Okay, I don't know if I'm just being overly sensitive or if I'm correct to be upset but this is how it goes....

 

where do I even begin

 

Breathes Deeply

 

 

I rented a horror film to watch with the family since noone in my family has seen this film (properly). Being a very-very busy student who always spends his time studying, I hardly have any family time to spend with my parents and brother - but when I do its usually during dinner and even then we don't talk much and afterwards everyone kinda goes back to doing their thing. There is no sense of family warmth ya know?

 

Okay but thats not the depressing part...

 

Thing is I FINALLY managed to round up the family to watch the film with me....and you know what?

 

My father and mother fall asleep 5 mins into the movie...

my younger brother is on the facebook messenger of his phone throughout the entire film chatting to god knows who (I can tell because of the jingle that plays when he recieves a message....plus he is always on his phone messaging someone - I swear to Xehanort's uncle, even during dinner he has his phone in hand. Not only do I find it incredibly rude but its also really bad manners and table etiquette especially over dinner when its supposed to be family time. If you enjoy talking to your friends so much then frickin' go live with them! You don't work, you don't wash your own dishes or do the laundry; therefore if you leave the household It'll be one less dish for me to wash as well as less laundry for me to do anyway! Not to mention you freeload and leech money of my our hardworking parents every week and you're legally an adult! At least I pay for groceries out of my own pocket and make dinner on some days as well do the chores!).

 

And so I tell my parents that if they wanted to, they can go to bed and don't feel inclined to force themselves to watch it with me. I also tell my brother that if he wants to go do his own thing he can (because honestly sitting here with a phone in hand and tapping away is incredibly distracting anyway)

 

I end up as the only person who is actually 'watching' even though everybody was technically there but their minds and hearts were elsewhere. The film was 'insidious 2' and to be honest, I wasn't scared of the horror scenes in the film - my mind was more upset and disappointed at what was left of the ties that used to bind us as a family.

 

When the film ended like half and hour ago, I just felt really really really empty you know (like Roxas during his first few days in the Organisation)

I decided to make a post here and rant (so yeah....)

 

I dunno....are 24 year old asian males supposed to feel like that after being faced with a situation like that?

I mean its likely in the next decade I might even get married and we won't have this kind of time to spend as a family anymore - I wanted to cherish what time we all had left with each other...

 

I'm sorry for being so negative.

I'm usually a positive person for those who know me

But I guess this is how I feel and I can't help it...

Maybe this time next week this will all be dirt swept under the carpet

 

I just really hope someday I can find a good friend or someone whom can physically be here and genuinely enjoy good film with me.

 

as Zexion would've said...."it's deplorable... The Organization used to be the rope that binds us. And now it's full of kinks."

 

 

 

 

Anyway, I'm going to bed - I'll read the replies tomorrow

 

if you read my essay then I sincerely thank you for taking the time to open your heart out to listening to the troubles of a complete stranger over the web.

I'm sorry to hear that catmaster family is very important, so I shall I pray for you and your family.I'm sort of in the same boat as you, so I can understand your situation. I too am a 24 year old student with little free time to spare, and it's hard to get everyone together to enjoy something. I'm the oldest however, so I can (lovingly) boss my siblings around and tell them to turn off their electronics. It's hard to get my dad involved in things,not that he doesn't love us, he just would rather be doing other things.I've found that being open about it works out. It's awkward sometimes, but they're family, and they'll love family no matter what.I hope that, like you said, it all gets swept under the rug by this time next week.

I can sort of relate to that. Sometimes when I go out and have dinner with my family , I just sit there looking at some of my family members playing with their phones . Its like there is no longer any communication between us. And I like you want to cherish every moment with my family members since i'm studying overseas and only return to my home country around mid July or December . So I guess the thing you can do is talk to them about it .

Too bad about family and your younger brother that always go on Facebook. I hope you'll feel better catmaster0116! I believe in you!

Okay, I don't know if I'm just being overly sensitive or if I'm correct to be upset but this is how it goes....

 

where do I even begin

 

Breathes Deeply

 

 

I rented a horror film to watch with the family since noone in my family has seen this film (properly). Being a very-very busy student who always spends his time studying, I hardly have any family time to spend with my parents and brother - but when I do its usually during dinner and even then we don't talk much and afterwards everyone kinda goes back to doing their thing. There is no sense of family warmth ya know?

 

Okay but thats not the depressing part...

