I'm just trying to get this load off of me. And I'm not sure of where to begin and how to say it. I'm just really stressed out over myself. If this is too much I'll lock it. 

 

I am a shy person. I'm quiet a lot of times. I'm not all that sociable irl. I do have friends and I pick and choose them wisely. By me having friends, I don't want to interfere with their plans and lives (especially they are out on their own, doing their thing). 

Example: When my dad and stepmother (at the time...) plans some kind of get-together on the 4th of July with the family and friends, my brother would invite some of their friends, my stepsister (at the time...) would invite her friends. But for me, I didn't invite any of my friends because, I know they had plans, and I probably was afraid to ask them, and the criticism about my friends (This has happen twice). 

 

In the past, I've been making a bunch of mistakes (when it comes to people), and by me remembering them, I try stay away things to prevent me from making more mistakes. To my dad and brother, I frown a lot. I don't really smile that much, and I hide it away if I laugh. I only laugh when things are funny to me. To my sister, she thinks that I'm mean and I'm not fun. My brother and sister loves to dance, and I don't do those things. My brother goes out with his friends and for me, I don't because again, I don't want to interfere with their plans, and at the time I was studying just to get my skills up and trying to pass the military test. There are times I would be at home alone doing that. I'm just afraid, if I were to do those things, I might make a big mistake (I guess the term "socially awkward"?).  

 

I've once had a bf, but it didn't work out between me and him. When it comes to getting in relationships, I'm unsure about it, since this long-distance relationship didn't work. I did felt depressed about that.  I'm just too busy of what's in front of me. And I believe sooner or later, I'm going to be pressured about that. 

 

My brother is out there in the Navy, and I'm just a college student. He goes out a lot, makes new friends, etc. And I just deal with college life everyday, rarely go out to places (like anime conventions when I am for example), and stay at home. 

 

Now since I'm about to start finding a job soon, I don't know how it's going to work. There are some things that I'm scared about. 

 

What could be the problem with me? Is it fear, my shyness or what? 

You know, I might just ask myself the same exact thing. I'm shy too, and I rarely go places. And when I want to make friends, I have a hard time just having the guts to do so. It could be from the use of technology that makes us stress out in the real world.

For instance, if I am always indoors at home, just staring at technology (TV,Computers, etc.), then my eyeballs will become really wide opened and won't want to sleep, and when I am forced to wake up earlier then I would be too tired and become stressed out from lack of rest.

I don't know if you are going through exactly that, but I'm sure that in some way, shape, or form, technology has a hand in stress no matter what. I like to call this "Technological Overdose" where the human body gets too used to technology and Artificial light, causing it to grow tired during the day and more awake during the night. If some person acts like their social media activity impacts their life somehow, then they may become less social in real life and will just rely on technology to talk to others. I know how this goes, I've been under stress day after day because I've stared at these bright, Artificial screens. I want to use technology, but I shouldn't use it every moment of my life.

Edited July 12, 201510 yr by Steven Drake (SteVentus)

You know, I might just ask myself the same exact thing. I'm shy too, and I rarely go places. And when I want to make friends, I have a hard time just having the guts to do so. It could be from the use of technology that makes us stress out in the real world.For instance, if I am always indoors at home, just staring at technology (TV,Computers, etc.), then my eyeballs will become really wide opened and won't want to sleep, and when I am forced to wake up earlier then I would be too tired and become stressed out from lack of rest.I don't know if you are going through exactly that, but I'm sure that in some way, shape, or form, technology has a hand in stress no matter what. I like to call this "Technological Overdose" where the human body gets too used to technology and Artificial light, causing it to grow tired during the day and more awake during the night. If some person acts like their social media activity impacts their life somehow, then they may become less social in real life and will just rely on technology to talk to others. I know how this goes, I've been under stress day after day because I've stared at these bright, Artificial screens. I want to use technology, but I shouldn't use it every moment of my life.

 

I know I'll be on my laptop a lot listening to music via Spotify or my MP3, You Tube, Facebook, etc. I even play video games just to get my mind off of some things, kill off the boredom. It might be technological overdose. Only time I get out the house, is when I'm going to my classes, visiting my mom, take caring of things with college, I rarely go to conventions now where am at. But when interacting to the real world, I just don't bother people. I just leave them alone. There are times I would sometime get nagged at, that I need to learn to "mingle" with others, I need to laugh at jokes more, etc. I just don't want to make another mistake toward a person or people again. 

