I recently heard Kingdom Hearts's plot declared to be, and I quote: "simple."

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA

 

In that case, I issue a challenge.  In three paragraphs or less, summarize the entire plot of the Kindgom Hearts franchise.  And by summarizing the whole thing, I do intend for you to include:

 

-Each major character, who they are and why they're doing what they're dong. (Sora, Riku, Kairi, Mickey, Roxas, Namine, Xion, Organization XIII, Ansem the Wise, Xehanort, Terra, Aqua, Ventus, Eraqus, Vanitas, Princesses of Heart)

-Each important mechanic and why it's significant. (Hearts, Keyblades, Heartless, Light, Darkness, Nobodies, Worlds, Realms, Nobodies, Replicas, time travel)

-Each plot of every game and what they contribute to the overall story. (BBS, KH1, CoM, Days, KH2, coded, DDD.)

 

Oh, and one last important thing to consider that will truly make it a worthy summary:

 

-It must be understandable to an outsider.

 

In other words, don't underestimate the amount of franchise jargon you'd have to explain, and don't take for granted that an outsider will just accept that removing one's heart creates a shell that look at that! can also regrow its own heart.

 

You must do all that in three paragraphs or less.  That's a generous amount.  A truly simple game can be summed up in one paragraph or less, but hey, Kingdom Hearts is so damn easy and simple that this'll be a cakewalk for you guys.  If the summary cannot sufficiently hit all four points, then it's declared incomplete/not understandable and will subsequently be used as proof that Kingdom Hearts is as straightforward as a roller coaster.

 

Good firetrucking luck.

There's this guy Xehanort- he's bad. Messed with Terra, Aqua, and Ven with the help of Vanitas. Also Eraqus was there too- with cameos from Braig, Dilan, Even, Aeleus, Ienzo, Isa, and Lea. I digress.

 

Sora, Riku, and Kairi were chilling in the Hamptons 'til Riku screwed it up. Way to go. Sora saved everyone and defeated Ansem the Seeker of Darkness though so it's cool, also Roxas was born. He became friends with Axel and Xion- but Xion a puppet is a puppet, etc. Sora hibernated for a year after the deaths of Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Larxene, and Marluxia. Riku Replica and Xion died too pretty sure. There was a girl named Naminé or something.

 

Anyway Roxas hit his head on Guardian's fist, lost his memory. Ansem the Wise was DiZ, good make-up job. Hayner, Pence, and Olette ate a bunch of sea salt ice cream and put their homework off to the last minute. Sora woke up, killed Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Saïx, Demyx, and Luxord. Axel killed himself but came back as Lea. Sora hibernated again during the Mark of Mastery Exam and dreamt about Young Xehanort, but Riku woke him up.

How long are our paragraphs allowed to be.

How long are our paragraphs allowed to be.

 

Hmm.  I suppose the whole thing would be a little less than a single-spaced page in a text editor.

OKay so.... I can't even sufficiently explain everything that happened in BBS in one paragraph. I had to use a whole paragraph to explain the keyblade, Kingdom Hearts, and the Keyblade War.

 

This isn't possible...

BBS:
 
Xehanort molested Ven then brought him to Destiny Islands. Master Eraqus molested Terra and Aqua (he's not a pedo). All was happy and molesty on the land of departure (where Ven somehow got there). Terra Aqua take an exam. Terra fails, runs away, then Ven, then Aqua. Everything turns to crap but not before Terra lets Riku touch in his own words I might add his "magic" stick. Aqua meets Sora and considers doing the same thing but she doesn't like little boys like that "one is enough to ruin any friendship," Aqua adds. She isn't wrong. I can vouch for this, my friend's sister touch my magic stick (giggity) and now it ruined my friendship with my friend. Did I just say friendship with my friend? Why would I? Who else would I have a friendship with. OK, anyway, meanwhile Even's molesting Ienzo. Ansem's molesting Even (he likes it) and Lea and Isa are trying to sneak into Ansem's mansion, who knows why (molest each other?). Oh and Winner's Proof is banging Larxene hard. Off screen. The stuff we're doing is too nasty, Disney wouldn't let us show it, nor would the Governments of any non third world country. Vanitas tries to fight everyone, fails. Terra returns to LoD, Ven is on his knees, arms wide open (giggity) with Eraqus progressing towards him. I'm not even making this up, these writers be naassssty! Xehanort's not having it, he's not through with his Ven. Although it's been like 5 years since he *ahem*'ed Ven. You'd think he'd learn to move on but this is Xehanort we're talking about. So Xehanort kills Eraqus, everyone goes to the Keyblade graveyard. Xehanort and Vanitas completelt ra--thrash the trio then Xehanort penetrated Terra and that's the end of his story. Aqua and Venitus fight after Vanitas penetrates Ven. Aqua wins, Ven gets sent into coma, last thing he remembers seeing is Aqua. 11 years worth of wet dreams ensue. Aqua gets trapped in the RoD. Molests Ansem.
 
