I need....tell it out to someone, and whenever I say it to anyone, they think of it as a stupid joke. Ever since I was about...10 years old, I had discovered that I had been...talking to myself. Of course I thought nothing of it and that everyone was doing it, but then it got worse, as time progressed I began arguing with myself as if there was actually someone in my mind, someone evil. It seems I had personified my insanity to the point of someone in my head who looks exactly like me, only with black hair and black eyes. That person would tempt me to sin and would make all the usual taunts and comments and bad attitudes. I get headaches more now, I get more angry now then when I have no reason to be. Sometimes my personified insanity would shapeshift into the forms of others to use in his taunts and arguments and comments, to promote his sin. I don't know what to do, is this a bad thing to have? Before in my past years I had fallen greatly into his temptations of the seven deadly sins, and sometimes even planned hem ahead. But then I had thought not to anymore, for it was a bad thing to do and against my religion, So about 5 months ago I began to detest this sinning cold-turkey. And that was rough as hell, my surgery last summer diddn't help much either, just think, I was lying in the hospital bed for 6 days straight staring up at the ceiling, arguing wth myself in my head. My mother next to me forcing me later to finally eat something. Hospital food's horrible T_T, anyways as I finally learned how to walk and write again and I returned home my will was strong as ever and even now i've been keeping away my sin, yelling at him in my head to either get out or shut the hell up. Then, as I now have entered my freshman year in highschool, my insanity has pressured me on the pretty girls walking by, the tests that are ahead, what people might think of me, how ugly I am, stupid, gluttionous, awesome! GAAAH! But that all happens in my head, I never dare to speak to myself while around others, only when i'm by myself can I speak to myself verbally. They think i'm smart, they think i'm fine, they think all about me is happy and divine. But this is not be, I am not me, this is merely my insanity. As if he is all that embodies the darkness in me, as if he were a demon from Hell sent to ruin another child. It is easy to fall into temptation, but I must keep reminding myself "I am dead to sin, and alive to holy." And advice for the insane, or do you not belive me? Like everyone else doesn't either belive or not know.

Of course we do.

Now I just need to belive myself, how long will it be? Until I can cast him from my memory? To fly up to heaven with a spirit of happiness, shedding away sin and bad-ness. How long must the war rage on, from demon to spawn?

I would say I'd pray for you, but I already am. You know you got all of us, epsecially meh, right?

Possibly, but alone here in california, I have no one. Not even internet-wise.

IGNORE IT. SIMPLE AS THAT. IT CANT CONTROL YOU, SO JUST IGNORE IT. HE ASK HOW WAS YOURE DAY, IGNORE HIM, TELLS YOU YOUR SINFULL, IGNORE HIM, ASK ABOUT YOU MOTHER, IGNORE HIM.

 

IG-

NORE

HIM!!!

darklighter, first turn off your caps lock, and second, be supportive since you obviously do not quite understand Kevin's situation. I apologize if that sounded mean or rude, I'm kind of ticked off.

It is not only him that my insanity is proven to me. I also think things myself that are untrue, I see things that are not there. I belive the things I think for a second but then snap back to reality and pity myself.

Mmmm, i will keep you in my prayers. Don't worry you can do this don't lose yourself to the darkness. You must find your inner happy place, where he cannot be, and whenever he shows himself, let that happy place free. (/facepalm did i just make a rhyme?/) Find your self in your mind, the real you, and always keep that in your mind and heart. When he shows his face, remember who you are, and that he doesn't really exist, and ban him to a place of nothingness.

 

(that is my KH style way to give advice to you.)

Your words are abridged, your words are copied, your words have lived, through other lobbies. Words i've heard, plenty before, your words are sluerred, /facepalm then floor.

0_o *twitch*

erm, um... Yeah i will pray for you twice every night.......................................

Psychosis. You have psychosis. Only one way to put it. Voices in your head, whether it may be good or bad, it means psychosis. There's no denying it. Psychosis is when you start to see or hear things that are not there. Even if you don't see things, but still hear them and vice versa, it's got to be psychosis.

 

....By any chance, do you have depression?

Depression....I....spontaniously sometimes....get into an extreme phase, to which I stare out into blank space, negetive connotations fill my brain. It happens at school sometimes and my friends recognize it instantly. I don't say anything, I don't show anything. Then I snap back to reality a minute or two later and slowly go back to what happiness I have left, and then join in with their conversations. It creeps over my mind like a chill over my unusually warm body.

your thinking too negatively ?

Obviously shits gonna happen if you know this 'voice' is gonna do something.

Its all in your mind buddy, you gotta be positive.