I know I'll be on my laptop a lot listening to music via Spotify or my MP3, You Tube, Facebook, etc. I even play video games just to get my mind off of some things, kill off the boredom. It might be technological overdose. Only time I get out the house, is when I'm going to my classes, visiting my mom, take caring of things with college, I rarely go to conventions now where am at. But when interacting to the real world, I just don't bother people. I just leave them alone. There are times I would sometime get nagged at, that I need to learn to "mingle" with others, I need to laugh at jokes more, etc. I just don't want to make another mistake toward a person or people again.

Whoa, that's what I'm going through as well. Except for me it's with less College, and... Yeah. I suck at laughing at certain jokes (Specifically, the ones that about my favorite video game characters) and I made some poor decisions when I was younger, but now I am trying my hardest not to act before I think. We definitely need a professional on here to tell us what we need to do to take off this stress, you know anyone like that?

Whoa, that's what I'm going through as well. Except for me it's with less College, and... Yeah. I suck at laughing at certain jokes (Specifically, the ones that about my favorite video game characters) and I made some poor decisions when I was younger, but now I am trying my hardest not to act before I think.We definitely need a professional on here to tell us what we need to do to take off this stress, you know anyone like that?

 

I mean, I would laugh at funny things, but it just depends. I can take the jokes about the characters, because it's just a joke. It just depends like said. 

 

No. I don't know anyone. 

I mean, I would laugh at funny things, but it just depends. I can take the jokes about the characters, because it's just a joke. It just depends like said.  No. I don't know anyone.

I laugh at lots of things, but when they start talking about those characters, I get kinda annoyed. It's a little complicated, I guess. :pI wonder if anyone else has even bothered to look at this thread yet. Maybe someone can help.

Give me some time. I'll form a detailed response later when I have free time.

 

The short answer is: fear.

Give me some time. I'll form a detailed response later when I have free time.The short answer is: fear.

 

Ok. 

Well, you are probably just very insecure about yourself.  And well, every person goes through insecurity at some point in their lives, but don't let your insecurities get the better of you, or else you'll miss out on a lot of things, you know?  What you should do is take a deep breath and think about the things that frighten you, and well, as for mistakes, everyone makes them, so you shouldn't feel bad about making mistakes from time to time, because you can learn from the mistakes you make!

 

So then, you said that you're going job hunting soon?  Well, I wish you the best of luck with that, and I hope you can get a job soon enough!  Be brave and don't be afraid of interacting with other people!  Just try your best, and you'll be okay!

I quoted your post here so I could look back and forth

 

 

I'm just trying to get this load off of me. And I'm not sure of where to begin and how to say it. I'm just really stressed out over myself. If this is too much I'll lock it. 

 

I am a shy person. I'm quiet a lot of times. I'm not all that sociable irl. I do have friends and I pick and choose them wisely. By me having friends, I don't want to interfere with their plans and lives (especially they are out on their own, doing their thing). 

Example: When my dad and stepmother (at the time...) plans some kind of get-together on the 4th of July with the family and friends, my brother would invite some of their friends, my stepsister (at the time...) would invite her friends. But for me, I didn't invite any of my friends because, I know they had plans, and I probably was afraid to ask them, and the criticism about my friends (This has happen twice). 

 

In the past, I've been making a bunch of mistakes (when it comes to people), and by me remembering them, I try stay away things to prevent me from making more mistakes. To my dad and brother, I frown a lot. I don't really smile that much, and I hide it away if I laugh. I only laugh when things are funny to me. To my sister, she thinks that I'm mean and I'm not fun. My brother and sister loves to dance, and I don't do those things. My brother goes out with his friends and for me, I don't because again, I don't want to interfere with their plans, and at the time I was studying just to get my skills up and trying to pass the military test. There are times I would be at home alone doing that. I'm just afraid, if I were to do those things, I might make a big mistake (I guess the term "socially awkward"?).  

 

I've once had a bf, but it didn't work out between me and him. When it comes to getting in relationships, I'm unsure about it, since this long-distance relationship didn't work. I did felt depressed about that.  I'm just too busy of what's in front of me. And I believe sooner or later, I'm going to be pressured about that. 

