Hey, so I've just been in a sad sort of mood lately and "I've been walking around in a haze lately" according to a friend of mine. So I've been sitting here for the past hour or so just thinking about why I've been feeling the way I have. So far, I've come up with this reason: People expect me to be something great, but I just don't think I can do it.

 

So do any of you ever feel like people have these sort of unreal expectations of you? Do others put some sort of stress on you?

 

Anyway, I'm going to write some stuff as a little rant to get it off of my chest. You don't have to read it, just sort of use this thread to maybe get a similar issue out there, or just leave a comment/vote saying yea I've been there or no I haven't. Anyway, here's my story.

 

So, when I was little I used to be a chubby little guy. I loved to play sports, but I always struggled with them. I tried everything: Baseball, Hockey, Basketball, Soccer, Football, etc. When I got to the age where I got to actually pitch against other people I fell in love with baseball. It was like I found something I did better than the other kids, athletically, and it gave me a sort of self-worth. A few years into it, I'll say this was in 6th grade, a close family friend, who just recently passed, told me and one other friend of mine that he saw us going places with baseball. I took those words to heart and I've worked my ass off to get where I am.

 

Now, skip ahead to my junior year of high school. Going into that year I was roughly 230 lbs, 6 feet tall, and no real muscle. The Fall baseball season came around and I impressed the varsity coaches, they said they hadn't heard much about me(I didn't get much playing time in the lower levels). So, they said they liked what they saw, but wanted me to drop a couple of pounds, and I did just that. When the fall season came around I had dropped 30 pounds and I was feeling good. After a few appearances the team's pitching coach made my his own little project/prodigy. He stuck with me for the end of that year and all of my senior making me the best pitcher he could make me. At the end of season I finished with pretty good stats, and a lot of people were saying that I could go somewhere with baseball.

 

Now I'm in college and it is not what I expected. We are run into the ground, pitch bullpens, and do insane amounts of core work daily. As of now I'm in the rotation, somewhere between number 2 and 4, and now is the first real time I'm starting to feel the stress. I mean every time I pitch, heck, every time I throw a ball I criticize myself in some way. I realize how imperfect I am. But, people continue to put me on this sort of "pedestal". I'm not saying that people are making me out to be the next Roger Clemens, but I get "special treatment" from the coaching staff. I always hear them talking about how much they expect of me this year and how they want to fix my mechanics to get the most out of me. Plus, a few weeks ago I got to go to a Scouts dinner with the coach and team captains. But it's like, I'm not this good. I'm not this guy who is going to go pro, sure it's a nice dream, but in all reality I won't make it.

 

Oh, and one more thing is my grades. When I was young I went to a public school and got straight A's. After I went to a private school and got A/B's. Then in high school I started off strong, but became this B student. Now in college my GPA was a 2.23...Me and my parents got into a fight about it the other day and, they were obviously right I CAN do the work, but they keep neglecting the point that I had good drades in a public school. Also, my grades kept getting lower with the "strictness" of the school. So maybe I was never as smart as they thought, maybe I excelled at any easy level. Anyway, f you look at my major(Forensic Science) it's not the easiest. Granted, it's not the toughest, but this major, in my school anyway, is known to have a huge drop out rate. The guide I had in the Open House told my group that there are generally 300-350 students in this major during Freshmen year, but only about 50 of those students graduate from the College with a Degree in Forensic Science. I have a pride issue that isn't going to let me drop out/switch majors, but it's not easy and I wish my parents understood that.

 

Anyway, that's my story, and I have to admit I feel a little better. So if you actually read this I think you have earned yourself a like, just let me know haha.

 

Well, see you guys and gals around.

You are like my twin, i feel you here.

I have four honors classes, watch three kids, and have had white hair since age 16, you tell me if I'm stressed out.

 

Seriously, being the oldest out of 4 kids is tougher than you'd imagine. My parents work late nights which leaves me up late to get an uncooperative 9 year old, an irritating 4 year old, and a terrible-twos 2 year old, fed and tired out for bed. The 9 year old won't do squat to help, and the younger 2 are always at each others neck. I hardly have time to get any school work done, either staying up to ungodly hours of the night or getting it all done at school. I can only barely take all of this, but there's one last thing that goes one that just snaps my last nerve. My weekends were usually the same, but my mom will get off earlier than usual. Mom gets home, sees that everything is fine, but Is tired from her long work day, I say that I'm tired and am going to bed, and all she says is "Why, you didn't work for 12 hours,"

 

That just gets me every time. She had no idea what I have to go through with each of these kids, and even if she does, she doesn't respect the things I go through each day. She is so...i'm sure you can think of the word i'm thinking of... she'll look at my white hairs and ask what I have to be stressed about.