Well insanity isn't really a physical ailment. To which the brain uses the nerve cells and nerve strands counting down from the stem to the spinal cord to the rest of the body to illusionate the pain but never real pain.

 

edit:

 

Then again, the surgery for spinal scoliosis I had over last summer vacation might block that, for i'm already feeling pain intensely and daily due to the healing, its been many months now and my back is finally breaking away from being numb, my scar from the surgery slowly fading away from its crimzon red to a dull gray.

...Well then here's the list of the symptoms:

 

Abnormal displays of emotion

Confusion

Depression and sometimes suicidal thoughts

Disorganized thought and speech

Extreme excitement (mania)

False beliefs (delusions)

Loss of touch with reality X

Mistaken perceptions (illusions)

Seeing, hearing, feeling, or perceiving things that are not there (hallucinations)

Unfounded fear/suspicion

 

Check is X. Loss of touch with reality. That's a big symptom you know...

I do not have sucidal thoughts, but as I am afraid of heights I do sometimes think of suicide when looking down from above. A simple jump is all it takes.

How about the other symptoms? Do they...seem similar to what you experience?

The others seem, accurate. I have symptoms, I have signs, I am nothing but rambling rhymes. I show not much emotion, I show to no commotion. A happy child I wish i'd be, but insanity and rhymes are all there be.

Then we can make the assumtion that psychosis may be is causing you to experience this "evil voice".

The evil voice is not of what you think. The voice is not sounding sinister or noticing of "evil guy" the voice my "Inner Demon" uses sounds exactly the same as my own. I never really ha even given this insanity a real name, demon or insanity do not fit, but...then again Doom does. If you remember the main evil character in my story. Doom is the name I give my demon then, but it still doesn't seem right.

"Inner Demon" or "evil guy" or whatever you want to call it, it makes no difference. It's psychosis, so we can leave it at that.

You can, but I have to live with this temptationist, this Hell-spawn.

hmmm... Death, it's weird, I don't think I am insane and yet the following symptoms are checked...

Abnormal displays of emotion X

Confusion X

Depression and sometimes suicidal thoughts X

Disorganized thought and speech X

Extreme excitement (mania)

False beliefs (delusions)

Loss of touch with reality X

Mistaken perceptions (illusions) X

Seeing, hearing, feeling, or perceiving things that are not there (hallucinations)

Unfounded fear/suspicion X

 

All the checked things apply to my mind and I think they may have something to do with my current situation... I get headaches often and I don't have a sense of self. I don't think I'm me, but a make-up of other people and beliefs, I'm constantly confused about life and sometimes my speech is really bad and I can't stop being emotive when I start. I see things that aren't there, heck for years I could see (or thought I could see) ghosts as I had done (maybe in my head, I don't know). It's hard for me to talk to people as I feel an outsider and a freak compared to the rest of the world and I have been caught up in extreme depression before due to things like the LHC, 2012 etc...

hmmm... Death, it's weird, I don't think I am insane and yet the following symptoms are checked...

Abnormal displays of emotion X

Confusion X

Depression and sometimes suicidal thoughts X

Disorganized thought and speech X

Extreme excitement (mania)

False beliefs (delusions)

Loss of touch with reality X

Mistaken perceptions (illusions) X

Seeing, hearing, feeling, or perceiving things that are not there (hallucinations)

Unfounded fear/suspicion X

 

All the checked things apply to my mind and I think they may have something to do with my current situation... I get headaches often and I don't have a sense of self. I don't think I'm me, but a make-up of other people and beliefs, I'm constantly confused about life and sometimes my speech is really bad and I can't stop being emotive when I start. I see things that aren't there, heck for years I could see (or thought I could see) ghosts as I had done (maybe in my head, I don't know). It's hard for me to talk to people as I feel an outsider and a freak compared to the rest of the world and I have been caught up in extreme depression before due to things like the LHC, 2012 etc...

 

Well X-Blade, as i've been researching mythological and paranormalalities for about 3 years now, I can say that you are either insane, having what Deathskull calls phycosis, or you are a sensative. A sensative being a person with the ability to notice te energy of the deceased around in this world. When a person dies and still has feelings, emotions that cause ties to a certain object or way on this Earth their sprit or soul weighed down. Some people with the highly tuned senses of either touch or sight can notice the energy of these sprits or entities while they do not even have need to manifest themselves. I would say more, but I shouldn't take up too much space. If you want to learn more, go to my website at: www.mdiw.weebly.com and search under "Ghost". Of course, Till time end bodies, but souls anone.

You don't need to make any researchs about that, in my philosophy we believe that we don't really die we pass to another side of the life.And most of people can't feel or see the ones that are dead, but there are some that can see, hear or even talk to them.