*WARNING FILTER BLOG*

 

Ok so yet again I`m just filtering I guess. Need some place to get this out. And maybe, just maybe I`ll feel better. 

 

I`m tired...of everything. Tired of school and how it never changes. Tired of putting up with everyone's ********. Tired of having to go to school every day doing pretty much the same thing we've been doing for the past three years. But most of all I`m tired of just being tired. 

 

I`m in year 9 so I`m about to go to high school next year and from the looks of it, high school is fast becoming a really tough time for me. I don't fit in. (not that I want to.) I don't do all the stuff the other girls do. I don't dress like a slut or be a total bitch to everyone. I don't gossip and I certainly don't wear make up. I`m a complete geek for heaven's sake! None of my other siblings have been the ones to fit in either. The only person I feel I can really talk to is a math nerd who like the big book of stereotypes says; is a guy. So there's a lot of things I can't tell him about. 

 

Somehow, I feel as though my life isn't going anywhere. I`m wasting a lot of potential. Plus, I feel pretty lonely even though I have friends. But they wouldn't understand anyway because they're waaaay to immature to comprehend the basic emotions or thoughts I have. My birthday is in one month and I know how 13 is the hardest year, it's just that I don't see how things could improve. 

 

At school, I come in I sit at my desk and feel sorry for myself. Nobody says hello, hi, are you ok, or even acknowledges my existence. I don't know how to talk to other people who I don't know very well. Well, I hardly talk to anyone outside my friendship circle which is kinda small. (not that's a problem or anything.) 

 

There's this guy. Who's a really good friend of mine. I haven't seen him about six weeks and I haven't had the time to call him. He hasn't sent me an email or anything so I feel as though he's becoming a smaller and smaller part of my life. (I sorta have a thing for him. If you know what I mean.) I see every two weeks on a Sunday at youth, but that's becoming less and less as time goes on. I've known him for a good two or three years now. But it seems as though I don't see him at all. Which is really starting to break my heart. 

 

I`m not like all the other kids because one day the teacher wanted us to stand in a circle and tell everyone what was our priority in life. When it was my turn I stepped forward and said: "My priority in life is to make the most of what I have before time runs out." When I said that the teacher gave me a strange look as well as the other kids. Most of them said stuff like: 'Family and School." "Academic Success." But I didn't and felt almost scared to say what I wanted to say. 

 

Right now, I`m just so...empty. Like I have nothing left. I seriously wish that...I could have.....a happier....attitude towards  life. But when I try to be I can't. Look I will NEVER take the Ultimate choice as path. Okay. My situation isn't that bad. I AM NOT ABOUT TO SUICIDE. I am  being serious. The thought of it has never crossed my mind and never will. Just to make myself clear.

 

I`m just in a really bad mental, emotional and physical state right now.

 

To whoever reads this,

 

Thank you, for reading it and maybe someone can tell me what I should do.  

 

- Princess Kairi 

 

 

I sort of now how you feel, sometimes it doens't make any sense.Stuff like school and whatever, I always feel really stuck in some stupid system I can't break free from.People can be really hard on me but I wouldn't want to change who I am for the world. I like to think I'm important to God. But I seriously feel like I'm failing life ._. 

It's good to see you venting and asking for help. Trust me, bottling up your emotions and problems will lead to nothing but trouble later on. Having no one to talk to is quite possibly the worst feeling there before that 'ultimate option', and I'm glad that you're not considering that option. Look, high school can either be the best of times or the worst, it just depends on how you make it.

 

If it would make you feel better, consider talking to that guy and tell him how you feel about him before starting High School. Either he'll acknowledge your feeling and possibly return them, or not but at least it'll give you some sense of closure. Believe me, the feeling of "what if..." on encounters that "could have been" are just as bad and will only contribute to making an already negative view on the current situation even worse.

 

It's morning for me so some of this might not make sense. Later on during the day I'll post a more 'refined' suggestion. Sorry if I couldn't help just yet, I'm just not a morning person -.-'

Well humanoids have that pesky emotion called sadness it sets in even when we feel fine. I do say if ever you do feel down try to think of happier things if this doesn't work use the ultimate anti depressant 

the world's beauty. my favorite is to go see to look at kittens

 

Reading through his post, I think Javelin said pretty much everything I would have. I particularly agree with trying to reach out to your friend you feel you are lose connection with. Either way, you get to put the "what-ifs" out of your mind.