Man I don't know what say except that I sorry that you guys have to go through all that. But the way I see it is that if you keep up the good work all that stressful stuff should finally pay off.Try to think of the positive things you'll acheive with all of this stressful stuff is over.

I don't know if this will help but this is way I see it. Good luck to you guys keep your faith up.

I think my family expects almost too much out of me sometimes.

 

My Dad will probably have a heart attack if by the time I'm twenty I'm not at the Naval Academy, practicing to be an officer in the Marine Corps, and a few years later changed all the combat laws so women can fight in any position they want. And I want to do all of those things, but getting into the Naval Academy is the equivalent of getting in Harvard, and I just doubt if I can really do it.

 

My younger brothers think I have the answer to everything. And I want to try to be that role model, but sometimes I just don't know. Occasionally I'll just lie or guess, tbh.

 

I also hold the bar pretty high for myself. I want to excel at everything I do, so I put a lot of effort into everything.

 

And finally, my field hockey coach is recommending I do the tryout for Field Hockey USA, which would make me eligible for the Olympics. Cuz I need soooo much more on my plate. I don't think I'm ready to even tryout. I'm good enough I think, but I can't deal with the stress of months off school and hours of practicing right now.

It starts with my grades, evertime my dad looks at the report card, he expects to see straight a's. But when he doesnt see it, he gives me his look. And he always tells me how smart my grandma was, she even taught her own class, he got straight a's. I always tell him he cant expect such i thing fro me, but he continues.

Let's see: I practically run my family, I'm broke, I have to pay for school because I for some reason I make too much for financial aid and food stamps yet I can't pay my rent, I'm a nurse for someone who can't speak and his parents are the "the-government's-trying-to-kill-us-with-modern-medicine" types...

 

So... yeah.

well i was stressed last three years due bullying and i was so upsetted. but now it has been months since last time i saw any of them im getting better and i dont stress about anyone anymore.

It's more like I expect too much of myself. I'm a Pastor's kid...and being a PK can be pretty stressful. One, we move to different churches. I've moved about 10 times in my life which I suppose to some people isn't that much. But it's hard having to make new friends over and over again. It was easier when I was younger and didn't have a care in the world. Two, It's also really frustrating when people from church, or not even from church, say how mature and calm my sister and I are. It makes it feel like I can't mess up. And if I do, I won't be that perfect little model it seems that everyone wants me to be. Once about three years ago, my youngest cousin told me that I wasn't fun to play with anymore because I acted like an adult. I don't know why but that hurt me. I was only 12 at that time and I guess I was a bit too mature back then. I didn't want to play with the kids. I wanted to listen to the adults conversations. I wanted to learn about stuff.

 

I'm sort of a perfectionist. I like to have the good grades, to be that good role model people want to look up to. I want to get into a good university and have a great career someday. I want to achieve something worthwhile in life. I plan on attending Point Loma Nazarene University in San Diego after I graduate from High school but I won't have the money so I need to get good grades and scholarships. So I tear myself down when I get a B or lower because I feel like all my plans will go down the drain with that one B or C. I'm taking all honors classes, two of which are sophomore classes not freshman.This semester, my grades are all B's right now. It's still the beginning of the semester but I'm angry with myself. I should have A's in everything but I'm getting lazy...it's not like I want to give up but I'm just mentally and physically exhausted. My brain just wants to shut down and do nothing. So I'm forgetting to submit assignments in when its due...or I leave all of my assignments till the weekend. I still get most of it done...but the assignments aren't as good because I'm just trying to get them in to get points.

 

I love my parents and I know they love me no matter what but sometimes it feels like they want me to be perfect. I hate making them feel disappointed. I wanna make them proud but I'm not perfect. No one is and I know that yet I try so hard to be the perfect daughter, the perfect friend, the perfect cousin, the perfect granddaughter, the perfect christian. And it's getting a bit too much.

No, I am the one who is usually expecting too much out of myself.I am a perfectionist, and when I don't do something right it causes me stress.Like math in high school was difficult for me. I had to meet with a tutor three times a week.Now I am Stressed about getting into a college of my choice, and how I will pay for it. Also, I can relate to trying to be a good Christian role model.Most of the kids in my youth group thought I was too mature for my age, so, I was considered boring.I am blessed to have a family that doesn't pressure me to be anything, but me.I leave everything in God's hands and it makes me feel better.Especially since I know God has a plan for my life.