 

Thing is I FINALLY managed to round up the family to watch the film with me....and you know what?

 

My father and mother fall asleep 5 mins into the movie...

my younger brother is on the facebook messenger of his phone throughout the entire film chatting to god knows who (I can tell because of the jingle that plays when he recieves a message....plus he is always on his phone messaging someone - I swear to Xehanort's uncle, even during dinner he has his phone in hand. Not only do I find it incredibly rude but its also really bad manners and table etiquette especially over dinner when its supposed to be family time. If you enjoy talking to your friends so much then frickin' go live with them! You don't work, you don't wash your own dishes or do the laundry; therefore if you leave the household It'll be one less dish for me to wash as well as less laundry for me to do anyway! Not to mention you freeload and leech money of my our hardworking parents every week and you're legally an adult! At least I pay for groceries out of my own pocket and make dinner on some days as well do the chores!).

 

And so I tell my parents that if they wanted to, they can go to bed and don't feel inclined to force themselves to watch it with me. I also tell my brother that if he wants to go do his own thing he can (because honestly sitting here with a phone in hand and tapping away is incredibly distracting anyway)

 

I end up as the only person who is actually 'watching' even though everybody was technically there but their minds and hearts were elsewhere. The film was 'insidious 2' and to be honest, I wasn't scared of the horror scenes in the film - my mind was more upset and disappointed at what was left of the ties that used to bind us as a family.

 

When the film ended like half and hour ago, I just felt really really really empty you know (like Roxas during his first few days in the Organisation)

I decided to make a post here and rant (so yeah.... )

 

I dunno....are 24 year old asian males supposed to feel like that after being faced with a situation like that?

I mean its likely in the next decade I might even get married and we won't have this kind of time to spend as a family anymore - I wanted to cherish what time we all had left with each other...

 

I'm sorry for being so negative.

I'm usually a positive person for those who know me

But I guess this is how I feel and I can't help it...

Maybe this time next week this will all be dirt swept under the carpet

 

I just really hope someday I can find a good friend or someone whom can physically be here and genuinely enjoy good film with me.

 

as Zexion would've said...."it's deplorable... The Organization used to be the rope that binds us. And now it's full of kinks."

 

 

 

 

Anyway, I'm going to bed - I'll read the replies tomorrow

 

if you read my essay then I sincerely thank you for taking the time to open your heart out to listening to the troubles of a complete stranger over the web.

 

In terms of your mother and father, they were probably tired from working all day, cleaning and so forth. I'm sure your parents didn't mean to upset you like that, sometimes people hurt others unintentionally. Family can make mistakes too, they are just as human as the rest of us.

 

As for your younger brother, he'll learn eventually that there's more to life than facebook. Perhaps his friends were upset and they needed support so he was messaging them to cheer them up. There's a reason for everything.

 

I urge you to sit down with your family and actually talk to them when you have a chance. That's the only way to solve the problem. 

 

Try and see things from their point of view as well as your own. I hope you feel better soon catmaster.

Yep. This happens a lot. Someone in my family will demand to watch a film but when we watch it they're on their phone.... 

It seems you are the only normal one who notices these things. You tried and that's what matters. If you ask me, I say keep trying because it really is not between you and them anyway, it's between you and God. Besides, maybe if you told them your intentions, things might have been different.

Thank you all for your kind responses! you've all managed to lift my mood, guess I'll just sweep the dirt under the rug for now

 

I'm sorry to hear that catmaster family is very important, so I shall I pray for you and your family.

I'm sort of in the same boat as you, so I can understand your situation. I too am a 24 year old student with little free time to spare, and it's hard to get everyone together to enjoy something. I'm the oldest however, so I can (lovingly) boss my siblings around and tell them to turn off their electronics. It's hard to get my dad involved in things,not that he doesn't love us, he just would rather be doing other things.

I've found that being open about it works out. It's awkward sometimes, but they're family, and they'll love family no matter what.

I hope that, like you said, it all gets swept under the rug by this time next week.

 

Yup thanks

 

I'm the oldest too and as such I try to act as mature as possible. With that said I'm not the sort of person to usually tell people/family members off unless I genuinely think they're doing something dangerous that might harm themselves or others. If I am annoyed I usually just keep a poker face and hold it in.