I am happy to see you are firm in your stance against the "ultimate option." That plus what you said as your priority in class says to me you have a good head on your shoulders. Give yourself some time, and you will go far.

And when you feel down, you can come here and vent. We'll be around to help as we can.

May God Bless.

Darling, is what every teenager girl is going through. And you only live once so go tell that guy about you feelings towards him. Enjoy your teen years.

So you're concerned about your life's direction; trust me, middle school does not provide any help for that.  Judging from the responses from the majority of people on the internet, middle school and high school are spiked enemas that you need to bend over and take it because the alternative is much worse.  Students in those years have skewed methods of judging people that no one in the real world will ever use ever.  The real world does not give two craps about what music you listen to and it generally wants presentable people, so the girls who dress like sluts will have to adjust their wardrobe eventually.  Chances are, you won't get much or any fulfillment from school--college is better geared towards that.

 

You can't be the one geek out of a school of 1000+ (depending on how big it is).  In my experience you need to look closely to find them because geeks like me tend to keep their geeky things to themselves unless they're in geeky company.  Keep a sharp eye out; you'd be surprised where and how they're hiding.  I'd say find people you can relate to fast because people skills are probably the one thing that carries beyond your education.  If you're uncomfortable talking to people you don't know, the same applies to a lot of others.  Knowing how to interact with people takes practice and having an array of things to talk about--I can talk to non-geeks because I know about non-geeky things.  Sometimes you just have to force yourself, but it can help if a friend is there as well so it won't be completely awkward.  Being proactive goes a long way here.

I'm very sorry to hear that you feel this way.  Let me tell you that you're definitely not alone.  The majority of teenagers I've encountered aren't happy with their lives or the direction they're headed either.  Heck, even a lot of young adults don't feel happy with where their lives have taken them (such as myself).  You aren't strange or unordinary and, even if you can't relate to the common crowd, that still doesn't make you strange.  You just don't have anything in common with them--and that's okay.  A huge problem with peers is that they try to get EVERYONE to conform to the popular group, and anyone who doesn't gets looked down upon.  I find this a huge shame, but that's just how it is, for both guys and girls.  Though, from mere observation, it appears that girls can be slightly more judgmental than the guys.  I could be wrong.

 

I wish I could offer some good advice, but I think creating a positive outlook on life is something only you can do yourself.  Just remember that people at school are just people, and never let their opinion of you get you down.  I'm not sure if you're very social in real-life, but perhaps try talking to others who don't fall into the "popular" category.  Do you see anyone else being left out like yourself?  Maybe they'd like a friend, and who knows: perhaps they're being left out similarly to you because they also don't feel they can relate to the common group.  Another thing I'd like to suggest would be to try looking at life not as wasting time and not making the best out of it, but look towards your future and think about ways to make the most of it.  I've done this a lot with myself as well.  Looking at the past and beating yourself up for things you did or didn't do won't help matters.  Instead you've got to look forward and what can be, and try to reach the goals you set for yourself.  It's sort of difficult to explain, and I'm not sure I'm doing such a great job of it, heh.

 

Anyhow, I wish you all the best, Princess Kari.  Just remember to keep your head up; things'll get better, they really will, even if it doesn't look like it right now.  Our situations in life never stay the same forever.  Just keep striving to grow into the person you want to be and eventually you'll find a place where you belong.

Don't try and force yourself to be happy. Instead, surround yourself with the things that do make you happy.

Darling, is what every teenager girl is going through. And you only live once so go tell that guy about you feelings towards him. Enjoy your teen years.

 

YOLO

 

 

 

It's good to see you venting and asking for help. Trust me, bottling up your emotions and problems will lead to nothing but trouble later on. Having no one to talk to is quite possibly the worst feeling there before that 'ultimate option', and I'm glad that you're not considering that option. Look, high school can either be the best of times or the worst, it just depends on how you make it.

 

If it would make you feel better, consider talking to that guy and tell him how you feel about him before starting High School. Either he'll acknowledge your feeling and possibly return them, or not but at least it'll give you some sense of closure. Believe me, the feeling of "what if..." on encounters that "could have been" are just as bad and will only contribute to making an already negative view on the current situation even worse.

 

It's morning for me so some of this might not make sense. Later on during the day I'll post a more 'refined' suggestion. Sorry if I couldn't help just yet, I'm just not a morning person -.-'

 

Basically this.