KH1 - KH2:
 
Sora Riku and Kairi want to build a raft. They do. It sucks. Sora goes to cave and Kairi enters him then exits him (no he does not eat her and shit her out, she phases through him). Island gets swallowed in darkness. They get separated. Sora meets Donald and Goofy. They travel to Disney worlds. Eventually they meet Riku again. Then they do a second time about 20 hours later. He has Kairi this time (for how long who knows? But she's kinda not very conscious at this point so y'know, easy sexy time for Riku). Oh and it's just coincidence we finally see Kairi on the one world where she could be fingered the easiest? (Think: Captain HOOK). Oh and Maleficient probably used the poisonous apple to knock Riku out and jump him. It's what made him evil in the first game. So we clear Peter Pan's world and move on to Hollow Bastion where we see the Beast who's kind of pissed off cause Belle isn't in the mood to do the dance with no pants cause you know that's beastiality and that's wrong. He helps Sora and Goofy and Donald leave him. Then Goofy's like "Nope not gonna betray Sora" Why? So in about a years time he can do this:
 

 

So they all team up Riku gets thrashed, we don't stop press on to Ansem, who's got some mad black and red cleavage. Fight him win. Mickey comes (Da heck have you been this whole time) and they close the Door. Winner gets all the feels he crais. ;_; Then Sora and Kairi get separated and Winner crais moar. ;_; Then in CoM they storm the castle Riku going down, Sora going up. Marluxia's plotting stuff, so is every Org member because they hate each other. Oh and everytime Larxene's not onscreen you can assume Winner is banging her. So they get defeated one by one then Namine (a witch manipulating) memories feels bad so pieces Sora's memories together while Riku leaves. Sora's a good looking bloak so we can assume Namine stared at his sleeping body and masturbated furiously the entire year. KH2 Sora awakes, goes to search for Riku. Larxene is long dead so Winner gets no sexy time. Roxas explores 7 wonders of Twilight town, summer vacation ends. Comes back in TWTNW for underwhelming cutscene or epic battle if you play the FM version. Riku who looks like Ansem, who's dressed like Xemnas, who appears to subliminally promote mansex gets his body back. But it comes at a price. Ansem sacrifices himself and gets sent to the RoD all alone with Aqua (you know where this is going). They beat the leader of the Org - Xemnas. Sora and Riku go back to Destiny Islands. Goofy has the dry hump of his life.

 

(Despite the image separating the two the above is actually meant to be one paragraph)

 

KH Days/Coded/DDD:

 

Organization builds a genderfluid, humanoid thing which gets stronger and Roxas weakens. This is a big no no, THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE. Roxas "fills [xion] with so much cum memories that s/he feels s/he's about to overflow" then kills her. Then Namine goes "OK let's teach Sora to deal with hurt!" So then John Hurt pops up and Namine's like "not this kind of Hurt, go back to Doctor Who, John!" then makes Sora go to the Kh1 worlds and CO, then Sora learns how to deal with hurt by doing all this crap instead of, I dunno just dealing with it like every other person on the freakin' planet. Oh crap! Xehanort's coming again! Yen Sid sends Sora and Riku into the dream realm. The norts follow them and drop cryptic messages (read: pretentious crap) every world. Sora and Riku play with dream eaters and do dream like physics defying stuff. It's awesome. Lea's back, the Org's back (Larxene not quite cause she needs time to recover from her and Winner's sex sessions). They reach TWTNW (where about 95% of the game's story is) and there's all this time travel, quantum physical schmidt and Sora's like "whaaaaa" then Braig be all "It don't matter baby, just sleep". YMX then monlogues or about 20 minutes. There are many twists. Fans are divided on how this was handled. Sora meets Xemnas. Sora gets tired. Sleeps. Riku takes over. Doesn't sleep. Kicks Ansem, YMX and Ventus dark armour and all his well. But the true hero of the story is Lea who was the first ever person to actually make Yen Sid stand. With that kind of power Xehanort is doomed. 

