Bella's a Vampire now

Bella and Edward get it on and say they will never stp doing it

they never do it in the whole movie ever again

Jacob's a Pedophile:

IMMA MARRY YAR BABY

Jacob tries to get it on with Bella's dad

YES WE GET IT BELLA HAS THOSE SPECIAL ABILITIES TO CONTROL HER THIRST AND BREAK ROCKS

Alice gets visions

they're all gon die cuz

Some irene chick or something sued the vampires to the vampire police

apparently their half-zombie child named after a combination of two ugly mom names is mistaken for an immortal zombie child

so they have a vampire family meeting when vision whore suddenly disappears

Brazilians are portrayed like this

SUddenly they copy Harry Potter and go like ALWAYS

Jacob is still a pedophile

they're like "Let's get vampire police if they try to kill us"

So bella has this shield power and she can shield other vamps from other vamps

so wow suddenly there's this meeting between vamp police and cullen famly

and they're like

bitch our daughter has human blood

and they're like

bitch nope

and then edward's like LOOK IN MY MEMORY MOTHERfiretruckER

and he's like k

and he's like

wow

hum

okay

guys

she's actually kinda human

BUT WE ARE CLOSE MINDED

SO

LET'S KILL HER ANYWAY

So then alice pops up and is like bitch I know this pochahontas guy and he's like eresemmemeeer(Their freak daughter) and I'm not going on rampage like a half zombie child would

Police is not convinced

so alice there's this badass fight scene in which practically EVERY VAMPOLICE GUY DIED

and it's all a vision and vision whore is like "this is how you'll end up if you try to kill her, bitch"

And then they're like

run for it

and they do

and then they have this happy ending and everyone goes home

 

Forever

 

 

I HAVE DIED

EVERY DAY

WAITING FOR YOU

DARLING DON'T

BE AFRAID

I HAVE LOVE DYOU

FOR A THOUUUUUSAND YEARS

I'LL LOVE YOU FOR A THOUSAND MORE

 

Basically nothing happens the whole movie

It's boring and not worth your money

unless you're like me and my friends and watch it to laugh and spoil the ending to everyone as the movie begins

Edited November 24, 201212 yr by Kinode

 

It's boring and not worth your money

 

 

But... that sounded far more interesting than all the other Twilight movies...

I Thought It Was Good The Fight/Vision Secne Was Pretty Bad Ass (To Me Anyways) Though The Book Was 100 Times Better

Seems legit.

WHY ISN'T THIS REVIEW IN IMDB?

You saw Breaking Dawn Part 2? Poor Kinode, no person should ever have to go through that.

I still don't understand to this day how people are so into that series...