i'm afraid cause i think i will be an abusive father, and im also afraid of that they'll treat me like i treated my parents once

Edited January 15, 201312 yr by Villi1997

Don't be afraid of kids. You can always abandon them  later.

The reason i was afraid of so much as being near kids because i thought i'd accidentally drop them or hurt them in the most inexplicable ways o_OFear does that.But you know what? You suck it up and you do it anyway! (NO I'M NOT TELLING YOU TO GO HAVE KIDS NOW. God no you're like 15 or something)But i AM saying that if you're that afraid of being an abusive father then let that fear keep you from being such a person.

and seriously bro worry about being a father when you're actually close to being one.You're 14/15. Focus on being a teen first

and seriously bro worry about being a father when you're actually close to being one.

You're 14/15. Focus on being a teen first

This.

 

You may be worried about it now but could be less worried of it in the future. It is a common worry though since most people want to do the best for their kids. Just wait until that time comes and then you should be able to do a good job.

that's bold of you to announce to the community, and I hope it is read seriously and respond sympathetically. I have gone through a miscarriage with my girlfriend about a year or so ago. We've been together for 3 years this month and we both come from broken homes. We've both talked about worries and concerns and this is one we discussed. As a general piece of advice for all worries about having a child, I would say that if you have so many questions/concerns about yourself in terms of being a parent then you should experience more of life first. I can't say for sure, but assuming you are still a teen you have a lot more to do and achieve. I know I have not yet reached 20 myself, but I feel I have learnt, seen and experienced enough to justify passing this on to you. Don't freak out! No one is pressuring you into baby making, and if they are, get rid of them or stand your ground. Been there, done that. Chill

that's bold of you to announce to the community, and I hope it is read seriously and respond sympathetically. I have gone through a miscarriage with my girlfriend about a year or so ago. We've been together for 3 years this month and we both come from broken homes. We've both talked about worries and concerns and this is one we discussed. As a general piece of advice for all worries about having a child, I would say that if you have so many questions/concerns about yourself in terms of being a parent then you should experience more of life first. I can't say for sure, but assuming you are still a teen you have a lot more to do and achieve. I know I have not yet reached 20 myself, but I feel I have learnt, seen and experienced enough to justify passing this on to you. Don't freak out! No one is pressuring you into baby making, and if they are, get rid of them or stand your ground. Been there, done that. Chill

i was meaning i was afraid of having kids in the future

I used to be worried about having kids, but then I took an arrow to the vas deferens. 

I'm afraid of having kids because they're expensive. :'U

i'm afraid cause i think i will be an abusive father, and im also afraid of that they'll treat me like i treated my parents once

 

Complete bull, then why does the world even have kids to begin with? don't doubt yourself like that, only im allowed to do that here when im around okay :]?

i was meaning i was afraid of having kids in the future

 

my bad. sorry, I saw the topic and I guess it didn't click that this was a calm discussion rather than a 'help me' topic ^^, now I feel really stupid....

Know what the really scary thing is? When you're changing their dirty nappy, and they start moving about and it's like

"OMG DON'T GET IT ON MY LEG"

When your time comes Im sure youll be fine. Especially since you already know your flaws. Its the best way to conquer them after all. Sometimes Im afraid I wnot be a good mother, but my boyfriend tells me that Im such a caring person that I wouldnt have a problem when the time came. 

 

Besides, taking care of four sisters for a few years does help in the experience field =P

 

Im sure you have hidden qualities waiting to be discovered the moment your time comes to be a father. Ive heard some people say that they didnt know they could be a parent until they hold the little one in their arms. 

 

Again, I know your time is FAR off and youre just voicing your worries but that doesnt mean you cant take some of the more serious advice to heart!

When your time comes Im sure youll be fine. Especially since you already know your flaws. Its the best way to conquer them after all. Sometimes Im afraid I wnot be a good mother, but my boyfriend tells me that Im such a caring person that I wouldnt have a problem when the time came. 

 

Besides, taking care of four sisters for a few years does help in the experience field =P

 

Im sure you have hidden qualities waiting to be discovered the moment your time comes to be a father. Ive heard some people say that they didnt know they could be a parent until they hold the little one in their arms. 

 

Again, I know your time is FAR off and youre just voicing your worries but that doesnt mean you cant take some of the more serious advice to heart!

 

I totally agree with this. 1/2 of what you need in you to be a father comes to you when you find out that you're going to be one, see the bump or make plans for birth. The seed is there because you're given it thought now. That will naturally sprout and bloom, as Birth By Chawklet said, when your time comes

Know what the really scary thing is? When you're changing their dirty nappy, and they start moving about and it's like

"OMG DON'T GET IT ON MY LEG"

 

rotfl

Hey there is nothing wrong having kids Having kids is like the best thing that ever happened to your life

Don't be afraid. Kids are like your best friends if you treat them right. Wait until the time has come for you to have kids.

Edited January 15, 201312 yr by Diga231