 

 

END

 

 

...Welp. I tried.

Edited April 11, 201411 yr by Winner's Proof

BBS: Xehanort molested Ven then brought him to Destiny Islands. Master Eraqus molested Terra and Aqua (he's not a pedo). All was happy and molesty on the land of departure (where Ven somehow got there). Terra Aqua take an exam. Terra fails, runs away, then Ven, then Aqua. Everything turns to crap but not before Terra lets Riku touch in his own words I might add his "magic" stick. Aqua meets Sora and considers doing the same thing but she doesn't like little boys like that "one is enough to ruin any friendship," Aqua adds. She isn't wrong. I can vouch for this, my friend's sister touch my magic stick (giggity) and now it ruined my friendship with my friend. Did I just say friendship with my friend? Why would I? Who else would I have a friendship with. OK, anyway, meanwhile Even's molesting Ienzo. Ansem's molesting Even (he likes it) and Lea and Isa are trying to sneak into Ansem's mansion, who knows why (molest each other?). Oh and Winner's Proof is banging Larxene hard. Off screen. The stuff we're doing is too nasty, Disney wouldn't let us show it, nor would the Governments of any non third world country. Vanitas tries to fight everyone, fails. Terra returns to LoD, Ven is on his knees, arms wide open (giggity) with Eraqus progressing towards him. I'm not even making this up, these writers be naassssty! Xehanort's not having it, he's not through with his Ven. Although it's been like 5 years since he *ahem*'ed Ven. You'd think he'd learn to move on but this is Xehanort we're talking about. So Xehanort kills Eraqus, everyone goes to the Keyblade graveyard. Xehanort and Vanitas completelt ra--thrash the trio then Xehanort penetrated Terra and that's the end of his story. Aqua and Venitus fight after Vanitas penetrates Ven. Aqua wins, Ven gets sent into coma, last thing he remembers seeing is Aqua. 11 years worth of wet dreams ensue. Aqua gets trapped in the RoD. Molests Ansem. KH1 - KH2: %0

 

Ladies and gentlemen, the winner.

I could give you a 5 paragraph college essay if needed.

 

Intro paragraph

Body Paragraph 1

-What is Kingdom Hearts in the game?

Body Paragraph 2

-Who are the main Villians in KH?

Body Paragraph 3

-How is Sora connected to everything?

Conclusion Paragraph

-Restatement of Thesis from Intro, with no new ideas introduced.

 

I would create one, but my teacher assigned me a comparison essay on stereotypes.

So, there was all this Darkness, right. Then came the light, and people were like, yo man, this is tight. But then some punks came up and started a fight, and now the entire world’s fighting for what’s right. So out of nowhere, they come up with this thing called the Keyblade. Apparently the world didn’t like that, so it kind of broke up. With itself. And it was nasty. But it’s all cool, because some chill girls called the Princesses of Heart, named Jasmine, Aurora, Snow, Alice, Belle, Cinderella, and Kairi got it back together. But it still lives in separate locations, called realms, and it still fights for custody of its children, called worlds. And for some reason there’s a brat named Xehanort who loved this bed-time story so much he wanted to make it come true. The only problem is he did some bad things to a lot of good people, with the help of bad people. Good people? Terra, Ventus, Aqua, Mickey, Eraqus. Bad people? Braig, Dilan, Even, Aeleus, Vanitas, Isa, and Lea. But he’s a good guy later cause everyone loves him. Oh, and there’s these guys called heartless who happen when a person dies. Nobodies happen sometimes too.

