Actually it is YOU! That is right you suck. What do suck exactly?

 

 

 

 

Eggs, mother firetrucking eggs.

 

 

 

 

You suck so much that I, a sucky person in general has come to the conclusion that you indeed suck. Hell I think a black hole has less suction than you. And those things can suck up an entire star system.

 

In fact, scientist have been trying to replicate how much you suck. This led to the creation of prostitutes and roomba automatic vacuums. One sucks up dirt and the other sucks up...erm...sausage

 

 

 

And if you thought that the prostitute is the one that sucks on the sausage, you might be a pervert.

 

 

So, you've found out that you suck...

 

Well your options are quite limited right now. Overall suckiness is impossible to cure and causes more deaths in the world per year than the amount of people killed by beavers. What? Beavers don't kill people? Well what about Tom Willsmoth! He was killed by a beaver! Never heard of him? Well Beavers kill people by going back in time and and shooting the great great ancestor of their victim. Usually the ancestor is killed by getting repeatedly kicked in the balls but beavers sometimes bring along their allies the wood chucks who proceed to chuck wood at the ancestor.

 

Anywho back to you sucking massive eggnog...

 

You have a few options to make yourself a little less sucky.

 

1. Break all the eggs in your house, thus preventing you from sucking them.

 

2. Declare war on your neighbors pet ferret. Your neighbor doesn't have a ferret you say? Then buy him one as a gift you greedy bastard, no wonder you suck.

 

3. Worship me as your God write a story about how much strike through jokes suck

 

4. Create a list of paradox's to use when the robots take over. I think "I do not suck" would be a good paradox for you. All robots will know that you suck and will thus explode upon hearing that sentence. Making you suck even more because robots are cool.

 

5. Become a fat drunken loser with no friends or family and sits down on their lard ass drinking their tears after crying for 9 hours about how big a failure they are. Wait what's that? You already do that? Excellent one down.

4. Create a list of paradox's to use when the robots take over. I think "I do not suck" would be a good paradox for you. All robots will know that you suck and will thus explode upon hearing that sentence. Making you suck even more because robots are cool.

 

What if I am a robot...

SUCKCEPTION.

You sir, are either a Troll, (SK3 is better than anyone at trolling) or someone who is trying to make people laugh.

 

You fail at both.

I... uh... *Craiz*

You sir, are either a Troll, (SK3 is better than anyone at trolling) or someone who is trying to make people laugh.

 

You fail at both.

 

Y U NO KNOW FREDFRED?

You sir, are either a Troll, (SK3 is better than anyone at trolling) or someone who is trying to make people laugh.

 

You fail at both.

 

I try to help people and this is what I get. I'm afraid I can't help you. I have a PhD in Suckology and your diagnosis is so bad you only have 24 hours before you suck so much that you actually choke on your suckiness. I suggest wrapping things up, saying goodbye to friends, spending time with your family, etc.

 

 

 

What if I am a robot...

SUCKCEPTION.

 

Remember the roomba automatic vacuum? Those are robots too so you still suck.

 

I... uh... *Craiz*

 

 

It's okay to feel sad sometimes. You may suck and I may be the most awesome person ever, that's how the world works.

It's okay to feel sad sometimes. You may suck and I may be the most awesome person ever, that's how the world works.

 

I will try to be like you. OPTIMISM!

I don't want to suck. I GUESS I WILL MAKE YOU A CAMEO IN MY STORY THEN.

You suck so much, fred, that you aren't aware that the gravity of a black hole is infinite, so nothing can possibly suck more than that because it's against the laws of physics.

I will try to be like you. OPTIMISM!

 

Optimism is a right reserved for the non -sucky

 

I don't want to suck. I GUESS I WILL MAKE YOU A CAMEO IN MY STORY THEN.

 

Thank you for the offer, but you still suck.

 

You suck so much, fred, that you aren't aware that the gravity of a black hole is infinite, so nothing can possibly suck more than that because it's against the laws of physics.

 

Only a sucky person will say that. Everyone knows that suckiness is about infinity times 1 kajillion.

This is eerily poetic.

 

And so I will break all the eggs in my house.

Thank you for showing me the light.

This is eerily poetic.

 

And so I will break all the eggs in my house.

Thank you for showing me the light.

 

No problemo. I enjoy going to sleep at night knowing that I've helped someone out there.

2. Declare war on your neighbors pet ferret. Your neighbor doesn't have a ferret you say? Then buy him one as a gift you greedy bastard, no wonder you suck.

But I don't have any neighbors

 

3. Worship me as your God

And I already worship DChuich as my God.

But I don't have any neighbors

 

Then build a house, kidnap someone and put them in it! How hard can it be people?

 

 

And I already worship DChuich as my God.

But does DChuich offer goodies and snacks after the church service is over?

Then build a house, kidnap someone and put them in it! How hard can it be people?

*smacks head* Duh. I must have brain damage from sucking so bad.

 

But does DChuich offer goodies and snacks after the church service is over?

 

No, but he has lots of sexy times

*smacks head* Duh. I must have brain damage from sucking so bad.

 

It's ok, one small sucky step at a time.

 

No, but he has lots of sexy times

 

But you must remember there is a lot of sucking going on during such a thing. The goal is to make you unsucky.

But you must remember there is a lot of sucking going on during such a thing. The goal is to make you unsucky.

 

*gasp* You're right! I know nothing anymore! I never realized how sucking ruled my life!

I always suspected it, but at least you were nice enough to confirm it for me.

Only a sucky person will say that. Everyone knows that suckiness is about infinity times 1 kajillion.

 

You can't multiply infinity. It's like dividing by 0.

MMMMM liver wrust.

I dont think i suck... i think life sucks.

I just lost the last 10 min. to this thread. http://kh13.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/sleep.png

You can't multiply infinity. It's like dividing by 0.

 

Thats not infinite. Thats just impossible lol.

I'm sorry to inform you but I only suck t***

I'm sorry to inform you but I only suck t***

 

TITS OR GTFO

I want to see that.