 

My brother is out there in the Navy, and I'm just a college student. He goes out a lot, makes new friends, etc. And I just deal with college life everyday, rarely go out to places (like anime conventions when I am for example), and stay at home. 

 

Now since I'm about to start finding a job soon, I don't know how it's going to work. There are some things that I'm scared about. 

 

What could be the problem with me? Is it fear, my shyness or what? 

 

 

 

Here is my response

 

 

You sound a bit like me - but even so its understandable how hard it can be on you sometimes

 

Sounds like it could be a bit of both. It also sounds like that you are quite unhappy with how you are right now. It sounds almost like you want to be more socially involved but then you fear how you might interfere with others, be judged or how others might judge your acquantances. At the same time this fear manifests as shyness which in effect loops back to your discontent.

 

Its easy to feel depressed in this situation and I commend you for your strength to talk about it. First off I believe that everyone deserves happiness, and secondly I believe that people are in charge of finding their own happiness - thats to say you can to an extent give yourself happiness.

 

It may be difficult but you can overcome this, there are ways you can it but the first steps to change must be initiated by yourself. by the way, getting a job isn't all that scary and depending on the type of job you get (if you take is as it comes), you might find yourself enjoying it more than than what you think.

 

Oh another thing is - there is power to being an Introvert; the sad thing is society tends to value extroversion (because it makes the people with extroversion lives look more colourful/exciting etc) - know that in being an introvert you can have just as much if not more power than extroverts.

 

 

Edited July 12, 201510 yr by catmaster0116

I have a similar issue. I'm definitely socially awkward unless i'm drinking, or around my old friends back home. I just have too much processing through my mind that i can't filter things out properly. You kind of have to stop thinking about things so much and try to relax. That's what i'm doing, i don't drink as often as i did so i'm not socially dependent on alcohol. Hell it's also why i'm on this forum, i'm trying to make friends with people who have similar interests as myself. you just gotta put yourself out there and quit over thinking

I kind of agree with The Transcendent Key. To me, it sounds like you're insecure. It also sounds like anxiety. That's not a bad thing, but it can make people become more "secluded". From how you explained it, it seems like you don't feel comfortable with yourself or who you are. 

 

I'm the same exact way. I've never really connected with people and I pick my friends wisely, just like you. Growing up, my parents never really liked my friends because they were "outcasts", but so was I. They were amazing people, true friends who Im still friends with to this day, and we've definitely come really far since our grade school and high school days. But I still struggle with being social because I don't have a lot in common with people, especially people my own age. I have to be social now because of my job and it definitely has helped me overcome a lot of my anxiety. I take my college classes online, though because I work full time and because Im too insecure to go to college on campus.

 

I think you can grow out of it, you just need to take the first step. I still am like you in many ways. I go to work, do my school work at home and stay home 98% of the time. I like being at home. I have made new friends, and we hang out, but there are still a lot of times I'll decline going out because I have anxiety. But Im getting a lot better. 

 

But to me it seems like you may be insecure and not fully comfortable with yourself. Just know there is nothing wrong with you and you're awesome just the way you are. You don't have to be social if you don't want to be. If you do, try it out a little bit at a time. Thats what I had to do, and I still do it. I still prefer being at home and communicating with people through the internet, but I do take time to see my friends even if it's just for dinner. I also have a boyfriend I've been with for 3 and a half years and he's also my best friend. We actually met when we were both working at GameStop! haha

 

Maybe you should try asking yourself what you're afraid of. Are you afraid of not being accepted by others? Are you afraid of people not liking you or thinking you're "weird"? Dig a little bit within yourself and try to find some answers. But just know there is nothing wrong with not wanting to be social all the time. Im not social IRL 95% of the time lol. I like being home, I like my anime, I like my video games, I like my music, etc. But if its bothering you, try getting to the bottom of it. If you want to change it, start with little things. If you don't want to change it, don't! You don't have to. 

 

I hope this made sense lol. Good luck

I kind of agree with The Transcendent Key. To me, it sounds like you're insecure. It also sounds like anxiety. That's not a bad thing, but it can make people become more "secluded". From how you explained it, it seems like you don't feel comfortable with yourself or who you are. 