 

The good guys have Keyblades, they’re basically guidance counsellors who make sure the universe doesn’t split. The only problem is that Xehanort and Vanitas have them Keys too. This causes a marital relapse in the relationship of the universe, and as a result, the X-Blade is born. But Aqua Mickey and Ventus killed it, and it was very sad. Vanitas died too. Xehanort then possesses Terra and develops SPD, turning into Neo_Xehanort and General SOD(Xehanort’s Heartless).  Ven goes to sleep and Aqua gets trapped in Hell. Mickey goes star-sailing and forgets it for about 10-years cause that’s just how he rolls. The bad guys are working for a good-guy name Ansem the wise, but that doesn’t turn out so well. He ends up turning into DiZ because he spent too long in the tanning booth( also known as the Realm of Darkness). The bad guys do the same, but because they wore tanning lotion(which in this case takes the form of a black coat), they just turn into dudes called Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Saix, and Axel. (I forgot to mention their lotion brand was chemical X.) Neo-Xehanort goes too and turns into Xemnas. The only problem is he forgot his lotion, but he already has an X in his name so it’s good. They then call themselves Organization XIII. And they are all also nobodies. Blame terrible safety standards.

 

Then these other guys named Sora, Riku, and Kairi show up. Riku joins the Dark Side of the skin Complexion and Sora chooses the light, but because of an imbalance in the universe Sora somehow ends up tanner. Kairi was just sort of there, except for the time where Sora died and she brought him back to life but after that she was just there again. Sora then goes to a Castle after beating general SOD, and Organization XIII decides to mess with his limited intelligence using Namine(Sora and Kairi’s Daughter from the future?/Baby Nobody) and a Riku Clone. Riku Clone dies to Riku while Riku is on a spiritual journey through said castle, and Sora falls asleep. But not after bad guys LARXENE, ZEXION, LEXAEUS, VEXEN, AND MARLUXIA die. Meanwhile Roxas(Sora’s Nobody) hooks up with the wrong crowd but meets the killer with a heart of gold Axel. Oh and Xion(Sora’s clone who is a girl because he loves Kairi. Basically Namine 2.) Xion dies and apparently Roxas is mad because Ice Cream is no longer sold. Then Riku shows up and uses Roxas to wake Sora up. Sora wakes up and goes on a killing spree with his partners in crime Donald and Goofy, killing the rest of Organization XIII, including Demyx, Luxord, and Xemnas. Sora then entered the Matrix and became the one, which Mickey confirmed via E-mail(Which in this case, takes the form of just regular mail.) Sora and Riku then go to become the very best, but fall asleep. While dreaming they meet younger Xehanort before he surrendered to Skin-Cancer and bed-time stories. Because time-travel. They then woke up and now Kingdom Hearts III is happenin.

YOU ARE NOW PREPARED.

Ladies and gentlemen, the winner.

Bah you replied before I could finish!

 

Now it's done!

Edited April 11, 201411 yr by Winner's Proof

 

BBS:

 

Xehanort molested Ven then brought him to Destiny Islands. Master Eraqus molested Terra and Aqua (he's not a pedo). All was happy and molesty on the land of departure (where Ven somehow got there). Terra Aqua take an exam. Terra fails, runs away, then Ven, then Aqua. Everything turns to crap but not before Terra lets Riku touch in his own words I might add his "magic" stick. Aqua meets Sora and considers doing the same thing but she doesn't like little boys like that "one is enough to ruin any friendship," Aqua adds. She isn't wrong. I can vouch for this, my friend's sister touch my magic stick (giggity) and now it ruined my friendship with my friend. Did I just say friendship with my friend? Why would I? Who else would I have a friendship with. OK, anyway, meanwhile Even's molesting Ienzo. Ansem's molesting Even (he likes it) and Lea and Isa are trying to sneak into Ansem's mansion, who knows why (molest each other?). Oh and Winner's Proof is banging Larxene hard. Off screen. The stuff we're doing is too nasty, Disney wouldn't let us show it, nor would the Governments of any non third world country. Vanitas tries to fight everyone, fails. Terra returns to LoD, Ven is on his knees, arms wide open (giggity) with Eraqus progressing towards him. I'm not even making this up, these writers be naassssty! Xehanort's not having it, he's not through with his Ven. Although it's been like 5 years since he *ahem*'ed Ven. You'd think he'd learn to move on but this is Xehanort we're talking about. So Xehanort kills Eraqus, everyone goes to the Keyblade graveyard. Xehanort and Vanitas completelt ra--thrash the trio then Xehanort penetrated Terra and that's the end of his story. Aqua and Venitus fight after Vanitas penetrates Ven. Aqua wins, Ven gets sent into coma, last thing he remembers seeing is Aqua. 11 years worth of wet dreams ensue. Aqua gets trapped in the RoD. Molests Ansem.

