likely not aid/interest you) I was a miserable child through my early teenage years and felt no real connection to family and saw no reason to do the things I was (school, family obligations, ect.) and wanted purpose in my life. I met a small group of people in my hometown away from school who quickly became my closest of friends - so as I couldn't value my own life and live for me, I would live for them, and go to all lengths for someone I cared for. This was good for my personal development.... blah blah blah..... but I went to boarding school where I felt connected to no-one and felt out of place and as if I was wasting my time being there. This led to a drinking problem age 16 which spiralled out of control to the point I was sneaking alcohol into my lessons to keep myself from going mad - this habbit, through someone else's actions got me expelled in the end. Being out of school and with parents who refused to sympathise or help me find my answers I could very rarely see my friends that I had made central to my existence and my drinking got far worse and was not even thinly veiled. The problem was there now for all to see.
My new year's resolution in 2010 was to end it all. I made plans and arrangements to kill myself. However, a girl approached me and within a very short time became my girlfriend. She shared similar pains and hardships (also having been expelled) and we clung to each other for support. She became to centre of my life. I left home to live with her and began my own new life with her. Happy as that may sound, her hidden scars and horrific events that followed in the beginning of the relationship changed her drastically. I grew to feel like her slave, trapped with her and in this new life-style. After a year of this, I felt hollow and empty, just like I did when I made the decision to die.
However, I came to the conclusion that I am not hopeless. Hopelessness is just a feeling, not a permanent state. I took the hollow feeling and turned it into emotional armour. I felt no negativity or positivity, but could think rationally and logically day to day, and could accomplish anything I set out to do. This was bad for the relationship that saved my life, being built on hurt and feelings, but I learnt that if this was possible, then you could be whoever/whatever you want through a combination of rational thought and emotional stability. I tore down the armour, and began speaking my heart and mind whenever I could. This made me vunerable, but I realised something. The people who are most valuable to you are those who won't judge you, who understand you and who support you. Being so open and honest, despite whatever outrageous, embarrassing or crazy thing you come out with, simply makes it easier to discern who actually is important to you, and who you are important to. Clearly, this also goes hand in hand with caring and listening to others to form actual bonds.
Who I am now is far different to who I was 2 years ago. I'm satisfied with myself and my decisions I have made in the last year despite my situation being below the average standard of living. I found emotional balance and most importantly the confidence to be what I want to be, do what I want to do, and go wheerever the firetruck I wanna go!
Now, I hope there was some relevance in sharing a little of my own bleeding heart with you and the others within the community that have voiced their advice and care for you. The message is this: Change is far easier than you think, it's about finding the knack. Like with a dodgy lock on a door or a poorly fitted keyhole: there is a certain way of sliding the lock into place or the key into the keyhole, it just takes a little fiddling to find the spot. It's the same with finding the courage to be who you are and do what you want to do despite what anyone else may think. The more often you do it, the less time it takes to slide the latch or get the key in the hole, see? Just remember, those who judge or pick on you for being yourself and being honest are doing YOU a favour. You know that they will never be worth your time, care or efforts - time you could be using to spend with people you actually like you for you and respect you or even admire you for your inner strength.
I hope this is of some help to you, feel free to talk to me anytime if it does!
Oh, and PS: Cereal is a great diet choice, and believe me there are some really tasty nutritious cereals out there. Bonus is you can eat LOADS of it and not gain any weight really