 

I'm the same exact way. I've never really connected with people and I pick my friends wisely, just like you. Growing up, my parents never really liked my friends because they were "outcasts", but so was I. They were amazing people, true friends who Im still friends with to this day, and we've definitely come really far since our grade school and high school days. But I still struggle with being social because I don't have a lot in common with people, especially people my own age. I have to be social now because of my job and it definitely has helped me overcome a lot of my anxiety. I take my college classes online, though because I work full time and because Im too insecure to go to college on campus.

 

I think you can grow out of it, you just need to take the first step. I still am like you in many ways. I go to work, do my school work at home and stay home 98% of the time. I like being at home. I have made new friends, and we hang out, but there are still a lot of times I'll decline going out because I have anxiety. But Im getting a lot better. 

 

But to me it seems like you may be insecure and not fully comfortable with yourself. Just know there is nothing wrong with you and you're awesome just the way you are. You don't have to be social if you don't want to be. If you do, try it out a little bit at a time. Thats what I had to do, and I still do it. I still prefer being at home and communicating with people through the internet, but I do take time to see my friends even if it's just for dinner. I also have a boyfriend I've been with for 3 and a half years and he's also my best friend. We actually met when we were both working at GameStop! haha

 

Maybe you should try asking yourself what you're afraid of. Are you afraid of not being accepted by others? Are you afraid of people not liking you or thinking you're "weird"? Dig a little bit within yourself and try to find some answers. But just know there is nothing wrong with not wanting to be social all the time. Im not social IRL 95% of the time lol. I like being home, I like my anime, I like my video games, I like my music, etc. But if its bothering you, try getting to the bottom of it. If you want to change it, start with little things. If you don't want to change it, don't! You don't have to. 

 

I hope this made sense lol. Good luck

You have a point. I'm 23 and just barely making it to where i can get my life together. I'm doing what i can to make myself happy, part of the reason i'm single. If i can't make myself happy, how can i make someone else happy? Find what you enjoy, and grow on that. You have your account on this forum, go to conventions, you can make tons of friends. you and i are sort of in the same boat, if you want you can pm me anytime, we can talk about whatever.

Well, you are probably just very insecure about yourself.  And well, every person goes through insecurity at some point in their lives, but don't let your insecurities get the better of you, or else you'll miss out on a lot of things, you know?  What you should do is take a deep breath and think about the things that frighten you, and well, as for mistakes, everyone makes them, so you shouldn't feel bad about making mistakes from time to time, because you can learn from the mistakes you make!

 

So then, you said that you're going job hunting soon?  Well, I wish you the best of luck with that, and I hope you can get a job soon enough!  Be brave and don't be afraid of interacting with other people!  Just try your best, and you'll be okay!

 

I'll probably still be what I am just to be on the safe side, with others. And my mistakes, I can't forget them because it's of what you said: I have learn from them, and you are right about that. 

When it comes to jobs, I just know I might be with people that could misunderstood me, be into different things than me, and without a doubt put me down. But I'll try and be strong, and just keep my focus on my job. 

 

I kind of agree with The Transcendent Key. To me, it sounds like you're insecure. It also sounds like anxiety. That's not a bad thing, but it can make people become more "secluded". From how you explained it, it seems like you don't feel comfortable with yourself or who you are. 

 

I'm the same exact way. I've never really connected with people and I pick my friends wisely, just like you. Growing up, my parents never really liked my friends because they were "outcasts", but so was I. They were amazing people, true friends who Im still friends with to this day, and we've definitely come really far since our grade school and high school days. But I still struggle with being social because I don't have a lot in common with people, especially people my own age. I have to be social now because of my job and it definitely has helped me overcome a lot of my anxiety. I take my college classes online, though because I work full time and because Im too insecure to go to college on campus.

 

I think you can grow out of it, you just need to take the first step. I still am like you in many ways. I go to work, do my school work at home and stay home 98% of the time. I like being at home. I have made new friends, and we hang out, but there are still a lot of times I'll decline going out because I have anxiety. But Im getting a lot better. 