 

KH1 - KH2:

 

Sora Riku and Kairi want to build a raft. They do. It sucks. Sora goes to cave and Kairi enters him then exits him (no he does not eat her and shit her out, she phases through him). Island gets swallowed in darkness. They get separated. Sora meets Donald and Goofy. They travel to Disney worlds. Eventually they meet Riku again. Then they do a second time about 20 hours later. He has Kairi this time (for how long who knows? But she's kinda not very conscious at this point so y'know, easy sexy time for Riku). Oh and it's just coincidence we finally see Kairi on the one world where she could be fingered the easiest? (Think: Captain HOOK). Oh and Maleficient probably used the poisonous apple to knock Riku out and jump him. It's what made him evil in the first game. So we clear Peter Pan's world and move on to Hollow Bastion where we see the Beast who's kind of pissed off cause Belle isn't in the mood to do the dance with no pants cause you know that's beastiality and that's wrong. He helps Sora and Goofy and Donald leave him. Then Goofy's like "Nope not gonna betray Sora" Why? So in about a years time he can do this:

 

 

So they all team up Riku gets thrashed, we don't stop press on to Ansem, who's got some mad black and red cleavage. Fight him win. Mickey comes (Da heck have you been this whole time) and they close the Door. Winner gets all the feels he crais. ;_; Then Sora and Kairi get separated and Winner crais moar. ;_; Then in CoM they storm the castle Riku going down, Sora going up. Marluxia's plotting stuff, so is every Org member because they hate each other. Oh and everytime Larxene's not onscreen you can assume Winner is banging her. So they get defeated one by one then Namine (a witch manipulating) memories feels bad so pieces Sora's memories together while Riku leaves. Sora's a good looking bloak so we can assume Namine stared at his sleeping body and masturbated furiously the entire year. KH2 Sora awakes, goes to search for Riku. Larxene is long dead so Winner gets no sexy time. Roxas explores 7 wonders of Twilight town, summer vacation ends. Comes back in TWTNW for underwhelming cutscene or epic battle if you play the FM version. Riku who looks like Ansem, who's dressed like Xemnas, who appears to subliminally promote mansex gets his body back. But it comes at a price. Ansem sacrifices himself and gets sent to the RoD all alone with Aqua (you know where this is going). They beat the leader of the Org - Xemnas. Sora and Riku go back to Destiny Islands. Goofy has the dry hump of his life.

 

(Despite the image separating the two the above is actually meant to be one paragraph)

 

KH Days/Coded/DDD:

 

Organization builds a genderfluid, humanoid thing which gets stronger and Roxas weakens. This is a big no no, THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE. Roxas "fills [xion] with so much cum memories that s/he feels s/he's about to overflow" then kills her. Then Namine goes "OK let's teach Sora to deal with hurt!" So then John Hurt pops up and Namine's like "not this kind of Hurt, go back to Doctor Who!" then makes him go to the Kh1 worlds and CO, then Sora learns how to deal with hurt by doing all this crap instead of, I dunno just dealing with it like every other person on the freakin' planet. Oh crap! Xehanort's coming again! Yen Sid sends Sora and Riku into the dream realm. The norts follow them and drop cryptic messages (read: pretentious crap) every world. Sora and Riku play with dream eaters and do dream like physics defying stuff. It's awesome. Lea's back, the Org's back (Larxene not quite cause she needs time to recover from her and Winner's sex sessions). They reach TWTNW (where about 95% of the game's story is) and there's all this time travel, quantum physical schmidt and Sora's like "whaaaaa" then Braig be all "It don't matter baby, just sleep". YMX then monlogues or about 20 minutes. There are many twists. Fans are divided on how this was handled. Sora meets Xemnas. Sora gets tired. Sleeps. Riku takes over. Doesn't sleep. Kicks Ansem, YMX and Ventus dark armour and all his well. But the true hero of the story is Lea who was the first ever person to actually make Yen Sid stand. With that kind of power Xehanort is doomed. 

 

 

END

 

 

...Welp. I tried.

 

DAMMIT, I HAD THAT GIF REMOVED FROM MY BRAIN 6 MONTHS AGO!

