Since you're better storytellers than Nomura and the folks at Squeenix, how do you think the series would've ended up
So the rewrites start upon the Mark of Mastery exam.
The first thing I would change is that Terra begins to lose against Aqua, and lose badly. Terra responds by doing something unsavory. Perhaps by blasting her in the face with a small fire spell. Noting obscene, just enough to establish that the thought of not becoming a Master is indeed grievous enough to drive him to do something unseemly. Now, immediately after doing this, he instantly regrets it and tries to help Aqua up. What this would do is show that he does indeed have problems with ego and is potentially corrupt. In turn, this fuels Eraquas to doubt Terra with far more legitimate reasons than just having blueberry stains on his hand, and also develops Terra’s character in that he obviously cares for his friends still, but has savage anger management issues.
Then, when he fails, it’s a double whammy: it’s not just “Eraquas is a big light Nazi jerk face boo hoo woe is Terra,” it’s the fact that Terra just tried to blast his friend in the face because he couldn’t stand the thought of losing. It makes us understand where Eraquas is coming from, develops Terra’s character and makes him much more susceptible to Darkness, and also sets up Terra for some good angst, as he tries to come to grips with the fact that his failing was indeed his own fault, and he knows it. Then, in order to try and ease the guilt, he accepts Xehanort’s words of comfort on a more ready subconscious basis. He doesn’t want to think of himself as a bad guy, so he tries to accept any kind of rationality which can pull him back up.
In turn, this helps out Aqua. She still cares for her lifelong friend, but now begins to have seeds of doubt laid. It’s clear that, perhaps, he can’t be trusted, and that he wasn’t ready for the exam. There’s now more of a reason for her to try and take a step back and look at Terra from a level she’s never seen him before: that of a potential threat. Not overtly and immediate, but again, subconscious. This might also help bolster her own ego and sense of righteousness. One of my problems in Aqua’s story arc is that she is set up to be the responsible one, but winds up being incredibly passive, because she has no motivations to do what she is told. Now, she feels that there is a very good reason to listen to Eraquas, and when she is told to watch Terra, she’s going to do it with more conviction.
Eraquas himself also should not be hoodwinked and duped like a chump. There’s only two masters present at the exam, and Eraquas would know that it wasn’t him that made the light balls go beserk. Thus, he might give Xehanort a stern talking to after the exam, first to show that he himself has a spine, and also to develop the relationship between the two. Eraquas would know that Xehanort has plans, but not what exactly, and he might not want to outright accuse his old friend of something dastardly. It’s a friendship, but a friendship on the rocks, or indeed is being held together only by Eraquas having issues coming to grips. That right there would develop Eraquas by droves: he has deep mistrust against darkness, but his oldest friend is an advocate of it, and Eraquas needs to rationalize that. He can’t gain this level of depth if he never questions Xehanort.
Now, as for why Terra and Aqua get sent out. There needs to be a bigger threat than the Unversed. Because they suck. They don’t do anything. I would actually start hinting at the coming of the Heartless here. Make a vague mentioning of shadowy bugs who are starting to consume people’s hearts, and that they need investigation. This hints towards future games and helps build the threat of the coming Heartless, and helps build a feeling of dread for the player: in Hitchcock style, the audience knows who these creatures are and what they’re capable of, but the characters don’t, and thus you wait to see if they fall victim to what you think is coming. Also, the idea of Xehanort disappearing I would cut. He left the island about two minutes ago, and suddenly he’s missing? That would take some doing.
Into this comes Ven. Now, when Vanitas comes barging into his room and says that bad things are about to happen to Terra, Ven should not sit idly by, listen to every word he says, and then do exactly what Vanitas tells him. What he ought to do is inform one or more of the three people he lives with and tell them that a creepy boy in a mask just committed breaking and entry. If he tells Eraquas and Aqua at the same time, then Eraquas would know that his most unstable pupil (Terra) is likely in some kind of danger, and sends Aqua after him. Aqua, in turn, also thinks that Terra is in a bad mental state, and is more obliged to go and spy. Ven, naturally, is concerned as well, but I would have Ven kept back NOT because he is a walking potential bio weapon, but because he it is clear that he is naïve and inexperienced. It’s not that Eraquas is trying to crush him, but trying to protect him. The father-son relationship is developed, and again, Eraquas walks off from this as a nice guy who genuinely cares, not as a nut case who sits on his island all day and curses that dark. Also, when Ven leaves, it is more of an emotional journey: he feels like he is actually doing wrong by leaving, but at the same time, he can’t handle the idea that Terra might be in danger.