 

But to me it seems like you may be insecure and not fully comfortable with yourself. Just know there is nothing wrong with you and you're awesome just the way you are. You don't have to be social if you don't want to be. If you do, try it out a little bit at a time. Thats what I had to do, and I still do it. I still prefer being at home and communicating with people through the internet, but I do take time to see my friends even if it's just for dinner. I also have a boyfriend I've been with for 3 and a half years and he's also my best friend. We actually met when we were both working at GameStop! haha

 

Maybe you should try asking yourself what you're afraid of. Are you afraid of not being accepted by others? Are you afraid of people not liking you or thinking you're "weird"? Dig a little bit within yourself and try to find some answers. But just know there is nothing wrong with not wanting to be social all the time. Im not social IRL 95% of the time lol. I like being home, I like my anime, I like my video games, I like my music, etc. But if its bothering you, try getting to the bottom of it. If you want to change it, start with little things. If you don't want to change it, don't! You don't have to. 

 

I hope this made sense lol. Good luck

 

I'm alright with myself, despite some people may think negative about shy people. I'm just trying to find some kind of peace for me. And the criticism about my friends, to me they are nice and one of them could sometimes try and knock me out of my shell to talk to others, but my shyness flairs up.

To my parents (even my stepmother at the time), they have their own thoughts about them. I just didn't like when my mom, compared one of my friends with my brother's friends (behavior wise). He did mention to me that he was nervous. 

When it comes to community college, I do go out on campuses to my classes, but I'm not sociable to others. I'll sometimes talk to my classmates, even instructors if they ask me a question. I do interact on the internet when it comes to my friends and other people that are in to kind of the same things with me. 

I just stay home, because I don't know where else to go, I don't want to waste gas, and even if I have a job, I don't where to go if I were to take some leave. I would try to go to the conventions or if I want to see my mom or grandmother, I would drive there.

Boyfriend relationships on the other hand, I'm just still busy and just unsure about them. I don't want to be a guy, that would treat me like dirt and "the worst case scenario". Men isn't really on my mind, and my dad is proud of me, staying focus of what I'm doing. 

I just have to be strong on some things, and try new things, but just start really small. 

 

I quoted your post here so I could look back and forth

 

 

 

 

 

Here is my response

 

 

You sound a bit like me - but even so its understandable how hard it can be on you sometimes

 

Sounds like it could be a bit of both. It also sounds like that you are quite unhappy with how you are right now. It sounds almost like you want to be more socially involved but then you fear how you might interfere with others, be judged or how others might judge your acquantances. At the same time this fear manifests as shyness which in effect loops back to your discontent.

 

Its easy to feel depressed in this situation and I commend you for your strength to talk about it. First off I believe that everyone deserves happiness, and secondly I believe that people are in charge of finding their own happiness - thats to say you can to an extent give yourself happiness.

 

It may be difficult but you can overcome this, there are ways you can it but the first steps to change must be initiated by yourself. by the way, getting a job isn't all that scary and depending on the type of job you get (if you take is as it comes), you might find yourself enjoying it more than than what you think.

 

Oh another thing is - there is power to being an Introvert; the sad thing is society tends to value extroversion (because it makes the people with extroversion lives look more colourful/exciting etc) - know that in being an introvert you can have just as much if not more power than extroverts.

 

 

 

I'm alright of how I am, it's just there some things I'm not happy about when it comes to me. To others like my sister, it seems like I'm not doing much of (I guess) of what she expects. It seems she would go to my brother more than me. I just think she doesn't understand about me. When it comes to interaction with people, yeah, I'm afraid of the whole outcome (the probability) if I were to mess up for people to judge me, ruin one's plans, and such. 

The only happiness I can only think of, is the very things I'm into (video games, anime, etc). It's like my peace, to get my mind off of things. 

I guess the only thing when getting at job that scares me, is one being sociable, people talking to me about a certain topic that isn't my cup of tea, at potential confrontations from co-workers and managers/supervisor. My dad always talks about his co-workers, his manager/supervisors, even people as he do his job outside in the streets. Only thing I guess I have to do and deal with it and try my best to overcome it.

I just think being an introvert despite the downsides, that's one way of finding peace. 

 

I have a similar issue. I'm definitely socially awkward unless i'm drinking, or around my old friends back home. I just have too much processing through my mind that i can't filter things out properly. You kind of have to stop thinking about things so much and try to relax. That's what i'm doing, i don't drink as often as i did so i'm not socially dependent on alcohol. Hell it's also why i'm on this forum, i'm trying to make friends with people who have similar interests as myself. you just gotta put yourself out there and quit over thinking

 

Relaxing is kinda not my best points but I'll try. I just talk to people that has similar interest because, I know there are others that wouldn't understand and I would just leave them alone. 