DAMMIT, I HAD THAT GIF REMOVED FROM MY BRAIN 6 MONTHS AGO!

 

I apologise for any mental scars that have returned. However, your sanity was a worthy sacrifice indeed.

 

Sora's a good looking bloak so we can assume Namine stared at his sleeping body and masturbated furiously the entire year.

I burst out laughing when I read this

 

Sora's a good looking bloak so we can assume Namine stared at his sleeping body and masturbated furiously the entire year.

OMG I'm dying from laughter!

 

BBS:

 

Xehanort molested Ven then brought him to Destiny Islands. Master Eraqus molested Terra and Aqua (he's not a pedo). All was happy and molesty on the land of departure (where Ven somehow got there). Terra Aqua take an exam. Terra fails, runs away, then Ven, then Aqua. Everything turns to crap but not before Terra lets Riku touch in his own words I might add his "magic" stick. Aqua meets Sora and considers doing the same thing but she doesn't like little boys like that "one is enough to ruin any friendship," Aqua adds. She isn't wrong. I can vouch for this, my friend's sister touch my magic stick (giggity) and now it ruined my friendship with my friend. Did I just say friendship with my friend? Why would I? Who else would I have a friendship with. OK, anyway, meanwhile Even's molesting Ienzo. Ansem's molesting Even (he likes it) and Lea and Isa are trying to sneak into Ansem's mansion, who knows why (molest each other?). Oh and Winner's Proof is banging Larxene hard. Off screen. The stuff we're doing is too nasty, Disney wouldn't let us show it, nor would the Governments of any non third world country. Vanitas tries to fight everyone, fails. Terra returns to LoD, Ven is on his knees, arms wide open (giggity) with Eraqus progressing towards him. I'm not even making this up, these writers be naassssty! Xehanort's not having it, he's not through with his Ven. Although it's been like 5 years since he *ahem*'ed Ven. You'd think he'd learn to move on but this is Xehanort we're talking about. So Xehanort kills Eraqus, everyone goes to the Keyblade graveyard. Xehanort and Vanitas completelt ra--thrash the trio then Xehanort penetrated Terra and that's the end of his story. Aqua and Venitus fight after Vanitas penetrates Ven. Aqua wins, Ven gets sent into coma, last thing he remembers seeing is Aqua. 11 years worth of wet dreams ensue. Aqua gets trapped in the RoD. Molests Ansem.

 

KH1 - KH2:

 

Sora Riku and Kairi want to build a raft. They do. It sucks. Sora goes to cave and Kairi enters him then exits him (no he does not eat her and shit her out, she phases through him). Island gets swallowed in darkness. They get separated. Sora meets Donald and Goofy. They travel to Disney worlds. Eventually they meet Riku again. Then they do a second time about 20 hours later. He has Kairi this time (for how long who knows? But she's kinda not very conscious at this point so y'know, easy sexy time for Riku). Oh and it's just coincidence we finally see Kairi on the one world where she could be fingered the easiest? (Think: Captain HOOK). Oh and Maleficient probably used the poisonous apple to knock Riku out and jump him. It's what made him evil in the first game. So we clear Peter Pan's world and move on to Hollow Bastion where we see the Beast who's kind of pissed off cause Belle isn't in the mood to do the dance with no pants cause you know that's beastiality and that's wrong. He helps Sora and Goofy and Donald leave him. Then Goofy's like "Nope not gonna betray Sora" Why? So in about a years time he can do this:

 

 

So they all team up Riku gets thrashed, we don't stop press on to Ansem, who's got some mad black and red cleavage. Fight him win. Mickey comes (Da heck have you been this whole time) and they close the Door. Winner gets all the feels he crais. ;_; Then Sora and Kairi get separated and Winner crais moar. ;_; Then in CoM they storm the castle Riku going down, Sora going up. Marluxia's plotting stuff, so is every Org member because they hate each other. Oh and everytime Larxene's not onscreen you can assume Winner is banging her. So they get defeated one by one then Namine (a witch manipulating) memories feels bad so pieces Sora's memories together while Riku leaves. Sora's a good looking bloak so we can assume Namine stared at his sleeping body and masturbated furiously the entire year. KH2 Sora awakes, goes to search for Riku. Larxene is long dead so Winner gets no sexy time. Roxas explores 7 wonders of Twilight town, summer vacation ends. Comes back in TWTNW for underwhelming cutscene or epic battle if you play the FM version. Riku who looks like Ansem, who's dressed like Xemnas, who appears to subliminally promote mansex gets his body back. But it comes at a price. Ansem sacrifices himself and gets sent to the RoD all alone with Aqua (you know where this is going). They beat the leader of the Org - Xemnas. Sora and Riku go back to Destiny Islands. Goofy has the dry hump of his life.

