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I was four and I was left unattended for 5 seconds and mistook a penny for popcorn.

You probably ate glue, didn't you?

Yes.

Yes I have.

Unsurprised

When I said, “I’ll try everything at least once” I wasn’t joking.

My nickname was “Piggy Bank” up until middle school.

Let this be a lesson to me to never underestimate you

I feel like the more stories I tell about myself, the less real I sound.

Nah. I can tell a fake person when I hear one. You are not one.

Weirder fact: I had a crippling fear of Jack Rabbits for the majority of my childhood because I almost died to one.

Now that’s a firetrucking Story™️

how

This is going to sound so fake, but it’s 100% real.

I used to live in the mountains, and my dad was driving us home. It was raining and thundering, and hella windy. He was telling us a story of a laughing jack rabbit that lured people to their deaths by having them crash over the side of the cliff with his laughter.

And as he was telling this story, a jack rabbit appeared in the middle of the firetrucking road, and he almost ran into the damn thing and we almost crashed off the side of the cliff.

The storm didn’t firetrucking help to control the car.

Some cliche “Dark and Stormy Night” bullshit.

..........

can I get some mutual inveators to help take out a loan to get you a Netflix Documentary?

I'll make the first donation

Y’all are funny.

I think one of these days I should do 2 truths and 1 lie, but the responses get weirder and weirder.

That sounds like the hardest two-truths-and-a-lie ever

But it’ll be funny.

I'm up for it!

No denying that

I also have weird ass random stories.

Do tell!

I'm busy.

That was a boring story

🐛

I’ll go first.

1.) I went blind in my right eye
2.) I had a pet spider
3.) I’ve been bitten by wasps