So I lied to my fiance again and said i was at work and left to my friends house and it just hurt her bad. And now she wants me to stop being friends with them or she's calling off the wedding and I just can't decide what to do... will someone give me some advice! I love her so much but these are my closest friends, I can't choose....

Why'd you lie to her? Not calling you out or anything, it's just that the answer to the question depends on this. I mean, what would happen if you had just told her you were going to see friends?

Yeah there wasn't really any reason to lie in the first place...

Don't stop being friends with them, just kind of distance yourself from them until the marriage and see if everything clears up.

DC does have a point. you coulda just said you were going to your friends house forr something instead of lieing to her...maybe you should apologize and find something to make up for it...

She said the only thing that would make her feel better is if I stop hanging out with them, like have to tell "we're not friends anymore" or she will always be mad.

She didn't like them in the first place, and my friends don't like her.

Also I lied because I haven't seen them in like forever and one friend is always busy and I wouldn't know the next time I'd see him and she didn't want to take me so I got a ride from a co-worker. I just kind.day seized the moment.

You cant start off a marriage with dishonesty and mistrust . Trust is the foundation of a relationship.If built unstable, the whole thing can come crashing down . Try to apologize and be honest . Maybe try getting her and your friends to talk out any issues and maybe even come to an understanding. Communication does wonders with friendships and relationships.

And that is why I'm considering not getting married, I can't choose between my wife and my friends...I need both in my life, cannot have one without the other

Edited July 20, 201213 yr by RikuVazquez

im no expert in this stuff but, u should apologize to her. right now ,in ure life she's the number 1 priority because she is the one u will spend ure entire life with. u should definetly apologize to her.

They wont talk and even if they did it would end well. It's best to keep them apart, I know them too well.

She wont even let me touch her or anything, I guess I've lied one to many times... the last time I lied was in may and it was about me smoking weed for about three months behind her back when she thought I quit(I finally actually quit! ) but I just don't know......:'(

Look, i'm no expert, but um, did you try kissing her and apologizing?

what part of I can't touch don't you understand

And of course I apologized,

To be honest ,are you sure you are ready to be getting married ? If you are lying to her left and right and sneaking around i'm not sure you have the maturity yet . Especially if you arent willing to try talking and communicating to help solve your problems.You wrote it off without even trying . Communication is key in a relationship and especially marriage . I'm not trying to be rude , just honestly trying to help.

I don't lie often and I want to spend my life with her I Eben agreed that my friends don't have to come to the wedding I just want her!!!!! And I constently try to make her feel better, all she wants is for my friends to not be my friends so.that way she'll feel first to me and not second. But she is first, I even said ill stop talking to them for a while, but she said its not the same.

I don't lie often and I want to spend my life with her I Eben agreed that my friends don't have to come to the wedding I just want her!!!!! And I constently try to make her feel better, all she wants is for my friends to not be my friends so.that way she'll feel first to me and not second. But she is first, I even said ill stop talking to them for a while, but she said its not the same.

 

Well she also needs to be willing to concede to certain things and come to a mutual agreement .A relationship is not one sided . Why is she so adament about your friends? Is there a good reason or is she being unreasonable ?

Well when we first started dating she was a little clingy so my friends didn't like that and started talking about her and how she should be able to let me go over there by myself and because they didn't like her, she doesn't like them....unless there's another reason.

I'd ask but she look at me like I'm dumb and say you know why and never tell me.

Well when we first started dating she was a little clingy so my friends didn't like that and started talking about her and how she should be able to let me go over there by myself and because they didn't like her, she doesn't like them....unless there's another reason.

I'd ask but she look at me like I'm dumb and say you know why and never tell me.

 

To be honest, if thats all there is to it (?) ,then this can all be solved with getting everyone together and talking this out . Everyone needs to suck it up and be mature and talk this out and come to a mutual agreement .Tell them all if they all truly care about being in your life and around you they need to do this .

So your fiance can't accept your friends and who you are? The marriage isn't gonna work, simple as that. Sorry to burst your bubble, but you two need mutual agreement and mutual understanding for it to work and trust. She should understand that you have friends you want to spend time with and sometimes she can't be number 1, your friends are important too, you can't just be her b!tch all the time. You need your space too and she needs hers.

You can't let your fiance tell you who to hang out with, but you shouldn't be lying to her either.

Talk it out and tell her that you need your space, you can't be catering to her 24/7. If she gets mad, then sorry bro, not gonna work out

Thisis Randy's fiance u guys have no clue what's going on in our relationship just by what he has told u and what he toldu makes me seem like thebad person in this whole thing I told him before this all happen that once we got our car fixed and had gas I was gonna take him to see his friends I would do anything for him like I have I try everything I can to take him to do what he wants but that's hard to do all the time with no gas money and a car that needs fixed plus a baby on the way but after all this that he has done to me no I don't want him to be friends with them I'm tired of being broken inside for his friends so now that u know myside now u guys can talk but what some of u guys said before is lies and not the truth

 

And I can be number one all the time me and hid son should always be number one in his life

Hun, he's the one that came to us for help.

Basically, both of you need to sort out your problems because he shouldn't have to give up his friends and you shouldn't have to be lied to. Grow up and compromise.

You can't be number all the time, people need more than just one person in their lives. Honestly, you're being a selfish bitch. People have friends. PEOPLE HAVE LIVES OUT OF RELATIONSHIPS. PEOPLE HAVE FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND OTHER PEOPLE THEY CARE ABOUT. LEARN TO SHARE.

 

If you guys didn't have gas to go see his friends or w/e (I can BARELY understand what you wrote), I don't see what's wrong about him getting a ride from his coworker/???

Sure he lied to you, but obviously you're making him feel like he needs to lie to you to be with his friends and both of you are at fault in the end.

Thisis Randy's fiance u guys have no clue what's going on in our relationship just by what he has told u and what he toldu makes me seem like thebad person in this whole thing I told him before this all happen that once we got our car fixed and had gas I was gonna take him to see his friends I would do anything for him like I have I try everything I can to take him to do what he wants but that's hard to do all the time with no gas money and a car that needs fixed plus a baby on the way but after all this that he has done to me no I don't want him to be friends with them I'm tired of being broken inside for his friends so now that u know myside now u guys can talk but what some of u guys said before is lies and not the truth

 

I have not made you out to be the bad guy at all .I said you BOTH need to talk things out and come to a MUTUAL agreement for this relationship to work .Communication and coming to an understanding will only help your relationship.If not, only resentment and anger will come out of this if one side feels like they are doing all the 'work' and making all the sacrifices. Remember, a successful relationship takes hard work,understanding and even some sacrifice .If you cant understand this, you arent mature enough to handle marriage .

Don't lie mate. If you tell the truth and she still doesn't like it....at least you tried.

Okay well first off I did say some of u guys were wrong second of all u don't know me there for u have no right to call me a bitch and third it wouldn't have been a problem for his Co worker to take him over there if I knew he was going over there instead of finding out two days later that he really only worked 6 hours the other 6 he was at a friends

Okay well first off I did say some of u guys were wrong second of all u don't know me there for u have no right to call me a bitch and third it wouldn't have been a problem for his Co worker to take him over there if I knew he was going over there instead of finding out two days later that he really only worked 6 hours the other 6 he was at a friends

 

And once again this all couldve been solved with COMMUNICATION AND HONESTY

Edited July 20, 201213 yr by Flaming Lea

If you guys can't communicate, you shouldn't be getting married.