 

(Despite the image separating the two the above is actually meant to be one paragraph)

 

KH Days/Coded/DDD:

 

Organization builds a genderfluid, humanoid thing which gets stronger and Roxas weakens. This is a big no no, THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE. Roxas "fills [xion] with so much cum memories that s/he feels s/he's about to overflow" then kills her. Then Namine goes "OK let's teach Sora to deal with hurt!" So then John Hurt pops up and Namine's like "not this kind of Hurt, go back to Doctor Who, John!" then makes Sora go to the Kh1 worlds and CO, then Sora learns how to deal with hurt by doing all this crap instead of, I dunno just dealing with it like every other person on the freakin' planet. Oh crap! Xehanort's coming again! Yen Sid sends Sora and Riku into the dream realm. The norts follow them and drop cryptic messages (read: pretentious crap) every world. Sora and Riku play with dream eaters and do dream like physics defying stuff. It's awesome. Lea's back, the Org's back (Larxene not quite cause she needs time to recover from her and Winner's sex sessions). They reach TWTNW (where about 95% of the game's story is) and there's all this time travel, quantum physical schmidt and Sora's like "whaaaaa" then Braig be all "It don't matter baby, just sleep". YMX then monlogues or about 20 minutes. There are many twists. Fans are divided on how this was handled. Sora meets Xemnas. Sora gets tired. Sleeps. Riku takes over. Doesn't sleep. Kicks Ansem, YMX and Ventus dark armour and all his well. But the true hero of the story is Lea who was the first ever person to actually make Yen Sid stand. With that kind of power Xehanort is doomed. 

 

 

END

 

 

...Welp. I tried.

 

 

 

Oh, you . This made my day

 

 

 

@ topic, even though I myself understand the plot perfectly fine, I wouldn't call it simple by any means seeing as though Nomura retcons shit and writes this by the seat of his pants . Not everyone can keep up with things when they get constantly changed up and rewritten.Not everyone gets the opportunity to read all the interviews either . Ironically, some of the people who claim it's so simple don't even know their correct info half the time . There are flaws in the storyline but I accept this and still enjoy it greatly however . I also try to help as many people as I can understand some of the more complex parts of the plot 

Oh, you . This made my day

 

 

 

@ topic, even though I myself understand the plot perfectly fine, I wouldn't call it simple by any means seeing as though Nomura retcons shit and writes this by the seat of his pants . Not everyone can keep up with things when they get constantly changed up and rewritten.Not everyone gets the opportunity to read all the interviews either . Ironically, some of the people who claim it's so simple don't even know their correct info half the time . There are flaws in the storyline but I accept this and still enjoy it greatly however . I also try to help as many people as I can understand some of the more complex parts of the plot 

 

Exactly.  "Understandable" shouldn't be confused for "simple."  I also understand the story just fine, but that doesn't mean I didn't need the help of wikis, interviews, and clarifications from other people just to make sure I could figure out how every single plot point connected with each other.

 

Simple is "Mario travels through the Doughnut Plains as part of his quest to save Princess Peach." It isn't "Roxas is the discarded shell of Sora, who stabbed himself with a magical weapon meant for his best friend, but said best friend gave into the darkness because of the temptations of an evil fairy and the disembodied heart of Xehanort, who orchestrated the whole deal, including manipulating the one who triggered the magical weapon inheritance ceremony for Sora's best friend, and took his body, but was later split into the disembodied heart who manipulated Sora's best friend, and a another discarded shell that happens to lead an Organization of other discarded shells, including Sora's.  Oh, and Sora's discarded shell doesn't look like him because as a child, he housed the heart of another keyblade wielder who happened to be the best friend of the guy who performed the inheritance ceremony on his best friend... etc etc."