So I was thinking y'know feeling rather down because I don't feel special since I hasn't won anythin'. Welp, I just thought of something and y'know guys, you all gotta be happy because we're all special!Y'knows why?

 

Because you won a race against millions of would be's. After the thing happened, you were a little tiny organism swimming' around get fertilized. You were swimming against billions of other little organisms, but you won! And that's not the only thing to be dang happy about.You also prevented the existence of the next serial killer. Because you're here, you killed totally bad people who were originally GOING to be you. Isn't that great? You killed the next Hitler!Not only that, you prevented Xehanort from being born.So next time when you're all sad, (like I will be after doing horrible on my fitness test) remember that you saved so many people! When I run a mile in like 20 minutes and feel like crap, I'll remember that I ran a marathon before I was even BORN and won and killed Hitlers and Xehanorts! Put that on your resume!"So um yeah, I beat the millions of people racing to get fertilized and killed serial killers in the process. Hire me."So be happy guys!

At first I was like dafuq is she talking about. But LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL best thing I've ever read after I got it

Thank you I needed something like this

Well to look on the bright side all those sperm who didn't make it prolly saved humanity some idiocy. However,there are still some defective sperm who actually succeed somehow and soil the human race . After all, we still find ourselves surrounded by idiots

Every time you masturbate to pleasure yourself you kill millions of your children! HOORAY!

But what if we also prevented the birth of the person who could've cured cancer or been the best President of the United States.  So there's that.

The environment you were raised in and experiences you had determine if you're a serial killer or not

Dafuq?!

That was only half of me though. And it was the half that didn't even have any mitochondria. People give too much credit, just because of the flagella, as if that were special. E. coli have tons of those AND mitochondria. Plus lateral gene transfer. And 0157 has those shiga toxins. That could actually kill all the flaggelated winners around here if were not careful. I think the E. coli won this round.

That was only half of me though. And it was the half that didn't even have any mitochondria. People give too much credit, just because of the flagella, as if that were special. E. coli have tons of those AND mitochondria. Plus lateral gene transfer. And 0157 has those shiga toxins. That could actually kill all the flaggelated winners around here if were not careful. I think the E. coli won this round.

Well that's a dark twist on what was meant to be happy.

 

Well that's a dark twist on what was meant to be happy.

 

 

Hahah, except that E. coli doesn't have mitochondria.  Woooo I shouldn't even talk at this time of night.  

Here is an algae with flagella and mitochondria though.  

 

Isn't it pretty

Edited August 29, 201411 yr by Zola

Every time you masturbate to pleasure yourself you kill millions of your children! HOORAY!

Good thing I'm a girl then!

Not sure if I agree, or just conforming...

 

Peace!

With the whole stop the next hitler or xehanort from being born thing... You do know that even with identical DNA that people can look and potentially act different? (Look up cloning and epigenetics) Also environmental factors help shape people into who they are personality wise.

Also it isn't the first sperm to get there that wins.http://elitedaily.com/news/world/winning-sperm/

 

Also like others have stated, sperm is at best half a potential person, and its only purpose is to find another half...to which it has near zero chance of succeeding. Doomed to die "alone" and exhausted, while looking for an everlasting marriage. And even if you don't do anything, if your body makes sperm, it will make sperm that will eventually leave or die.