So the rewrites start upon the Mark of Mastery exam.
The first thing I would change is that Terra begins to lose against Aqua, and lose badly. Terra responds by doing something unsavory. Perhaps by blasting her in the face with a small fire spell. Noting obscene, just enough to establish that the thought of not becoming a Master is indeed grievous enough to drive him to do something unseemly. Now, immediately after doing this, he instantly regrets it and tries to help Aqua up. What this would do is show that he does indeed have problems with ego and is potentially corrupt. In turn, this fuels Eraquas to doubt Terra with far more legitimate reasons than just having blueberry stains on his hand, and also develops Terra’s character in that he obviously cares for his friends still, but has savage anger management issues.
Then, when he fails, it’s a double whammy: it’s not just “Eraquas is a big light Nazi jerk face boo hoo woe is Terra,” it’s the fact that Terra just tried to blast his friend in the face because he couldn’t stand the thought of losing. It makes us understand where Eraquas is coming from, develops Terra’s character and makes him much more susceptible to Darkness, and also sets up Terra for some good angst, as he tries to come to grips with the fact that his failing was indeed his own fault, and he knows it. Then, in order to try and ease the guilt, he accepts Xehanort’s words of comfort on a more ready subconscious basis. He doesn’t want to think of himself as a bad guy, so he tries to accept any kind of rationality which can pull him back up.
In turn, this helps out Aqua. She still cares for her lifelong friend, but now begins to have seeds of doubt laid. It’s clear that, perhaps, he can’t be trusted, and that he wasn’t ready for the exam. There’s now more of a reason for her to try and take a step back and look at Terra from a level she’s never seen him before: that of a potential threat. Not overtly and immediate, but again, subconscious. This might also help bolster her own ego and sense of righteousness. One of my problems in Aqua’s story arc is that she is set up to be the responsible one, but winds up being incredibly passive, because she has no motivations to do what she is told. Now, she feels that there is a very good reason to listen to Eraquas, and when she is told to watch Terra, she’s going to do it with more conviction.
Eraquas himself also should not be hoodwinked and duped like a chump. There’s only two masters present at the exam, and Eraquas would know that it wasn’t him that made the light balls go beserk. Thus, he might give Xehanort a stern talking to after the exam, first to show that he himself has a spine, and also to develop the relationship between the two. Eraquas would know that Xehanort has plans, but not what exactly, and he might not want to outright accuse his old friend of something dastardly. It’s a friendship, but a friendship on the rocks, or indeed is being held together only by Eraquas having issues coming to grips. That right there would develop Eraquas by droves: he has deep mistrust against darkness, but his oldest friend is an advocate of it, and Eraquas needs to rationalize that. He can’t gain this level of depth if he never questions Xehanort.
Now, as for why Terra and Aqua get sent out. There needs to be a bigger threat than the Unversed. Because they suck. They don’t do anything. I would actually start hinting at the coming of the Heartless here. Make a vague mentioning of shadowy bugs who are starting to consume people’s hearts, and that they need investigation. This hints towards future games and helps build the threat of the coming Heartless, and helps build a feeling of dread for the player: in Hitchcock style, the audience knows who these creatures are and what they’re capable of, but the characters don’t, and thus you wait to see if they fall victim to what you think is coming. Also, the idea of Xehanort disappearing I would cut. He left the island about two minutes ago, and suddenly he’s missing? That would take some doing.
Into this comes Ven. Now, when Vanitas comes barging into his room and says that bad things are about to happen to Terra, Ven should not sit idly by, listen to every word he says, and then do exactly what Vanitas tells him. What he ought to do is inform one or more of the three people he lives with and tell them that a creepy boy in a mask just committed breaking and entry. If he tells Eraquas and Aqua at the same time, then Eraquas would know that his most unstable pupil (Terra) is likely in some kind of danger, and sends Aqua after him. Aqua, in turn, also thinks that Terra is in a bad mental state, and is more obliged to go and spy. Ven, naturally, is concerned as well, but I would have Ven kept back NOT because he is a walking potential bio weapon, but because he it is clear that he is naïve and inexperienced. It’s not that Eraquas is trying to crush him, but trying to protect him. The father-son relationship is developed, and again, Eraquas walks off from this as a nice guy who genuinely cares, not as a nut case who sits on his island all day and curses that dark. Also, when Ven leaves, it is more of an emotional journey: he feels like he is actually doing wrong by leaving, but at the same time, he can’t handle the idea that Terra might be in danger.
Next: Traveling to other worlds...
Edited by Dave