 

I can sort of relate to that. Sometimes when I go out and have dinner with my family , I just sit there looking at some of my family members playing with their phones . Its like there is no longer any communication between us. And I like you want to cherish every moment with my family members since i'm studying overseas and only return to my home country around mid July or December . So I guess the thing you can do is talk to them about it .

 

I'm sorry to hear that, I have some idea of what you've experienced too

Its sad but I strongly feel that excessive immersion in social networking through technology is a really negative thing. Even though i'm technically a Gen Y kid, I feel that Gen Z and beyond are overly and excessive absorbed in their gadgets these days that its actually kinda sad.

With your case, I genuinely wish you well in studies and everything else. You're a strong one so keep on fighting!

 

 

Too bad about family and your younger brother that always go on Facebook. I hope you'll feel better catmaster0116! I believe in you!

 

 

 

In terms of your mother and father, they were probably tired from working all day, cleaning and so forth. I'm sure your parents didn't mean to upset you like that, sometimes people hurt others unintentionally. Family can make mistakes too, they are just as human as the rest of us.

 

As for your younger brother, he'll learn eventually that there's more to life than facebook. Perhaps his friends were upset and they needed support so he was messaging them to cheer them up. There's a reason for everything.

 

I urge you to sit down with your family and actually talk to them when you have a chance. That's the only way to solve the problem. 

 

Try and see things from their point of view as well as your own. I hope you feel better soon catmaster.

 

Thanks for responding, my response was long so I put it in a spoiler box

 

 

what you said may very well be true too regarding my parents. They work very hard indeed and I owe them everything that I am and more, therefore I always try to support them in any way that I can. As for my younger brother's case, I don't believe there can be any excuse. Are there really friends who are chronically and continually upset and need support? Because this has been going on for more than a year and if that were the case - then considering professional psychiatric help for a mood disorder would be the appropriate course of action. There is a (clinical) line drawn between "I'm sad and I need some friends to cheer me up" vs "I'm sad all the time and you have to be here to cheer me up 24/7" (i.e. he's up in the morning at like 11am, goes on FB and then either 'goes to Uni' as he claims to be or plays online games for the entire day. Lets be realistic who goes to uni on weekends and stays in the library for the whole day? I myself am a straight A student and even then I don't do that. Its either that or he stays home and plays online games until like 2 am at night and only ever comes out for toilet breaks or food. He's not even an honors student or engaging in any research for the University. I only ask for 90 minutes of everyone's time for some family time.

 

I'm generally a very lenient person and I can tolerate quite a bit, but there is a saying that goes "Even saints have a limit for their patience" and I believe there is a similar proverb for Buddha too which goes something like "Stroke even the face of a Buddha thrice, and his anger will be roused."...I do believe that same quote was referenced in the latest chapter of the manga called 'Bleach' (Just some trivia lol ).

 

And yeah, if this happens again I most definitely will address the issue then and there. Thank you for your advice!

 

 

 

 

Yep. This happens a lot. Someone in my family will demand to watch a film but when we watch it they're on their phone.... 

 

yep. I'm sorry to hear that. As you can see this is an ongoing issue across a few families too.

 

 

It seems you are the only normal one who notices these things. You tried and that's what matters. If you ask me, I say keep trying because it really is not between you and them anyway, it's between you and God. Besides, maybe if you told them your intentions, things might have been different.

 

LOL, first sentence made my day .

Thank you for your support

I can totally understand why you would feel so frustrated.  Sometimes I would get with my family and watch a movie, only everyone would be on their laptops or going from room-to-room, not paying attention to the movie at all.  It sort of makes you wonder, "Okay, what's the point in watching this here if everyone else is disinterested . . . ?"  Admittedly there were a lot of good family times, too, so I cannot really complain about the laptop times.  Still, I can understand your point, and I think family time is very important.

 

You never know when people will move on, or life changes, and you don't have your family around you anymore.  I wish that I'd cherished my time so much differently than I had with my own family.  It's also surprising to me that other people (ie your family) don't see the situation the same way that you do, unless some of us just have a different vision on "family" and it's more important to us than others.

 

Anyhow, feel free to rant about this and get it out of your system.  I would be very frustrated as well if I were in your position.  I'm sure not all is lost because there isn't more family time shared, but I still feel your frustration and I know how important family time is.  You never know how limited it can be.

At dinner my family occasionally uses devices but usually we are either discussing the news together or just talking. Maybe you could express your grievances and maybe start a no devices allowed family time every night....just a thought.