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And it kind of caused me to fall into bad sleeping habits

Monetary cost for supplies and travel is also something to take into consideration.

It was mostly my mental health, but I did make my back problem worse

Just thinking about that is nerve-wracking.

Cause I was sitting down all the time

Like, I literally broke down like........maybe 14 times???? 15 times????

Ah,....oh dear

Sorry

Ouch

Yeah that's how much stress I had

Yeah its not fun.

I have to get up often to move so I don't stiffen up and make the cracking sounds from crepitus.

I hate having breakdowns. Because anyone near me gets caught up in it

A couple of the breakdowns I had was in front of my mom

Then there is the family criticism b/c they don't understand how complicated the processes were made from then to now.

I felt bad for her cause I know she felt pain just by looking at my sorry state

Were you embarrassed or ashamed?

Like I dont want to keep telling ppl the worst outcomes and how ill never get anywhere because of my failure to improve myself. But it happens when I break down in front of my sister. And I cant listen to reason

I was ashamed

so it goes nowhere

im just spouting negativity

It takes so much effort to hide it.

^^^

It just sucks

hiding also isn't really healthy either

But we don't want to bring others down...

I'm sick and tired of this "as soon as you graduate you better find a career job or else Life will firetruck you up"