In order to help you understand, I have to go back in time.Back in the 7th grade, my brother was dating a friend of mine, who for privacy reason, we will call Jan.Jan and my brother broke up that year, but we remained really close friends. A few months later, she wanted to date me, but I felt a complete awkwardness about it, because I liked someone else, and dating your brothers ex is just something you don't do... or is it? Anyways, I told her no, and she was upset for awhile. We still talked though, for years.Anyways, now we are juniors in high school... and I've began to get feelings for her. You've got to understand that I've only been in one relationship, and she was going to get married, but that relationship ended badly. Our two relationship...uh.."styles" I guess, obviously differ, but we have so much in common. I don't plan to ask her out now, but  maybe in a few months... Is it a good idea? I'm so confused. My mind always goes when I talk about this stuff.

It'd be awkward, but you really should ask him if he's ok with it. But if you like her, and she likes you, then I guess go with what feels right.

Edited March 12, 201312 yr by Hei

It was years ago and you have a lot in common. I think you should go for it, but if you're THAT concerned maybe you should ask your brother?

I don't see a problem with it.

Maybe it's just me but I don't consider middle school relationships as dating. Also you should get your brother's approval and then ask her out.

I can't ask my brother because... well... He's my brother... that's just kind of weird... Idon't know.

I can't ask my brother because... well... He's my brother... that's just kind of weird... Idon't know.

Yeah well.....he should hear it from you before someone else tells him who you are going to/want to date.

Yeah well.....he should hear it from you before someone else tells him who you are going to/want to date.

Yeah, maybe. Luckily for me, I don't talk to anyone at my school, but I still agree. I forgot to mention that I go to a different school than 'Jan' now.

Go for it son, hook in!

It could be awkward. But there's nothing wrong with it.

If you like her, go for it.

 

Do what your heart tells you

Wait wait wait.  She was planning a marriage?  When she's a junior in high school?  Dude, no.  Guy code discourages dating your bro's ex, but I don't think it's forbidden, but that's not the reason you probably shouldn't do it.  Just from the fact you have vastly different priorities in the relationship, and you both still being in high school, shows me the chances of it working out in the end are abysmal.  Sheesh, I mean, I thought marriage is one of those things you shouldn't be worried about until graduating college at the least.  At least by that point you'd know yourself better and have more experience and wisdom overall.  Just having stuff in common isn't enough to keep a relationship going.  Even if you have feelings for her and it seems she feels the same, it looks like you both want different things out of the relationship and that can make things go downhill fast.

Wait wait wait.  She was planning a marriage?  When she's a junior in high school?  Dude, no.  Guy code discourages dating your bro's ex, but I don't think it's forbidden, but that's not the reason you probably shouldn't do it.  Just from the fact you have vastly different priorities in the relationship, and you both still being in high school, shows me the chances of it working out in the end are abysmal.  Sheesh, I mean, I thought marriage is one of those things you shouldn't be worried about until graduating college at the least.  At least by that point you'd know yourself better and have more experience and wisdom overall.  Just having stuff in common isn't enough to keep a relationship going.  Even if you have feelings for her and it seems she feels the same, it looks like you both want different things out of the relationship and that can make things go downhill fast.

The guy who she was going to marry, she was in a relationship with for four years, and about a month ago is when they decided to get married. It ended because it turns out that the guy was a cheating *ss. My parent's dropped out of high school to get married around this same time. While I wouldn't support it, it worked out for them.

I think its fine. In 7th grade your 12, maybe 13? Thats not dating. What was the date anyway? Chuck. E Cheese's?

 

I think your fine. If your brother has problems with it then he's being pretty immature. 7th grade is just too young to have any real feelings for someone. It's cute to see that stuff but I just don't feel that at 12 or 13 you just are ready for a serious romance. Once you hit 14 or 15 though then things change

 

You shouldn't have any trouble. Go ask her out. I'm sure she would be happy to accept.

Edited March 13, 201312 yr by Amon