 

 

 

Other than that, thanks guys for the tips and hearing me out. 

I know the feeling.  My friends are all busy with jobs and boyfriends and all that other wonderful stuff.  I don't make any plans anymore because they keep falling through.

I'll probably still be what I am just to be on the safe side, with others. And my mistakes, I can't forget them because it's of what you said: I have learn from them, and you are right about that. 

When it comes to jobs, I just know I might be with people that could misunderstood me, be into different things than me, and without a doubt put me down. But I'll try and be strong, and just keep my focus on my job. 

Hey, no one said that things would be easy.  Obviously, it takes time to adjust to new sights, new people and new prospects, but you've got to do your best to brave all these new things you're coming across, and take charge of your own life!  Never regret being yourself, and always keep being nothing more than who you are.  I'm pretty sure that with time, you'll be able to grow out of your fears and insecurities, and you'll have become a much more experienced person because of it! ^^

I'm just trying to get this load off of me. And I'm not sure of where to begin and how to say it. I'm just really stressed out over myself. If this is too much I'll lock it. 

 

I am a shy person. I'm quiet a lot of times. I'm not all that sociable irl. I do have friends and I pick and choose them wisely. By me having friends, I don't want to interfere with their plans and lives (especially they are out on their own, doing their thing). 

Example: When my dad and stepmother (at the time...) plans some kind of get-together on the 4th of July with the family and friends, my brother would invite some of their friends, my stepsister (at the time...) would invite her friends. But for me, I didn't invite any of my friends because, I know they had plans, and I probably was afraid to ask them, and the criticism about my friends (This has happen twice). 

 

In the past, I've been making a bunch of mistakes (when it comes to people), and by me remembering them, I try stay away things to prevent me from making more mistakes. To my dad and brother, I frown a lot. I don't really smile that much, and I hide it away if I laugh. I only laugh when things are funny to me. To my sister, she thinks that I'm mean and I'm not fun. My brother and sister loves to dance, and I don't do those things. My brother goes out with his friends and for me, I don't because again, I don't want to interfere with their plans, and at the time I was studying just to get my skills up and trying to pass the military test. There are times I would be at home alone doing that. I'm just afraid, if I were to do those things, I might make a big mistake (I guess the term "socially awkward"?).  

 

I've once had a bf, but it didn't work out between me and him. When it comes to getting in relationships, I'm unsure about it, since this long-distance relationship didn't work. I did felt depressed about that.  I'm just too busy of what's in front of me. And I believe sooner or later, I'm going to be pressured about that. 

 

My brother is out there in the Navy, and I'm just a college student. He goes out a lot, makes new friends, etc. And I just deal with college life everyday, rarely go out to places (like anime conventions when I am for example), and stay at home. 

 

Now since I'm about to start finding a job soon, I don't know how it's going to work. There are some things that I'm scared about. 

 

What could be the problem with me? Is it fear, my shyness or what? 

You already have the answer: You're afraid to make another mistake.

 

Now, mind you, this is to be expected since we're indoctrinated at a very young age to avoid making mistakes and to be perfect first time, every time. Unfortunately, the result is making a person who is too afraid to do anything for fear of making a mistake, whatever it may be. You're not shy about wanting to hang out about friends; it sounds like you're afraid that they'll hate you if you decide to call on them and ask to hang out. 

 

So here's where I make the jump, and I can relate to this because I'm the same thing [although it's for the same reasons, it's more extreme.]. Whenever you're scared to ask your friends about wanting to hang out, just remember: you're asking, not demanding them. If they get mad, well first of all they're not a good friend, and second of all, remember that the point of asking is that if they can't, the two of you can work out an agreement for some other time. That's it. No negative repercussion save for a minute of their time, and the benefits outweigh the risk, if you can even call it that. The only 'risk' there is is "No," and there's no harm in asking.

 

I know it's tough to start, so here is a way to break into it: before thinking about asking to hang out with your friends, have a plan ready and discuss it with them. Ask if they want to go to the museum, amusement park, or even a get together, it just has to be on objective of some sort. Have a back up just in case they don't like it, and if that doesn't work, you can always ask them what they have in mind about what they want to do. If they ask why, just be blunt! "I'm bored!!!!" is usually a surefire way to jumpstart an adventure, and is the leading cause of memorable moments between friends

 

Relationship: Since I have no experience with this [i've never had a girlfriend], I dunno what to say.

 

Remember: Baby steps first. Once you develop a healthy attitude about this in regards to your friends, then the workplace will be no issue for you.

 

Also: What branch are you going into?

Edited July 13, 201510 yr by Javelin434

Based from your story I can say it's because of your fear. Sometimes I also feel like that after I do a mistake. I'm afraid that I will repeat the same mistake.

 

The suggestion that I can give you is I think you should try another way to make friends. For example, you can discuss the plan with your friends first when and where you want to go (Friends I mean are the closest to you).To be honest, I agree with what Javelin434 said above.

 

Well, I'm also starting to look for job too. But I guess you should stay positive at first that you are strong and you're not afraid to make mistake. I know that I also have issue like this and it's not easy to prevent the same mistake. Once I have ever got these words from my father, "don't be afraid to make mistakes, sometimes mistakes are the way to make yourself grown up, not in physical, but in your softskills and attitude." I start to try as best as I can to not being down after I make mistake. So, I can say to you, it's natural if people make mistake, whether it's same or not, and once if we make mistakes, learn from the mistake, not run from it and don't be afraid to it.

Edited July 13, 201510 yr by Felicia Novita

You already have the answer: You're afraid to make another mistake.

 

Now, mind you, this is to be expected since we're indoctrinated at a very young age to avoid making mistakes and to be perfect first time, every time. Unfortunately, the result is making a person who is too afraid to do anything for fear of making a mistake, whatever it may be. You're not shy about wanting to hang out about friends; it sounds like you're afraid that they'll hate you if you decide to call on them and ask to hang out. 

 

So here's where I make the jump, and I can relate to this because I'm the same thing [although it's for the same reasons, it's more extreme.]. Whenever you're scared to ask your friends about wanting to hang out, just remember: you're asking, not demanding them. If they get mad, well first of all they're not a good friend, and second of all, remember that the point of asking is that if they can't, the two of you can work out an agreement for some other time. That's it. No negative repercussion save for a minute of their time, and the benefits outweigh the risk, if you can even call it that. The only 'risk' there is is "No," and there's no harm in asking.

 

I know it's tough to start, so here is a way to break into it: before thinking about asking to hang out with your friends, have a plan ready and discuss it with them. Ask if they want to go to the museum, amusement park, or even a get together, it just has to be on objective of some sort. Have a back up just in case they don't like it, and if that doesn't work, you can always ask them what they have in mind about what they want to do. If they ask why, just be blunt! "I'm bored!!!!" is usually a surefire way to jumpstart an adventure, and is the leading cause of memorable moments between friends

 

Relationship: Since I have no experience with this [i've never had a girlfriend], I dunno what to say.

 

Remember: Baby steps first. Once you develop a healthy attitude about this in regards to your friends, then the workplace will be no issue for you.

 

Also: What branch are you going into?

 

Ok. I'll try and ask them in the future. I just don't wan't to hear the criticism about my friends (if I were to invite them to some gathering) that's one of the reasons why I'm afraid and plus I just don't want to interfere with their plans. 

At the time, I was trying to get in to the Navy. I'm still trying to get in there. Just sooner or later, I have to find a job. 

 

Based from your story I can say it's because of your fear. Sometimes I also feel like that after I do a mistake. I'm afraid that I will repeat the same mistake.

 

The suggestion that I can give you is I think you should try another way to make friends. For example, you can discuss the plan with your friends first when and where you want to go (Friends I mean are the closest to you).To be honest, I agree with what Javelin434 said above.

 

Well, I'm also starting to look for job too. But I guess you should stay positive at first that you are strong and you're not afraid to make mistake. I know that I also have issue like this and it's not easy to prevent the same mistake. Once I have ever got these words from my father, "don't be afraid to make mistakes, sometimes mistakes are the way to make yourself grown up, not in physical, but in your softskills and attitude." I start to try as best as I can to not being down after I make mistake. So, I can say to you, it's natural if people make mistake, whether it's same or not, and once if we make mistakes, learn from the mistake, not run from it and don't be afraid to it.

 

Ok. 

I know. I just have to learn from my mistakes.